Monday, July 4, 2011
I am an asshole
Since the move, three of my VA friends have become mothers. One passed away in childbirth (B). She is one that has made me appreciate my life more. So why the asshole thing? Immediately after B's death I made a promise to keep in better contact with people. She was there one moment and gone the next. I never got to thank her for all of the help she gave me after Audrey's birth. She checked on me. She cooked for me. She made sure I wasn't so alone when I could not have felt more alone.
An yet I'm a total asshole. I don't call people. I don't write. I barely blog updates anymore. I want to blame my job. I want to blame DH. I want to blame Audrey. I'm a professional woman by day, a mother to a toddler by night and at some point it would be good to be a decent wife. Between all of that when could I possibly have time for anything else.
I have two local friends that I have been dying to see. I moved back to Texas a year ago and still haven't seen them! I moved back to Texas a year ago and I have only been to San Marcos/San Antonio once so my friends in that area haven't been visited in almost a year.
Yep, I'm an asshole. At some point I have to put the blame in the right place and that is squarely on my shoulders. I finally have some vacation coming up. I'm thinking it's time for a trip to SM/SA. I'm going to make lunch plans with my local girls. I'm going to finally return some phone calls.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
One year ago today
So a year ago today we left Virginia, well we left Danville. We wound up spending the night in Roanoke that night so we actually left VA the next day.
We had moved three times before and yet this was the first time we actually had friends to help us. Don't know what we would have done without K & L!
DH asked me why I was sad when I was thinking about the move. I'm not sad. There are few things I miss about Danville. Outside of my friends from Southside VA I have everything I need. But it marks the last time of many things. The last time I ever saw B/will ever see her. The many friends who promised I would see them at least once more we left. The last time we would ever be in the house where Audrey was born. My whole changed in that house. I became a mom to two fur-babies and then a real baby. I finally found a job I loved and friends. I grew up.
When we moved to VA we were kids with nothing to our names but degrees. We came back to Texas as parents, as grown ups. I do miss parts of my life in Virginia but our move to Texas was beyond the right thing to do.
I didn't want to want to move back. I thought I meant that I had failed. Turns out it means that I was letting go and Letting God take the wheel. The move is a success. I hope we'll make a trip back soon but I know we'll be going back next summer for K & L's wedding. I can't wait. Virginia was nice but I'm a Texas girl at heart.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Audrey's words
So here we go:
- No
- Eyes
- Hair
- Ears
- Nose
- Cheeks
- Teeth
- Eyebrow
- Arms
- Apple
- Juice
- Water
- Out
- Side
- Walking
- Boob
- Gibby (which is what she calls her pacifier)
- Barney
- Mama
- Daddy
- Puppy
- Yasmin (our dog Jasmin)
- Noopy (our dog Snoopy)
- Sleepy
- Peepee
- Poop
- Please
- Thank you
- Wecome (Welcome)
- Amen
- Elephant
- Pig
- Cow
- Fish
- Duck/Dog (She is still confusing these two)
- Mouse
- Sheep
- More
- Night (short for good night)
- Bye
- Agua (water in Spanish)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
The wheat challenge
You would think I would happy and jumping for joy. No more wheatlessness, horray! Not really. I remember the screaming, the horrible skin, the baby that was so unhappy. Why would I want to do that again? But you have to take the plunge, right?
We decided to try it. First just Audrey having a little bit of wheat. She had a chicken nugget from Chick-fil-a. Her reaction that night, not too bad. She seems more irritable than normal but no midnight screaming fits. That was Saturday; Monday she had a tempuraed shrimp. Again nothing bad that night. So we move on to Friday, now it was time for me and Audrey to both go back to wheat. I had onion rings and a crawfish salad (crawfish were breaded). Audrey was allowed to eat anything off our plates, as usual. That night, not so good. She was not a happy child. No screaming fit but she was scratching all night. The next day her skin didn't look bad but by Sunday the poor baby had her whole back covered in eczema.
We are wheatless once again. We are also sleeping pretty close to the whole night. We are unsure of what do. Tests say no allergy but her skin is reacting. DH has a wheat allergy so being wheatless really should be a must for him. Honestly I'm feeling a bit clueless. We go back to allergist next week. I guess we'll see then what the next recommended step might be.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Store Brand Formula
This post brought to you by storebrandformula.com. All opinions are 100% mine.
So I'm sure your are wondering why a Lactiavist, La Leche League member, and proud breastfeeding mom is talking about formula. Well it comes down to this, I think all women should research anything they are choosing for their children. So if you decided that formula is right for you, then you chosen the right formula for your child.
Now I think that it is unfair for moms to be given formula at the hospital. I mean whether they mean to or not, it is basically an endorsement by the hospital/doctor/staff of whatever brand they place in a mom's hand. I mean if the doctor gives it to me it has to be the best, right? Even I was given formula by my pro-breasfeeding doctor! Formula samples are everywhere. So with so much free name-brand formula how is a mom to really chose the best thing for their child
I don't endorse formula. I don't use formula. But I will say this, from my research, store-brand formula and name-brand formula is the same thing. Even a U.S. Circuit Court upheld a $13.5 million false advertising claim against Enfamil maker Mead Johnson basically for claiming that Enfamil was better than store-brand formula. So it is legal precedent that store-brand and name-brand are basically the same. Here is what the judge said:
“As the litigation history of the parties demonstrates, despite having twice been restrained from disseminating misleading advertising, Mead Johnson [maker of Enfamil] continued to do so,” Circuit Judge Andre Davis wrote. “PBM [company that brought suit/formula maker] cannot fairly compete with Mead Johnson unless and until Mead Johnson stops infecting the marketplace with misleading advertising.”
The court found that Enfamil’s advertisements of superiority to store brand formulas were false and misleading because store brand formulas offer the same nutrients at the same levels as Enfamil. So name-brand has better advertising not a better product. Think about it, when was the last time you saw an ad for store-brand formula. Now think about the last time you saw one for name-brand. I'm watching TV now and can't get away from formula ads.
So basically my take is this: research. Don't let the free sample sway you. Don't let the TV ads sway you. If store-brand and name-brand are basically the same then save those hard earned pennies. There is no reason to pay the extra money for a fancy name.
Click here: for more information
or go to storebrandformula.com
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Wordless Wednesday: co-sleeping fun
Just a few minutes before the day starts.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The great baptism debate
DH is actually okay with us baptizing Audrey. I've been the issue to this point. See a few months back DH and I were debating circumcision for any future sons; DH is pro-circ and I am anti-circ. We reached a compromise! DH said that if our sons were going to choose to be circ-ed later in life then they should also be able to choose to be baptized. I can live with that. If I want my future sons to make the decision to be circumcised then I can understand that they should also choose to be baptized.
But this leaves the issue of the girls and right now Miss Audrey. If the boys get to choose then shouldn't Audrey? I grew up with visions of choosing baptismal gowns that would be passed down to grandchild. But should I really impose that on Audrey? I love being Catholic. I have my issues but I like going to Mass. I love the prayers and the rituals. Audrey goes to church with me. Audrey has missed Mass maybe twice since we started going out at week 3 postpartum. If I go, Audrey is with me. The kid is Catholic. One of her words is "Amen" and she knows to say it at the end of a prayer. She is learning to cross herself and hold her hands together to pray. Does she need to be baptized at this point in her life?
At first I didn't get Audrey baptized because we lived so far from family. They missed my whole pregnancy. They missed newborn Audrey. I wanted them there for her baptism. We have also been at an impass over Godparents. Who do we chose? We knew very few practicing Catholics and even less that we would trust with Audrey's religious life. So I have no clue what to do. I am praying and staying open to God's plan and hoping for guidance. I feel like the window for baptizing her is closing. If we wait til she's 3 then why not just wait til she wants to be baptized. I just don't know!
It is amazing what you can do when you don't have a choice
The . . . can be just about anything in my life. The wheat-freeness, breastfeeding a toddler, babywearing, co-sleeping, or the homebirthing. I think in this country we have been TV fed the idea that we can't do things. We can't wear a baby it's not safe you must have a stroller. Breastfeeding, why would you do that when you can just give the baby formula. Home birth, are you stupid? Only a doctor is qualified to deliver a baby. You'll die without an epidural; you can't handle the pain. Why do we buy into all of those things? It is amazing how powerful we are as humans, as women, as moms.
Now I'll admit that I have chosen my crunchy wheatfree life. Yes, I could have gone to the hospital and had an epidural. Yes, I can stop breastfeeding and kill a hamburger. Yes, she would cry but I could move Miss Audrey to her own bed. Why not buy a stroller? These are choices that I have made and therefore I am choosing to live my life this way. But what about things that you don't have a choice about?
I have a friend who had PUP, which if you don't know what it is Google it. She actually told me that she didn't know how I live wheat-free. I am in awe of her. She had PUP and let her baby be born on his own time. Most women with PUP have an induction at 38 weeks, the stress on the body and the mental strain are incredible. She ended up going for almost 42 weeks, a full month more than the norm. She is incredible! If she can do that she can do anything. Makes going wheat-free seem so small.
So what can we do if we 'have' to? People have super human strength when they need to save their child. We are amazing creatures. You could go wheat-free. It's not that hard. People are doing it for fun. If your health depended on it, you could do it. Don't even get me started on the crunchy life. Trust me you can do it. Life is all about choices. My choices are my own and yes they are not for everyone but just because you didn't doesn't mean you couldn't.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Time flies
This time of year has so much meaning for me. My birthday is Thursday. I'll be 32. This is time of year also marks the 14th anniversary of my grandmother's death. Hard to forget that one since it was right before I graduated from high school, right before my birthday. So there are lots of things on my mind and yet nothing to write about. Funny how that happens.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Wheatless no more?
Good news? I've been processing the news for a bit. The doctor has ordered blood allegry tests. She said that food allergens can hide in the blood and not show up in the other kind of testing. We are still avoiding wheat until we know for sure. The doctor also said that Audrey has very senstive skin and dry skin so we need to lotion her twice a day everyday. My parents took the news as a good sign. They have a normal grandchild. I think they are making plans for a "real" cake. I still worry about her. The eczema is still real. The gas pain in the middle of the night is still real. What is the cause?
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sponsored Blog: Walgreens Flexible Fabric Bandages
This is a compensated post written by me on behalf of Walgreens. All opinions are 100% mine.
I recently had the chance to try Walgreens' Flexible Fabric Adhesive Bandages. As a mom, bandages are a must in your mom tool kit. Kids use and need bandages. You have need to buy them, but if you are like me you are on a budget. How can you keep your tool kit stocked without emptying your wallet? Personally I go with Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Products. Buying store brands keeps you ready with stock on hand without busting your budget. Basically you save a dollar with Walgreens vs the name brand without ever clipping a coupon!
But I know you know that ,so why the Walgreens? How did they do? Can I trust a store brand? Aren't name brands better? Honestly, I found the Walgreens worked just as well as the name brand. I actually like the Flexible Fabric Bandages better. I tried the old move the bandage after I already placed it and they moved without a problem. They stayed flexible and stuck very well to my skin. I wore it on my knee and it stayed close to the skin no matter what position I placed my knee! I know I've used bandages that lift when you move your knee but this kept my cut protected. Unlike some bandages there is a small edge around the pad so it will stick and keep your wound clean and protected.
Part of the reason I like Walgreens so much is the Walgreens Way to Well Fund™, every purchase of every Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Product supports bringing preventive wellness services to local communities! The Walgreens Way to Well Fund™ will provide FREE preventive health tests as well as other health and wellness services and education to local communities. Some of those services will include preventive health tests through the National Urban League Health & Wellness Tour and vouchers redeemable in select stores. Walgreens will contribute up to $3 million annually to the Walgreens Way to Well Fund™. So just by buying a Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Product, you are helping local communities receive preventive care. As we all know, a preventive approach to health care keeps people healthy and out of the hospital.
So the long and the short: I like the bandages. They work, they are affordable and they help the community. So between the saving money and Walgreens Way to Well Fund™, it is a no brainer, go to Walgreens.
Friday, April 29, 2011
My greener period
Why the Instead?
Reason 1: I could buy it right off the store shelf. I had just missed my pad again and I was not going to take it laying down. I had to do something now! I headed to CVS and bought a box. About $7 for 14 cups.
Reason 2: I had used them before. Way back in my Hollins days, I had heard some girls talk about the cup and I tried. After leaving my bathroom looking like a murder scene I gave up.
Findings:
Well this time around I tried for two periods. I did use back up, a pad, but didn't need it, mostly. I did struggle to put it in place properly. I think with more practice I"ll get it down. My second month I got it in place twice! Now the placement is very important but I found that even if I didn't place it just right I still didn't get the horrible bloody butt of shame that comes from an accident. I would just pour/empty directly into the toilet. It was much easier. The times I got it in place just right where wonderful. Nothing on my pad. Nothing in the toilet. It was like not having a period at all!
I did also notice that my period was shortened by a day. Instead of my five day cycle, using the Instead soft cup I only had four days. I have no clue why. I know that other women have reported the same thing. Maybe it just because you are catching it at the source instead of just running out of you so you have one day less of mess. Whatever the reason I was super happy.
I didn't have any issue with putting my fingers in there or touching my period. That is so high school! I've given birth at home in my livingroom. No point in getting grossed out now! :) I know it would bother some people but I was cool.
I feel like it was worth my time and money. I will have to buy more before my next cycle since I don't have enough to last me but they are at my local CVS and Walmart so I don't really have to plan ahead.
I am hoping to buy a Diva Cup. I hear it sits lower in the vagina so the placement is easier. We'll see. Unfortunately, the Dive Cup does require some preplanning since you have to order it. I am also hoping for kit from LunaPads. I really want to ditch the disposable pads. If Audrey gets cloth then I want some too!
We'll see how my greening efforts go.
PS This is totally my opinion. Instead did not pay me :( to say anything for them. I bought the box and just wanted to report my findings. On to the Diva Cup!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
My self esteem/downsizing my pants
So anyways back to Old Navy, I grabbed the size 16 and to my surprise they fit. I wasn't ready for that. For some reason that really shocked me. The pants did just fit they fit! Like the holy Grail of pants, I looked great, felt great, and had no camel toe. I left the store without them. I'm not ready for the 16s in my head. In my head I'm still a size 22 and I'm not sure about my new reality.
I feel good. DH likes me at any size. I know I need new clothes. My jeans fell off my butt while I was jumping with Audrey! I guess what I also need is a reality check. My butt is smaller that doesn't mean anything other than my butt is smaller. Great now that I ran from the prefect pants, which were on sale, I'll never find them again. But even worse, I'll have to pay full price! Anyways, that was my Saturday.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Spot the Crunchy Mama
The list is not at all scientific or researched just basically my musings. So in no particular order:
As you approach do you see
Or maybe
You might have a crunchy mama. This is known as babywearing. Notice there is no stroller but baby is on mama's back sound asleep.
You might also notice that baby has a necklace made of amber. This is known as an Amber teething necklace. It helps with teething and growing pains. Yes it works why would crunchy mama spend the money otherwise? Here is a pic:
Does the baby have a very big butt? This could be the sign of a cloth diaper! Yes they make them and people buy and use them. Most crunchies who cloth diaper can't believe anyone would choose to use disposables, what a waste of money and talk about bad for the environment! Beware discussing cloth vs disposables, a crunchy has researched this topic and can talk for hours!
Big butt:
You might also notice the lack of bottles or pacis. Many crunchies refuse to use either. This crunchy uses both but if I'm with baby you won't usually see a bottle cause I just wipe out a boob to feed the baby. You might just see a boob or two if baby/toddler is very active. Do not be afraid. We don't mind and are use to it. Please ask away but be ready for lots of info! This too is a topic of research!
See by no means a complete list. See what else comes to mind? How can we head a mainstream mama spot the crunchy?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I'm a loser
So I did what every modern mom does, I hit Twitter up with the question, when did you first leave your child for the night? I mean maybe I"m damaging my child. So the responses were overwheleming at least 2 years old and one mom said 4 years old. This made me feel less like a weirdo. I'm not the only momma refusing to leave her baby for the night. But I was thinking about it. Is my sample actually "normal"? I mean I follow and am followed by people who think like me. Most of the people I follow are AP parents, lactivist, and homebirth activist, not exactly mainstream America.
I don't think I'm any closer to finding out if I'm normal or not with question to the whole leaving your baby thing. I guess I have to fall back on the old, "it feels right to me." I guess I also need to do some research on "normal" ages that children spend the night away from their parents. I know for me, Audrey spending the night down the hall won't happend until she's nightweaned. She still searchs for boob at least twice a night. I"m in no hurry to wean her at all so it may be a while yet. So when do you think it's okay to leave baby for the night?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Did you know?
Did you know that premixed cornbread mixes have wheat? Again, usually list wheat flour before cornmeal. But you can make from scratch and use just ground cornmeal.
Did you know that some hair products have wheat? That one caught me totally be surprise. We got a hair oil for Audrey from my MIL and began using it. Made her hair look great but we noticed her head was breaking out. Stopped to read the label and it was the last ingredient! Seriously, why put wheat in there?
IHOP omelets also have pancake batter. I love their omelets but they have wheat so IHOP is totally off of our list of places to eat.
Just thought I would share.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
When you stop fighting . . .
Saturday, DH and I had a long talk about our current & future wheat-less life. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "When you stop fighting the pain of being wheatless, it will become normal." He's right. Now that I've stopped fighting being wheat-less, I am finding it easier to be wheatless. I'm actually okay with the idea of being wheatless for the rest of my life.
So I guess everything I ever needed to learn I learned during my homebirth. Okay not really but still, there is a big life lesson. Stop fighting and go with the flow. Trust that everything will be okay; trust that if you let go, it can be okay. As a friend of mine always says, "Let go and Let God."
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Slipping thur my fingers
I find it so hard to believe that it is that time. I should have put it all up a month ago but I just wasn't ready to let it all go.
She is growing up so fast! I still feel that newborn being placed on my chest for the first time. Now she's 32 inches tall! Where did the time go? Does always move so fast? I keep thinking that I going to turn around and she'll be graduating from college.
Slipping thur my fingers always comes to mind when I think Audrey going up. The time is moving so fast, slipping thur my fingers in deed. The song always makes me cry. I remember how hard I sobbed listening to the song when I was pregnant. I think maybe I cry too easily.
I'm not ready to see Audrey grown up. I want my baby but there is no way but forward. Audrey is no newborn; she is a toddler. I thank God for each moment with her. I know I don't deserve this wonderful girl. So yes it feels like it is all slipping thur my fingers; all moving so quickly.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wheatless for life?
DH and I had a long talk about this topic today. We have decided that our house will be a Wheatless house. We will be a Wheatless family. DH said that we should not kept Wheatless when nit around Audrey. That her allergies are her allergies and no matter what I eat or don't eat I'm not allergic to wheat. His point being i can't suffer for her. He is right. If I keep strictly Wheatless after she weans then it needs to be because I want to not because Audrey has an allergy.
A Wheatless family but not a Wheatless life. Not sure if that makes sense but I'm starting to understand this new phase of my life. While yes my life would be easier if my Audrey didn't have a food allergy, this allergy really has made me a better mom. I don't just shove food in Audrey's mouth or my mouth. I stop and think. I spend time thinking about and reading over food choices. I don't just hand her a cookie. I stop to search for a good wheatfree snack. Honestly, the allergy slows me down and I need to be slown down. I tend to just hurry up and get things done but now I have to stop and read. I know I'll eventually learn what to buy and my shopping and feeding will speed up. So for now I am thankful. Thankful to slow down and focus. Thankful the allergy isn't deadly. Thankful I have my Audrey, allergies and all.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
No guaranty on a baby
I do wonder about the next baby. Will all of my children have a wheat allergy? What was the likelihood that my first child would have DH's allergy? Even if all my future children are "normal," can you have a split house? Everyone but Audrey eating pizza; I don't think that would work. Honestly, I'm beginning to think that I need to think about being wheat-free for the rest of my life. In order for Audrey to be normal being wheat-free needs to be our normal.
DH's parents were also telling us to stop having children. But they were saying that in terms of looks. According to them, Audrey is so cute that any other kids/daughters would not be as cute. Not sure what to say about that one. Maybe Audrey will be the homely one. Maybe my other children won't be as cute.
No baby comes with a guaranty so God willing we'll roll the dice and have another child within the few years. Will the child be 'normal'? Will he/she be as cute? Will we be able to handle more than one child? So many unknowns but then that is what makes life worth living. If I knew all of the answers then there would be no point to living. We must live and learn.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Swirly Audrey
Monday, March 14, 2011
The side car solution
First thing is that we bought a convertible crib. We bought ours at Babies r us but that is neither here nor there. Convertible cribs are great for this purpose because they are made to be used without the front. Normally you would do that to make the toddler bed but hey it works for this too!
Second you need to measure your crib and bed and find a wall in your room so that you can use the wall as the brace for your side car. You will be placing the crib next to the wall and pushing your bed next to it. This will keep the crib from moving. (At that step alot of people will also use bungie cords to secure the bed and crib together. I didn't have bungie cords so I didn't do it. Although, I think for a newborn this is a good step, again you can't be too safe.)
Third you need to see how much of a difference in height there is between your bed and the crib mattress. There are a couple of ways to deal with this. My solution was to use bricks under the crib legs. Many people go to the craft store and buy foam cord cut to the right measurements. It may take several layers so you'll have to measure and measure before you buy. I had extra bricks so I just used what I has on hand.
I know the picture isn't great but you can see that I have two bricks on top of each other. I have done that for all four legs.
The next step is actually pushing everything together or if you are good without the measuring tape you can measure to find the gap between the crib mattress and your bed. Remember that you have removed the front of your crib so you will have a bit of a gap. My solution was to roll up towels and placed them on the side next to the wall. That keeps the crib mattress from sliding and leaving a gap for baby to get caught in. This is super important. You cannot have a gap! The most important thing is baby's safety. I have seen that some people will create/make a special blanket that covers the seam between the crib mattress and your bed. Now that Audrey is older I don't worry about the seam but when she was younger I would lay a blanket across the seam.
Again the picture isn't great but you can see that our bed is brown and her crib is green and they are touching. It looks like there is room between the two but I think that is the crappy picture because trust me I struggle to change the sheets since it is so tight between the two.
The final step is using it. It does take time to set up but it is well worth the effort. I know many people buy an arm's reach co-sleeper and then a crib. Why spend the extra money? The convertible crib and be sidecared and then it can be your toddler bed or your child's full size bed frame. But again you have to do what is best for you.
If you have any questions or tips to add feel free to leave them in the comments and I'll try to add them to the post. Others have great write ups on putting together a side car. Google them up and see the variety that is out there. Honest it's not that hard.
So one last pic, you can see Audrey is sleeping in our bed. Most nights she uses her crib but she ends up in our bed for a few hours each night. We love it. Audrey has her space and we have ours but every night we are together.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Neutral face
As a crunchish mama, I am finding the need to perfect my neutral face. I am finding that a lot of very smart people do things that require my neutral face. I don't want to pass judgement. They parent their way and I parent my way. I have seen many a person have neutral face with me. It's cool and thank you for being kind enough to use your neutral face.
So go practice your neutral face. You will find it very handy.
Friday, March 11, 2011
The sweetest moments
Audrey doesn't let me hold her to rock her to sleep anymore. She'll nurse and then roll her back to me. She prefers to sleep in her sidecar.
I will never forget the sweetest moment of my life: Audrey's first nap. It was two hours post partum. Debbie, my midwife, had cleaned me up and with Ray's help put me in bed. They handed my Audrey to me and we got comfortable. She relaxed and fell asleep. I had a moment before I fell asleep were I felt peaceful, whole, beautiful and that everything was right in the world. I will carry that moment with me always.
Everything she goes to sleep on my chest, I breath her in deep and I go back in time. She was new and I was new to motherhood. We had just had life transforming moments. We had worked together and now we were resting together. She hadn't been given a bath yet so she still smelled of amniotic fluid. I hadn't taken a bath yet so I had the smell of amniotic fluid on me. It was perfect. We were perfect.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The attached parent
I think part of what bothers me is that it implies that I set out to be an attached parent. I'm going to be honest. If I could parent anyother way I probably would. I mean I don't really like having a baby kick me in the kidneys at 3am but I can't image her sleepping in another room. I didn't like leaking all over myself but I'm too cheap to spend money on formula. I would use a stroller but I'm terrified someone would steal Audrey when I turn around to look at something. I didn't set out to be attached; Audrey just kinda got attached.
I can be a bit of a controlfreak so the idea that I can control my diet and therefore Audrey's diet (via breastmilk) was a need in me. I can't trust a formula company; it is just not in me. I can't trust people to keep their hands to themselves. I want to know where Audrey is at all times. I don't want people touching my kid and having her on me (literally) means no strange hands. The bed thing, well after carrying her for 9 months in me, the idea of her down the hall just didn't work. We tried to do the crib in room but she was so little and she cried and I couldn't handle it so she moved into our bed and has been there ever since.
So maybe I'm attached but it wasn't a choice. It really did just happen but I am more than a label. Like any parents attached/dettached a label is not the whole person. We do the best we can.
Monday, March 7, 2011
I think my weekly habit is killing my kid!
This has not seemed to be an issue with my breastmilk; I guess in the grand scheme of my diet it is next to nothing. The problem I am noticing is a kiss sized rash on Audrey's cheek. It seems to appear on Mondays; the day after I normally take communion. I'm thinking I am taking communion and then kissing Audrey. Is it possible that she is reacting to such a small exposure? DH doesn't react when touching wheat but I was using a hair oil on Audrey that had wheat and her scalp broke out! Poor thing, I think her allergy is worse than her dad's.
With Lent starting on Wednesday, I have a lot to think about and pray over. Can/should I be taking communion if I am Wheatfree? Is it possible to still feel connected with my faith if one of the most important parts (communion) is missing? Audrey vs Jesus? This is going to be difficult.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Shut your pie-hole crunchy bitch
I want to share the lessons I've learned but I know that my life works for me. I don't live anyone else's life so how can my lessons really benefit them? I can talk in general but it is hard to give an example without making people feel singled out. If I talk about letting a baby "cry-it-out" and how I think it is horrible then someone will think I'm talking about them. Besides, how do you talk about something like that without passing judgement. Yes I think letting a baby cry themselves to sleep is horrible. How can you stand there and listen to your child cry? But then that is me. I can't do it. Maybe you can and may you raise the Supreme Court justice and I raise the serial killer. Who is really to say?
I think a classic example is babywearing. I babywear (shocking right?). I think there is a right way and a wrong way and there is definitely a deadly way. Yes, there is research to support my way but wrapping isn't for everyone (most days not even for me) or MeiTeis or SSC or ring slings. Maybe the Baby Bjorn is the best thing for that family. Anything else could result in dropping the baby or never wearing that baby. Which is worse? Never wear or wear in a Bjorn? I had a Bjorn! I thought it was great. Then I got my Moby and I hated my Bjorn. Then I did research and attended some babywearing meetings. I decided that for Audrey I would Bjorn no more. That doesn't make me a better parent. It made me a better parent for Audrey. Happy Mama = Happy Baby?
Even that statement, happy mama + happy baby makes me think twice. I would love to out drinking with my friends, getting my nails done and spending money on me. That would make me happy. I don't think that would make Audrey happy. I could shove formula in her face so I can get drunk but that would not make either of us happy (I'm not a big drinker). But there are mamas who are happier giving formula. Breastfeeding makes them feel trapped. Happy Mama = Happy Baby? I just don't know.
So to the point, I will not shut my pie-hole but please don't assume I'm talking about you. I will live my life and you will live yours. I don't feel guilty about my choices and neither should you. We are all doing the best we can and it is a crap shoot. My happily attached cloth-diapered breastfed Audrey could wind up a murder on death row and your happy Bjorn formula baby could cure cancer. I'm thinkin' it's a crap-shoot either way.
Friday, March 4, 2011
EcoNuts Soap Nuts
I got the soap nuts and at first I was scared. It was literally a box of berries! How in the world do I use these things!? Lucky for me they came with instructions. You put five in a cloth baggy (which was included) and toss in the wash. It was that simple. I gave them a real challenge, period stained underwear! They came out spotless. First time I've ever had that happen. I'm in love! I highly recommend soap nuts!
Just as a note. Maybelline nor EcoNuts paid me to blog about them nor was that a condition of winning. But since I liked them I thought I would share.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Changing my name but keeping the ring
When I started blogging, I was just keeping an online diary of my pregnancy for my family and friends. Now I've expanded to my family life in general and affects of a wheat-less life on me. Wheat-less Mama just makes sense at the moment. I'm a mama and thanks to the funny twists in life, I'm a wheat-less one. I hope you'll keep reading as I babble on about motherhood, womanhood, and wheat-free living.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I'm jealous
Yes i was jealous. Not of the "foods" she had but of the carefree nature of the cart. That mom did not think she just dumped. Her concern, can i afford is? Will we eat this? Not will this hurt my child. I don't mean to sound hateful but yes for a minute I was green with jealousy.
I never pictured my life with food allergies. When DH's food allergy test came back with wheat and yeast (among other things), I was upset. It meant a change in our diet. We tried to go totally wheat free but 8 years ago the wheat free food was hard to find and it was mostly horrible. So DH just dealt with the pain. As a grown man he can choose to eat what he wants so our diet didn't change as much as it should of. Basically we would go wheat free when his allergies were just too much.
So it was part of our lives but not the focus. I totally never thought my children would have to deal with allergies. I mean DH was 25 before his allergies were 'discovered.'. So when Audrey was screaming in pain nightly at 3 weeks old, I discovered a new phase in my life, the wheatless phase.
As long as I am breastfeeding I am wheat-free. That might be two years maybe four tops depending on when Audrey totally weans but I'll be a concerned label reading mama for the rest of my life. I'll always have to ask what is in that before Audrey eats it. I won't have that carefree grocery cart, I don't think i'll ever have that carefree cart. So yes I was jealous. I love Audrey and DH and that means I'll always have a semi-wheat-free life. But if my choices are bread and Oreos or Audrey and DH then I'll never eat and oreo again.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Giveways to know about:
Party of 5 and Counting is giving away a Baby Bond nursing cover. Here is the link:
http://partyof5andcounting.blogspot.com/2011/02/baby-bond-review-and-giveaway.html
It closes on Feb 25th so hurry over and enter to win.
Mommy is Green is giving away a GroVia Diaper! Here is the link:
http://www.mommyisgreen.net/2011/02/glass-baby-bottle-grovia-cloth-diaper.html
It closes on March 2nd so get over there! I love Gro Vias! This is a prefect giveaway if you want to start a cloth diaper stash! You can also go to the sponsor: The Glass Baby Bottle if you just want to buy one to try out.
Mommy is Green is giving away Tropical Traditions Organic Coconut Flour! Here is the link:
http://www.mommyisgreen.net/2011/02/tropical-traditions-organic-coconut.html
That one will be open until March 6th.
Naturalmente Mama is giving away Tropical Tradition Organic Coconut oil! Here is the link:
http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/tropical-traditions-gold-label-virgin.html
That one will be open until March 5th.
While I am not a big fan of dried coconut, I don't like the texture, I love love love Coconut oil for baby's skin and to treat/prevent thrush. Both ladies just posted the giveways so get in there and get your name in the bag.
There is also another give away on Naturalmente Mama! She's got Plant Wise snack bags! That one will close on March 2nd. Here is the link: http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/planet-wise-bag-your-snack-stuff-resena.html
Parting ways with my pump
I am happy to be putting away the pump. No longer having to pump and eat or pump and work. The pump will be going into storage until the next baby. But I am also sad. My pump allowed me to keep breastfeeding my baby once I returned to work. It allowed me time to think since I had to stop and go pump. It also means that Audre is growing up. She wants water not milk. I know that she still loves momma milk since that is the first thing she'll ask for after her hug once I am in the door. I still get to snuggle and kiss while she is on the breast but she's growing up. My baby is a toddler and before I know it a little girl then you know the rest.
So good-bye pump. Thank you for helping me feed my baby. Thank you for helping me toward my breastfeeding goal. Thank you for time to focus on Audrey.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
How to win stuff
I myself have won boots from BearPaw shoes, flip-flops from FeelzGood shoes, green cleaning products from Green Irene and most recently Rockin' Green laundry soap from a momma blogger. So how do you do this? It's easy! You just got the contests and enter. Usually you have to go to a website and then come back and comment. Then you get extra chances by "liking" pages on Facebook, following certain people on Twitter, following blogs via Google friend connect and each blogger will add other ways to win.
It's easy and fun. I only enter contest for things I want but there are so many contests going on at once you could spend all day entering. It is hard to keep up!
So I'll give you a lead. A mommy-blogger who's blog I love even without giveways has a contest going on right now at Naturalmente Mama. It ends on Feb 17th but she has lots of ways to win and the first entry is super easy, just tell her how you plan to eat more whole-grains! I'll warn you she blogs in Spanish but she always lists her contests in both languages so don't get discouraged and head her way!
As I find more cool contests I'll try to blog them up. The best way to hear about contests is really Twitter. Just start following some momma bloggers and they'll post their contests as well as other bloggers contests up. Join in the winning!
Here is Maybelline's link again: http://www.naturalmentemama.com/2011/02/cereales-big-g-de-general-mills-sorteo.html
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Where have all the friends gone?
But anyways, I remember the episode after Miranda had her baby and her struggle to be a new mom and the isolation she felt since she was in a different place from her friends. I think it's been pretty clear thru my blogging that isolation is a pretty constant feeling in my life. It has seemed that since Audrey's birth, I stopped being Martha. I don't think I'll ever forget how alone I felt after Audrey's birth. People who promised to visit never came by and I know people were afraid to call since they were afraid to wake the baby. I was so overwhelmed with being a new mom that I didn't pick the phone up either.
But it did get better. I started back to work and go to see my "work friends" and then after a while I found the Triad Tot Totters. I finally felt like I had friends, people that understood me. The TTT's were truly a God-send. They are mommas who kinda had the same baby raising philosophy as me and they were people that I could meet up with. While I had found a very supportive on-line network of moms there is no substitute for meeting up with people in real-life. Leaving my new group of friends was the worst part of moving to Texas. It was the part that scared me the most. Could I ever find mommas like me in Deep East Texas?
I'm so happy that I have been able to find a group to hang with here. They are women that I've met thru La Leche League and again they are a God-send. After almost 8 months in Texas, I'm beginning to feel like I have friends. People that I can get together with and hang out. People that have babies for Audrey to play with.
But one problem I am still struggling with is balance and finding time for old friends. I get just a few minutes to play with my iPhone to tweet and facebook and keep up with friends but really they deserve better than that. The few friends that I have left deserve more attention than a few second tweet. It is so hard to find the time. When I blog it is usually a four day process via my iPhone app so it's not like there is really much time that I have just to email but I think the really problem is the phone. I hate talking on the phone! I hate calling people because it feels like I'm interrupting something important and if I make a plan to call someone then that will be the time that Audrey gets super needy. I feel like I'm in a new win situation. Thankfully since they are in fact friends, they understand and they deal with my negligent of them; they know I care but that I'm mostly an ass and a mom. They are the best and one day I'll have time and money to visit them all again. I miss living near my bestests friends but it is good to know that they have not left me, they have like always just learned to deal with me. Those "friends" that have fallen off have gone on to better friends, people who have time for them and their life, those true friends that are still around have taught me that patience and understanding are the building blocks of life-long friendship.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Cloth diapering on the cheap
Okay so yes CD can be expensive and starting the stash is the hard part. My stash is probably valued at around $500 or so but I have never bought a new diaper! That is the secret; buy used. Part of the power of CD is belief in the power of soap. I believe soap can clean poop therefore I can buy used and just wash the previous baby out!
Also start small. My stash started the three used CDs on which I spent $24 including shipping. No you won't be able to drop the disposibles right away but the point is to make the transition. I was able to make a good deal on three more CDs and then a friend gave me three more and that was the start is my CDs during the day and disposables at night. With such a small stash I has to wash everyday. But at that point I had spent $50 and I was CDing almost full-time. From there it was a matter of buying/lucking into a good deal on 6 more CDs and I kissed disposables good bye.
Yes it will take time and money but it can be done. I also used Tide Free and Clear to wash. I did finally break down and buy some Rocking Green detergent and I love it but again not necessary. You are going to buy detergent anyways just buy the Free and Clear stuff and dry in the sun.
Wet bags are another nice thing but I don't have one. I toss my dirty CDs in a box. Yep, just a plain cardboard box. I am cheap. Don't need the fancy bag. I also don't have a diaper sprayer. I just shake the diaper over the toilet and wash. If it is really bad I just scrape with some toilet paper. It's not glamourous; I'm cheap.
As to washing, with my current stash I can wash about twice a week. As your stash grows you can wash less. As your baby grows you use less. I still wash about every two days because my mom (who watches Audrey) prefers my GroBabies, which are the newest members of the stash and I only have four shells and six inserts. But I can handle it.
So in conclusion, I am cheap and even lazy and I cloth diaper. It won't happen overnight but you can do it. Diaperswapper.com and thebabywearer.com are excellent sites for find good used diapers on the cheap. Play with it, you will find that some diapers will work better than others. I have 7 different brands in my stash and use about two. Ask your friends that CD if you can borrow to see what fits your baby best. You are not alone and you can do this. It's just poop and you'll have to wipe it either way.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Living the wheat-free life
I don't want Audrey to grow-up feeling like she is missing out. Being wheat-free shouldn't be some sort of horrible sentence. I'm finding that gluten-free items are getting better and easier to find. I've also found that finding people who are also wheat-free is so helpful. It's amazing how much easier it seems when you can ask someone for advice.
It has been great for my waistline! I've lost about 30 lbs post baby. I thinkn some of it was breastfeeding but the other part has been the diet change. One thing I haven't done is see a dietitian for advice but I figure as long as Audrey is growing then we are okay. Breastmilk is prefect food even when we don't eat perfectly.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Does she sleep thru the night?
I recently read an article featuring my new hero Mayim Bialik where she mentioned embracing the lack of sleep. It is in the fighting that we can turn it into a negativity. She also mentioned finding support and/or a supportive group. She is so right! I don't mind the lack of sleep; I know it is part of motherhood. I'm also so on the whole find support thing. I love my La Leche League group and miss my babywearing group from Greensboro. All moms need a group to turn to for support; this is especially true of us crunchier moms since we are usually the only crunchies we even know. Thank God for the internet! I highly recommend TheBabywearer.com and the mother of the crunchy boards Mothering.com. We are not as alone as we feel.
So back to sleeping, the measure of a good mom is not how long your baby sleeps at night. Every baby is different and Doctor so and so's plan may not be right for you and your baby. So embrace your sleep whether you get 2 hours or 8 and forget the advice of those that go against your instincts.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Dogs a better class of people
I know there are people who think a dog is a dog is a dog. For me and my friends, our dogs have been like children. I know that I would not be half the mom I am today if Snoopy and Jasmin, my two dogs, had not started me on the path to being a mom.
I was self-fish, self-centered, and pretty thought-less when it came to others. I never really owed anybody anything. DH accepted me for me so I didn't really have a need to change and then Snoopy entered my life. Gone were the days of just running to NC for the weekend. I had a dog, a dependent, to think about. Martha before dogs and Martha after really are different Marthas.
So make fun if you must. My first child has four legs and so does my second. My third baby loves the first two and they love her back. We are a happy family of five so yes I would mourn my dog as a child; they made me a mom. So today I have K in my thoughts and prayers because she lost a child, a furry four-legged (well three-legged in Dig's case) child and she is in pain. So dogs are a better class of people, thank you B for reminding me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Bubba connection
I also think she is learning to play with language a bit. DH and I sometimes call nursing time Boobs and my mother say Vaca. I think decided if she combined the two everyone would understand! We'll see what her next word is. I bet it will be another combo.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Vaccines
I am in favor of vaccines. Before you judge let me explain. I am a delay-vaxer. DH is also in favor of delayed vaxing. I think to some extent we are select vaxers. The doctor is trying to convince us that we should do the vax for chicken pox, so far we are not buying it.
I am in favor of vaccines because they can keep kids safe. I don't want Audrey to suffer from a preventable disease like polio. I don't want to look back and see that I could have saved her life with a shot. I know the likelihood of coming across a person with polio and then Audrey contracting it are small but the chance is there. While I don't normally go with the medical establishment, I have to say that some vaccines are good. Are all the vaccines necessary? I'm thinking no and I don't like the schedule at all. But for our family, some vaccines with extra spacing and time in-between (and not in combo) is right. I also think that since I work with the public with alot of recent arrivals from other countries not having vaccines is just taking a risk.
