Tear away stripper pants: Part 2 - How-to

So on to the how to actually make tear away stripper pants:  This is just how I did it.  By no means the only way just mine.  I did you McCall's Stitch 'N Save pattern #M5504.  Pictures are forth coming.  Have to find my card reader, sorry.  Here is the link for converting jeans into stripper pants.

"What do you need":
Made from scratch:                             Pulling from the closet:
Fabric                                                  Pants
velcro (hook and loop) sew-on           Velcro
snaps                                                    snaps
elastic
bias seam tape (optional)
pants pattern

1:  Measure.  You need to know your fit.  This is true even you are tearing up a pair of pants to turn into stripper pants.  How much room do you have for the velcro/snaps?

2: Decide on your style.  You starting from scratch or pulling from your closet?

3: Hit the fabric store. 
     My purchases: McCall's M5504, Sew-ology Hook & Loop sew-on in Black (3/4 in. x 36 in.), 3 yards of fabric

4: Lay it out/cut it out.  I made the M5504 in medium to get a tighter fit.  Remember that if you are going to use a fabric with a pattern you might need more to match the direction.  If I had been making the shorts to be the final product I would have matched the lions up but it's prototype to I just laid it out and cut.

5.  Sew the front to back and then the inseam.

6.  Starting thinking.  You would normally sew the outer seam next but you don't want to do that this time since you are tearing away at the outer seam.  This is where the pants become stripper pants.

7.  Bias tape the outer seams.  I did this to add some strength; after all, there will be a lot of pulling on this area.  I had some single sided bias tape here and that is what I used.  I also liked that it help with the hemming since people will see this once the pants are off.

You can see the seam tape I added.

8.  Make the elastic casing on the back.  There will be holes on each side so that you can add the elastic later.  I saved this for after the seam tape so that the waist also had the extra reinforcement.

9. Fold in the front outer seams about an inch.  I did this to add extra reinforcement.  The pants get pulled forward so it's my thinking this area needed all of the reinforcement it could get.  So it will be a double layer of fabric under the velcro/snaps.

10.  Make the casing for the draw string in the front.  Again you'll have the holes on the sides and the middle for the draw string.  Same thing here do it after you use the bias tape and doubling of the fabric.

11. Hem it up.  You could save this for after the next step but I hate it when gatherings get in the way.  If you do them here everything is flat.  Again this is after the bias tape and fabric doubling is done.

12.  Add the elastic and the drawstrings.  I added the draw strings without much thought.  They are adjustable so I didn't really need to measure.  The elastic I put in and sewed on one side only.  I pinned the other end so that I can measure how much elastic we needed.  I hate elastic and I hate ripping out seams so better to wait and get it right the first time.

13.  Time for velcro and/or snaps.  (I used a combo of both. I used snaps at the waist to give a bit more reinforcement and with the elastic I wanted something with a bit more weight. It also means I left the snaps off until after the fitting.) Leave the side with the pin for the elastic undone at the waist so you can measure out your elastic first and then you sew it up.  I used one inch pieces of velcro placed about one inch apart down the legs.  We haven't done a test run yet so this might change.  I sewed the velcro on at the top and bottom.  After a test run I might go back and sew the sides of the velcro if they need more reinforcement.

close up of the snaps and velcro

14.  Try it on and get the elastic measured and sewn. 

15.  Add the waist snaps.

Full length picture.

16. Strip away.

Tear away stripper pants: Part 1 - Why

So I'm doing a 2 part series on tear away stripper pants.  Why two?  Well Part 1 - Why is the background story to the making of, while Part 2 - How-to will be the how-to make stripper pants from a pattern or Part 3 - Converting Jeans into Stripper Pants.  This way if you care why I started making stripper pants you can get the story but if you want to just learn how you can skip the why and go on to making your own.

Why would I ever want to make tear away stripper pants?  It's actually pretty simple, I was fulfilling someone's dream. :)  Actually I won't go that far.  As you have read in the past, there is a man-child I know whom I call Jailbait (who by the way is actually legal but still the name applies in my old teacher brain).  This all begins with him.  I'm no innocent.  I have been to strip bars in my day but never have I ever wanted to make/wear/own tear away pants.  However, JB has been talking about wanting to own such a thing.  How could I knowing that I could make a dream come true deny him?

JB didn't have any idea that I actually sew so it's not like he asked me.  Since I'm staying home with Ravebaby, I've been looking to get back into my old crafty self.  I thought the challenge would be a good brain exercise.  Now my bestest friend, Artsy-Momma, can make anything!  I mean anything.  Just mention it and she will make it.  She doesn't need a pattern or anything.  Not so with me.  If the pattern doesn't exist then I can't make it.  So tear away pants were going to be a real challenge for me.  For some reason neither Simplicity nor McCall's have a stripper pattern line!  I know right.  I bet the market is huge.  But back to topic, I offered to make JB the pants.

Since this would be a first for me, I had to watch "Sexy and I know it" by LMFAO several times to try to get an idea of exactly what he might have in mind.  I kept trying to pause the video on the actual stripping scene but youtube kept stopping on the junk rather than the pants.  So that approach didn't help.  I did some internet research.  Surely someone would have posted step by step directions.  No such luck.  Wiki-how did have a step by step but I didn't really get it.  So I decided the best way to do it was just start from scratch.  I found a pattern, fabric, and velcro (hook and loop) but now I needed measurements.

Strangely for a person who claimed he wanted something so badly, JB worked very hard to avoid getting measured!  It took me 3 days to finally get that boy measured.  I own a self-measure measuring tape but either he couldn't or wouldn't get it on right and give me a number so I finally just put my arms around him and got the numbers.  This then lead to the discussion of how tight should these fit?  (Oh I also decided to make shorts since this is a prototype; no point in wasting fabric on something that doesn't work.)  I decided to go smaller.  I mean a stripper doesn't typically wear loose clothes besides these are a prototype.

Once I got started on the actual construction, I took about 3 hours to make the prototype.  Again, I had a few stops and starts.  There was much discussion on whether to use snaps or velcro.  In the end we went with velcro since JB actually wanted velcro and the shorts were for him so he got what he wanted.  Shocking, I know.  I think the shorts are actually tighter than I thought they would be since he did complain about the tightness.  No one has actually seen the shorts in final form on JB.  In fact, the shorts are still in my purse since I had to finish them at home rather than at the fitting.

JB still wants pants.  Pants were always the actual goal.  I'm still not sure that we've worked all the kinks out of the prototype.  I mean we need to see if they will tear-off without tearing up the shorts!  But I will say that we at least have a working prototype.  There is talk of turning a pair of khakis into tear-away pants.  We'll see.  If it took 3 days to get measurements, I'm sure if I leave JB, he'll take 3 months.  My guess I'll have to kidnap him and take him to the store to pick out some pants or I'll have to use my ill-gotten measurements and pick some out.

To be continued . . .   

You can see the velcro.  JB refuses to pose so this will have to do.

Wordless Wednesday: take a picture!

Week 9 - C25k

Today was my Week 9 Day 1 run of Couch to 5K. I really can't believe that I have made it this far. Would had though I would have gotten hurt or just plain old derailed by life. I remember the first day of C25k, I woke up at 7 am and told DH I was tried of excuses and went and ran. Now 9 weeks later and I worried that once I don't have my little app telling me to run that I'm just going to back to sitting on my ass. I have really enjoyed the challenge. I've liked pushing myself.

9 weeks ago I felt fat. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt trapped in a life that seemed to be happening to me. Now I feel like I am happy. I am beautiful. I am confident. I have the nest job ever which is being a full-time stay at home mom. What a difference 9 weeks can make.
Running has really made me feel like my old self. The attitude adjustment has been from top to bottom. I'm just plain ol' happy!

So today's run I was inside, which I normally hate but it was just too hot and there was too much pollen in the air. I hate the indoor running because it feels easier than running outside. I also have no clue how far I actually run. I was worried that a 30 min run would be too much. I just was't confident that I could do it. I need to have more faith in myself. I was trying to psych myself up for what I thought was the last 5 mins when the app called time. I was so proud of me. I ran and felt like the 30 mins actually not 30 mins. I was really shocked that I ran and didn't die before the 30 was up. How far did I really run? I have no clue. I hope I can run outside on Thursday so I can get an idea of how close to 5k I actually am. I am a runner, again. After a 15 year break, I have my eye on a race for May 19th, just one week before my 33rd birthday. I can do it. I will do it. I'm almost there.

Big girl bed

Ravebaby is a co-sleeping baby.  With the exception of two nights, both NICU nights, she has slept next to me.  Even in the hospital stay during her UTI thing she slept with me in the hospital bed.  About 2 months ago I ended the side-car and moved the crib into toddler bed position across the room.  Ravebaby's been playing in the bed.  Jasmin (dog) has been taking naps in the bed; that's been a fun training exercise.

I have placed Ravebaby in the bed for a couple of naps but nothing consistent.  Tuesday I decided to put Ravebaby in her bed after she fell asleep.  It was a strange experience for me.  I was thinking about it while I put her to sleep in the mei tai.  Once she was out I made the decision to put her in her bed.  At first I okay and so was she.  I sat down on the bed, grabbed the computer and then I burst into tears!  I mean I just cried.  So wasn't the reaction I expected from myself.  I ran to DH who was on his computer in the other room and just sobbed into his shoulder.  Seriously, I was crying. 

DH took me back to the bedroom and reminded me that this was a big step that Ravebaby needed and we needed too.  He's right.  He's been wanting to move her out of our bed and depending on the night, I have too.  Ravebaby is not totally night weaned so I've been resisting but I heard several moms mention putting their child in a toddler bed in the room and letting the kid come back into the big bed at the first night nursing.  So I went for it.  Ravebaby stayed in her bed for 2 hours then woke up and walked over to our bed and went right to sleep again.  I watched her like a hawk while she was in her bed.  It worked well.  No crying barely any waking. 

So I'm going to keep trying put Ravebaby in her own bed.  The last two nights it's only been for an hour.  She tends to move around a lot and once she feels her leg hanging off the edge of her bed she wakes up and moves to our bed.  Last night was hard since she fell asleep in our bed.  I did let her get into a deep sleep before I picked her up and moved her.  Again she was only in her bed for an hour but we'll get their. 

I have to admit I like having the bed adults only even if it is just for an hour.  I'm not ready to push for her to totally night wean or push her to sleep in her own bed all night but we are both taking baby steps.  She is growing up so quickly. 

Wordless Wednesday: Ravebaby in Shreveport

Slow as molasses and half as sweet

So I'm on Week 8 Day 1 of Couch to 5k. I really can't believe that I've made it this far. Seriously last time I got hurt on the very first run and then didn't run for 8 months. Yet here I am; I'll be done with the program at the end of next week. Feels so good to be so close!

Now I'm still super slow! At today's run I ran a 12 and 1/2 min mile. That is slow but I ran it and I did two of those motherfuckers at pace, so I'm still happy. Today was the first day I had a 28 min run and the first day I ran a full two miles plus about 1/6. Really and truly for 33 year old,200+ lbs woman who hadn't run in 15+ years that is not bad. Even if it is keep your mouth shut and let me believe I'm doing good.

After my last run, I told DH that there was no way I would be running 3 miles by the end of this program since I was even finishing 2 miles in the running. Today was really the micro win that I needed. I can do this. I can be in 5k shape by my birthday next month. I can really do this! I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch but I'm feeling good and my goal is in reach.

I know that first comes endurance then I can start working on getting my time down. If I run a 9 min mile and then quit then what did I really do, especially if my goal is a 5k? I also need to work on my actually running form. When I get tired I have the bad habit of dropping my head and that only makes the actual run harder. I have to breathe! I need to keep my face relaxed. I need to keep stretching. So many thing I need to remember from my old xcountry days. But seriously Coach use to get on me for not stretching and now I truly see the wisdom of his words. I think that is the only reason that I haven't gotten hurt. Getting fast will come in time. Mileage comes with training. Form comes from practice. I'm almost there. Go me!

I'm a chess groupie

So Saturday I watched DH beat someone (Jailbait [JB]) at chess.  It was the first time I had ever seen him actually play the game.  DH has been playing chess since he was a kid.  He has tried several times over the years to teach me.  I've tried a few times to actually learn.  I can't seem to remember how the pieces move and worse yet I see nothing on the board.  Seriously, DH has described being able to just look at the board and see moves and set moves and other crap about moving pieces.  I see the squares and that is it.  No moves, no cool tricks not even how to lose quickly so I can quit playing.

Really I have no clue what is going on when it comes to chess.  Saturday's game has been a long time in coming.  JB always has his chess board and plays people at Standpipe all the time.  DH has been wanting to get back into playing chess but there never seemed to be a good time for them to go head-to-head that and Cameragirl (an old high-school friend) had warned DH off of playing.  She told us that JB was a shark.  It is also my understanding that chess takes a long time to play and Ravebaby doesn't like to sit for long periods.

Saturday we were downtown and Standpipe wasn't very busy so the battle was set.  DH said that JB is actually very good anyone else he would have beat in a few moves.  Again I know nothing so judge I cannot.  The game took about an hour but JB was working so between eating lunch and running around making lattes the battle raged.  Pieces traded back and forth.  Eyebrows furrowed.  Quips were traded.  At one point JB started rapping; it was my suggestion for distracting DH.  Near the end "Under pressure/Ice ice baby" was hummed.  Then a huge explosion of people wanting coffee and a Ravebaby in need of a nap.  DH did not finish JB off.  My bet guess is that DH did have the win since most young men insists on getting the kill and since JB just let DH walk off it must have been over in DH's favor.

It was amazing and yet a little weird that I found it such a turn on to watch the game.  Really seeing DH just using his wits and going for a kill.  DH and I are super competitive.  We are so competitive with each other that Connect Four is banned in our house. Games of Trivial Pursuit last hours and hours, neither one of us wants to give even an inch.  Neither one of us is competitive in physical feats.  DH has a bad back and knees and I'm just lazy but when it comes to using your brain.

As I said to DH, it's a good thing I never hung around chess tournaments and/or that DH is a good player since apparently I like to go home with the winner.  It's fun to find new aspects to our attraction to each other.  We've been a couple for 16 years but it never gets old.  I'm thinking there will be more chess games in our future.  I think I might learn to like the game after all.

I just want to be even

So DH and I were talking yesterday and the subject of the future came up as it tends to do.  The question of ultimately what are we working towards being the number one thing.  When we were young and stupid (oh wait I did say young) we wanted to be millionaires by the time we were 30.  We're in our 30s are dirt poor so that goal changed along the way.  We wanted a huge family.  We only have one kid and it seems at this rate if we are lucky enough to have another one we'll be doing good.   So where are we and were are we going?
The other day I heard "I want to be rich" by Calloway and the thought came to me that I don't want to be rich.  Honestly, Biggie had it right, Mo' Money Mo' Problems!  I just want to be even.  I want enough money to pay our bills.  I don't need anything fancy.  I don't care if I never have a new car.  I don't need a house with a white picket fence.  Heck, I'm okay if I never get an iPad (and yes I do want an iPad, I have a birthday coming up if you want to give me your old used one :)).  I just want to be able to pay our bills every month and be able to have a little bit on hand in case of an emergency.  I just want to be even.
Right now we are far from even.  Now that I'm not working, we struggling.  It's okay.  I don't like this position but I know God is working on me.  I know that I'm learning a lot about what is really important in life.  While I've never been a super materialist person, I did become change.  I developed a taste for electronics and sushi.  I'm getting better.  My life right now isn't perfect but I'm happier now than I have been in a while.  I'm feeling at peace.  So maybe I'm poor but God has got this.

Wheat/Gluten-free fad (My wheat-free life for real, yo!)

So apparently it's going around that going gluten-free is a good way to lose weight.  I'll be the first to to tell you that I lost weight going wheat-free.  In fact for the first 3 months of going strictly wheat-free I was losing weight so fast it was a bit scary and I was worried about my health.  All together I would say I've lost about 30 lbs to the wheat-free diet I know live.

So that sounds great right!?  No, wheat but I lose tons of weight.  That sounds fantastic where do I sign up?  While now that I've been wheat-free for over 2 years, I have to tell you, I'm not strict.  Once I backed off the strictness of my wheat-freeness, the weight lose stopped.  I've maintained but the losing has stopped.  Not a problem for me.  I'm happy.  I didn't go wheat-free to try to meet Oprah or Miley.  My DH was diagnosed with a wheat allergy in 2003.  My DD was born with a wheat allergy.  I have no issue with wheat except that it causes my family pain. 

I've talked about my journey to wheat-freeness before but today's pain is, wheat-free shouldn't be a fad.  I really struggled with going wheat-free.  I cried.  I prayed.  I cursed.  I wanted a quick fix.  I've accepted my life as a wheat-free person.  Wheat will never be in my life like it was before Ravebaby was born.  Wheat-free is the way I eat. 

So back to the weight loss thing.  Yes you will lose weight.  You would be surprised at the number of things that have wheat.  If you go wheat-free, you need to be strict.  Once you go strict you realize that unless this is a life/health thing, it ain't fun and you go back to wheat. 

Here is the number one reason I say don't go wheat-free unless you have to: It Takes Work!  Much like any diet, you have to plan.  I have to plan all of my meals.  I can't just go out and pick up a burger.  No just heating up a Hot Pocket for lunch.  No bucket of chicken for dinner.  Being wheat-free is inconvenient.  Being wheat-free and going out to eat requires you to speak up; you have to pester/educate the waitstaff.  You have to plan.

What I miss most of my wheat filled day?  Convenience.  Seriously, the days of going to McDonald's for nuggets are missed only for the convenience it held.  I don't miss the food with wheat anymore.  I've found replacements for all of my favorites.  I've found food that I prefer wheat-free, like Udi's Chocolate Muffins, OMG!  Really, I miss paying $1 for a loaf bread instead of going to the specialty health-food store and paying $5 for a loaf that is smaller. 

I have to think out going out to eat; this is especially a problem when I'm going out with others.  How about pizza?  Sorry, can't Martha doesn't eat wheat.  Burgers?  Well I can just get it bunless. (Sad looks all around.)  Even sushi is a problem.  Notice I said I'm not strict anymore.  Sushi is why.  I never have my wheat-free soy sauce.  I have cut back on my soy sauce usage.  I try to avoid eel sauce.  I love sushi.  DD doesn't react so I allow myself to use regular soy sauce. 

Like I've said, I would go wheat-free for my family again without hesitation.  No hamburger is worth my DD screaming in pain.  No fried pie is worth my child being sick.  You want to go wheat-free to lose weight, go for it but don't say I didn't warn you.

Before going wheat-free, circa 2007

Post-30 lb weigh loss

Potty Learning

Ravebaby is 28 months old.  I want her to learn to use the potty.  I have to be honest, I've pushed her.  I've tried and tried to get her to use the potty.  About a month ago she started wanting to use the potty.  The catalyst?  The Potty Dance from Pull-ups.  Ravebaby sings it all of the time but if it helps motivate her then I'll be singing it. 

I want this girl using the potty.  I don't want to buy any more diapers or trainers.  I also don't want to have a 3 year old that isn't using the potty at least trying to use the potty. 
I like the term potty learning.  I saw another blogger using the term and I really like it.  It sounds like a more gentle approach.  I don't want to push her beyond her limits.  I want her to feel like she is making the decisions because she's making the decisions.  I want her to feel empowered. 

So how am I doing this?  It ain't easy.  I'm giving her naked time.  She enjoys the freedom of naked time and asks for it.  She gets more naked time after using the potty or if she's just wet a diaper then I give her naked time.  I don't want her to have accidents so I try to set her up for success.  I try to encourage her to sit on the potty.  She doesn't always use it but even just playing the area is a success I think. 

Is it working?  Well today I get a poop and a pee in the potty.  She started with naked time first thing this morning.  It was a risk but I have to let her try.  She did start to poop on the quilt but I stopped her and she finished on the potty!  Success.  I can wash the quilt.  She was so proud of herself.  Later on she was still enjoying naked time and and started a pee.  I caught her and ran her to the potty and she finished there.  Success.  I want to her learn the feeling of her needs to poop and pee.  Maybe I'm taking the long way there but I think she's learning.  We'll see.

Wordless Wednesday: Easter guitar

More Boob! (Warning: Picture included)

I feel like I need to change my name to More Boob.  That seems to be Ravebaby's number one thing to say.  She has a pretty big vocabulary but when it comes to me, she says More Boob.  Sometimes she sings it to the tune of Shave and a haircut.  Most time its just a demand, More Boob!

There are times that I think I want to wean her.  I do tell her no.  I don't really want to wean her.  I want her to finish nursing when she is done with nursing but there are days when I'm touched out.  I want her to leave me alone.  I want to keep my bra in its place for longer than an hour.  I don't want to nurse her at 6 am and 9 am and on and on. 

Most days are not that bad.  She's busy and barely remembers to nurse.  Most evenings are okay too.  It's just when I have a supply dip that she seems to be on me all day.  This last week has been hard.  My period started unexpected on Saturday.  I guess I should have see it coming since Ravebaby had been in my lap all week.  Seriously, this kid just knows. 

I just tend to get touched out.  I love DD and nursing her is a great way to stay connected.  But when she's on me like white on rice, I just want to explode.  There really are days that she seem to forget to nurse at all.  She might nurse at lunch and then at bedtime.  That is part of the problem, I get use to not nursing.  When she gets into nurse all the time mode, it's a hard transition for me. 

We won't wean yet.  Even if she just nurses a couple of times a day, they are sessions that keep us connected and ultimately when she does wean I'll wish I had those times back.  God willing my daughter will live to be 100 and in the grand scheme of things, 2+ years of nursing will be a tiny speck of time.

 I've even started to let her nurse in public again.  I keep going back to nursing in public because so many people seem to be against it.  If you read Twitter, so many people get brave and diss us nursing mommas.  Really most people are too chicken-shit to say anything to you in public.  Really, I don't use a cover, I'm nursing a 2 year old and never ever have I had anyone say anything.  I guess I feel like I have to put my money where my mouth is.  If I want to be an advocate then I have to walk to the walk or in my case nurse the baby.  I mean people are really scared to nurse in public.  They are afraid someone will say something to them but if they see someone else doing it then they tend to feel more comfortable.  Really, the public in general would rather you nurse your baby than hear your baby scream and cry.  It's just a little boob.  We all have nipples.  There are men with huge man-boobs that walk around shirtless all the time so why should I care if you get a view of some boob.  My boobs are pretty fab.  At least DD thinks so :)

Running off the weekend

On Saturday, DH, Audrey (Ravebaby) and I went to This Won't Suck '12 in Shreveport, LA.  We caught a ride on the Social Bliss Will of Fire van.  It was fun!  We know Social Bliss from their local jigs and in fact Max, the lead singer, is DH's guitar teacher and DD just loves him.  We caught the van at 3 pm and I got into my bed at 3 am.  It was a long day.  Ravebaby did wonderfully!  Honestly she was better than some of the "adults." :)

Before going on the van, I had the unpleasant discovery of my period starting.  I knew something was going on with me.  I had had no energy all week.  I told DH on Friday that I was worried that my hormones were just off.  Sure enough, my period started 2 weeks early.  I had thought it was time for a pregnancy test but Saturday's discovery proved that would not be necessary.  I'm sad about it.  I want another baby but I have to trust that God knows best and just deal.

As part of dealing I send Sunday in bed.  I was cramping so badly.  I hadn't hurt like that in ages.  I missed church on Easter.  I was just in too much pain.  On the upside, my energy is back.

Today I ran my Week 7 Day 1 of Couch-to-5k.  It felt so good to run.  Just run and think.  Think it out and keep running.  This week has 3 25-min runs.  It felt good to run.  I didn't run very fast but unlike my last run with stomach cramps, this was easy and I kept a steady pace.  My hip isn't hurting anymore.  I'm stretching.  I'm adding planks, sit-ups and push-ups.  Not too many just a couple to start building up my upper body.  So I ran off the weekend.

Here is Social Bliss from Saturday's jig.  You can actually see Ravebaby on stage dancing with Girlilla and the Tutu crew. 

25 min run

So yesterday I completed Week 6 Day 3 of Couch-to-5K.  It was a 25 min run.  My first 25 min run in years!  It hurt.  I kept getting stomach aches during the run.  Every time I would feel my stomach crap I would push myself harder.  I was not going to quit!  Once I slowed down to my cool-down, I had to hurry to the bathroom, just barely made it.  Maybe pushing was not the best idea but I did it!  I ran my 25 minutes.  From here on out the C25k runs are all long runs.  Week 7 is 3 25-min runs.  If I did it once with my stomach hurting then I'll kick ass this next week. 

I've actually been looking for a 5k to run before my next birthday.  I've been dreaming of actually doing some races and eventually moving up a 10k and one day a marathon.  I've always wanted to run a marathon but with my ass on the couch for the last 15 years, the idea was just that an idea.  I'm looking forward to the push.  I'm discovering just how strong I really am.  I'm discovering that it's not about the scale or the dress size, it's about getting off your ass.  I'm never going to win the Boston marathon but maybe I'll actually run some day.

Yesterday's power music was Wait Wait Don't tell me from NPR.  I'm loving listening to Wait, wait.  I'm thinking of trying an audio book next.  You can download free podcasts from Wait, wait's webpage.  If you haven't listened to an episode, do it!  I love Wait Wait!

20 min run next to public enemy #1

Okay so it wasn't that bad.  The dude is actually very nice but today he and some really old dude had to talk about Trayvon Martin.  These dudes were white (point of fact).  They were both in agreement that Trayvon probably deserved it and that the other dude was justified in shooting.  I wanted to puke.  I had just started my 20 min run and I was struggling to push myself to run and here these guys are talking about how some kid deserved to die because he was in a hoodie in a place he shouldn't have been and that the media was using a baby picture to make the other guy seem horrible. 

I've purposely avoided talking about Trayvon.  It hurts to think about it.  I'm a mom.  My husband is black and that means, God willing, that I'll have a son who is black.  DH and I plan to live in a "nice" neighborhood.  I can't think about it without thinking it could happen to me.  I could be Trayvon's mom.  DH loves to wear a hoodie.  In fact he usually dresses as the Uni-bomber for Halloween in a dark gray hoodie.  Since when does what you wear determine whether or not you live?  Have we gotten to the point that life means so little? 

So today I ran 20 mins.  I didn't want to.  The old dudes nearly made me quit.  I had my headphones in and I pretended to be into my run.  I wanted to say something.  Between Fox News on the TV and the dudes next to me, I just wanted to leave.  How do you push to make yourself better when the world seems to only see you by the pigments of your skins?  I can't tell you how many times I've been mistaken as the cleaning lady instead of the teacher/librarian.  I didn't stop.  I kept running.  Every time I wanted to quit I pushed harder.  Rather than let someone who doesn't know me determine my life, I used it to push myself to be better.  I know these old dudes are entitled to their opinion same as me.  Life teaches us to look at things and make judgments based on our own experiences.  None of us know all of the facts in the case so me jumping on some old dude's case wouldn't do anything.  Besides I would have started crying and then I would have lost all creditability.   

So what did I learn today?  I can run 20 mins straight!  I also learned that only I can determine how I do in this life.  I might live to be 100 or die on the way home but my life is just that my life.  I can't be scared to do something because of what someone else might think.  For every person that sees me as the cleaning lady, there are just as many who's life I've changed through teaching or heck just by breathing.  I've got to do me.  Right now I am a wife, mother and a runner in training. 

Today at Standpipe after my run.

Wordless Wednesday: Galaxy Express & babywearing

Music is an experience

So yesterday I headed down to my favorite local coffee, Standpipe, and had an interesting exchange with the barista I'll call Jailbait (JB).  He was saying something about changing the music up and I replied that he could put on whatever since I would just tune it out if I didn't like it.  He got a bit indignant and said music is to be experienced.  After that he put on What is Love by Haddaway.  I like the song and I was excited.  JB then called me old.  But it did make me think not about my oldness but about the idea of music as an experience and my oldness too but anyways.

I went home and started posting youtube videos for songs that have meant something to me over the years.  This morning I woke up and remembered a test for Gardner's Multiple Intelligences that I had taken several years ago that had music as one of my top areas of intelligence. Here is the chart:

My MI chart

So I have always found it interesting that music is one of my areas since I don't play a musical instrument or sing very well but I live my life in music.  Every time and place has a song or tune attached.  People have their songs in my head.  Like DH is Crazy Love by Brian McKnight.  Audrey is All my life by K-Ci & Jojo.  My mom is Triangulo by Los Babys.  Standpipe is Start wearing Purple by Gogol Bordello.  The time DH took me to the Roanoke Science Museum is You're Beautiful by James Blunt.  Giving birth is Songbird by Eva Cassidy.  Even JB has a song, Sexy and I know it by LMFAO.

Music is an experience.  JB was right.  I always have a song in my head.  I work best if I have music on.  I have Belinda Carlisle's Greatest Hit playing even now.  Music is a must in my life.  If you see me walking around I'm usually bopping to some beat.  If I'm not careful I tend to sing out loud.  Music is an experience.

Miracle-Gro Expand' n Gro

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Scotts® for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

So I have a black thumb.  Truly I kill things.  Honestly the only time I've been able to grow anything was when I use Miracle-Gro.  So when I saw an ad for Miracle-Gro Expand ‘n Gro™, I got excited.  If I can keep things alive in regular Miracle-Gro, just wait until I get my hands on the new stuff.  You can use it in the ground or in a hanging plant.  I've been wanting to start an herb garden but the idea of spending money on plants I'm just going to kill doesn't sit well with me so the timing could not be better. 

My number one issue, I'm lazy.  If I have to remember to feed a plant then the plant isn't going to make it.  Miracle-Gro makes it easy to take care of plants.  With a formula that feeds plants for up to 6 months, how can you go wrong?  And because it's Miracle-Gro you still get the benefit of 3x the flowers and veggies vs putting them in the native soil.  3x the plants and more work than the usual, yes please, I'll take two!

As a cool factor, Expand 'n Gro actually grows.  You add water and then it expands up to 3 times!  I'm seeing a science lesson here.  I can just hear the questions now.  Why does it do that?  How does it do that?  Does all dirt do that?  Did you know they use natural fibers from coconuts (called Coir) to make the soil expand!?  Along with expanding, it actually holds water, which is a huge plus for someone like me who tends to forget to water.
 

So it's time to plant.  Time to get your garden ready and to see the fruits of your labor all summer long.  Right now you can get a free sample of Miracle-Gro Expand 'n Go.  Here's more information:

 

Did you adopt her?

So Saturday, I took Audrey to the Nacogdoches Spring Fling.  It was a girls only trip.  I was going to support my girls from LLL of Nac and to go to the Farmer's Market which I had never been to. 

There were lots of activities for Miss Audrey and we had fun walking around and catching up with the girls.  While we were at one table a little girl came over to us and asked, very politely, "Did you adopt her?"  I had never been asked that before and I a bit stunned to be honest.  What do you say to that question?  I mean I had never really thought much about it that anyone would think that she wasn't my kid.  She looks a lot like DH but she looks like me too. 

I think the most interesting part was the woman who was across from us and her reaction.  She perked up and turned to me and said, kinda with a giggle, "Kids will say anything that comes to mind."  And then she kind of leaned in to hear the answer and I guess my reaction. 

I guess from the outside looking in, it might be fun.  What is this adult going to say?  I could go all nuclear on her.  I could be cool and ignore it.  I could have a great answer.  My answer was none of these things.  I simply looked at her and said, "Honey, she's mine.  Her daddy is dark but I had her."  Plain and simple.  Easy and truthful.  She was a child and she had a question and I was the only person who could answer. 

How would you react?  I just went into teacher/librarian mode and answered the question.  What else could I do?  I'm glad that I got the question.  I had never thought about it.   An adult would not be so nice.  An adult would ask with judgment.  So would my reaction to an adult be different?  My guess is yes.  How could I stay calm and chill when someone is making a value call on my child?  I'm use to questions/judgments on my marriage.  Can't be in an interracial relationship for over 16 years and not have a ready response to, "Why you marry one of our men?" but that is a different blog post all together.  But when it comes to my child, that is a whole different territory.

I have no clue how to start the race dialogue with Audrey.  I know she notices.  Black men are daddy.  I've heard her point to pictures and say it.  I do correct her.  No that's not daddy.  What do I say?  No honey, random black dude.  I've not heard her say it when she sees a picture of Hispanic women but then I would be with her and she could easily compare.  I know she knows there is a difference.  How do I vocalize it?  How do I explain it to her?

I remember when my niece asked about it.  DH and I been together 16 years and our oldest niece is 15 so she's always known me and I've always been with her uncle.  I'm her aunt.  She was in school like st grade I think.  Her teacher must have said something because as relied to us by my sister-in-law, our niece and came home and say, "[Uncle] and Martha aren't the same color are they?"  She didn't know because we never told her.  But Audrey is different.  Audrey is biracial/bi-cultural.  Bi-coloredness is part of her identity.  I think I'll be visiting some bi-cultural mom blogs and see how they are handling it.  I feel so unprepared for the race talk.

5 mins of running

So today was Week 4 Day 3 of my C25k challenge and it was not easy.  I really had to reach down deep inside to finish that last run.  I had to run up a hill.  I actually grunted very loudly to get up that hill.  Some lady was looking at me as I rounded the hill.  I actually did all 4 runs.  I was slow as hell but I got them down.

I am actually a bit concerned about running on Saturday.  I'm suppose to move on to Week 5, which is 3 5 min runs.  I just don't know if I can do it.   I just feel like I really really struggled to finish that 2nd 5 min run.  How can I possibly handle 3 5 min runs?  But then again I didn't think I could handle even one 5 min run and today I finished 2.  It would actually be 1 min less of running total.

This is such a mind game with myself.  I really find myself pushing myself and talking me through each run.  After all who in the world cares if I ever run again?  This is a goal/challenge I set for me and I have to do it.  In that same vein, I am beginning to find that my hip is starting to really hurt.  I'm stretching before and after each run.  I'm taking ibuprofen.  I'm swearing off high heels.  I think I need to break down and use some ice.  I am my own worst enemy.  I am my own competition.  I am my own champion.  I will do this.  Bum hip and all . . .

Pushing through song of the day: This river is wild by The Killers

Fuck you lazy Martha!

Today was a true test of commitment to running.  At noon, I struggled to get out of a chair so I decided I should skip today's C25k run.  Who would know?  Who would care?

Lazy Martha was working hard to justify staying home.  Get off your ass (GOYA) Martha was just not stepping up to the plate.  My hip was hurting but too badly.  My feet were sore from wearing high heels last night.  I had so many reasons to skip.  Then all of sudden GOYA Martha stepped up!  If I don't go today then I have to go Monday morning and then to work.  It makes the morning tight.  If I wait until Monday night then I'm tried from the workday.  Tuesday we have gymnastics with Audrey so no gym time.

1pm when the gym opened up I got off my ass and went to run!  I did it!  I actually ran all 4 runs from C25K.  I felt so good once I got that last run done.  So I think I put lazy Martha in her place.  My next run should be Tuesday but I'll go Wednesday morning then I'll be into week 5.  Almost half way to a 5K! 

Today's song: Roam by the B52s

Couch to 5k - Why bother?

So I started doing Couch to 5k almost a month ago.  Yesterday I ran Week 4 Day 1.  I say I ran, I more like ran most of it and then wanted to die but finished strong!  Lets be honest, it kicked my ass. 

So why do it?  Well that is a bit more complicated.  Back in the day I ran cross country.  Strangely I ended up in class on accident and just loved the team and coach so I stayed.  I was never very good.  The girl's races were 2 miles.  I think my best time was like 18 mins or so.  I was never fast but I always finished.  I never in the 3 years quit a race, not even in the hot deep East Texas August heat.  After my last race Senior year, I was done.  I stopped running and started sitting.  About 60 lbs later, I decided to get off my ass.  I've had many many stops and starts on my way back to running.  I've started various C25K programs but always quit for one reason or another.  My last stop was an injury.  I injuried my hip; the doctor calls it bursitis.  After a few months of R&R, like close to 9, I decided to get off my ass again. 

The motivation to run is complicated.  I'm not at the runner's high part yet.  Right now it's all in my head.  I can do it!  It's me verses me.  I want to prove to myself that I can do it.  Why do I care?  I've really struggled in the last few years to find me.  I was happy in Viriginia with my little family and then we moved back to Texas and my career was thrown in a new direction.  The career thing has really had me down.  I left a job I loved and took a job I was sure I could do.  Time proved that could I take a beating but that I wasn't ready for the job.  I felt a bit out of control.  Yes, I have control issues.  How do I get back in control?  This is were the running comes in.  Going running is something I choose to do; I have to be self motivated to go.  If I miss that is on me.  I make the excuses.  I reap the rewards. 

DH has been very supportive.  We've been together since back in the XC days.  If I feel better about me then it's better for all of us.  I have more energy.  I have more self confidence.  I have more peace.  Even after having my ass handed to me by that last run, I feel great.  I ran more yesterday than the day before.  I've like quadrupaled my running from a month ago.  I'm not race ready.  The program is about 9 weeks and I might take longer.  I'm hoping to do a 5k by next b-day so I've got about 2 months.  Plenty of time to train and actually complete a race.  I'm not running for the glory.  I'm too slow for any glory.  I'm running for the peace and calm it brings me.

Oh by the way I'm using the Get Running app on my iPhone along with my Work-it-out playlist. I think I need less Dusty Springfield and more The Killers on my list. Just saying.  Below my favorite running song. 

Wordless Wednesday: Walrus and me

I'm over and out of a job

okay, I decided to leave my job.  I was struggling with leaving Audrey every day.  I'm at work for close to 9 hrs a day, planning cool events for children that my child will never get to attend.  I think DH is right that I won't be able to stay home.  I've been doing some job searching.  I think I would like to work part-time.  I have no real plans at this time. 

I guess I could make this blog pay.  I'll just start taking on any paying blog topic.  I'll promote the hell out of things I don't like just so that I can pay the bills.  Actually I just can't do that.  If I don't like it, I don't like it.  I want my blog to be a place that I can just be open and honest.  We'll see what I do. 

It's been fun

So "Wheatless Mama" is a year old.  I still remember how hard it was to decide on a new name for my blog and to take the plunge into buying the domain.  Previous to being Wheatless Mama, the blog was just Martha-mommy-to-be.  The name no longer fit since Audrey was earthside. 

It has been a fun year of blogging about not only mommyhood but the challenges of trying to be strictly wheatless.  I've learned so much about the struggles of people with food allergies.  It has also amazed me the total crap I've been putting in my body.  The extra chemicals and additives that are in processed convenient food.  I've also learned the hard lesson of asking question and not trusting restaurants.  How can I ever forget the time we got the wheat filled milkshake? 

So from this Wheatless Mama, thank you for the all of the support and comments.  I'll try to be less of a stranger and get better about actually blogging. 

My reasons for being wheatless.

Running and feeling shy

So Lent started this last Wednesday; in case you didn't know I'm Catholic.  For my lenten sacrifice I decided to do a running reward system for myself.  Basically if I run then I can go to my favorite coffee spot in town (Standpipe Coffee House).  I like this because I'm tying something I love (Standpipe) with something I want to do more of.  At first I was just going to give up Standpipe, which I can do, but I'm the sort of person that wants to take on as well.  My usual go to lent move is to give up soda.  I've really cut down on my soda intake anyways except for a Vanilla Coke from Standpipe.  I was also running to Standpipe a lot, which was eating my budget. 

I have been wanting to get back to running.  Back in the day I ran cross-country.  I was never any good but I like the time to think.  Running also makes me feel stronger.  I had tried to get back into running shape a few times before but the last time I tried, about 8 months ago, I injured my hip so I've been a bit scared to try.  Wednesday as part of Ash Wednesday I was craving a Vanilla Coke from Standpipe.  By the end of the day, after many Our Fathers and Hail Marys to resist the temptation, I realized that I could blend sacrifice and taking on together.  Thursday morning, I got up and went running.  I'm using Couch-2-5K.  I felt great.  I ran without dying and without killing my hip!  Saturday, I got up and went running.  Day 2 Week 1!  Today I feel great.  The soreness is all but gone and I can't wait to run tomorrow, assuming I can find the time. 

So Friday night, DH and I had a mini-date.  We headed to a new music venue here in Lufkin called The Factory.  There are great people that hang there (and at Standpipe) and they are so cool with themselves.  Me I'm so shy.  I want to be cool.  I want to get out there and dance even when no one else is but I just can't.  I'm a wall flower.  I hate being a wall flower.  I mean people could care less about me and what I"m doing and yet I feel like all eyes are on me.  I think the running will help with the shyness.  If I feel strong and self-confident then I'll feel less wallflower, right?  I will chair-pump!

Good-bye Yellow Pine Road

On Tuesday, the sale of Temple-Inland to International Paper was finalized.  This is not normally a topic for this blog but Temple-Inland isn't just some random company; at least not to me.  Temple-Inland is the only company my dad has worked for since I was born.

See Temple has really felt like a family member.  We would go to company picnics.  Mom would load us up in the truck and we would take my dad lunch.  I have lots of good memories of going to the plant and sitting under a shady pine and eating lunch with daddy.  Every day of my childhood is tainted with the smell of pine.  My dad would come home with a thin layer of pine shavings on him.  That smell always takes me back to being a little girl and running to my daddy after he got home from work.  That East Texas pine smell is so relaxing to me that I searched all over Greensboro NC for the perfect candle when it came time to give birth.  I knew I needed that pine smell to relax and bring my baby into this world.

Temple is also important to me because I received a $3K/year scholarship to go to college.  It was that scholarship that allowed me to follow my dreams and go to Hollins University.  I loved my time at Hollins.  It was being there that allowed me to grow and become a confident woman.  Without that scholarship, my life would be way different.  It was that step to Hollins that would set me up to go to UNC-Greensboro and finally finding my true career path, librarianship. 

Temple-Inland is was not just another company to me.  What will happen to Temple?  At this point no one really knows.  So far my dad still has a job.  I hope that the plant will keep running not just for my daddy but for the whole area.  Just hard to be believe that Temple is no more.

My official Temple Foundation Scholarship picture w/Dad. cira 1997

Family Fun Facts

Inspired by The Feminist Breeder, here are fun facts about my little family:

1.  Audrey sings all the time.  Her favorite songs are Thumbkin, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and If your happy and you know it.

2.  Audrey likes to call DH by his first name.  He hates that!

3.  Audrey sings for Boob.  To the tune of Shave and a haircut

4.  We are a wheatless family that loves pasta!  DH's spaghetti is the best ever!

5.  I have baked more in the last two years of wheatlessness than in 8 years of married life prior combined.

6.  Audrey calls my dad "PiPa" and my mom "Buea," we have no clue where she came up with them.

7.  Snoopy and Jasmin love Audrey but they miss being our babies.  Jasmin does not love it when Audrey takes her by the tail and tries to spin her.

8.  My dad is addicted to Netflix and streams at least one movie a day.

9.  Audrey only likes PBS cartoons.  It's like pulling teeth to get her to watch anything but Caillou and Barney.

10.  Audrey loves to rock out.  She likes to play on any instrument, especially her daddy's Fender guitar.

Wordless Wednesday: ready for a sock hop

Yeast

So if you can't tell the name of my blog, my life is wheat-less.  We don't eat wheat because DH and Audrey are both allergic.  Along with wheat, DH has many other food allergies.  They are all manageable and I never remember the whole list.  Outside of wheat and oranges, we don't worry too much about the rest of the allergy herd.  So that brings me to yeast.  DH is allergic.  I never think about it.  It is actually his biggest allergen. 

This weekend I made focaccia bread from Chebe brand mix.  It was good!  DH was actually excited about eating a sandwich.  I guess we've been missing fancy breads.  Anyways, I mentioned that I could make my own from a recipe I have but I'm afraid to work with yeast.  I always kill it.  DH stopped me and said you remember I'm allergic to yeast right so just buy the mix.  Actually I had forgotten.  I felt like a horrible wife!  Avoiding wheat is so present in my mind but the rest of the allergen gang is all but forgotten.  I bought the mix.

Sexy

DH and I had a long discussion yesterday after my "Feeling Fat" post.  He of course argued that men don't feel like that.  They don't allow the media in like that.  He's a big guy and if the clothes don't fit he just moves on.  Okay, but men also don't have really have the skinny vs fluffy debate to deal with.  If I want something sexy I have to go to a specialty store.  Big Girls 'R Us ain't on every corner.  A fluffy girl has to know where to shop.  We can't just go into any store and expect to walk out with something.  If the store doesn't have a "Plus-size" "Today's Woman" "Womens" or another random for the fluffy girl term section then you are shit out of luck.  With men tending to buy big, thanks to the horrible show your underwear fashion, they can usually find something even if it is just undershirts.  Not true for the fluffy girl.  If I want something other than perfume, Victoria's secret is not for me.  By the same token, if you want something from Lane Bryant and you are under a size 14, they go nothing for you.  Women are set up in a vs fashion.  Skinny bitches vs Fluffy goddesses; what is up with that!?

Anyways, I'm still on the hunt of a garter belt and stockings.  I've gone to the interwebs and have found a lot of stuff.  I'm a bit worried about the budget but only because I found some to die for steel-bones corsets.  Too bad I don't blog toward fashion or might could talk some of these companies into letting me try and review.  LOL.  The quest continues.

I am sexy.  My clothes don't really mean anything.  My feelings about myself are all in my head and on this blog.  Yes, there are times I feel fat.  There are also times I'm walking around thinking I'm the hottest thing ever.  Most days I'm just happy in my own skin.  So with or without the corset, garter belt, stockings, and sky-high pump, I'm sexy and I know it!

Feeling fat

so yesterday I went to Victoria's Secret.  Needless to say I now feel super fat.  Since losing weight with the wheatfree diet, I've been having a crisis of body image.  Strangely, I was more comfortable being bigger.  I felt sexy.  Now I just don't know how to feel about me.  I'm about a size 16.  Basically I'm back to my high school size, not my high school weight but size.  I feel too fat for "regular" sized clothes but the "plus" sized stuff fit too big.  I'm in a no woman's land. 

As part of my trying to reclaim me, I'm trying to evolve my personal style.  I want to be a bit more pin-up and less sweatpants mom.  I want to feel sexy, strong and beautiful all the time instead of feeling so slouchy.  The make-up I can totally handle.  While I tend to be more clean faced, I love eyeliner.  I am in search of the perfect red lipstick but that is a blog for another day.  I am struggling with the clothes.  I want to wear things fitted but then my muffin top shows.  I want to wear things that are breastfeeding friendly.  I've actually had a lot of luck with that.

One area that is actually working for me is shoes!  Since I have to wear pumps and "fancy" shoes to work, I am finding for the first time in my life I can wear high heels without a problem.  So this leads me to Victoria's Secret.  I love wearing a garter belt and stockings.  They feel sexy.  They are classic pin-up.  It's like a sexy secret since it's under the dress and only I know I have it on.  None of my old garter belts fit and I don't have any stockings so off I got to buy some.  I headed to the Secret in hopes of finding something.  Instead, I left with my ego super bruised.  I feel fat.  Oh well, I'll feel sexy another day.

Scary ain't it :)

50% of my life

So DH and I recently crossed a milestone of togetherness; we've been together as a couple for 50% of our lives.  So half of my life has been spent as part of this couple.  Pretty cool and it makes me think about how we spend our lives.  I mean in the grand scheme of things Audrey's babyhood was a blink of an eye.  This 2 year+ of breastfeeding are nothing.  I mean if I live to be 100 and then I would have spent like 4% of my life breastfeeding Audrey (if she weans by age 4).

Time has been on my mind.  I'm not that old, all of 32, but I don't want to be old one day looking back and going I waste x amount on my life hating my job or caring about what person x thought of me.  I'm in a good place.  I love what I do.  I love my family.  I am still madly in love with my husband.  Is my life prefect?  No but I'm happy.  Good days and bad days, I think all balance out to 75/25 when it's all said and done.  So 50% of my life has been with DH.  I guess from here on out everyday tills the balance to more DH than no DH.  Interesting.

Wordless Wednesday: guess who wants to drive

100 things to eat before you die - my turn

So this list has been making the rounds for a few years.  I got from Chew on That blog.  So I'm marking things in red if I've eaten it, plus making my own random comments.

1. Venison - we call this deer meat
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros - I'm Mexican so yeah, I've eaten this most mornings.
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile - I've had alligator, does that count?
6. Black pudding - I'm not a fan of blood things.
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari - I miss calamari.
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (A French cheese)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns  
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (one of the hottest peppers in the world)
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - I've have both but not together
33. Salted lassi - I've had mango lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - Again had both but not together
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects 

43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Single Malt whiskey
46. Fugu 
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea Urchin 
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal - Grew up on these but those days are long gone.
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst  
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkil
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef - they called it Kobe beef, not sure if it was.
86. Hare - Same as rabbit?
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish 
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake - I honestly don't remember

My total = 54 things.

I like the list.  It includes simple everyday stuff and them some harder to find things.  I'm hoping to cross off more this year.  DH has 70 or so on the list.  His family traveled the US when he was younger.  I have a I'll eat it once philosophy.  I think part of it is growing up poor.  I don't come from people that turn their noses up at food.  If I'm hungry then I'll eat.  We'll see how many more I get to cross off!

Time for me

I just got a haircut.  It had been a good 5 months since my last haircut.  Strangely, I felt a bit guilty taking the time to do it.  Like, I shouldn't be in a stylist chair but next to my DH watching Audrey play.  I have to get over it.  Audrey is getting to be more independent.  I'm not sure I'm ready for that.  She has never been a high needs baby but we do love to be together.  I work full-time; I"m away all day 5 days a week.  I need to spend time with my child but at the same time I need to spend time with myself and with DH.  How do moms with more than 1 kid do it!? 

I have been talking with DH about stepping back in my career once he finishes his Masters.  We want to homeschool and I want to spend time with Audrey without the pressure of work.  I want to be a mom.  DH points out that I have never been good at taking time off.  I have to have my time filled up.  He thinks staying at home would be the death of me.  Maybe he's right.  Can I be happy just being a mom?  But would I just be a mom?  I want to step up my commitment to LLL. I want to teach my daughter.  I want to work more on my blog.  Oh yeah and have more kids.  I think my day would be full.  I also want to go back to college and take some classes but that is a back-burner kind of thing. 

We'll see what happens.  Right now, I'm trying to balance what I have. 

Breastfeeding Goals met

So if you look at my breastfeeding timeline at the top of my blog, I have met my breastfeeding goal.  When I found out I was pregnant and thinking about breastfeeding, my research brought me to the idea that I wanted to breastfed my child for at least 2 years.  2 years is the minimum recommended by WHO.  I had read and heard from other moms that toddlers are picky eaters and breastfeeding would mean that I would know my child was getting the right food.  So 2 years was my goal. 

DH was not thrilled but as a researcher himself, he understood my reasons for setting the goal.  Like everything else with my parenting style, he just goes along as long as DD is happy and healthy.  Now it's been a few months that we passed the comfortable with breastfeeding in public phase.  It kinda wigged us both out for a bit but after seeing so much controversy surrounding NIP, I think we're both back on the NIP bandwagon.  If you want to say something to my big black DH go for it.  So we're NIP to help other couples with NIP.  So I proudly breastfeed a 2-year-old in public without a cover. 

At this point, DD and I are still nursing.  My mom told DD no more boob and DD had a total meltdown!  I mean a serious panic attack.  Needless to say she's more attached to the boobs than before.  So I don't think we'll be weaning anytime soon.  In case you are wondering, DD nurses about 5 - 6 time a day.  Perfectly normal and totally do able.  Some days she might nurse just 4 times, some days it can be like 8.  Everything from here on out is golden.  When will we stop nursing?  I have no clue.  Moving forward it's all on DD.  We'll stop when she is ready.  I met my goal so now I'll just listen to my DD.

Photo taken by AMZ Photo of Lufkin, TX.