Wordless Wednesday: Story and Crafts at the library

2 weeks of natural hair

So I finally got my haircut on Friday!
Before:

This is my before shot.  My hair is fine and thin.  There is a lot of natural wave but after years and years of the flat iron it tends to just be lifeless.  So no hair products or blow dryer, just plain hair









After:

I lost a few inches.  Gone is my traditional angled bob.  I love the new length and it has been easier to bring the curl out.  Stylist put Kendra Curl Creme or something like that on it. 






We'll see what the boss thinks tomorrow.  If it is professional enough for the library.  I really do like it but I'm struggling to get the curl back into the back of my head.  The front curls up very easily.  The stylist did say it might take my hair a bit to get the curl memory back after so many years of straightening.  So far so good.  I'm bringing curly back.

More Tracfone love

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of TracFone for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

Can you tell I love Tracfone.  My mom and dad only use Tracfone.  Tracfone just makes it so easy to stay on budget and get great service.  I actually have called the customer service line and the representatives are always helpful.  While I think the service and phones are easy to use for my parents, the customer service line is a life-saver. 

With no contracts, no credit checks, no activation charges or cancelation fees, great nationwide coverage and excellent reception/connectivity, Tracfone is great way to connect to people and stay connected.  With their excellent customer service, Tracfone is an every better deal.  Here is what Real TracFone customers have to say.

You can find brand name phones from leading manufacturers like Motorola, Kyocera, LG, Nokia and Samsung with So many features You can go super high tech and get a Bluetooth®-enabled "Smart" phones or go with a super budget-friendly simple "Candy Bar" phones.  With phones as low as $10.00, you can afford to get everyone in the house their own phone.

While you might think that Tracfone is only pay-as-you go, they do offer several monthly plans and options. So you can hit up the local store and buy a card to add minutes; you can go online to add minutes; you can add directly from your phone; or go old-school with a monthly plan that gets added directly.  Tracfone also offers cool packages that gives  1 year service cards, double minutes for the life of your TracFone, and 800 minutes, for only $119.00.  Lots of the phones now come with “Double minutes for the life of your phone”  or you can buy it separately for only $19.99.  My mom loves watching her 200 minute card become 400 minutes on her "Double minutes for life phone."  So she is getting 400 minutes for like $30.00! 

If you need to make international calls, Tracfone is the only wireless service where you can call internationally, for the same price as any other call.  Talk about savings and a good way to control your budget!  Call over 60 international destinations directly from your TracFone at no extra cost!  With the International Neighbors program, you can provide family and friends in Mexico or Canada a local phone number in those countries to reach you at your TracFone in the U.S. 

I'm always a fan of things that keep people on budget.  With today's move fast world, a cell-phone is a must.  Tracfone give everyone a way to have a sleek phone without the hassle contracts and/or budget busting monthly bills.

My mom has the LG420 phone.  Honestly, it's more phone than she needs but she loves it.  See why:

Wordless Wednesday: Photobooth is my best friend

Bursitis of the hip

So the official diagnose is bursitis of the hip.  Doc gave it a more specific name but I didn't catch it enough to repeat it.  I know it's the top bursa not the lower bursa (whatever that means).

I really like my doctor.  She is super down to earth.  She's a breastfeeding mom and a runner so she totally gets me.  Never had a doctor that got me before.  She gave me three options: 1. 800 mg ibuprofen/3x daily + rest (2 weeks) 2. Oral steroids 3. Steroid shot in the hip with a huge needle.  After much discussion with doc, I went with option 1.  I'm not a take meds kinda girl but huge needles and steroids sound like overkill.  Hopefully I won't have to turn to the other options in two weeks time.

The problem with having a diagnose is access to the internet.  I've been searching non-stop for the last few hours and it's freaking me out!  So many people talking about pain for years!  Pain even after treatment and surgery.  Martha needs to lay off the internet searching and just rest.  So the question is this does bouncing a toddler count as high-impact exercise?  I was rocking Audrey to sleep, which requires bouncing her in a mei-tai, and I had a bit of shooting pain in my hip.  I guess I should have asked doc.  Oh well, maybe I'll call doc and ask. 

Finally vacation

I'm finally on vacation.  My first in three years.  My plans so far are a bust.  Thankfully I don't mind.  Instead of going to the zoo with my Audrey, we are enjoying the rain from Tropical Storm Lee.  We have been needing the rain!

My 30-day hair challenge is going okay.  I'm struggling with frizz and how to fix my hair.  I am really hoping for a trip to the hairdresser soon.  I've gotten lots of recommendations on products and am still trying to decide what to buy.  So many different things to try!

On Tuesday I will be going to the doctor to see about my hip.  My right hip has clicked since a couple of days after Audrey's birth but never in pain.  After my first attempt to go from couch-to-5K, I think I finally super injured whatever had started before.  I remember being in pain for two weeks but it got better so I was just dealing.  The clicking is worse and now painful.  The real issue is the pain at just about all times.  Not fun when you are trying to deal with a toddler.  Not sure what I am hoping hear other than rest it.  I'm thinking the worst news would be surgery or never run again.  I want to run again.  We'll see and I'll report.

30 Days to love my natural hair

So I hate curly/wavy hair.  Yeah I said it.  Yeah I know I have wavy hair.  Yeah I know my biracial child has curl beyond curl.  Yes, that is the reason I'm going natural.

I don't know why but I have always wanted straight hair.  To me wavy and curl is not professional and doesn't belong in the office.  That is a Martha issue.  I don't want it to ever be an Audrey issue.  So I'm going natural.  I'm going to love my hair.  I'm going to put up the flat iron and get over myself. 

So today was day 1, I put mousse in my hair and scrunched.  Actually came out pretty good, I was nervous about wearing it to work.  I wanted to flat iron it so badly!  I took a deep breath and out I went.  The boss actually liked it.  I did put a hair barrette in but by the end of the day I was almost digging it.

So what is the point?  Honestly, I hope to learn to love me as I am, waves and all.  I really don't ever want Audrey to look in the mirror and hate her reflection.  How can I expect that from her if I don't feel that way?  Why my hair is an issue to me I really don't know but I'm locking away flat iron and maybe even the blow dryer.  I am already discovering that I need a haircut.  I think I'll get more bounce with a little less length and a few more layers.  I'm thinking I might need different hair products too.  I'm going to do it.  I'm going to go natural and love it, right?

Wordless Wednesday: Wheatless spaghetti

Sunday - Suspicions and Spaghetti

So Sunday I decided to get Audrey out of the house.  She stays at home with my mom and doesn't hang too much with other children so I try to get her out of the house when I can.  With the super hot Texas summer, cool places are hard to find but luckily the local mall has an indoor playland.  Off to the mall we went.

It was like any other trip to the mall.  She played and insisted I take video.  She had a grand ol' time.  After a walk around the mall, we headed back to the playland.  It was packed.  Kids everywhere!  She was having fun.  I soon as we got there I was scoping out parents and kids.  Seeing who belonged to who; checking to make sure the older kids didn't hurt Audrey or the other smaller kids.  A couple, I'm thinking a mom and son, caught my eye.  No children were going up to them.  They weren't calling after any kids.  They were just sitting there.  Part of the reason I noticed them is because they looked 'mixed' like Audrey but there were no 'mixed' children playing besides Audrey.  I noticed they were watching Audrey and me.  I got a bad feeling.  I got Audrey and we headed home.  Maybe they were super nice but tired people and just needed a place to sit (there were four benches within 10 feet).  Maybe they planned no harm to my child.  I was taking no chances.  It felt bad so we left.  Better to be over protective than have a regret.

After the mall and church, my DH had lovely gluten-free dinner for us.  Spaghetti!  Audrey and I love pasta (I know, it is so cruel).  We're lucky that we have found a rice pasta that we love from Tinkyada that I think is just like the real thing.  So we were enjoying family time with spaghetti and Udi's bread with garlic spread.  I said to DH, " you know if anyone came in right now, they won't be able to tell we are eating totally gluten-free."  It was a nice feeling to feel like a regular Americana family.  Toddler in the high chair grubbing and wearing spaghetti.  DH and I fighting over garlic bread.  We were normal.

So that was Sunday.  Suspicions and spaghetti, I wonder what the week will bring.

Tracfone for you?

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of TracFone for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

So I am all for Tracfone.  My parents both use TracFone and I have friend who has had TranFone for years.  For a few months to keep expenses down DH and I also had TracFones.  In fact I wish we still had TracFone, this contract thing is for birds!  Here are some more real TracFone customers just follow the link to learn more.

Why go with a pre-paid wireless?  The cost!  Surprisingly the coverage with TracFone is great and because I know the number of minutes I have left I can budget my time and money.  Here are real TracFone customers signing the praises of no surprise phone bills.  TracFone offers the least expensive way to own and use a cell phone in American!

If you have children, the TracFone allows you give your kids a phone without worrying about blowing your budget.  They have phone but you have control.  The kids get a brand name phone like a Motorola, Kyocera, LG, Nokia and Samsung and you can pick a simple "Candy Bar" phone to a Bluetooth-enabled "Smart" phone and not go over budget.  Because there are no contracts, no credit checks, no activation charges or cancelation fees there are also no surprises!  We're talking phones with so many features and did I mention no contract!

Here are some of the awesome features:

Monthly Plans:

• Pay as you go online or with cards available at thousands of retail stores across the country.

• 1 year service cards give you so much more. Receive double minutes for the life of your TracFone, and 800 minutes, for only $119.00

• “Double minutes for the life of your phone” is a feature that can be purchased separately for only$19.99, but some phones include it!
• Choose monthly plans with 200 minutes for under $30.00, and as low as $9.99 for 50 minutes.

International Long Distance:

• This is the only wireless service where you can call internationally, for the same price as any other call.

• Call over 60 international destinations directly from your TracFone at no extra cost!  My parents use theirs to call family in Mexico.

• With the International Neighbors program, you can provide family and friends in Mexico or Canada a local phone number in those countries to reach you at your TracFone in the U.S.

Phone Selection:

• Simple phones for simple needs, calling and texting capabilities for under $10.00

• Great phones packed with features like camera/video recorder, web access, app capabilities, mp3 player, and full QWERTY keyboard, for $29.99 

So many choices, so little money.  I say give TracFone a look if you are in the market for a wireless phone.

Here's a youtube clip on the reliability of having a TracFone.  Just because you have a contract doesn't mean you always have service.  Just saying :)

Here is a short video on the LG Tracfone phone.  My mom has this phone and loves it!

 

Just a short video on the cool features of the Samsung phone:

Wordless Wednesday: I love Daddy!

I am a breastfeeding nazi?

I am a breastfeeding nazi.  I am a breastfeeding nazi!

So I bet you can guess what has been on my mind lately.  The first week of August was World Breastfeeding Week so my facebook feed had a lot of breastfeeding articles and I also attended a W.B.W event at the local WIC office.  I was just being me and I guess that means that I am a breastfeeding nazi.  At least that is how some people see me.  I'm militant.  I'm in your face.  I'm opinionated.  I'm judgmental.

Strangely I just don't see myself that way.  I mean yes I am big into breastfeeding.  Yes I am an open lactivist.  I have never jumped on a mom for using formula.  I have never told a mom she's evil for not breastfeeding.  I have never done those things because I don't believe those things.  I know that everybody is just doing the best they can. 

Now with that said, I will never say that formula is as good as breastmilk.  There are trues and that is one of them.  Breastmilk is the normal food for babies.  I like the way that Dr. Darcia Narvaes said it, formula is emergency food.  So if my scientifically backed assessment of formula means I'm a breastfeeding nazi then sure I'm a breastfeeding nazi.  I know "they" mean it as a bad thing but I just look at it to mean that I stood up for my belief and that bother someone else.  Their problem not mine. 

I won't back down to make someone else feel better.  If you formula feed then that is what you do.  I know that the formula companies thank you for your money and hope that you will always turn to formula.  If you have children in the future and you want to try breastfeeding please do.  Just because you formula feed one child doesn't mean you can't breastfeed the next.  I'm hoping that women will make decisions for themselves rather than let the formula company or the doctor or the hospital make it for them.  Do what works for you not what someone tells you to do. 

I would love for every baby to get at least colostrum.  Every ounce counts.  I would love for people to be open to the idea of extended breastfeeding.  I would for people to realize that just because I'm pro-breastfeeding doesn't make me a nazi but I'm sure I'll win the lottery first.  Anyways, that's what has been on my mind.

Wheat filled panic

Last Friday I had a moment of panic followed by a moment of being overwhelmed.  We were at the indoor playarea at the mall.  Since Audrey doesn't go to daycare I try to take her places where she can meet other children and play and with the Texas heat it needs to be indoors.  She loves the slide in the area and just climbs and slides, climbs and slides.  Love to hear go "WWEEEEEEEE" during each slide and of course the instant clapping and fit of giggles. 

So the panic was this, there is a TV area where Audrey likes to see and watch herself on camera.  I noticed and then she noticed that there was something orangy on the floor next to her.  First thought in my head "goldfish."  I instantly grabbed it to make sure she didn't pop it in her mouth.  Now how long this orangy thing had been there I have no clue.  It was a top, no wheat but nothing something that any child should be eating.  I panicked; I dashed; I tried to make sure my baby would be okay.  After a moment of relief, I just had a moment of being overwhelmed with the whole allergy thing.  I hated that I was so worried.  I hated that no other parent had freaked out and grabbed this thing.  I hated that it felt so unfair.  I should have worried that she would choke on a piece of plastic not that she would eat a damn goldfish.  I hated the whole situation.

After my little pity party, I got some clarity and then later a true reality check.  I mean I am so lucky.  Audrey's allergy isn't going to kill her.  There are so many moms that have to deal with deadly allergies and all I have to worry about is a horrible stomach ache and broken out skin.  But it is a big deal to me.  I don't want my daughter to hurt.  If I can prevent the pain then I try to.  Later that night on the way home we got milkshakes.  No big deal, right?  Well Audrey and DH both spent the night in agony.  So there I had been worried about a goldfish and the turned around and fed her wheat anyways.  I didn't even think to ask about the milkshake base.  Yeah, I worry and things still get by me.  I guess you can say I'm still learning the ropes.

1 year wheatfree

So Audrey and I are celebrating our one year anniversary of being totally wheat free.  Which means it's been a year since Audrey was released from the hospital for a UTI.  While the doctor never said so (since she's a twit and doesn't believe in the food/body connection) I totally believe it was our eating wheat like it was going out of style for the two months prior that lead to the UTI. 

To be honest, I had been ignoring the signs of her allergy.  The broken out skin, the gas, the night fits, I had my head in the sand.  Thinking back now, I don't know why or how I could do that.  I was upset about the move and all I wanted to was feel normal to eat like a normal person.  So I did.  So we did.  So Audrey paid for it.  All my fault.

Once we brought our baby home I went totally wheat-free.  With the exception of communion each Sunday, I've had no wheat for the last year.  I do miss wheat.  There are times I watch people eat doughtnuts or hamburgers and think man I really want to eat one.  Just one bite can't hurt.  But it does so I don't. 

I got a Facebook comment from a momma who is going gluten-free for her child.  I could hear the stress in her comment and it made me realize that I don't talk too much about my wheatless life, anymore.  Once I came to see it as my normal, once I stopped fighting it, I just stopped talking about it.  I'll try to remember to talk about the struggles.  To remember that helplessness I felt when I first when wheatfree and the joy/calm that still comes over me when I meet other wheatless folk.  So I'll try to share tips and reviews and the such. 

So tip number 1, if you have just gone wheatless/gluten-free know that you are not alone.  Know you can do it.  Know that it is okay to morn the loss of wheat. 

Wordless Wednesday: I think I like your bed better

All breastfeeding ends

So with this being World Breastfeeding Week, I've been thinking alot about breastfeeding (shocking I know).  I was thinking that all breastfeeding ends.  As you can see by my breastfeeding timeline, I've been nursing for close to 20 months.  That means I'm starting to get looks and have been getting comments like really, gross, well different strokes for different folks.  I don't mind the last one.  I mean everyone is different and for everyone breastfeeding ends.  If you go 1 week, 1 year or until baby/child stops it all ends.  Nobody breastfeeds forever.

So that brings me to my breastfeeding journey.  My plan was to make it to 2 years.  24 months is the minimum recommendation from the World Health Organization.  So I've always wanted to make it to two years but past that I really don't know.  I know many women who are comfortable with a 3 year breastfeeding but not many that go past 4 years.  Where is my comfort level?  I want to be the momma that lets Audrey decide when to stop.  I want to be okay with going 4 years plus but I just don't think I'm that woman.  I think once we start pushing 4 years, I will begin actively weaning.  Does that make me a hypocrite?

If I preach baby-led weaning does me actively weaning mean I am not practicing what I preach?  I mean my feeling might change.  I might not actively ever wean.  Audrey could quit tomorrow.  You would think that I would be actively trying to wean Audrey even now.  I've been wheatfree for a year!  But don't think the thought hasn't crossed my mind.  No one would blame me for weaning.  No one would think twice about me telling Audrey to get over and shoving a doughnut in my face but I wouldn't be able to look at myself.  When my Audrey was born I looked at her and said I would give my life for her and that is what I'm doing; granted for now it's wheat but you know what I mean. 

So anyways, yes Audrey is still breastfeeding.  At lunchtime, when I get home from work, and a few times at night.  Very normal for a toddler her age and nothing I can't handle.  I know there will be a time when I offer and she'll turn to run after the dogs instead (heck she does that even now).  I won't see it coming or maybe I will.  I might even actively pursue it.  After all all breastfeeding relationships end at some point.

Wordless Wednesday: Multi-tasking Toddler

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I present Audrey nursing and using the iPhone!

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

Just wanted to share a little song with you.  One of my favorites when it comes to promoting breastfeeding.  So in honor of World Breastfeeding Week:

Bittersweet Birthday

Today is Baby J's first birthday, which means it's Brianna's one year death anniversery.  As DH said, it's a bittersweet day.  When I realized what today was I had to hold back tears.  DH also pointed out how many almost bittersweet birthdays there are in our families.  He almost had a bittersweet birthday; his nephew and my brothers' too. 

I know prior to Audrey's birth, DH's father was very worried about my survival of a homebirth.  Both of his parent's mother's died in or right after childbirth.  Childbirth is natural and death is natural but that doesn't mean we don't worry. 

Today I say a prayer for all of the people with bittersweet birthdays.  Today I also plan to give my Audrey extra hugs and kisses.  I want to live to give thanks to God for Audrey and for the opportunity to raise her.  Instead of getting mad that she won't go to sleep or that she knocked my glasses off my face, I'll smile and thank God.  I know not all of us get the chance to complain about sleeplessness.  So here's to you Brianna.  With your life you taught me to be kind to the least of God's children and with your death you taught me to be grateful for each day.  Happy Birthday Baby J.

Thrush Again!

So you know I'm passionate about breastfeeding.  Part of the reason so many mom's give up on breastfeeding is the lack of help when it comes to dealing with problems.  The problem that almost sunk my breastfeeding was THRUSH!  I hate thrush.

I first got thrush when I had been breastfeeding about 3 weeks.  I leaked and still leak like a loose faucet and I decided to save money by buying cheap thin nursing pads.  So cheap that they trapped the milk next to my skin and I developed a yeast infection on my boobs, thrush.  Yes, it's just like a yeast infection in your vajayjay and it is treated about the same.

My problem was that I didn't get help as soon as I had a problem.  I thought it was my latch.  I thought it was not nursing enough.  I didn't ask for help.  By the time I got help I was literally on my knees at night crying for hours the pain was so bad.  One time Audrey tried to latch and I screamed and then she screamed and we both cried for an hour.  It was bad.

I ended up going to my gyn/ob for an RX for diflucan (sp?).  I had to go through two rounds!  I also used Grapefruit Seed Extract and coconut oil.  It was a good month before it was totally gone.  Don't wait!  If you think you might have a problem ask for help.  Ask a friend, a local La Leach League leader, heck send me an email but don't suffer to the point of quitting, besides it hurts!

Here are some links that I found very help and that I turn to, even now going through thrush for the 4 time!

Dr. Jay Gordon: Identifying Thrush and how to use Grapefruit seed extract

KellyMom: Thrush Resources

Coconut Oil for Thrush Treatment

La Leche League - Thrush

Hope a momma with thrush finds this helpful.

Seven "Siete"

Ruby from Growing up BLACKXICAN tagged me to participate in this new Tag named Seven "Siete"
So here we go:

The rules are to share a blog post in each of the following seven categories:


#1 Most Beautiful Post

The sweetest moments


#2 Most Popular Post

Fear of Birth


#3 Most Controversial Post

Sons


#4 Most Helpful Post

Giveaways to know about



#5 A Post Whose Success Surprised Me

Cloth diapering on the cheap



#6 A Post that Didn’t Get the Attention I Felt It Deserved

When you stop fighting



#7 Post I'm Most Proud Of

Shut your pie-hole Crunchy Bitch



Now to tag 7 people: (okay so I'm tagging 7 blogs worth your time)



1. Naturalmente Mama

2. Growing up Blackxican

3.The Marci Factor

4. Party of 5 and counting

5. Blacktating - no longer a good breastfeeding site :(  now it's just porn

6. The Mahogany Way

7. Mom's Depot

Go check these blogs out.  They are awesome!

Wordless Wednesday: Dino dig

Coming out of the closet

Okay so not really that kind of news but it kinda is.  I have officially finished all of my work towards becoming a LLL Leader!  I have my letter in the mail and then I will be official official.  It's nice to be able to say it out loud!  They ask us not to talk about ourselves as leader applicants so this is my official coming out. 
I'm excited about starting to host meetings and helping moms.  While I've always helped moms, I have more questions in my inbox about breastfeeding than anything, I hope that now that I have some training I might be more help. 
I know that I can come across as militant but really I just want to help mom's reach their personal breastfeeding goals. For me that goal is 2 years, anything past that is gravy.  I know for some moms it's 1 month.  But whatever the goal, I'm here to help.   Really that is every LLL leaders goal.  I know there are some leaders out there that confuse the situation and try to make everyone a militant AP mom but that ain't me.  I can live no one else life and they can't live mine.  What works for me, won't necessarily work for anyone else.  We all do what we can, the best we can.
So anyways, I'm here I breastfeed ask away :)

Parenting style

So DH and I were discussing the type of parents we want to be.  I know it seems a little late but everything you think you know about parenting is no where near close to what you learn about yourself and your child once you actually are a parent.  So now that we've been doing this for 19 months, what do we think?

Part of this discussion is DH constant need to monitor Audrey's health.  I don't mean just watch and keep notes but obsess.  I think having been burned by a few doctors as a child (he nearly died) and a couple of bad doctors for our Audrey, he just wants to make sure nothing passes him by.  Me, I try to be chill.  Not every fever means death or horrible disease.  The older she gets the less bad disease and the such are, right?

He did say something that scared me.  He said he wanted to be a helicopter dad!  Scary!  I understand what he means.  I want to be watchful.  I want to be careful but I need to also let go.  No calling college professors to ask about grades.  No calling the boss to ask about performance reviews.  So how do you raise an independent child but make sure they grow up fairly healthy and protected?

Not sure about this one.  The Casey Anthony trial and the little boy in New York plus way too many E! specials on young murders just makes me freak out and want to never let her out of my sight.  DH is very pro-public high school.  Me, I don't like the idea of public schools at all (9 years as a public educator ruined it for me).  We've talked about unschooling her.  As is Audrey has like 80 words down and is learning her ABCs and 1, 2, 3s just by chatting with her.  But again it's about her being safe not really education.  Is she safe at a school?  Is she safe anywhere?  If not then what does that mean for our family?  Being a parent is such a balancing act between freaking out about everything and letting go.  Much harder than I thought originally.  So what is our parenting style?  I'm going with work in progress for us all.

Wordless Wednesday: Jaba the Baby!

Finding local support

So I work with the public at my day job.  I get to meet so many cool people.  Nothing rocks my world more than meeting people that know where I'm coming from both as a wheatless person and as a crunchy momma.  I think it's really helpful to know you are not alone.  Yes, you can go online and find out that you are not alone.  But when you meet a person in real life, that lives where you live, it just makes you feel less alone.

I feel like less of a freak.  I've joked about starting a support group but at the same time I'm not joking.  I know there are other people who feel like I feel.  The person I met today was so interested in talking and sharing tips.  Tips that make my life easier, like where to eat and where to shop locally.  Maybe I will start a group.  I could do a group for the local wheatless folk and another for the crunchy/crunchy-ish parents.  Do you think anyone would show?

Wordless Wednesday: Bucket Baby

I am an asshole

So it's been a year since I moved to Texas.  I've tired to get over being mad at DH for the way the move went down (it was total chaos).  I've tried to let go of the sadness over things lost in the move (Audrey's birth certificate).

Since the move, three of my VA friends have become mothers.  One passed away in childbirth (B).  She is one that has made me appreciate my life more.  So why the asshole thing?  Immediately after B's death I made a promise to keep in better contact with people.  She was there one moment and gone the next.  I never got to thank her for all of the help she gave me after Audrey's birth.  She checked on me.  She cooked for me.  She made sure I wasn't so alone when I could not have felt more alone. 

An yet I'm a total asshole.  I don't call people.  I don't write.  I barely blog updates anymore.  I want to blame my job.  I want to blame DH.  I want to blame Audrey.  I'm a professional woman by day, a mother to a toddler by night and at some point it would be good to be a decent wife.  Between all of that when could I possibly have time for anything else. 

 I have two local friends that I have been dying to see.  I moved back to Texas a year ago and still haven't seen them!  I moved back to Texas a year ago and I have only been to San Marcos/San Antonio once so my friends in that area haven't been visited in almost a year.

Yep, I'm an asshole.  At some point I have to put the blame in the right place and that is squarely on my shoulders.  I finally have some vacation coming up.  I'm thinking it's time for a trip to SM/SA.  I'm going to make lunch plans with my local girls.  I'm going to finally return some phone calls.

One year ago today

So a year ago today we left Virginia, well we left Danville. We wound up spending the night in Roanoke that night so we actually left VA the next day.

We had moved three times before and yet this was the first time we actually had friends to help us. Don't know what we would have done without K & L!

DH asked me why I was sad when I was thinking about the move. I'm not sad. There are few things I miss about Danville. Outside of my friends from Southside VA I have everything I need. But it marks the last time of many things. The last time I ever saw B/will ever see her. The many friends who promised I would see them at least once more we left. The last time we would ever be in the house where Audrey was born. My whole changed in that house. I became a mom to two fur-babies and then a real baby. I finally found a job I loved and friends. I grew up.

When we moved to VA we were kids with nothing to our names but degrees. We came back to Texas as parents, as grown ups. I do miss parts of my life in Virginia but our move to Texas was beyond the right thing to do.

I didn't want to want to move back. I thought I meant that I had failed. Turns out it means that I was letting go and Letting God take the wheel. The move is a success. I hope we'll make a trip back soon but I know we'll be going back next summer for K & L's wedding. I can't wait. Virginia was nice but I'm a Texas girl at heart.

Audrey's words

Now that my little baby is all toddler I have decided to type up a list of her words. 
So here we go:

1.  No
2.  Eyes
3. Hair
4.  Ears
5. Nose
6. Cheeks
7. Teeth
8. Eyebrow
9. Arms
10.  Apple
11.  Juice
12.  Water
13.  Out
14.  Side
15.  Walking
16.  Boob
17.  Gibby (which is what she calls her pacifier)
18.  Barney
19.  Mama
20.  Daddy
21.  Puppy
22.  Yasmin (our dog Jasmin)
23. Noopy (our dog Snoopy)
24. Sleepy
25. Peepee
26. Poop
27. Please
28. Thank you
29. Wecome (Welcome)
30. Amen
31. Elephant
32. Pig
33. Cow
34. Fish
35. Duck/Dog (She is still confusing these two)
36. Mouse
37. Sheep
38. More
39. Night (short for good night)
40. Bye
41. Agua (water in Spanish)

I think that is just about everything in her vocabulary.  Of course her number one word is "No!"  The rest she uses as needed.  Pretty good list, I think, but then I am a bit biased :)

The wheat challenge

So about a month ago, Audrey visited the allergist.  She had the skin tests done, everything was negative.  She also had blood tests done about a week later and those results also negative.  So what is a mother to do?  Challenge the diet.

You would think I would happy and jumping for joy.  No more wheatlessness, horray!  Not really.  I remember the screaming, the horrible skin, the baby that was so unhappy.  Why would I want to do that again?  But you have to take the plunge, right?

We decided to try it.  First just Audrey having a little bit of wheat.  She had a chicken nugget from Chick-fil-a.  Her reaction that night, not too bad.  She seems more irritable than normal but no midnight screaming fits.  That was Saturday; Monday she had a tempuraed shrimp.  Again nothing bad that night.  So we move on to Friday, now it was time for me and Audrey to both go back to wheat.  I had onion rings and a crawfish salad (crawfish were breaded).  Audrey was allowed to eat anything off our plates, as usual.  That night, not so good.  She was not a happy child.  No screaming fit but she was scratching all night.  The next day her skin didn't look bad but by Sunday the poor baby had her whole back covered in eczema. 

We are wheatless once again.  We are also sleeping pretty close to the whole night.  We are unsure of what do.  Tests say no allergy but her skin is reacting.  DH has a wheat allergy so being wheatless really should be a must for him.  Honestly I'm feeling a bit clueless.  We go back to allergist next week.  I guess we'll see then what the next recommended step might be.

Store Brand Formula

This post brought to you by storebrandformula.com. All opinions are 100% mine.

So I'm sure your are wondering why a Lactiavist, La Leche League member, and proud breastfeeding mom is talking about formula.  Well it comes down to this, I think all women should research anything they are choosing for their children.  So if you decided that formula is right for you, then you chosen the right formula for your child.

Now I think that it is unfair for moms to be given formula at the hospital.  I mean whether they mean to or not, it is basically an endorsement by the hospital/doctor/staff of whatever brand they place in a mom's hand.  I mean if the doctor gives it to me it has to be the best, right?  Even I was given formula by my pro-breasfeeding doctor!  Formula samples are everywhere.  So with so much free name-brand formula how is a mom to really chose the best thing for their child

I don't endorse formula.  I don't use formula.  But I will say this, from my research, store-brand formula and name-brand formula is the same thing.  Even a U.S. Circuit Court upheld a $13.5 million false advertising claim against Enfamil maker Mead Johnson basically for claiming that Enfamil was better than store-brand formula.  So it is legal precedent that store-brand and name-brand are basically the same.  Here is what the judge said:

“As the litigation history of the parties demonstrates, despite having twice been restrained from disseminating misleading advertising, Mead Johnson [maker of Enfamil] continued to do so,” Circuit Judge Andre Davis wrote. “PBM [company that brought suit/formula maker] cannot fairly compete with Mead Johnson unless and until Mead Johnson stops infecting the marketplace with misleading advertising.”

The court found that Enfamil’s advertisements of superiority to store brand formulas were false and misleading because store brand formulas offer the same nutrients at the same levels as Enfamil.  So name-brand has better advertising not a better product. Think about it, when was the last time you saw an ad for store-brand formula.  Now think about the last time you saw one for name-brand.  I'm watching TV now and can't get away from formula ads. 

So basically my take is this: research.  Don't let the free sample sway you.  Don't let the TV ads sway you.  If store-brand and name-brand are basically the same then save those hard earned pennies.  There is no reason to pay the extra money for a fancy name.

Click here: for more information

or go to storebrandformula.com

Wordless Wednesday: co-sleeping fun

Just a few minutes before the day starts.

The great baptism debate

So I'm Catholic and in theory so is Audrey.  DH is not Catholic.  He was raised Baptist but is currently without church.  I like most cradle Catholics was baptized as a baby.  Audrey is 17 months old and is still not baptized.  This is a point of debate for DH and I.

DH is actually okay with us baptizing Audrey.  I've been the issue to this point.  See a few months back DH and I were debating circumcision for any future sons; DH is pro-circ and I am anti-circ.  We reached a compromise!  DH said that if our sons were going to choose to be circ-ed later in life then they should also be able to choose to be baptized.  I can live with that.  If I want my future sons to make the decision to be circumcised then I can understand that they should also choose to be baptized.

But this leaves the issue of the girls and right now Miss Audrey.  If the boys get to choose then shouldn't Audrey?  I grew up with visions of choosing baptismal gowns that would be passed down to grandchild.  But should I really impose that on Audrey?  I love being Catholic.  I have my issues but I like going to Mass.  I love the prayers and the rituals.  Audrey goes to church with me.  Audrey has missed Mass maybe twice since we started going out at week 3 postpartum.  If I go, Audrey is with me.  The kid is Catholic.  One of her words is "Amen" and she knows to say it at the end of a prayer.  She is learning to cross herself and hold her hands together to pray.  Does she need to be baptized at this point in her life? 

At first I didn't get Audrey baptized because we lived so far from family.  They missed my whole pregnancy.  They missed newborn Audrey.  I wanted them there for her baptism.  We have also been at an impass over Godparents.  Who do we chose?  We knew very few practicing Catholics and even less that we would trust with Audrey's religious life.  So I have no clue what to do.  I am praying and staying open to God's plan and hoping for guidance.  I feel like the window for baptizing her is closing.  If we wait til she's 3 then why not just wait til she wants to be baptized.  I just don't know!

It is amazing what you can do when you don't have a choice

So I've heard it so many times, "I couldn't do it.  I have no idea how you . . . "

The . . . can be just about anything in my life.  The wheat-freeness, breastfeeding a toddler, babywearing, co-sleeping, or the homebirthing.  I think in this country we have been TV fed the idea that we can't do things.  We can't wear a baby it's not safe you must have a stroller.  Breastfeeding, why would you do that when you can just give the baby formula.  Home birth, are you stupid?  Only a doctor is qualified to deliver a baby.  You'll die without an epidural; you can't handle the pain.  Why do we buy into all of those things?  It is amazing how powerful we are as humans, as women, as moms. 

Now I'll admit that I have chosen my crunchy wheatfree life.  Yes, I could have gone to the hospital and had an epidural.  Yes, I can stop breastfeeding and kill a hamburger.  Yes, she would cry but I could move Miss Audrey to her own bed.  Why not buy a stroller?  These are choices that I have made and therefore I am choosing to live my life this way.  But what about things that you don't have a choice about?

I have a friend who had PUP, which if you don't know what it is Google it.  She actually told me that she didn't know how I live wheat-free.  I am in awe of her.  She had PUP and let her baby be born on his own time.  Most women with PUP have an induction at 38 weeks, the stress on the body and the mental strain are incredible.  She ended up going for almost 42 weeks, a full month more than the norm.  She is incredible!  If she can do that she can do anything.  Makes going wheat-free seem so small.

So what can we do if we 'have' to?  People have super human strength when they need to save their child.  We are amazing creatures.  You could go wheat-free.  It's not that hard.  People are doing it for fun.  If your health depended on it, you could do it.  Don't even get me started on the crunchy life.  Trust me you can do it.  Life is all about choices.  My choices are my own and yes they are not for everyone but just because you didn't doesn't mean you couldn't. 

Time flies

 I have been thinking about the passage of time.  This year is my 10 year college reunion.  So hard to believe it's been ten years!  I loved my Hollins days but I won't be able to make it to reunion this year.  Between the new job (no vacation) and lack of fundage there will be no traveling to Roanoke this year.  Maybe next time.

This time of year has so much meaning for me.  My birthday is Thursday.  I'll be 32.  This is time of year also marks the 14th anniversary of my grandmother's death.  Hard to forget that one since it was right before I graduated from high school, right before my birthday.  So there are lots of things on my mind and yet nothing to write about.  Funny how that happens.

Wheatless no more?

So on Tuesday, Audrey saw an allergist.  I was not impressed with the doctor and I was most certainly not impressed with hour long wait.  You could tell the doctor doesn't work with many little children.  But anyways, as part of the visit Audrey was subjected to allergy testing, the one where they rub the allergens on you.  She did not react to a single one.  Not one! 

Good news?  I've been processing the news for a bit.  The doctor has ordered blood allegry tests.  She said that food allergens can hide in the blood and not show up in the other kind of testing.  We are still avoiding wheat until we know for sure.  The doctor also said that Audrey has very senstive skin and dry skin so we need to lotion her twice a day everyday.  My parents took the news as a good sign.  They have a normal grandchild.  I think they are making plans for a "real" cake.  I still worry about her.  The eczema is still real.  The gas pain in the middle of the night is still real.  What is the cause? 

Sponsored Blog: Walgreens Flexible Fabric Bandages

This is a compensated post written by me on behalf of Walgreens. All opinions are 100% mine.

I recently had the chance to try Walgreens' Flexible Fabric Adhesive Bandages.  As a mom, bandages are a must in your mom tool kit.  Kids use and need bandages.  You have need to buy them, but if you are like me you are on a budget.  How can you keep your tool kit stocked without emptying your wallet?  Personally I go with Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Products.  Buying store brands keeps you ready with stock on hand without busting your budget. Basically you save a dollar with Walgreens vs the name brand without ever clipping a coupon!

But I know you know that ,so why the Walgreens?  How did they do?  Can I trust a store brand?  Aren't name brands better?  Honestly, I found the Walgreens worked just as well as the name brand.  I actually like the Flexible Fabric Bandages better.  I tried the old move the bandage after I already placed it and they moved without a problem.  They stayed flexible and stuck very well to my skin.  I wore it on my knee and it stayed close to the skin no matter what position I placed my knee!  I know I've used bandages that lift when you move your knee but this kept my cut protected.  Unlike some bandages there is a small edge around the pad so it will stick and keep your wound clean and protected. 

Part of the reason I like Walgreens so much is the Walgreens Way to Well Fund™, every purchase of every Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Product supports bringing preventive wellness services to local communities!   The Walgreens Way to Well Fund™ will provide FREE preventive health tests as well as other health and wellness services and education to local communities. Some of those services will include preventive health tests through the National Urban League Health & Wellness Tour and vouchers redeemable in select stores.  Walgreens will contribute up to $3 million annually to the Walgreens Way to Well Fund™. So just by buying a Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Product, you are helping local communities receive preventive care.  As we all know, a preventive approach to health care keeps people healthy and out of the hospital. 

So the long and the short:  I like the bandages.  They work, they are affordable and they help the community.  So between the saving money and Walgreens Way to Well Fund™, it is a no brainer, go to Walgreens. 

My greener period

So I've been slowly trying to green up my life.  I figured that it didn't make sense to cloth diaper but use disposable pads myself.  Besides I was getting so sick of missing my pad all together so I decided to try to Instead Soft Cup. 

Why the Instead?
Reason 1:  I could buy it right off the store shelf.  I had just missed my pad again and I was not going to take it laying down.  I had to do something now!  I headed to CVS and bought a box.  About $7 for 14 cups.
Reason 2: I had used them before.  Way back in my Hollins days, I had heard some girls talk about the cup and I tried.  After leaving my bathroom looking like a murder scene I gave up.

Findings:
Well this time around I tried for two periods.  I did use back up, a pad, but didn't need it, mostly.  I did struggle to put it in place properly.  I think with more practice I"ll get it down.  My second month I got it in place twice!  Now the placement is very important but I found that even if I didn't place it just right I still didn't get the horrible bloody butt of shame that comes from an accident.  I would just pour/empty directly into the toilet.  It was much easier.  The times I got it in place just right where wonderful.  Nothing on my pad.  Nothing in the toilet.  It was like not having a period at all!

I did also notice that my period was shortened by a day.  Instead of my five day cycle, using the Instead soft cup I only had four days.  I have no clue why.  I know that other women have reported the same thing.  Maybe it just because you are catching it at the source instead of just running out of you so you have one day less of mess.  Whatever the reason I was super happy.

I didn't have any issue with putting my fingers in there or touching my period.  That is so high school!  I've given birth at home in my livingroom.  No point in getting grossed out now! :)  I know it would bother some people but I was cool.  

I feel like it was worth my time and money.  I will have to buy more before my next cycle since I don't have enough to last me but they are at my local CVS and Walmart so I don't really have to plan ahead.

I am hoping to buy a Diva Cup.  I hear it sits lower in the vagina so the placement is easier.  We'll see.  Unfortunately, the Dive Cup does require some preplanning since you have to order it.  I am also hoping for kit from LunaPads.  I really want to ditch the disposable pads.  If Audrey gets cloth then I want some too!

We'll see how my greening efforts go. 

PS This is totally my opinion.  Instead did not pay me :( to say anything for them.  I bought the box and just wanted to report my findings.  On to the Diva Cup!

My self esteem/downsizing my pants

So on Saturday I headed to Old Navy to find a new Easter dress. I had no luck finding a dress but while there I decided to try on some new pants. Since going wheat free I have lost close to 40 lbs and nothing fits. I'm cheap so I hate to spend money on clothes but people have been making comments so I have to break down and buy some new pants.

So anyways back to Old Navy, I grabbed the size 16 and to my surprise they fit. I wasn't ready for that. For some reason that really shocked me. The pants did just fit they fit! Like the holy Grail of pants, I looked great, felt great, and had no camel toe. I left the store without them. I'm not ready for the 16s in my head. In my head I'm still a size 22 and I'm not sure about my new reality.

I feel good. DH likes me at any size. I know I need new clothes. My jeans fell off my butt while I was jumping with Audrey! I guess what I also need is a reality check. My butt is smaller that doesn't mean anything other than my butt is smaller. Great now that I ran from the prefect pants, which were on sale, I'll never find them again. But even worse, I'll have to pay full price! Anyways, that was my Saturday.

Wordless Wednesday: Brush your teeth

Spot the Crunchy Mama

So I have been thinking about how I've changes since high school. Now that I live in my hometown I run into folks from high school but needless to say I ain't the same chick. Back in the day I wanted to be mainstream, all-American, and normal. I've moved to the other direction since Audrey's birth so how is the man on the street suppose to know that offering me a cut in on half-price formula could earn him a kick to the balls? So I have made a small checklist, how to spot the crunchy mama (while you are doing your once over.).

The list is not at all scientific or researched just basically my musings. So in no particular order:

As you approach do you see

Or maybe

You might have a crunchy mama. This is known as babywearing. Notice there is no stroller but baby is on mama's back sound asleep.

You might also notice that baby has a necklace made of amber. This is known as an Amber teething necklace. It helps with teething and growing pains. Yes it works why would crunchy mama spend the money otherwise? Here is a pic:

Does the baby have a very big butt? This could be the sign of a cloth diaper! Yes they make them and people buy and use them. Most crunchies who cloth diaper can't believe anyone would choose to use disposables, what a waste of money and talk about bad for the environment! Beware discussing cloth vs disposables, a crunchy has researched this topic and can talk for hours!
Big butt:

You might also notice the lack of bottles or pacis. Many crunchies refuse to use either. This crunchy uses both but if I'm with baby you won't usually see a bottle cause I just wipe out a boob to feed the baby. You might just see a boob or two if baby/toddler is very active. Do not be afraid. We don't mind and are use to it. Please ask away but be ready for lots of info! This too is a topic of research!

See by no means a complete list. See what else comes to mind? How can we head a mainstream mama spot the crunchy?

Wordless Wednesday: glutenfree pineapple upside down cake

I'm a loser

Okay, so I've got several friends who have babies and I've noticed many talking about sending the baby to granny's for a night.  I have not spent the night away from Audrey and she's 15 months old so needless to say I began feeling like I was a weirdo or really a loser.  What is wrong with me?  Why haven't I sent my baby away for an overnight visit?  She should have time to bond with her grandparents, right?

So I did what every modern mom does, I hit Twitter up with the question, when did you first leave your child for the night?  I mean maybe I"m damaging my child.  So the responses were overwheleming at least 2 years old  and one mom said 4 years old.  This made me feel less like a weirdo.  I'm not the only momma refusing to leave her baby for the night.  But I was thinking about it.  Is my sample actually "normal"?  I mean I follow and am followed by people who think like me.  Most of the people I follow are AP parents, lactivist, and homebirth activist, not exactly mainstream America. 

I don't think I'm any closer to finding out if I'm normal or not with question to the whole leaving your baby thing.  I guess I have to fall back on the old, "it feels right to me."  I guess I also need to do some research on "normal" ages that children spend the night away from their parents.  I know for me, Audrey spending the night down the hall won't happend until she's nightweaned.  She still searchs for boob at least twice a night.  I"m in no hurry to wean her at all so it may be a while yet.  So when do you think it's okay to leave baby for the night?

Did you know?

Did you know that soy sauce has wheat? It is usually the second ingredient after water and before soy! Should be called wheat sauce :)

Did you know that premixed cornbread mixes have wheat? Again, usually list wheat flour before cornmeal. But you can make from scratch and use just ground cornmeal.

Did you know that some hair products have wheat? That one caught me totally be surprise. We got a hair oil for Audrey from my MIL and began using it. Made her hair look great but we noticed her head was breaking out. Stopped to read the label and it was the last ingredient! Seriously, why put wheat in there?

IHOP omelets also have pancake batter. I love their omelets but they have wheat so IHOP is totally off of our list of places to eat.

Just thought I would share.

Wordless Wednesday: sleeping beauty

When you stop fighting . . .

So people who don't know me very well are always asking me about my homebirth.  "How in the world did you do that?"  My response is always the same, "When I stopped fighting the pain, the pain went away." 

Saturday, DH and I had a long talk about our current &  future wheat-less life.  He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "When you stop fighting the pain of being wheatless, it will become normal."  He's right.  Now that I've stopped fighting being wheat-less, I am finding it easier to be wheatless.  I'm actually okay with the idea of being wheatless for the rest of my life.

So I guess everything I ever needed to learn I learned during my homebirth.  Okay not really but still, there is a big life lesson.  Stop fighting and go with the flow.  Trust that everything will be okay; trust that if you let go, it can be okay.  As a friend of mine always says, "Let go and Let God."

Slipping thur my fingers

Yes, the title is a reference to the ABBA song. That song played in my head today. Today I put up my pump and Audrey's bottles. I sobbed. I'm crying even now.

I find it so hard to believe that it is that time. I should have put it all up a month ago but I just wasn't ready to let it all go.

She is growing up so fast! I still feel that newborn being placed on my chest for the first time. Now she's 32 inches tall! Where did the time go? Does always move so fast? I keep thinking that I going to turn around and she'll be graduating from college.

Slipping thur my fingers always comes to mind when I think Audrey going up. The time is moving so fast, slipping thur my fingers in deed. The song always makes me cry. I remember how hard I sobbed listening to the song when I was pregnant. I think maybe I cry too easily.

I'm not ready to see Audrey grown up. I want my baby but there is no way but forward. Audrey is no newborn; she is a toddler. I thank God for each moment with her. I know I don't deserve this wonderful girl. So yes it feels like it is all slipping thur my fingers; all moving so quickly.

Wheatless for life?

Can I really do it? Can I really stop eating wheat for the rest of my life? If I commit, can I see it through?
DH and I had a long talk about this topic today. We have decided that our house will be a Wheatless house. We will be a Wheatless family. DH said that we should not kept Wheatless when nit around Audrey. That her allergies are her allergies and no matter what I eat or don't eat I'm not allergic to wheat. His point being i can't suffer for her. He is right. If I keep strictly Wheatless after she weans then it needs to be because I want to not because Audrey has an allergy.
A Wheatless family but not a Wheatless life. Not sure if that makes sense but I'm starting to understand this new phase of my life. While yes my life would be easier if my Audrey didn't have a food allergy, this allergy really has made me a better mom. I don't just shove food in Audrey's mouth or my mouth. I stop and think. I spend time thinking about and reading over food choices. I don't just hand her a cookie. I stop to search for a good wheatfree snack. Honestly, the allergy slows me down and I need to be slown down. I tend to just hurry up and get things done but now I have to stop and read. I know I'll eventually learn what to buy and my shopping and feeding will speed up. So for now I am thankful. Thankful to slow down and focus. Thankful the allergy isn't deadly. Thankful I have my Audrey, allergies and all.

No guaranty on a baby

So the other day my mom told me that I can only have a second baby if I can guaranty the baby would be normal. I know she is joking. She can't wait for me to have another baby but at the same time I can hear the stress that having a wheat-free grandchild has been for both of my parents. On more than one occasion my dad has said that he wishes he could take Audrey out for chicken nuggets and French fries.

I do wonder about the next baby. Will all of my children have a wheat allergy? What was the likelihood that my first child would have DH's allergy? Even if all my future children are "normal," can you have a split house? Everyone but Audrey eating pizza; I don't think that would work. Honestly, I'm beginning to think that I need to think about being wheat-free for the rest of my life. In order for Audrey to be normal being wheat-free needs to be our normal.

DH's parents were also telling us to stop having children. But they were saying that in terms of looks. According to them, Audrey is so cute that any other kids/daughters would not be as cute. Not sure what to say about that one. Maybe Audrey will be the homely one. Maybe my other children won't be as cute.

No baby comes with a guaranty so God willing we'll roll the dice and have another child within the few years. Will the child be 'normal'? Will he/she be as cute? Will we be able to handle more than one child? So many unknowns but then that is what makes life worth living. If I knew all of the answers then there would be no point to living. We must live and learn.