Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Swirly Audrey
So yesterday, Audrey decided to whirl herself around and around. She could do about two full rotation before falling over. I had heard of toddlers doing this but it was Audrey's first go. It was so funny to see her whirl and fall over and whirl and fall over. It amazes me how much energy the kid has!
Monday, March 14, 2011
The side car solution
So I'm finally posting about my side-car solution. I've been asked about how I made my side car so here is the how.
First thing is that we bought a convertible crib. We bought ours at Babies r us but that is neither here nor there. Convertible cribs are great for this purpose because they are made to be used without the front. Normally you would do that to make the toddler bed but hey it works for this too!
Second you need to measure your crib and bed and find a wall in your room so that you can use the wall as the brace for your side car. You will be placing the crib next to the wall and pushing your bed next to it. This will keep the crib from moving. (At that step alot of people will also use bungie cords to secure the bed and crib together. I didn't have bungie cords so I didn't do it. Although, I think for a newborn this is a good step, again you can't be too safe.)
Third you need to see how much of a difference in height there is between your bed and the crib mattress. There are a couple of ways to deal with this. My solution was to use bricks under the crib legs. Many people go to the craft store and buy foam cord cut to the right measurements. It may take several layers so you'll have to measure and measure before you buy. I had extra bricks so I just used what I has on hand.
I know the picture isn't great but you can see that I have two bricks on top of each other. I have done that for all four legs.
The next step is actually pushing everything together or if you are good without the measuring tape you can measure to find the gap between the crib mattress and your bed. Remember that you have removed the front of your crib so you will have a bit of a gap. My solution was to roll up towels and placed them on the side next to the wall. That keeps the crib mattress from sliding and leaving a gap for baby to get caught in. This is super important. You cannot have a gap! The most important thing is baby's safety. I have seen that some people will create/make a special blanket that covers the seam between the crib mattress and your bed. Now that Audrey is older I don't worry about the seam but when she was younger I would lay a blanket across the seam.
Again the picture isn't great but you can see that our bed is brown and her crib is green and they are touching. It looks like there is room between the two but I think that is the crappy picture because trust me I struggle to change the sheets since it is so tight between the two.
The final step is using it. It does take time to set up but it is well worth the effort. I know many people buy an arm's reach co-sleeper and then a crib. Why spend the extra money? The convertible crib and be sidecared and then it can be your toddler bed or your child's full size bed frame. But again you have to do what is best for you.
If you have any questions or tips to add feel free to leave them in the comments and I'll try to add them to the post. Others have great write ups on putting together a side car. Google them up and see the variety that is out there. Honest it's not that hard.
So one last pic, you can see Audrey is sleeping in our bed. Most nights she uses her crib but she ends up in our bed for a few hours each night. We love it. Audrey has her space and we have ours but every night we are together.
First thing is that we bought a convertible crib. We bought ours at Babies r us but that is neither here nor there. Convertible cribs are great for this purpose because they are made to be used without the front. Normally you would do that to make the toddler bed but hey it works for this too!
Second you need to measure your crib and bed and find a wall in your room so that you can use the wall as the brace for your side car. You will be placing the crib next to the wall and pushing your bed next to it. This will keep the crib from moving. (At that step alot of people will also use bungie cords to secure the bed and crib together. I didn't have bungie cords so I didn't do it. Although, I think for a newborn this is a good step, again you can't be too safe.)
Third you need to see how much of a difference in height there is between your bed and the crib mattress. There are a couple of ways to deal with this. My solution was to use bricks under the crib legs. Many people go to the craft store and buy foam cord cut to the right measurements. It may take several layers so you'll have to measure and measure before you buy. I had extra bricks so I just used what I has on hand.
I know the picture isn't great but you can see that I have two bricks on top of each other. I have done that for all four legs.
The next step is actually pushing everything together or if you are good without the measuring tape you can measure to find the gap between the crib mattress and your bed. Remember that you have removed the front of your crib so you will have a bit of a gap. My solution was to roll up towels and placed them on the side next to the wall. That keeps the crib mattress from sliding and leaving a gap for baby to get caught in. This is super important. You cannot have a gap! The most important thing is baby's safety. I have seen that some people will create/make a special blanket that covers the seam between the crib mattress and your bed. Now that Audrey is older I don't worry about the seam but when she was younger I would lay a blanket across the seam.
Again the picture isn't great but you can see that our bed is brown and her crib is green and they are touching. It looks like there is room between the two but I think that is the crappy picture because trust me I struggle to change the sheets since it is so tight between the two.
The final step is using it. It does take time to set up but it is well worth the effort. I know many people buy an arm's reach co-sleeper and then a crib. Why spend the extra money? The convertible crib and be sidecared and then it can be your toddler bed or your child's full size bed frame. But again you have to do what is best for you.
If you have any questions or tips to add feel free to leave them in the comments and I'll try to add them to the post. Others have great write ups on putting together a side car. Google them up and see the variety that is out there. Honest it's not that hard.
So one last pic, you can see Audrey is sleeping in our bed. Most nights she uses her crib but she ends up in our bed for a few hours each night. We love it. Audrey has her space and we have ours but every night we are together.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Neutral face
Yesterday I had the need to practice neutral face. You might ask what is neutral face? That's easy; it's when someone says something shocking and because of the who or where you cannot express your feelings so you keep a neutral face.
As a crunchish mama, I am finding the need to perfect my neutral face. I am finding that a lot of very smart people do things that require my neutral face. I don't want to pass judgement. They parent their way and I parent my way. I have seen many a person have neutral face with me. It's cool and thank you for being kind enough to use your neutral face.
So go practice your neutral face. You will find it very handy.
As a crunchish mama, I am finding the need to perfect my neutral face. I am finding that a lot of very smart people do things that require my neutral face. I don't want to pass judgement. They parent their way and I parent my way. I have seen many a person have neutral face with me. It's cool and thank you for being kind enough to use your neutral face.
So go practice your neutral face. You will find it very handy.
Friday, March 11, 2011
The sweetest moments
So today Audrey feel asleep on my chest. It always reminds me of Audrey's first nap. It makes me miss my baby.
Audrey doesn't let me hold her to rock her to sleep anymore. She'll nurse and then roll her back to me. She prefers to sleep in her sidecar.
I will never forget the sweetest moment of my life: Audrey's first nap. It was two hours post partum. Debbie, my midwife, had cleaned me up and with Ray's help put me in bed. They handed my Audrey to me and we got comfortable. She relaxed and fell asleep. I had a moment before I fell asleep were I felt peaceful, whole, beautiful and that everything was right in the world. I will carry that moment with me always.
Everything she goes to sleep on my chest, I breath her in deep and I go back in time. She was new and I was new to motherhood. We had just had life transforming moments. We had worked together and now we were resting together. She hadn't been given a bath yet so she still smelled of amniotic fluid. I hadn't taken a bath yet so I had the smell of amniotic fluid on me. It was perfect. We were perfect.
Audrey doesn't let me hold her to rock her to sleep anymore. She'll nurse and then roll her back to me. She prefers to sleep in her sidecar.
I will never forget the sweetest moment of my life: Audrey's first nap. It was two hours post partum. Debbie, my midwife, had cleaned me up and with Ray's help put me in bed. They handed my Audrey to me and we got comfortable. She relaxed and fell asleep. I had a moment before I fell asleep were I felt peaceful, whole, beautiful and that everything was right in the world. I will carry that moment with me always.
Everything she goes to sleep on my chest, I breath her in deep and I go back in time. She was new and I was new to motherhood. We had just had life transforming moments. We had worked together and now we were resting together. She hadn't been given a bath yet so she still smelled of amniotic fluid. I hadn't taken a bath yet so I had the smell of amniotic fluid on me. It was perfect. We were perfect.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The attached parent
So this whole style of parenting thing is still on my mind. Like I've said before I'm not into labels. Do I fit the label of attachment parenting, yes. I babywear, I breastfeed, I bed-share, I'm against CIO and I love my Audrey. I dislike the idea that people who aren't attached parents are dettached parents. The label is awful and misleading. Like my parenting is better or more in-tune.
I think part of what bothers me is that it implies that I set out to be an attached parent. I'm going to be honest. If I could parent anyother way I probably would. I mean I don't really like having a baby kick me in the kidneys at 3am but I can't image her sleepping in another room. I didn't like leaking all over myself but I'm too cheap to spend money on formula. I would use a stroller but I'm terrified someone would steal Audrey when I turn around to look at something. I didn't set out to be attached; Audrey just kinda got attached.
I can be a bit of a controlfreak so the idea that I can control my diet and therefore Audrey's diet (via breastmilk) was a need in me. I can't trust a formula company; it is just not in me. I can't trust people to keep their hands to themselves. I want to know where Audrey is at all times. I don't want people touching my kid and having her on me (literally) means no strange hands. The bed thing, well after carrying her for 9 months in me, the idea of her down the hall just didn't work. We tried to do the crib in room but she was so little and she cried and I couldn't handle it so she moved into our bed and has been there ever since.
So maybe I'm attached but it wasn't a choice. It really did just happen but I am more than a label. Like any parents attached/dettached a label is not the whole person. We do the best we can.
I think part of what bothers me is that it implies that I set out to be an attached parent. I'm going to be honest. If I could parent anyother way I probably would. I mean I don't really like having a baby kick me in the kidneys at 3am but I can't image her sleepping in another room. I didn't like leaking all over myself but I'm too cheap to spend money on formula. I would use a stroller but I'm terrified someone would steal Audrey when I turn around to look at something. I didn't set out to be attached; Audrey just kinda got attached.
I can be a bit of a controlfreak so the idea that I can control my diet and therefore Audrey's diet (via breastmilk) was a need in me. I can't trust a formula company; it is just not in me. I can't trust people to keep their hands to themselves. I want to know where Audrey is at all times. I don't want people touching my kid and having her on me (literally) means no strange hands. The bed thing, well after carrying her for 9 months in me, the idea of her down the hall just didn't work. We tried to do the crib in room but she was so little and she cried and I couldn't handle it so she moved into our bed and has been there ever since.
So maybe I'm attached but it wasn't a choice. It really did just happen but I am more than a label. Like any parents attached/dettached a label is not the whole person. We do the best we can.
Monday, March 7, 2011
I think my weekly habit is killing my kid!
Okay so as you might know I'm Catholic. Since I am Catholic I attend Mass weekly. As part is Mass, I receive Holy Communion, which is a disk of wheat. So every week, I have wheat. It's not much wheat but yes I, the Wheatless Mama, have a bit of wheat each week.
This has not seemed to be an issue with my breastmilk; I guess in the grand scheme of my diet it is next to nothing. The problem I am noticing is a kiss sized rash on Audrey's cheek. It seems to appear on Mondays; the day after I normally take communion. I'm thinking I am taking communion and then kissing Audrey. Is it possible that she is reacting to such a small exposure? DH doesn't react when touching wheat but I was using a hair oil on Audrey that had wheat and her scalp broke out! Poor thing, I think her allergy is worse than her dad's.
With Lent starting on Wednesday, I have a lot to think about and pray over. Can/should I be taking communion if I am Wheatfree? Is it possible to still feel connected with my faith if one of the most important parts (communion) is missing? Audrey vs Jesus? This is going to be difficult.
This has not seemed to be an issue with my breastmilk; I guess in the grand scheme of my diet it is next to nothing. The problem I am noticing is a kiss sized rash on Audrey's cheek. It seems to appear on Mondays; the day after I normally take communion. I'm thinking I am taking communion and then kissing Audrey. Is it possible that she is reacting to such a small exposure? DH doesn't react when touching wheat but I was using a hair oil on Audrey that had wheat and her scalp broke out! Poor thing, I think her allergy is worse than her dad's.
With Lent starting on Wednesday, I have a lot to think about and pray over. Can/should I be taking communion if I am Wheatfree? Is it possible to still feel connected with my faith if one of the most important parts (communion) is missing? Audrey vs Jesus? This is going to be difficult.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Shut your pie-hole crunchy bitch
Okay, so how does one give advice to a parent that has a different parenting philosophy than you? I don't really label myself as any one parent philosophy but let's face facts, I'm more or less an Attachment Parent. I hate that label, makes it seem that I"m calling other parents de-ttached.
I want to share the lessons I've learned but I know that my life works for me. I don't live anyone else's life so how can my lessons really benefit them? I can talk in general but it is hard to give an example without making people feel singled out. If I talk about letting a baby "cry-it-out" and how I think it is horrible then someone will think I'm talking about them. Besides, how do you talk about something like that without passing judgement. Yes I think letting a baby cry themselves to sleep is horrible. How can you stand there and listen to your child cry? But then that is me. I can't do it. Maybe you can and may you raise the Supreme Court justice and I raise the serial killer. Who is really to say?
I think a classic example is babywearing. I babywear (shocking right?). I think there is a right way and a wrong way and there is definitely a deadly way. Yes, there is research to support my way but wrapping isn't for everyone (most days not even for me) or MeiTeis or SSC or ring slings. Maybe the Baby Bjorn is the best thing for that family. Anything else could result in dropping the baby or never wearing that baby. Which is worse? Never wear or wear in a Bjorn? I had a Bjorn! I thought it was great. Then I got my Moby and I hated my Bjorn. Then I did research and attended some babywearing meetings. I decided that for Audrey I would Bjorn no more. That doesn't make me a better parent. It made me a better parent for Audrey. Happy Mama = Happy Baby?
Even that statement, happy mama + happy baby makes me think twice. I would love to out drinking with my friends, getting my nails done and spending money on me. That would make me happy. I don't think that would make Audrey happy. I could shove formula in her face so I can get drunk but that would not make either of us happy (I'm not a big drinker). But there are mamas who are happier giving formula. Breastfeeding makes them feel trapped. Happy Mama = Happy Baby? I just don't know.
So to the point, I will not shut my pie-hole but please don't assume I'm talking about you. I will live my life and you will live yours. I don't feel guilty about my choices and neither should you. We are all doing the best we can and it is a crap shoot. My happily attached cloth-diapered breastfed Audrey could wind up a murder on death row and your happy Bjorn formula baby could cure cancer. I'm thinkin' it's a crap-shoot either way.
I want to share the lessons I've learned but I know that my life works for me. I don't live anyone else's life so how can my lessons really benefit them? I can talk in general but it is hard to give an example without making people feel singled out. If I talk about letting a baby "cry-it-out" and how I think it is horrible then someone will think I'm talking about them. Besides, how do you talk about something like that without passing judgement. Yes I think letting a baby cry themselves to sleep is horrible. How can you stand there and listen to your child cry? But then that is me. I can't do it. Maybe you can and may you raise the Supreme Court justice and I raise the serial killer. Who is really to say?
I think a classic example is babywearing. I babywear (shocking right?). I think there is a right way and a wrong way and there is definitely a deadly way. Yes, there is research to support my way but wrapping isn't for everyone (most days not even for me) or MeiTeis or SSC or ring slings. Maybe the Baby Bjorn is the best thing for that family. Anything else could result in dropping the baby or never wearing that baby. Which is worse? Never wear or wear in a Bjorn? I had a Bjorn! I thought it was great. Then I got my Moby and I hated my Bjorn. Then I did research and attended some babywearing meetings. I decided that for Audrey I would Bjorn no more. That doesn't make me a better parent. It made me a better parent for Audrey. Happy Mama = Happy Baby?
Even that statement, happy mama + happy baby makes me think twice. I would love to out drinking with my friends, getting my nails done and spending money on me. That would make me happy. I don't think that would make Audrey happy. I could shove formula in her face so I can get drunk but that would not make either of us happy (I'm not a big drinker). But there are mamas who are happier giving formula. Breastfeeding makes them feel trapped. Happy Mama = Happy Baby? I just don't know.
So to the point, I will not shut my pie-hole but please don't assume I'm talking about you. I will live my life and you will live yours. I don't feel guilty about my choices and neither should you. We are all doing the best we can and it is a crap shoot. My happily attached cloth-diapered breastfed Audrey could wind up a murder on death row and your happy Bjorn formula baby could cure cancer. I'm thinkin' it's a crap-shoot either way.
Friday, March 4, 2011
EcoNuts Soap Nuts
So a few weeks back I won at giveaway from Naturalmente Mama. I won some EcoNuts Soap Nuts. I was excited. The first time I had heard of soap nuts was at a Triad Tot Toter meeting and some of the moms swore by them. They just raved about how easy it was to wash with them and how easy they were to use. Needless to say, easy is what caught my attention. So when Maybelline at Naturalmente Mama had the giveaway I had to sign up.
I got the soap nuts and at first I was scared. It was literally a box of berries! How in the world do I use these things!? Lucky for me they came with instructions. You put five in a cloth baggy (which was included) and toss in the wash. It was that simple. I gave them a real challenge, period stained underwear! They came out spotless. First time I've ever had that happen. I'm in love! I highly recommend soap nuts!
Just as a note. Maybelline nor EcoNuts paid me to blog about them nor was that a condition of winning. But since I liked them I thought I would share.
I got the soap nuts and at first I was scared. It was literally a box of berries! How in the world do I use these things!? Lucky for me they came with instructions. You put five in a cloth baggy (which was included) and toss in the wash. It was that simple. I gave them a real challenge, period stained underwear! They came out spotless. First time I've ever had that happen. I'm in love! I highly recommend soap nuts!
Just as a note. Maybelline nor EcoNuts paid me to blog about them nor was that a condition of winning. But since I liked them I thought I would share.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Changing my name but keeping the ring
So you might have notice that Martha is a First Time Mommy is now Wheat-less Mama. Why the name change? Since Miss Audrey B. is now over a year old and my blog is almost two years old, I thought a change might be good but also the focus has changed a bit.
When I started blogging, I was just keeping an online diary of my pregnancy for my family and friends. Now I've expanded to my family life in general and affects of a wheat-less life on me. Wheat-less Mama just makes sense at the moment. I'm a mama and thanks to the funny twists in life, I'm a wheat-less one. I hope you'll keep reading as I babble on about motherhood, womanhood, and wheat-free living.
When I started blogging, I was just keeping an online diary of my pregnancy for my family and friends. Now I've expanded to my family life in general and affects of a wheat-less life on me. Wheat-less Mama just makes sense at the moment. I'm a mama and thanks to the funny twists in life, I'm a wheat-less one. I hope you'll keep reading as I babble on about motherhood, womanhood, and wheat-free living.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I'm jealous
Okay so yesterday I was in the grocery store and I randomly looked at a women's cart and I felt a stab of jealousy. Her cart was full of processed foods. I was jealous because next to her was her son. She was a mom and her cart was full of Mac and cheese, oreos, and bunches of other crap.
Yes i was jealous. Not of the "foods" she had but of the carefree nature of the cart. That mom did not think she just dumped. Her concern, can i afford is? Will we eat this? Not will this hurt my child. I don't mean to sound hateful but yes for a minute I was green with jealousy.
I never pictured my life with food allergies. When DH's food allergy test came back with wheat and yeast (among other things), I was upset. It meant a change in our diet. We tried to go totally wheat free but 8 years ago the wheat free food was hard to find and it was mostly horrible. So DH just dealt with the pain. As a grown man he can choose to eat what he wants so our diet didn't change as much as it should of. Basically we would go wheat free when his allergies were just too much.
So it was part of our lives but not the focus. I totally never thought my children would have to deal with allergies. I mean DH was 25 before his allergies were 'discovered.'. So when Audrey was screaming in pain nightly at 3 weeks old, I discovered a new phase in my life, the wheatless phase.
As long as I am breastfeeding I am wheat-free. That might be two years maybe four tops depending on when Audrey totally weans but I'll be a concerned label reading mama for the rest of my life. I'll always have to ask what is in that before Audrey eats it. I won't have that carefree grocery cart, I don't think i'll ever have that carefree cart. So yes I was jealous. I love Audrey and DH and that means I'll always have a semi-wheat-free life. But if my choices are bread and Oreos or Audrey and DH then I'll never eat and oreo again.
Yes i was jealous. Not of the "foods" she had but of the carefree nature of the cart. That mom did not think she just dumped. Her concern, can i afford is? Will we eat this? Not will this hurt my child. I don't mean to sound hateful but yes for a minute I was green with jealousy.
I never pictured my life with food allergies. When DH's food allergy test came back with wheat and yeast (among other things), I was upset. It meant a change in our diet. We tried to go totally wheat free but 8 years ago the wheat free food was hard to find and it was mostly horrible. So DH just dealt with the pain. As a grown man he can choose to eat what he wants so our diet didn't change as much as it should of. Basically we would go wheat free when his allergies were just too much.
So it was part of our lives but not the focus. I totally never thought my children would have to deal with allergies. I mean DH was 25 before his allergies were 'discovered.'. So when Audrey was screaming in pain nightly at 3 weeks old, I discovered a new phase in my life, the wheatless phase.
As long as I am breastfeeding I am wheat-free. That might be two years maybe four tops depending on when Audrey totally weans but I'll be a concerned label reading mama for the rest of my life. I'll always have to ask what is in that before Audrey eats it. I won't have that carefree grocery cart, I don't think i'll ever have that carefree cart. So yes I was jealous. I love Audrey and DH and that means I'll always have a semi-wheat-free life. But if my choices are bread and Oreos or Audrey and DH then I'll never eat and oreo again.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Giveways to know about:
Just a couple of giveways to share:
Party of 5 and Counting is giving away a Baby Bond nursing cover. Here is the link:
http://partyof5andcounting.blogspot.com/2011/02/baby-bond-review-and-giveaway.html
It closes on Feb 25th so hurry over and enter to win.
Mommy is Green is giving away a GroVia Diaper! Here is the link:
http://www.mommyisgreen.net/2011/02/glass-baby-bottle-grovia-cloth-diaper.html
It closes on March 2nd so get over there! I love Gro Vias! This is a prefect giveaway if you want to start a cloth diaper stash! You can also go to the sponsor: The Glass Baby Bottle if you just want to buy one to try out.
Mommy is Green is giving away Tropical Traditions Organic Coconut Flour! Here is the link:
http://www.mommyisgreen.net/2011/02/tropical-traditions-organic-coconut.html
That one will be open until March 6th.
Naturalmente Mama is giving away Tropical Tradition Organic Coconut oil! Here is the link:
http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/tropical-traditions-gold-label-virgin.html
That one will be open until March 5th.
While I am not a big fan of dried coconut, I don't like the texture, I love love love Coconut oil for baby's skin and to treat/prevent thrush. Both ladies just posted the giveways so get in there and get your name in the bag.
There is also another give away on Naturalmente Mama! She's got Plant Wise snack bags! That one will close on March 2nd. Here is the link: http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/planet-wise-bag-your-snack-stuff-resena.html
Party of 5 and Counting is giving away a Baby Bond nursing cover. Here is the link:
http://partyof5andcounting.blogspot.com/2011/02/baby-bond-review-and-giveaway.html
It closes on Feb 25th so hurry over and enter to win.
Mommy is Green is giving away a GroVia Diaper! Here is the link:
http://www.mommyisgreen.net/2011/02/glass-baby-bottle-grovia-cloth-diaper.html
It closes on March 2nd so get over there! I love Gro Vias! This is a prefect giveaway if you want to start a cloth diaper stash! You can also go to the sponsor: The Glass Baby Bottle if you just want to buy one to try out.
Mommy is Green is giving away Tropical Traditions Organic Coconut Flour! Here is the link:
http://www.mommyisgreen.net/2011/02/tropical-traditions-organic-coconut.html
That one will be open until March 6th.
Naturalmente Mama is giving away Tropical Tradition Organic Coconut oil! Here is the link:
http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/tropical-traditions-gold-label-virgin.html
That one will be open until March 5th.
While I am not a big fan of dried coconut, I don't like the texture, I love love love Coconut oil for baby's skin and to treat/prevent thrush. Both ladies just posted the giveways so get in there and get your name in the bag.
There is also another give away on Naturalmente Mama! She's got Plant Wise snack bags! That one will close on March 2nd. Here is the link: http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/planet-wise-bag-your-snack-stuff-resena.html
Parting ways with my pump
I have decided to stop pumping. I"m a bit sad about this decision. It means Audrey is growing up and that she has day weaned. She won't take milk from a bottle. She won't take it in a sippy cup. Bascially I was either freezing mlik or dumping it down the drain. Since I haven't found any local mommas in need there is no point to pumping. I've asked other moms and they seem to indicate that my supply should be fine. Audrey is still nursing at night and in the morning and sometimes at lunch but not always.
I am happy to be putting away the pump. No longer having to pump and eat or pump and work. The pump will be going into storage until the next baby. But I am also sad. My pump allowed me to keep breastfeeding my baby once I returned to work. It allowed me time to think since I had to stop and go pump. It also means that Audre is growing up. She wants water not milk. I know that she still loves momma milk since that is the first thing she'll ask for after her hug once I am in the door. I still get to snuggle and kiss while she is on the breast but she's growing up. My baby is a toddler and before I know it a little girl then you know the rest.
So good-bye pump. Thank you for helping me feed my baby. Thank you for helping me toward my breastfeeding goal. Thank you for time to focus on Audrey.
I am happy to be putting away the pump. No longer having to pump and eat or pump and work. The pump will be going into storage until the next baby. But I am also sad. My pump allowed me to keep breastfeeding my baby once I returned to work. It allowed me time to think since I had to stop and go pump. It also means that Audre is growing up. She wants water not milk. I know that she still loves momma milk since that is the first thing she'll ask for after her hug once I am in the door. I still get to snuggle and kiss while she is on the breast but she's growing up. My baby is a toddler and before I know it a little girl then you know the rest.
So good-bye pump. Thank you for helping me feed my baby. Thank you for helping me toward my breastfeeding goal. Thank you for time to focus on Audrey.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
How to win stuff
So I know alot of you have heard about moms that use to keep their families going by entering sweepstakes contest well you too can join in on the fun!
I myself have won boots from BearPaw shoes, flip-flops from FeelzGood shoes, green cleaning products from Green Irene and most recently Rockin' Green laundry soap from a momma blogger. So how do you do this? It's easy! You just got the contests and enter. Usually you have to go to a website and then come back and comment. Then you get extra chances by "liking" pages on Facebook, following certain people on Twitter, following blogs via Google friend connect and each blogger will add other ways to win.
It's easy and fun. I only enter contest for things I want but there are so many contests going on at once you could spend all day entering. It is hard to keep up!
So I'll give you a lead. A mommy-blogger who's blog I love even without giveways has a contest going on right now at Naturalmente Mama. It ends on Feb 17th but she has lots of ways to win and the first entry is super easy, just tell her how you plan to eat more whole-grains! I'll warn you she blogs in Spanish but she always lists her contests in both languages so don't get discouraged and head her way!
As I find more cool contests I'll try to blog them up. The best way to hear about contests is really Twitter. Just start following some momma bloggers and they'll post their contests as well as other bloggers contests up. Join in the winning!
Here is Maybelline's link again: http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/cereales-big-g-de-general-mills-sorteo.html
I myself have won boots from BearPaw shoes, flip-flops from FeelzGood shoes, green cleaning products from Green Irene and most recently Rockin' Green laundry soap from a momma blogger. So how do you do this? It's easy! You just got the contests and enter. Usually you have to go to a website and then come back and comment. Then you get extra chances by "liking" pages on Facebook, following certain people on Twitter, following blogs via Google friend connect and each blogger will add other ways to win.
It's easy and fun. I only enter contest for things I want but there are so many contests going on at once you could spend all day entering. It is hard to keep up!
So I'll give you a lead. A mommy-blogger who's blog I love even without giveways has a contest going on right now at Naturalmente Mama. It ends on Feb 17th but she has lots of ways to win and the first entry is super easy, just tell her how you plan to eat more whole-grains! I'll warn you she blogs in Spanish but she always lists her contests in both languages so don't get discouraged and head her way!
As I find more cool contests I'll try to blog them up. The best way to hear about contests is really Twitter. Just start following some momma bloggers and they'll post their contests as well as other bloggers contests up. Join in the winning!
Here is Maybelline's link again: http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/cereales-big-g-de-general-mills-sorteo.html
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Where have all the friends gone?
So back when I was Martha and not Audrey's mom, I had a tight circle of friends and one of the shows we loved to watch was Sex and the City. I loved the idea of moving to the city and going to cool places that were on the show and then I went to New York and realized that I'm such a small town girl it is not even funny. You couldn't even find the sun!
But anyways, I remember the episode after Miranda had her baby and her struggle to be a new mom and the isolation she felt since she was in a different place from her friends. I think it's been pretty clear thru my blogging that isolation is a pretty constant feeling in my life. It has seemed that since Audrey's birth, I stopped being Martha. I don't think I'll ever forget how alone I felt after Audrey's birth. People who promised to visit never came by and I know people were afraid to call since they were afraid to wake the baby. I was so overwhelmed with being a new mom that I didn't pick the phone up either.
But it did get better. I started back to work and go to see my "work friends" and then after a while I found the Triad Tot Totters. I finally felt like I had friends, people that understood me. The TTT's were truly a God-send. They are mommas who kinda had the same baby raising philosophy as me and they were people that I could meet up with. While I had found a very supportive on-line network of moms there is no substitute for meeting up with people in real-life. Leaving my new group of friends was the worst part of moving to Texas. It was the part that scared me the most. Could I ever find mommas like me in Deep East Texas?
I'm so happy that I have been able to find a group to hang with here. They are women that I've met thru La Leche League and again they are a God-send. After almost 8 months in Texas, I'm beginning to feel like I have friends. People that I can get together with and hang out. People that have babies for Audrey to play with.
But one problem I am still struggling with is balance and finding time for old friends. I get just a few minutes to play with my iPhone to tweet and facebook and keep up with friends but really they deserve better than that. The few friends that I have left deserve more attention than a few second tweet. It is so hard to find the time. When I blog it is usually a four day process via my iPhone app so it's not like there is really much time that I have just to email but I think the really problem is the phone. I hate talking on the phone! I hate calling people because it feels like I'm interrupting something important and if I make a plan to call someone then that will be the time that Audrey gets super needy. I feel like I'm in a new win situation. Thankfully since they are in fact friends, they understand and they deal with my negligent of them; they know I care but that I'm mostly an ass and a mom. They are the best and one day I'll have time and money to visit them all again. I miss living near my bestests friends but it is good to know that they have not left me, they have like always just learned to deal with me. Those "friends" that have fallen off have gone on to better friends, people who have time for them and their life, those true friends that are still around have taught me that patience and understanding are the building blocks of life-long friendship.
But anyways, I remember the episode after Miranda had her baby and her struggle to be a new mom and the isolation she felt since she was in a different place from her friends. I think it's been pretty clear thru my blogging that isolation is a pretty constant feeling in my life. It has seemed that since Audrey's birth, I stopped being Martha. I don't think I'll ever forget how alone I felt after Audrey's birth. People who promised to visit never came by and I know people were afraid to call since they were afraid to wake the baby. I was so overwhelmed with being a new mom that I didn't pick the phone up either.
But it did get better. I started back to work and go to see my "work friends" and then after a while I found the Triad Tot Totters. I finally felt like I had friends, people that understood me. The TTT's were truly a God-send. They are mommas who kinda had the same baby raising philosophy as me and they were people that I could meet up with. While I had found a very supportive on-line network of moms there is no substitute for meeting up with people in real-life. Leaving my new group of friends was the worst part of moving to Texas. It was the part that scared me the most. Could I ever find mommas like me in Deep East Texas?
I'm so happy that I have been able to find a group to hang with here. They are women that I've met thru La Leche League and again they are a God-send. After almost 8 months in Texas, I'm beginning to feel like I have friends. People that I can get together with and hang out. People that have babies for Audrey to play with.
But one problem I am still struggling with is balance and finding time for old friends. I get just a few minutes to play with my iPhone to tweet and facebook and keep up with friends but really they deserve better than that. The few friends that I have left deserve more attention than a few second tweet. It is so hard to find the time. When I blog it is usually a four day process via my iPhone app so it's not like there is really much time that I have just to email but I think the really problem is the phone. I hate talking on the phone! I hate calling people because it feels like I'm interrupting something important and if I make a plan to call someone then that will be the time that Audrey gets super needy. I feel like I'm in a new win situation. Thankfully since they are in fact friends, they understand and they deal with my negligent of them; they know I care but that I'm mostly an ass and a mom. They are the best and one day I'll have time and money to visit them all again. I miss living near my bestests friends but it is good to know that they have not left me, they have like always just learned to deal with me. Those "friends" that have fallen off have gone on to better friends, people who have time for them and their life, those true friends that are still around have taught me that patience and understanding are the building blocks of life-long friendship.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Cloth diapering on the cheap
I hear it all the time how can anyone afford to cloth diaper! Now that we've been cloth diapering for 8 months or so, I don't know how people afford not to! Of course, if you have to go to the laundramat cloth diapering might be too hard and expensive, once I got my own washer and dryer I started CDing.
Okay so yes CD can be expensive and starting the stash is the hard part. My stash is probably valued at around $500 or so but I have never bought a new diaper! That is the secret; buy used. Part of the power of CD is belief in the power of soap. I believe soap can clean poop therefore I can buy used and just wash the previous baby out!
Also start small. My stash started the three used CDs on which I spent $24 including shipping. No you won't be able to drop the disposibles right away but the point is to make the transition. I was able to make a good deal on three more CDs and then a friend gave me three more and that was the start is my CDs during the day and disposables at night. With such a small stash I has to wash everyday. But at that point I had spent $50 and I was CDing almost full-time. From there it was a matter of buying/lucking into a good deal on 6 more CDs and I kissed disposables good bye.
Yes it will take time and money but it can be done. I also used Tide Free and Clear to wash. I did finally break down and buy some Rocking Green detergent and I love it but again not necessary. You are going to buy detergent anyways just buy the Free and Clear stuff and dry in the sun.
Wet bags are another nice thing but I don't have one. I toss my dirty CDs in a box. Yep, just a plain cardboard box. I am cheap. Don't need the fancy bag. I also don't have a diaper sprayer. I just shake the diaper over the toilet and wash. If it is really bad I just scrape with some toilet paper. It's not glamourous; I'm cheap.
As to washing, with my current stash I can wash about twice a week. As your stash grows you can wash less. As your baby grows you use less. I still wash about every two days because my mom (who watches Audrey) prefers my GroBabies, which are the newest members of the stash and I only have four shells and six inserts. But I can handle it.
So in conclusion, I am cheap and even lazy and I cloth diaper. It won't happen overnight but you can do it. Diaperswapper.com and thebabywearer.com are excellent sites for find good used diapers on the cheap. Play with it, you will find that some diapers will work better than others. I have 7 different brands in my stash and use about two. Ask your friends that CD if you can borrow to see what fits your baby best. You are not alone and you can do this. It's just poop and you'll have to wipe it either way.
Okay so yes CD can be expensive and starting the stash is the hard part. My stash is probably valued at around $500 or so but I have never bought a new diaper! That is the secret; buy used. Part of the power of CD is belief in the power of soap. I believe soap can clean poop therefore I can buy used and just wash the previous baby out!
Also start small. My stash started the three used CDs on which I spent $24 including shipping. No you won't be able to drop the disposibles right away but the point is to make the transition. I was able to make a good deal on three more CDs and then a friend gave me three more and that was the start is my CDs during the day and disposables at night. With such a small stash I has to wash everyday. But at that point I had spent $50 and I was CDing almost full-time. From there it was a matter of buying/lucking into a good deal on 6 more CDs and I kissed disposables good bye.
Yes it will take time and money but it can be done. I also used Tide Free and Clear to wash. I did finally break down and buy some Rocking Green detergent and I love it but again not necessary. You are going to buy detergent anyways just buy the Free and Clear stuff and dry in the sun.
Wet bags are another nice thing but I don't have one. I toss my dirty CDs in a box. Yep, just a plain cardboard box. I am cheap. Don't need the fancy bag. I also don't have a diaper sprayer. I just shake the diaper over the toilet and wash. If it is really bad I just scrape with some toilet paper. It's not glamourous; I'm cheap.
As to washing, with my current stash I can wash about twice a week. As your stash grows you can wash less. As your baby grows you use less. I still wash about every two days because my mom (who watches Audrey) prefers my GroBabies, which are the newest members of the stash and I only have four shells and six inserts. But I can handle it.
So in conclusion, I am cheap and even lazy and I cloth diaper. It won't happen overnight but you can do it. Diaperswapper.com and thebabywearer.com are excellent sites for find good used diapers on the cheap. Play with it, you will find that some diapers will work better than others. I have 7 different brands in my stash and use about two. Ask your friends that CD if you can borrow to see what fits your baby best. You are not alone and you can do this. It's just poop and you'll have to wipe it either way.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Living the wheat-free life
So far living wheat-free is not as horrible as it was when DH tried to go wheat-free back in 2004. The number one thing was the discovery of Udi's bread. I love sandwiches and the finding of a decent wheat-free bread has been a God-send! I'm still working on finding pizza.
I don't want Audrey to grow-up feeling like she is missing out. Being wheat-free shouldn't be some sort of horrible sentence. I'm finding that gluten-free items are getting better and easier to find. I've also found that finding people who are also wheat-free is so helpful. It's amazing how much easier it seems when you can ask someone for advice.
It has been great for my waistline! I've lost about 30 lbs post baby. I thinkn some of it was breastfeeding but the other part has been the diet change. One thing I haven't done is see a dietitian for advice but I figure as long as Audrey is growing then we are okay. Breastmilk is prefect food even when we don't eat perfectly.
I don't want Audrey to grow-up feeling like she is missing out. Being wheat-free shouldn't be some sort of horrible sentence. I'm finding that gluten-free items are getting better and easier to find. I've also found that finding people who are also wheat-free is so helpful. It's amazing how much easier it seems when you can ask someone for advice.
It has been great for my waistline! I've lost about 30 lbs post baby. I thinkn some of it was breastfeeding but the other part has been the diet change. One thing I haven't done is see a dietitian for advice but I figure as long as Audrey is growing then we are okay. Breastmilk is prefect food even when we don't eat perfectly.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Does she sleep thru the night?
No she does not. That is the answer to the number one question I'm being asked at the moment. Does she thru the night, yet? Since Audrey doesn't sleep thur the night that means I don't sleep thur the night either but I'm surprisingly ok with that.
I recently read an article featuring my new hero Mayim Bialik where she mentioned embracing the lack of sleep. It is in the fighting that we can turn it into a negativity. She also mentioned finding support and/or a supportive group. She is so right! I don't mind the lack of sleep; I know it is part of motherhood. I'm also so on the whole find support thing. I love my La Leche League group and miss my babywearing group from Greensboro. All moms need a group to turn to for support; this is especially true of us crunchier moms since we are usually the only crunchies we even know. Thank God for the internet! I highly recommend TheBabywearer.com and the mother of the crunchy boards Mothering.com. We are not as alone as we feel.
So back to sleeping, the measure of a good mom is not how long your baby sleeps at night. Every baby is different and Doctor so and so's plan may not be right for you and your baby. So embrace your sleep whether you get 2 hours or 8 and forget the advice of those that go against your instincts.
I recently read an article featuring my new hero Mayim Bialik where she mentioned embracing the lack of sleep. It is in the fighting that we can turn it into a negativity. She also mentioned finding support and/or a supportive group. She is so right! I don't mind the lack of sleep; I know it is part of motherhood. I'm also so on the whole find support thing. I love my La Leche League group and miss my babywearing group from Greensboro. All moms need a group to turn to for support; this is especially true of us crunchier moms since we are usually the only crunchies we even know. Thank God for the internet! I highly recommend TheBabywearer.com and the mother of the crunchy boards Mothering.com. We are not as alone as we feel.
So back to sleeping, the measure of a good mom is not how long your baby sleeps at night. Every baby is different and Doctor so and so's plan may not be right for you and your baby. So embrace your sleep whether you get 2 hours or 8 and forget the advice of those that go against your instincts.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Dogs a better class of people
That is my friend, Bill's, saying. Dogs are a better class of people. Yesterday we got horrible news that a friend's dog has been hit by a car and killed. That friend had raised that dog since he was like 8 weeks old. That dog was like a child, a first born.
I know there are people who think a dog is a dog is a dog. For me and my friends, our dogs have been like children. I know that I would not be half the mom I am today if Snoopy and Jasmin, my two dogs, had not started me on the path to being a mom.
I was self-fish, self-centered, and pretty thought-less when it came to others. I never really owed anybody anything. DH accepted me for me so I didn't really have a need to change and then Snoopy entered my life. Gone were the days of just running to NC for the weekend. I had a dog, a dependent, to think about. Martha before dogs and Martha after really are different Marthas.
So make fun if you must. My first child has four legs and so does my second. My third baby loves the first two and they love her back. We are a happy family of five so yes I would mourn my dog as a child; they made me a mom. So today I have K in my thoughts and prayers because she lost a child, a furry four-legged (well three-legged in Dig's case) child and she is in pain. So dogs are a better class of people, thank you B for reminding me.
I know there are people who think a dog is a dog is a dog. For me and my friends, our dogs have been like children. I know that I would not be half the mom I am today if Snoopy and Jasmin, my two dogs, had not started me on the path to being a mom.
I was self-fish, self-centered, and pretty thought-less when it came to others. I never really owed anybody anything. DH accepted me for me so I didn't really have a need to change and then Snoopy entered my life. Gone were the days of just running to NC for the weekend. I had a dog, a dependent, to think about. Martha before dogs and Martha after really are different Marthas.
So make fun if you must. My first child has four legs and so does my second. My third baby loves the first two and they love her back. We are a happy family of five so yes I would mourn my dog as a child; they made me a mom. So today I have K in my thoughts and prayers because she lost a child, a furry four-legged (well three-legged in Dig's case) child and she is in pain. So dogs are a better class of people, thank you B for reminding me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Bubba connection
So Audrey has a new word! It's Bubba! Do you know what Bubba is? It means BOOB! Despite my efforts to get her to say 'milks' for nursing time, she has chosen the word Bubba. I guess it could be worse. She could in fact yell Boob when she is hungry. So we are just going to roll with it. She even asked in her sleep for Bubba instead of just signaling. She is growing up quick!
I also think she is learning to play with language a bit. DH and I sometimes call nursing time Boobs and my mother say Vaca. I think decided if she combined the two everyone would understand! We'll see what her next word is. I bet it will be another combo.
I also think she is learning to play with language a bit. DH and I sometimes call nursing time Boobs and my mother say Vaca. I think decided if she combined the two everyone would understand! We'll see what her next word is. I bet it will be another combo.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Vaccines
So with all of the new information on the vaccine/autism link or lack thereof plus Audrey's 1 year old doc appointment vaccines have been on my mind. I'm thinking I might have to turn in my crunchy card after this post but we'll see.
I am in favor of vaccines. Before you judge let me explain. I am a delay-vaxer. DH is also in favor of delayed vaxing. I think to some extent we are select vaxers. The doctor is trying to convince us that we should do the vax for chicken pox, so far we are not buying it.
I am in favor of vaccines because they can keep kids safe. I don't want Audrey to suffer from a preventable disease like polio. I don't want to look back and see that I could have saved her life with a shot. I know the likelihood of coming across a person with polio and then Audrey contracting it are small but the chance is there. While I don't normally go with the medical establishment, I have to say that some vaccines are good. Are all the vaccines necessary? I'm thinking no and I don't like the schedule at all. But for our family, some vaccines with extra spacing and time in-between (and not in combo) is right. I also think that since I work with the public with alot of recent arrivals from other countries not having vaccines is just taking a risk.
I am in favor of vaccines. Before you judge let me explain. I am a delay-vaxer. DH is also in favor of delayed vaxing. I think to some extent we are select vaxers. The doctor is trying to convince us that we should do the vax for chicken pox, so far we are not buying it.
I am in favor of vaccines because they can keep kids safe. I don't want Audrey to suffer from a preventable disease like polio. I don't want to look back and see that I could have saved her life with a shot. I know the likelihood of coming across a person with polio and then Audrey contracting it are small but the chance is there. While I don't normally go with the medical establishment, I have to say that some vaccines are good. Are all the vaccines necessary? I'm thinking no and I don't like the schedule at all. But for our family, some vaccines with extra spacing and time in-between (and not in combo) is right. I also think that since I work with the public with alot of recent arrivals from other countries not having vaccines is just taking a risk.
Friday, December 31, 2010
What I have learned this year . . .
This has been a hard year but a year full of lessons. I've grown as a woman as I've learned to be a mother. I've lost my rose-colored glasses but am wiser. I've lost a friend but I'm grateful for the ones in my life.
I feel like my lesson this year was to be grateful. Grateful for each moment. Life is short and my next moment is not promised. I won't let this lesson go. I'll hold it next to my heart always.
Even when I'm tried from lack of sleep. Even when I'm exhausted and my daughter wants to play instead of sleep. Even when I want sex but am too tired, I know I'm blessed. God has blessed me in so many ways.
Do I have money? No. Am I in lots of debt? Yes. Do I have a car built in this century? No. Do I own my own house? No. Am I happy? Yes. Am I healthy? Yes. Am I in love with my husband of 9 years? Yes. Is my daughter the light of my life? Yes.
God has blessed me in so many ways and I've really learned to be grateful for all of this. Life is good.
I feel like my lesson this year was to be grateful. Grateful for each moment. Life is short and my next moment is not promised. I won't let this lesson go. I'll hold it next to my heart always.
Even when I'm tried from lack of sleep. Even when I'm exhausted and my daughter wants to play instead of sleep. Even when I want sex but am too tired, I know I'm blessed. God has blessed me in so many ways.
Do I have money? No. Am I in lots of debt? Yes. Do I have a car built in this century? No. Do I own my own house? No. Am I happy? Yes. Am I healthy? Yes. Am I in love with my husband of 9 years? Yes. Is my daughter the light of my life? Yes.
God has blessed me in so many ways and I've really learned to be grateful for all of this. Life is good.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Late Wordless Wednesday: From Start to now
 |
| Audrey's first day and right after her second time on the breast. |
 |
| This is Miss Audrey's official birthday picture. I can't believe she's one! |
Thursday, December 16, 2010
48 hours and . . .
So at 6pm Wed Dec 16, I was offically 48 hrs post water breaking. It was time for some decision to be made. So far the baby was doing well and I was doing just fine. I had had a few false starts to a full on active labor. Tuesday from 12 am -2 am had me walking the floor and watching Love Actually just knowing that Bud was going to be born on Dec 16th. No such luck, labor stopped and I headed to bed.
Apparently I was the talk of the school Christmas party. There was much debate if my waiting at home instead of heading to the hospital was really a good idea. I think there were a couple of times that some of my friends actually threaten to forcible take me. But we decided to trust Debbie and to trust Bud.
Debbie was over at the house at about 6pm and talked to us. As long as everyone was doing well and resting we could just stay at home and wait. If I couldn't handle it anymore or if infection set in then we had to head to the hospital. She left a doppler with us so we could check the baby's heartbeat. Anything weird, any signs of stress and we were to head to the hospital. I think my labor really started during that visit. There were several times that I had to get onto my knees and breath thur the contractions.
I knew that even if my labor was really starting that there was no point to panic and for all of us to get to sleep if we could. Debbie headed home. We headed to bed at 9pm to sleep. I was so tired and ready for a good nights rest. Baby Bud had a different plan . . .
Apparently I was the talk of the school Christmas party. There was much debate if my waiting at home instead of heading to the hospital was really a good idea. I think there were a couple of times that some of my friends actually threaten to forcible take me. But we decided to trust Debbie and to trust Bud.
Debbie was over at the house at about 6pm and talked to us. As long as everyone was doing well and resting we could just stay at home and wait. If I couldn't handle it anymore or if infection set in then we had to head to the hospital. She left a doppler with us so we could check the baby's heartbeat. Anything weird, any signs of stress and we were to head to the hospital. I think my labor really started during that visit. There were several times that I had to get onto my knees and breath thur the contractions.
I knew that even if my labor was really starting that there was no point to panic and for all of us to get to sleep if we could. Debbie headed home. We headed to bed at 9pm to sleep. I was so tired and ready for a good nights rest. Baby Bud had a different plan . . .
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
24 hours and
Okay so at the 24 hour point after my water broke I have to admit I was worried. I wasn't in pain. I had had just a few contractions but nothing that would make me think I was about to have a baby. I had a doctor's appointment in the morning and I knew if I went in I would end up on pitocen.
24 hours seems to be the thresh hold for broken bag of waters. At least that is what I thought. Debbie our midwife said that as long as no infection set in then I could just wait for Bud to come on out on Bud's schedule. So I called the doctor, cancelled the appointment and waited. Oh yea and she confinded me to my house, to lessen the chance of infection. Nothing left to do but rest and wait and listen everyone try to talk me into going to the hospital.
24 hours seems to be the thresh hold for broken bag of waters. At least that is what I thought. Debbie our midwife said that as long as no infection set in then I could just wait for Bud to come on out on Bud's schedule. So I called the doctor, cancelled the appointment and waited. Oh yea and she confinded me to my house, to lessen the chance of infection. Nothing left to do but rest and wait and listen everyone try to talk me into going to the hospital.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
how it all started/ended
So today at 6 pm EST one year ago my water broke. Did I panic? Did I head to the hospital? Nope I headed to Target! God what was I thinking?
So I was all of 37 weeks and a days and I was headed to Target to finish getting ready for the baby. I figured I still had a good two weeks and I had just been on the monitors at the hospital that morning and outside of a sleeping baby that won't move for the monitors everything was good. DH got home and we were headed to Target to finish getting things for the birth, waterhose and the such. I got up and headed to the bathroom and as soon as I stepped on the bathroom floor, I felt gush of water!
I didn't panic. I called DH and told him that my water broke call the midwife! Little did I know it would 60 hours before Bud showed her face to world and became Audrey,
So I was all of 37 weeks and a days and I was headed to Target to finish getting ready for the baby. I figured I still had a good two weeks and I had just been on the monitors at the hospital that morning and outside of a sleeping baby that won't move for the monitors everything was good. DH got home and we were headed to Target to finish getting things for the birth, waterhose and the such. I got up and headed to the bathroom and as soon as I stepped on the bathroom floor, I felt gush of water!
I didn't panic. I called DH and told him that my water broke call the midwife! Little did I know it would 60 hours before Bud showed her face to world and became Audrey,
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Sons
Okay so I have a daughter but I still want a son. I was so convinced that I was going to have a boy! I love my Audrey and God knew what he was doing since DH and I are currently at battle over circumcision. Before joining the world of parents, I never thought too much about to cut or not to cut. As far as I knew circumcision was what you did. But now that I'm a mom and member of the crunchy community, I've started to change my mind on the whole circumcision debate.
I've talked to DH about it. Why do we need to cut? Research shows you don't need to do it. We are born perfect so why chop off something immediately? He comes down the the side of cut. He has known many men that have had issues later in life and had to be circumcised in their teen years. He argues that we should do it while our son is a baby and won't remember anything. It is better to get it done now or our son will pay for it later.
I understand that argument. I should spare my child the pain of a adult circumcision and just do it while he is small but does every man have a problem with their uncircumcised penis? I would think as a man of science that DH would do more research and come back to the question of circumcision but he has his mind set. If we have a son then we will cut. I want a son but I know the birth of a son would about world war three in my marriage.
I can't image allowing someone to come in and cut on my son for no reason other than in the future he might could have an issue. It feels like we should just got ahead and chop Audrey's breast buds off cause in the future she might develop breast cancer. Or better yet lets not have anymore children since in the future they might be serial killers or work for the government. A lot can happen in the future. Why cause my child pain now? Why allow for my son to be scarred for the rest of his life for something that might or might not happen? Why not let nature takes it's course and if in the future my son needs a circumcision then we'll deal with it then? Not sure what to do on this one.
I've talked to DH about it. Why do we need to cut? Research shows you don't need to do it. We are born perfect so why chop off something immediately? He comes down the the side of cut. He has known many men that have had issues later in life and had to be circumcised in their teen years. He argues that we should do it while our son is a baby and won't remember anything. It is better to get it done now or our son will pay for it later.
I understand that argument. I should spare my child the pain of a adult circumcision and just do it while he is small but does every man have a problem with their uncircumcised penis? I would think as a man of science that DH would do more research and come back to the question of circumcision but he has his mind set. If we have a son then we will cut. I want a son but I know the birth of a son would about world war three in my marriage.
I can't image allowing someone to come in and cut on my son for no reason other than in the future he might could have an issue. It feels like we should just got ahead and chop Audrey's breast buds off cause in the future she might develop breast cancer. Or better yet lets not have anymore children since in the future they might be serial killers or work for the government. A lot can happen in the future. Why cause my child pain now? Why allow for my son to be scarred for the rest of his life for something that might or might not happen? Why not let nature takes it's course and if in the future my son needs a circumcision then we'll deal with it then? Not sure what to do on this one.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Christmas do over
So we are coming up on Audrey's first birthday, which is 7 days before Christmas. So this won't be her first Christmas. But I want a do-over! Her first Christmas was spent running from the NICU to the local hospital. It should have been fun and full of love not spent under a bili-light! We were unhappy last Christmas. We had a beautiful baby girl and had a wonderful homebirth only to end up in the hospital anyways! To make matters worse, we had lost our heat when after Audrey's birth out boiler caught fire. Audrey was the only reason we got out of the house. She was less than a day old and she saved us!
But back to Christmas, there aren't any baby's second Christmas shirts and cute outfits to celebrate the happiness around bring with our family for the first time in like 5 years. I don't think Audrey will remember this Christmas either but I know I will. I'll get to hold my baby while celebrating Christmas with my mom and dad and the in-laws. It won't be her first and maybe won't be her bestest ever but I can't wait to open presents with her on Christmas day.
But back to Christmas, there aren't any baby's second Christmas shirts and cute outfits to celebrate the happiness around bring with our family for the first time in like 5 years. I don't think Audrey will remember this Christmas either but I know I will. I'll get to hold my baby while celebrating Christmas with my mom and dad and the in-laws. It won't be her first and maybe won't be her bestest ever but I can't wait to open presents with her on Christmas day.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I'm a bad mom and just little late to the crunch party
Okay so the bad mom thing. Tuesday I took Audrey to the doctor. I had to run to pick her up and then run to doctor's office. There was no time for lunch. After a good doctor's visit (I think we have finally found a decent doctor!), I was starving and needed to return to work so I decided to eat on the run. It is almost impossible to eat on the run and be wheat-free. I broke down and bought a hamburger. To be very honest it was so good! I have missed bread and sandwich items the most. Audrey did okay that night. Her eczema did flare up but no screaming! I got lucky and then I got stupid.
My mom made homemade flour tortillas on Friday. It had been like 4 years since I had had my mom's tortillas! I had to have one. What could one little tortilla do? God did I pay for that tortilla. I let Audrey have a bite, literally one baby bite, of a tortilla and ate the rest. Audrey was a bit sluggish that day but nothing too extreme but that night. DH and I put Audrey to bed but as DH rocked her Audrey began to scream. She was asleep but would suddenly scream. My poor baby was in pain from the wheat. I had honestly forgotten just how bad the allergy reaction is. Once Audrey was finally able to rest, DH had to hold me while I cried. I am a bad mom. I know the allergy is there and I know that I have to be wheat-free but I ate it anyways. She was in pain because of me. That is the definition of a bad mom.
On another topic, I finally made and am using cloth wipes! I found a great deal on french terry cloth at Hobby Lobby, 50% off! So I bought 2 yards and cut my wipes out, so far I have made 26 and still have 8 more to make. They are 6X9 with the wrong sides sewn together. They were super easy to make and I found a great site for wipe solutions and mixed up a batch of Lavender 'n' Tea Tree. For once Audrey isn't running from the changing table. We are using them to clean her face too. So far so good! I'll keep you posted.
My mom made homemade flour tortillas on Friday. It had been like 4 years since I had had my mom's tortillas! I had to have one. What could one little tortilla do? God did I pay for that tortilla. I let Audrey have a bite, literally one baby bite, of a tortilla and ate the rest. Audrey was a bit sluggish that day but nothing too extreme but that night. DH and I put Audrey to bed but as DH rocked her Audrey began to scream. She was asleep but would suddenly scream. My poor baby was in pain from the wheat. I had honestly forgotten just how bad the allergy reaction is. Once Audrey was finally able to rest, DH had to hold me while I cried. I am a bad mom. I know the allergy is there and I know that I have to be wheat-free but I ate it anyways. She was in pain because of me. That is the definition of a bad mom.
On another topic, I finally made and am using cloth wipes! I found a great deal on french terry cloth at Hobby Lobby, 50% off! So I bought 2 yards and cut my wipes out, so far I have made 26 and still have 8 more to make. They are 6X9 with the wrong sides sewn together. They were super easy to make and I found a great site for wipe solutions and mixed up a batch of Lavender 'n' Tea Tree. For once Audrey isn't running from the changing table. We are using them to clean her face too. So far so good! I'll keep you posted.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
So I just read a book that changed the way I look at breastfeeding. Once I started it, it was hard to put it down. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League was just such an excellent read and had so much information about being a mom. Totally didn't expect all the tips on child raising and child birthing.
So I'm not writing to promote the book for anyone. I'm not being paid for my opinion just sharing, like I always do. After the read, I really wish I had read the previous edition BEFORE I had Audrey. So many things I would have known off the bat instead of learning the hard way.
But the thing that has blown my mind was something that the book said early on. The book points out that there are NO BENEFITS to breastfeeding! All the research starts with the breastfed baby at the experiment. The formula fed baby as the control. If you reverse that and make the breastfed baby the control, which he/she should be since breastfeeding the natural/normal way to feed a child then instead of benefits to breastfeeding we would be talking about the dangers of formula. The things that formula fed babies lack rather than the benefits of breastfeeding. Being that DH is a scientist, you would think I would have looked at the research more careful and found the control and thus the correct conclusion myself but I totally see everything different now. EVERY DROP COUNTS! I just don't think I'll every look at baby-feeding research the same way. Audrey is the normal not the experiment. She's not big for her age. She is what a normal fucking baby should be. Gerber has no clue what a normal baby is. That Gerber baby is being denied his right to nature's perfect food.
This realization also makes me very sad for the babies who have no choice but to have formula. Baby J comes to mind. B was so looking forward to breastfeeding Baby J and giving her the best start possible. Formula has its place. Not all moms make it thur to hold and raise their babies. Not all babies are born at 9 months ready to latch. Some moms are breast cancer survivors and have no way to make milk. I wish we could make milk bank for babies in need that are affordable. I hope that more moms that can breastfeed will breastfeed if even for just a few days. Every drop counts.
So I'm not writing to promote the book for anyone. I'm not being paid for my opinion just sharing, like I always do. After the read, I really wish I had read the previous edition BEFORE I had Audrey. So many things I would have known off the bat instead of learning the hard way.
But the thing that has blown my mind was something that the book said early on. The book points out that there are NO BENEFITS to breastfeeding! All the research starts with the breastfed baby at the experiment. The formula fed baby as the control. If you reverse that and make the breastfed baby the control, which he/she should be since breastfeeding the natural/normal way to feed a child then instead of benefits to breastfeeding we would be talking about the dangers of formula. The things that formula fed babies lack rather than the benefits of breastfeeding. Being that DH is a scientist, you would think I would have looked at the research more careful and found the control and thus the correct conclusion myself but I totally see everything different now. EVERY DROP COUNTS! I just don't think I'll every look at baby-feeding research the same way. Audrey is the normal not the experiment. She's not big for her age. She is what a normal fucking baby should be. Gerber has no clue what a normal baby is. That Gerber baby is being denied his right to nature's perfect food.
This realization also makes me very sad for the babies who have no choice but to have formula. Baby J comes to mind. B was so looking forward to breastfeeding Baby J and giving her the best start possible. Formula has its place. Not all moms make it thur to hold and raise their babies. Not all babies are born at 9 months ready to latch. Some moms are breast cancer survivors and have no way to make milk. I wish we could make milk bank for babies in need that are affordable. I hope that more moms that can breastfeed will breastfeed if even for just a few days. Every drop counts.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Things I never thought I would do but . . .
Audrey has taught me so much that now I just do them. So here is the list in no particular order:
1. Talk about poop, alot!
2. Use cloth diapers
3. Talk very freely about breastfeeding and encourage other woman to get their boobs out
4. Look for shirts that allow for easy boob access
5. Want to delay vax
6. Bedshare/co-sleep
7. Have to stop myself from grabbing crying babies so that I can give them boob
8. Hate disposable diapers
9. Not own a stroller/wear my baby
10. Not buy baby food
11. Describe labor as not that bad
12. Wash cloth diapers/rinse poop off of a diaper (see what I mean about the poop)
13. Describe myself as crunchy/granola/counterculture
14. Have a sidecar/know what the hate a sidecar is
15. Still have my placenta in the freezer (actually be thinking about consuming after the next birth!)
16. Try to EC/know what the hell EC is
17. Think that travel systems are from the devil
18. Go wheat-free
19. Loath a Baby Story for distorting the true about birth/yell at TV OB for causing a C-section
20. Cry over losing a friend in childbirth/Cry with a friend over the loss of a baby
I've learned a lot over the last nearly 11-month since Audrey's birth. I can't wait to see what else she has in store for me. I can't wait to see if God has more babies in store for me. Mother is quite the adventure and I would hate to think I won't have at least one more to learn from.
1. Talk about poop, alot!
2. Use cloth diapers
3. Talk very freely about breastfeeding and encourage other woman to get their boobs out
4. Look for shirts that allow for easy boob access
5. Want to delay vax
6. Bedshare/co-sleep
7. Have to stop myself from grabbing crying babies so that I can give them boob
8. Hate disposable diapers
9. Not own a stroller/wear my baby
10. Not buy baby food
11. Describe labor as not that bad
12. Wash cloth diapers/rinse poop off of a diaper (see what I mean about the poop)
13. Describe myself as crunchy/granola/counterculture
14. Have a sidecar/know what the hate a sidecar is
15. Still have my placenta in the freezer (actually be thinking about consuming after the next birth!)
16. Try to EC/know what the hell EC is
17. Think that travel systems are from the devil
18. Go wheat-free
19. Loath a Baby Story for distorting the true about birth/yell at TV OB for causing a C-section
20. Cry over losing a friend in childbirth/Cry with a friend over the loss of a baby
I've learned a lot over the last nearly 11-month since Audrey's birth. I can't wait to see what else she has in store for me. I can't wait to see if God has more babies in store for me. Mother is quite the adventure and I would hate to think I won't have at least one more to learn from.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Lactivist leanings
So why do I still breastfeed after 10 months? I remember watching a show a long time ago, maybe Oprah or something similar, and it featured a breastfeeding mother. She said that she was so thankful for breastfeeding because it allowed her to discover her child's allergies. She could eat only boiled white rice and plain boiled chicken. If she ate anything else her child would react. I can't even image having to go to that extreme! But it always stuck with me the power of breastfeeding. The baby eats what I eat. I can control what I eat. Similac, Nestle, Target don't get to feed my baby whatever is in their factory.
I wonder how Audrey would be different if I formula fed. I'll never forget that realization that wheat was the issue. How different she was after I cut out the wheat. How much happier she was. What if I had chosen formula? I would have just thought she was a colicly baby, a fussy baby, a baby that no one could make happy. How wrong would I have been? I know that I"m lucky to know that wheat could be a problem. DH has an allergy so I knew to be on the look out. I hate to think of all of the people who never get a diagnoses and just suffer. I hate to think of all of the suffering moms and babies. I can't even image how hard it would be to have child that can't be comforted.
So I breastfeed 'cause frankly I'm a control freak. I need to know what my child is eating. I can control my mouth so I can control her diet. I breastfeed 'cause it is the best thing for Audrey. She's a happy healthy baby. Sure I'm off wheat til she weans but what is a few years without bread when I can see her happy and thriving.
There are other women that may need help, who may need a helping hand, and who just need to know that breastfeeding is normal. So I want to be there for them. I want to be their support. So the journey begins, how am I going to help women?
I wonder how Audrey would be different if I formula fed. I'll never forget that realization that wheat was the issue. How different she was after I cut out the wheat. How much happier she was. What if I had chosen formula? I would have just thought she was a colicly baby, a fussy baby, a baby that no one could make happy. How wrong would I have been? I know that I"m lucky to know that wheat could be a problem. DH has an allergy so I knew to be on the look out. I hate to think of all of the people who never get a diagnoses and just suffer. I hate to think of all of the suffering moms and babies. I can't even image how hard it would be to have child that can't be comforted.
So I breastfeed 'cause frankly I'm a control freak. I need to know what my child is eating. I can control my mouth so I can control her diet. I breastfeed 'cause it is the best thing for Audrey. She's a happy healthy baby. Sure I'm off wheat til she weans but what is a few years without bread when I can see her happy and thriving.
There are other women that may need help, who may need a helping hand, and who just need to know that breastfeeding is normal. So I want to be there for them. I want to be their support. So the journey begins, how am I going to help women?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wordless Wednesday - Baby Chili
She is in a chili pot. Dad thought it would be funny. Audrey doesn't seem amused. She tried to escape.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I'm learning to use Twitter. I'm actually having fun. There are so many neat moms on there. So anyways, this is a short blog post. Just saying that I'm doing the twitter thing. You can follow me at @hollinsgirl7
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Getting over the American dream
So I bought the dream the whole damn hamburgs worth. You know the one, where you buy the house, have the dogs, have the new car, have debt to your ears and don't bother to save. I did it. I thought at the time that it meant I was a real American. I was finally an American. Growing up Mexican in American in the 80s meant alot of name calling and taunting from both sides. I was never enough of either so I picked one and went for it.
It's funny how you gain perspective after you have a child. It's not about me. It's about doing the best for Audrey. So that means paying off bills. First things first, we lost the house then we moved to Texas so I had to give up my wonderful job and just last night they repoed the car. I'm not upset. Audrey is healthy and happy. I have everything I need. God has blessed me. So I give. No more American dream now I just want to focus on Audrey. If that makes me unAmerican then screw it, we'll move to Africa and hang with the !Kung. I wonder how long it would take for me to learn that language?
It's funny how you gain perspective after you have a child. It's not about me. It's about doing the best for Audrey. So that means paying off bills. First things first, we lost the house then we moved to Texas so I had to give up my wonderful job and just last night they repoed the car. I'm not upset. Audrey is healthy and happy. I have everything I need. God has blessed me. So I give. No more American dream now I just want to focus on Audrey. If that makes me unAmerican then screw it, we'll move to Africa and hang with the !Kung. I wonder how long it would take for me to learn that language?
Sunday, October 10, 2010
!Kung babies
Okay so DH and I were talking today about our parenting style and the job we are doing with Audrey. It was all prompted by a bad trip to the Dairy Queen after which both DH and Audrey got unintended wheat exposure. Audrey suffer alot for our lack of research. Lesson learned!
But anyways, but to !Kung babies. As part of this talk, DH reminded me of a time when we were back in high school, about 17 or so and he told me all about the way the !Kung people of Africa raised their children. He was very impressed that they would put their babies on their backs and go on about their day. I remember looking at him and saying that is crazy and I'll never do that! Famous last words since of course I'm all into babywearing. I toss Audrey on my back and move about my day.
I think the funny part is that I had shot the idea down without knowing anything about it. It makes me so glad that I was 30 before I had children. I was a stupid teenage and I don't think I would have been any better as a mom at in my 20s. Having lived a little and met so many people has allowed my world to expand and for me to research and get to see the best practices of baby/child rearing.
DH was saying today that he can totally see what that article the !Kung meant about babywearing and raising. I think part of the reason I laughed it off back in the day was his whole love of the idea of a baby that can face down a lion. That was his whole reason for wanting to raise a !Kung baby, so it can face down a lion! But I understand it know. Audrey is confident and happy. She is a little too fearless for my taste. She climbs on top of boxes and stands up. She climbs to the edge of the bed to peek over and manages to just hold on and not fall over. She crawls right into the middle of our dogs playing and expects them to part and they do! I honestly think she could face down a lion. It's kind of incredible.
Without meaning to I'm raising a !Kung baby. I'm raising a confident woman that can face down lions. I think DH was right, the !Kungs have it going on! Well played DH. I guess I finally have to put a mark in your "WAS RIGHT" column.
But anyways, but to !Kung babies. As part of this talk, DH reminded me of a time when we were back in high school, about 17 or so and he told me all about the way the !Kung people of Africa raised their children. He was very impressed that they would put their babies on their backs and go on about their day. I remember looking at him and saying that is crazy and I'll never do that! Famous last words since of course I'm all into babywearing. I toss Audrey on my back and move about my day.
I think the funny part is that I had shot the idea down without knowing anything about it. It makes me so glad that I was 30 before I had children. I was a stupid teenage and I don't think I would have been any better as a mom at in my 20s. Having lived a little and met so many people has allowed my world to expand and for me to research and get to see the best practices of baby/child rearing.
DH was saying today that he can totally see what that article the !Kung meant about babywearing and raising. I think part of the reason I laughed it off back in the day was his whole love of the idea of a baby that can face down a lion. That was his whole reason for wanting to raise a !Kung baby, so it can face down a lion! But I understand it know. Audrey is confident and happy. She is a little too fearless for my taste. She climbs on top of boxes and stands up. She climbs to the edge of the bed to peek over and manages to just hold on and not fall over. She crawls right into the middle of our dogs playing and expects them to part and they do! I honestly think she could face down a lion. It's kind of incredible.
Without meaning to I'm raising a !Kung baby. I'm raising a confident woman that can face down lions. I think DH was right, the !Kungs have it going on! Well played DH. I guess I finally have to put a mark in your "WAS RIGHT" column.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Big plans for a little baby
So Audrey is all of 9 months old but already people are asking about her birthday. What are you going to do? Where are you going to have her party?
I am unsure of how to handle this. She is going to be a year old. She doesn't really have friends so who do you invite? This lack of friends is beginning to be a problem for Audrey. She wants to interact with other kids. She wants to do this during mass, not exactly the best time. I took her to my aunt's house so she could play with my cousin's son. He was willing to play but he is about 5 months old and got tired of waiting for Audrey to get going. But at least she met someone new.
I want her to have friends. I don't want to hold her back from becoming the social butterfly she seems to want to be but how do I get her new friends when I don't have any here? Either I'm finding moms who stay at home and therefore have daytime playdates or it's women with no children. I really am at a loss. I know part of the reason I'm holding back on making/finding local friends is that I have one foot out of the door. The plan is to move to Austin in a couple of years so that Ray can work on his PhD. Once I decided to stop planning for the future I know I'll find people but I just don't want to. The last time I finally let my guard down and starting looking for friends, I found group of incredible woman (the Triad Tot Totters). They were wonderful and I could relate to them and we could hang but then as soon as I found them we moved to Texas. So I"m a little gunshy. I want friends, I hate being by myself all day but I'm making friends just to leave them. What is the best thing for Audrey? I know the answer is to get off my ass and find some friends so I guess that is my next task. Anyone in the deep East Texas area want to hang?
I am unsure of how to handle this. She is going to be a year old. She doesn't really have friends so who do you invite? This lack of friends is beginning to be a problem for Audrey. She wants to interact with other kids. She wants to do this during mass, not exactly the best time. I took her to my aunt's house so she could play with my cousin's son. He was willing to play but he is about 5 months old and got tired of waiting for Audrey to get going. But at least she met someone new.
I want her to have friends. I don't want to hold her back from becoming the social butterfly she seems to want to be but how do I get her new friends when I don't have any here? Either I'm finding moms who stay at home and therefore have daytime playdates or it's women with no children. I really am at a loss. I know part of the reason I'm holding back on making/finding local friends is that I have one foot out of the door. The plan is to move to Austin in a couple of years so that Ray can work on his PhD. Once I decided to stop planning for the future I know I'll find people but I just don't want to. The last time I finally let my guard down and starting looking for friends, I found group of incredible woman (the Triad Tot Totters). They were wonderful and I could relate to them and we could hang but then as soon as I found them we moved to Texas. So I"m a little gunshy. I want friends, I hate being by myself all day but I'm making friends just to leave them. What is the best thing for Audrey? I know the answer is to get off my ass and find some friends so I guess that is my next task. Anyone in the deep East Texas area want to hang?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Fear of birth
I have a friend that has entered the anyday now phase of pregnancy. Well really she's not due for about 5 more weeks but babies have their own plans. So anyways, I find myself praying for her and fearing the phone call. I still feel so raw from the shock of B's death, I can't help but to fear the next phone call. Also in fairness, I also had a friend lose a baby about three weeks ago, which is also still floating around in my head.
You know I had a homebirth. You know I worry about going to hospital no matter what the cause. After B's death the fear of birthing in the hospital is so on the surface. I know K is ready and willing and begging for a c-section. She also knows quite well my feelings on cutting. But above all I believe in anyone's choice to birth or not as they please. I think I've just has the rose-colored glasses removed from my eyes when it come to the hospital birth. I guess part if just naivety on my part. I have always felt that good people deserve good things and that God will protect them. But honest to goodness B was as close to a saint as I had met and she didn't make it thur child birth. I know good people die. I know that good vs bad doesn't really matter to death. So if my faith in fairness is shaken and smaller then what has filled the space and the cracks, fear.
I love K, much like I did B. I want to hear/read on her facebook all about the wonderful surgery and how her gallbladder scar and c-section scar make a smiley face. But I'm afraid I'll be receiving a call from Leann letting me that things are not good. I'm afraid too for my other friend who will giving birth in the same hospital and with the same practice as B. That hospital has a reputation for death, especially maternal death. So I guess all I can do is pray and celebrate and gift like everyone will be there for me to see in the summer when I finally return to Southside Virginia.
Baby J will be a year old, B will not be there. Baby A will be close to 10 months old, I have faith K will be there to tell me all about the horrible things that Baby A has done. D will have a 5-month old Baby B and tell me all about how I worry too much and to get advice on breastfeeding a baby with teeth. A lot can happen between here and there. I guess I could end up dead, only God knows. Hopefully we'll be going up there to celebrate a wedding for Leann and a second baby for me. Only time will tell.
You know I had a homebirth. You know I worry about going to hospital no matter what the cause. After B's death the fear of birthing in the hospital is so on the surface. I know K is ready and willing and begging for a c-section. She also knows quite well my feelings on cutting. But above all I believe in anyone's choice to birth or not as they please. I think I've just has the rose-colored glasses removed from my eyes when it come to the hospital birth. I guess part if just naivety on my part. I have always felt that good people deserve good things and that God will protect them. But honest to goodness B was as close to a saint as I had met and she didn't make it thur child birth. I know good people die. I know that good vs bad doesn't really matter to death. So if my faith in fairness is shaken and smaller then what has filled the space and the cracks, fear.
I love K, much like I did B. I want to hear/read on her facebook all about the wonderful surgery and how her gallbladder scar and c-section scar make a smiley face. But I'm afraid I'll be receiving a call from Leann letting me that things are not good. I'm afraid too for my other friend who will giving birth in the same hospital and with the same practice as B. That hospital has a reputation for death, especially maternal death. So I guess all I can do is pray and celebrate and gift like everyone will be there for me to see in the summer when I finally return to Southside Virginia.
Baby J will be a year old, B will not be there. Baby A will be close to 10 months old, I have faith K will be there to tell me all about the horrible things that Baby A has done. D will have a 5-month old Baby B and tell me all about how I worry too much and to get advice on breastfeeding a baby with teeth. A lot can happen between here and there. I guess I could end up dead, only God knows. Hopefully we'll be going up there to celebrate a wedding for Leann and a second baby for me. Only time will tell.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Real Men
So the other day on Mothering.com I read an article entitled "Real Men Co-sleep." It was interesting. I like that the father was trying to pin down what a real man is. That a real man is a man that tries to be a good dad.
Back when I was working as a teacher on the detention home I heard a guard tell a kid that he considered him a man since he had a kid. Does the ability to reproduce make you a man? Does having sex make a boy a man? I think we are suffering from a real lack of real men in our world. If we had more examples of real men then we would have less punks out there making babies and running away.
DH is working late a few nights a week now. It really makes me appreciate when I have him around. I can't believe that there are women that do it alone. It is so hard just for a few hours. I'm glad I have a real man by my side. I'm glad my dad stood up and showed me what a real man was so that could spot one. Where have all the real men gone? I know there are some out there. My friends seem to be catching the last few. I hope my Audrey will be able to find one when her time comes.
Back when I was working as a teacher on the detention home I heard a guard tell a kid that he considered him a man since he had a kid. Does the ability to reproduce make you a man? Does having sex make a boy a man? I think we are suffering from a real lack of real men in our world. If we had more examples of real men then we would have less punks out there making babies and running away.
DH is working late a few nights a week now. It really makes me appreciate when I have him around. I can't believe that there are women that do it alone. It is so hard just for a few hours. I'm glad I have a real man by my side. I'm glad my dad stood up and showed me what a real man was so that could spot one. Where have all the real men gone? I know there are some out there. My friends seem to be catching the last few. I hope my Audrey will be able to find one when her time comes.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Return to wheat exile
So after much debate and looking at several poopy diapers, I have to admit my daughter is wheat sensitive if not out right allergic. Back when Audrey was about 3 weeks old, I noticed she would spit up alot and have horrible crying fits of painful gas. At the time we deduced it was wheat since, she was still very little and DH has a confirmed allergy to wheat, among many many other foods. Once I went wheat free Audrey was so much better. We even put up the gas drops. After about a month, I slowly started to let wheat back into my diet. A cracker here, a burger there and she seems to be okay so I thought I was in the clear.
Because DH is allergic to wheat, it has been a small part of our diet. He has never phased it out completely but we try to allergy free meals a few time a week and minimal allergy meals the rest. Audrey seem to do fine but once we moved back to Texas, we stopped being careful. Since we live with my parents and they always have bread and flour tortillas in the house, I've just stuffed my face. This has also been the start of Audrey's move to solids. I say that because I"m trying to remember when I first noticed a big change in her poop.
I know solids poop and EBF poop are different from each other and in general it seems that people say as long as there is poop the color, texture and smell will vary so don't worry. But I noticed that her poop was starting to have a jello like texture. The color was very dark even if she didn't have anything dark to eat and the super green poop was uber weird. It smelled awful. She was clearing the room. Audrey is eating solids but I would say that about 80% of her diet is till breastmilk. So why the changes?
Well it all came to a head this week. Two nights we had to find gas drops because she was in so much pain. She was asleep but doubled over and crying. She had also been diagnosed with eczema, which can be caused by allergies. The light bulb went off. The wheat! I hit the wheat hard over labor day weekend. Hot dogs for like 3 meals a day for 3 days straight. I love hot dogs! I couldn't ignore it anymore. So I went off the wheat Thursday and Friday and the change was huge. The first night she was a bit fitful but not screaming gas pain. The second night, she only cried to eat. Her poop went from dark brown and jelloy to yellow and just slightly thicker than her EBF poop has been.
I guess she had been suffering this whole time :( I feel like an awful mother. How could I hurt my baby like that? I should have known better. So I am returned to wheat exile. Now we start experimenting. How much wheat can she tolerate? Does she have any of Ray's other allergies? I think we're going to skip the allergist for now and just kinda try stuff on our own. I'm going to miss bread but it's either give up the bread or give up the breastfeeding. Strangely I never even considered the last option.
Because DH is allergic to wheat, it has been a small part of our diet. He has never phased it out completely but we try to allergy free meals a few time a week and minimal allergy meals the rest. Audrey seem to do fine but once we moved back to Texas, we stopped being careful. Since we live with my parents and they always have bread and flour tortillas in the house, I've just stuffed my face. This has also been the start of Audrey's move to solids. I say that because I"m trying to remember when I first noticed a big change in her poop.
I know solids poop and EBF poop are different from each other and in general it seems that people say as long as there is poop the color, texture and smell will vary so don't worry. But I noticed that her poop was starting to have a jello like texture. The color was very dark even if she didn't have anything dark to eat and the super green poop was uber weird. It smelled awful. She was clearing the room. Audrey is eating solids but I would say that about 80% of her diet is till breastmilk. So why the changes?
Well it all came to a head this week. Two nights we had to find gas drops because she was in so much pain. She was asleep but doubled over and crying. She had also been diagnosed with eczema, which can be caused by allergies. The light bulb went off. The wheat! I hit the wheat hard over labor day weekend. Hot dogs for like 3 meals a day for 3 days straight. I love hot dogs! I couldn't ignore it anymore. So I went off the wheat Thursday and Friday and the change was huge. The first night she was a bit fitful but not screaming gas pain. The second night, she only cried to eat. Her poop went from dark brown and jelloy to yellow and just slightly thicker than her EBF poop has been.
I guess she had been suffering this whole time :( I feel like an awful mother. How could I hurt my baby like that? I should have known better. So I am returned to wheat exile. Now we start experimenting. How much wheat can she tolerate? Does she have any of Ray's other allergies? I think we're going to skip the allergist for now and just kinda try stuff on our own. I'm going to miss bread but it's either give up the bread or give up the breastfeeding. Strangely I never even considered the last option.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I like cloth diapers
Okay so I'm the first to admit that I was late to the cloth diaper game. My Audrey was 4 months old before I ever bought a cloth diaper and it wasn't until we moved to Texas that we switched her full-time. I wish I had switched her earlier! She seems to be more comfortable in her cloth diapers, like she can feel the softness on her tush instead of the faux-cotteny feel of the disposable.
Our switch has not been without perils. First was the seemingly never ending rash, which turned out to be the fault of the soap I was using. Then was the never ending laundry, which I cured by going on a buying spree. People were not kidding about the whole addiction thing. While I'm far from addicted, I do like to "window shop" on the diaperswappers FSOT boards. Goodmama's are so cute and I just want to keep buying! While I would still like to buy about 5 more Goodmama's to help rotate my stash, we are able to wash every other day, which helps this mama out a lot.
Our latest issue has been thrush but I think finally getting the diagnoses of eczema will help out a lot. It helps to treat the right issue rather than thinking it is one thing and getting no results. Turns out Audrey has sensitive skin like her daddy. It was amazing the difference just from switching her to the Aveeno lotion. Her skin is so soft and clear! While we thought we were dealing with thrush we kept switching to disposables. The number of blow outs sky-rocketed! Why do they blow so much? My GM's just seem to hold and hold.
I'm thinking I need to buy a diaper sprayer to finish rounding out my cloth diapering world. My parents (who watch Audrey during the day) and Ray leave all of the laundry for me. That was part of the compromise for the switch, they would be supportive as long as I did the laundry. I'm happy to do it but I'm finding it is much hard to clean the poopy ones now that she's getting in a far amount of solids and then everyone just mixes the diapers up so I can't tell which ones are wet vs poop. I think the sprayer might help with the removal of the extra.
So I like cloth diapers. Audrey likes cloth diapers. The amount of baby trash I put out is less than half of what it use to be under the disposable regime. Now if I can just find a good deal on a few more GM's.
Our switch has not been without perils. First was the seemingly never ending rash, which turned out to be the fault of the soap I was using. Then was the never ending laundry, which I cured by going on a buying spree. People were not kidding about the whole addiction thing. While I'm far from addicted, I do like to "window shop" on the diaperswappers FSOT boards. Goodmama's are so cute and I just want to keep buying! While I would still like to buy about 5 more Goodmama's to help rotate my stash, we are able to wash every other day, which helps this mama out a lot.
Our latest issue has been thrush but I think finally getting the diagnoses of eczema will help out a lot. It helps to treat the right issue rather than thinking it is one thing and getting no results. Turns out Audrey has sensitive skin like her daddy. It was amazing the difference just from switching her to the Aveeno lotion. Her skin is so soft and clear! While we thought we were dealing with thrush we kept switching to disposables. The number of blow outs sky-rocketed! Why do they blow so much? My GM's just seem to hold and hold.
I'm thinking I need to buy a diaper sprayer to finish rounding out my cloth diapering world. My parents (who watch Audrey during the day) and Ray leave all of the laundry for me. That was part of the compromise for the switch, they would be supportive as long as I did the laundry. I'm happy to do it but I'm finding it is much hard to clean the poopy ones now that she's getting in a far amount of solids and then everyone just mixes the diapers up so I can't tell which ones are wet vs poop. I think the sprayer might help with the removal of the extra.
So I like cloth diapers. Audrey likes cloth diapers. The amount of baby trash I put out is less than half of what it use to be under the disposable regime. Now if I can just find a good deal on a few more GM's.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)