Last night Red Shoe P$&@? played our first show. I was okay until I started playing. I felt so naked. I was scared and shaking. I missed serval notes on 7 nation Army but managed to calm myself enough to play the rest of the show pretty mistake free. I even managed to keep my cool enough during Cherrybomb to look up at the crowd. I am not going to lie, I was shaking for the rest of the night.
Rockerwife, my bandmate and soul sister, loved it. Her nerves calmed down once the music started! I think it helped that she was behind a drum kit so there was less nakedness. She did great! We already have our next gig lined up! Hard to believe we have only been playing for 6 months. We're going to try to work out a new song before the next gig and I am really looking forward to starting a new song. I am not sure that I am ready to jump on stage again but I also know that if I don't I won't so on to The Second Annual This Won't Suck in Shreveport next month.
So the last two months or so a Facebook post on hugging has been making the rounds. I have seen it attributed to the Dalai Lama but who knows where is comes from but here is a version of it:
Anyways this has brought to mind the whole idea of hugging. Being Mexican hugging is pretty normal. We hug we give cheek kisses in general most Mexicans are very outwardly affectionate. Being married to a black man, I have come to expect and enjoy the super hugs I receive from people who are total strangers to me but family via my husband. I am from a family of hugs. We love them and give them freely with each other.
I have many friends that are not from the same hugging affectionate crowd. With them it is difficult to hug. It is difficult to trust that when going in for a hug I won't be rejected. I guess really comes to the heart of the matter: trust. While yes Jesus was betrayed by a hug and a kiss, you have to have a certain openness or trust with someone to go in for the hug. Trust that I am not invading your space but that I am welcomed into it.
How hard is it to hug someone you don't know? Honestly I find it pretty easy. I find it harder to hug someone I know. If I "know" you in theory I trust you and in theory it should be easy but it also means that I know you are not a huggy person. I know that a hug is an invasion to you no matter who does the hugging. I can't hug you without making you feel uncomfortable and that makes me uncomfortable. Hugs are an expression of affection, of love, or caring and of accepting.
So with all of that in mind I threw down a personal challenge to hug my Archnemises. He is not from a hugging family. High fives and handshakes but no hugs. This was a true challenge for both of us. It is weird to hug a mirror. Anyways, I threw down my challenge on Monday and by Friday it was time to put up or shut up. To make matters stranger, Archnemises was deathly ill so great bring on the germs. We did hug. It was strange. It wasn't the warmest hug ever but thawing takes heat.
I think hugging is going to become part of the coffee crew greeting. The crew is not much for hugging and I think it speaks to a lack of trust. Maybe its is because we are all so hot that we worry that we'll just start making out mid-hug but I have a solution for that! The good ol' Christian side hug! No genitals near each other but still warm and friendly :) Anyways, I did hug Archnemises on Monday and it was not as frosty. See progress made!
Anyways, embrace people. If the hugging rule is true, we all need hugs. We all need to feel invited, accepted, and loved. If I can hug my archnemises, then surely we can all grow instead of just survive.
<p dir=ltr>One aspect of weight loss that is really easy to over look is dressing yourself. I know for me i have been struggling with dressing myself.   I have never had much style but when i was a bigger girl it was easy to find tents to wear. Now as a normal sized girl 14/16 I have no clue what to wear. I mean i don't want to wear tents anymore but i have a wonderful upper and lower spare tire. I have a waist but rolls on to and bottom. How in the heck do i dress that? </p>
<p dir=ltr>I went with a great group of girls to the woodlands to shop. I knew I would probably be in the plus size section but I was hoping for more selection. I did find some great pieces including a beautiful red super trendy dress. Honestly I look hot in it and you know I never say anything like that about myself. I was disappointed I'm the lack of choices especially I'm colors. I would find a great top only to discover they only had it in day-glo Orange. What is with neon colors this season?
Anyway, I think i need a stylist our to be nominated for what not to wear. I know i can dress better but have no clue where to start.
So what will I be doing in seven day that will lead to infamy? I or rather I should say we have our first gig. We being Rockerwife and myself. We are an all girl punk-jazz fusion band. So far it is just me on a bass guitar and Rockerwife on the drums. We have fun and for the last 6 months or so we talked about playing in front of people. Well on Friday at Factory 16 we will do just that.
Why the infamy? I like the word. I don't think we are going to get a record contract from our three song set or anything like that. We have fun and we want the challenge of preforming in front of a crowd. I think it helps that we know the venue owner, who is also Rockerwife's husband and my bass teacher. You would think that meant we were shoe ins for a spot on the band list but it doesn't. We were told to practice 6 days a week for one month and he might think about putting us on. We stepped it up and have been practicing 6 days a week. Our set gets tighter and better each practice. Ravebaby knows just about the entire set by heart, lyrics and rhythm.
I can't believe I said at the beginning of the year, I want to play a gig and here we are April and I'm going to do it. Now what am I going to do with the rest of the year? I guess expand from three songs to 10 and headline at some point.
Oh by the way the band is Red Shoe P? The P keeps changing. I think we have settled on a dirty word in Korean but I have no clue how to write it. Anyways we kick ass and Friday everyone will get to see us play.
So in the last few years I have slowly worked to green up my life. We used cloth diapers and cloth trainers. I make my own laundry detergent. We try to eat organic food as much as possible. The one change I've made that I am not too sure on is switching to natural deodorant instead of an anti-perspirant.
I have heard for years that stopping your perspiration was not natural and could be linked to cancer and such. My parents both use liquid deodorant from Avon and many of my friends have made the switch to non-aluminum deodorants. I knew that it would be a a hard switch for me. I hate feeling sweaty.
So how can this hate to sweat girl switch to something that will not stop her sweat? I have slowly been putting my anti-perspirant on only every other day. Then once I ran out I headed to the natural grocery store in town and found a lavender deodorant with no aluminum or much of anything really. Honestly I am not liking it. I hate feeling so wet under my arms. I am struggling with getting use to my natural smell. I know or maybe I think I don't stink but I am thinking it is time to switch to something else. I've heard some people use baking soda, coconut oil and a few drops of essential oils as deodorant. I need to go buy the coconut oil. I am not liking the change. I don't like it one bit. Sometimes being green stinks :)
So my plan had been to write about my work into greening my life but when I got home I heard about the tragedy at today's Boston Marathon and needless to change my topic changed. DH and I were trying to figure out what happened at the Boston Marathon since I got home got on Twitter and saw pray for Boston. While watching the coverage DH noticed that people were still finishing the race. Why the hell were they still running?
So why run? Why keep running when you hear a bomb? Well I wasn't there and I honestly have no clue but I know this, when I am racing I am in my head. I am barely aware of the world around me. I can image that at the end a a marathon you are completely in your zone. You are so one with yourself and you are about to finish a marathon, I can image it would take your brain to register that that sound you heard was a bomb. I think also in part it is your natural instinct to run when you hear a scary noise.
I have been not running. I have been sitting. I have been debating the reason for me to run. Why run? Why not do weights and planks and focus on losing weight instead of going further and running longer. I think I am going to start again. I think I want to get back into the running. Anyway, I will be praying for those injured, I will be praying for the families of those killed, and I will be praying for peace.
Archnemesis and DH love to speak in Samurai/Ninja/Anime speak. Honestly once I hear anything that I think might be used in an anime I totally tune out. However last night I finally bit and asked DH, what the fuck is a shinobi?
Here is my understanding of shinobi: a ninja/samurai who is willing to sacrifice for the good of the community. According to Urban Dictionary a shinobi is a highly trained ninja who is an expert in stealth retreats also known as a Warrior of the Night or Walker in Shadow. To all of that my response, what the fuck is a shinobi?
According to DH, everyone in the coffee crew is a shinobi. They all give of themselves for the good of the community. So be extension is would include me. I call bullshit. When do I give of myself for the good of the community? Now yes, I would say I give myself for my family. DH and Ravebaby are my world and I have no problem sacrificing for them. When the hell else do I do that shit?
I think some of my resistance is the premises in my mind that a shinobi must be doing this for just the community. I guess I see it as a good guy in the shadows. I am no good guy and very rarely do I do anything without expectation of something in return. How can I be shinobi when I am one never with the coffee crew and two I am looking for something in return?
Maybe this is still part of my own view of myself as a horrible person. I mean I do give but yes I want a thank you back. I don't want money or things in return. Usually I want acknowledgement and a feeling of belonging. I know if you give with the expectation of something in return you are by definition not giving freely. If you are not giving freely then you are not a good person. If I expect something back then I am not really being a good giving person, I am just a self-centered asshole.
Anyways but the point, what the fuck is a shinobi? I don't know.
Disclosure: I received a free copy of the work out DVD. All opinions are my own.
I recently received a copy of Kenya Moore's Booty Boot Camp. I have to say, I have no clue who Kenya Moore is but she has got a booty to envy! I wasn't sure what I had gotten myself into with the DVD but I have always felt like my booty could use a lift so I was game for trying it.
The warm up is pretty basic and Kenya and her trainer are super peppy. It was fun to move but it reminded me of why I am not a fan of aerobics. I am not very coordinated so moving and watching takes a lot of effort on my part. The trainer does a good job of explaining what to do next but I find it confusing to hear and watch her while I am doing a different move.
After a 15-min warm up you have a choice of three level of booty work out. I have only done level 1. It was not very hard and at first I was like did I do anything but the next day I felt it. There a couple of signature moves done by Ms. Moore. The booty pop which I felt and I can do without the squatting position. In fact I have taken to booty popping in my chair, note this is just isolating the gluten muscle not actually booty popping like in a dance club. The second signature move was downright pornagraphic. It is hard to describe but think of a man going for doggy style but starting in a semi-squat. Not pretty and feels awkward as hell to do.
I have not done the other levels yet. Would I have spent money on this video? No but DH has commented that my booty seems higher. If DH is noticing a difference I'll keep it up. I do wish that the video gave more instruction, like after two weeks three times a week add level two or switch to level two. The viewer just kind of has to make the call. DH asked me how long are suppose to do it, how many weeks? Honestly I have no clue.
I do like the workout minus the one signature move that I literally turn red on. I am noticing a more firm butt and now that I have the warm up down, I really enjoy it. DD likes to do the warm up too. (Note I will not let her do the booty workouts.). Worth the money? If you want something fun and not too hard, I say go for it.
So since DH and I started trying to workout back in October, we have noticed that our number one motivator isn't each other but our 3-year-old, Ravebaby. Just about daily she'll ask to workout. If we workout while she is napping and she finds out about, she gets mad. There have been times when I workout before she gets up in the morning and she'll require we workout together. I am not a fan of working out after I just worked out but I like that she wants to get moving. It is pretty hard to tell Ravebaby no so it's a big motivator to get up and move if nothing else to keep the child from whining about wanting to work out.
Along with Ravebaby wanting to workout together, I am also finding it difficult to go out to run. I just can't kick myself into gear! I've started doing the Kenya Moore Booty Bootcamp and have a lot of fun with it. I am moving and working out but I'm not running. I am really struggling to decide what is my purpose for working out. Do I want to run a half-marry or would I rather see the changes in my body, ie losing inches? I know I want to be healthy and working out is part of that. I do like the challenge of running longer or faster but I was not seeing any changes as far as losing weight o inches. So I need to figure out the why to the working out. I'll get there for know I'm happy to moving and keep moving.
