Well more than one year later

 Wow, it is amazing how time flies when life is slapping you in the face.

Actually yes, life got down right awful right after my last post back at the end of April 2024.  My dad ended up in the hospital another two times in May 2024.  The first one was a fluke.  An infection that can happen with the intense surgery and recovery.  The second nearly killed him.

Without going to all of the details, I say this.  My dad was hours from septic shock when I rushed him to the ER.  Apparently, septic shock is a point of no return for most folks but my pig-headedness really did save him.  I was getting ready for work when I found him.  He was struggling to open his eyes and could not put a full sentence together.  Because he was still recovering from the Feb 2024 surgery, I had to rush him to the closest Baylor Scott and White ER, which for me was two hours away in College Station.  

Many things about that day went right and one thing that still haunts: my decision to go to College Station rather than travel the extra hour to his doctors in Temple.  It eventually meant he had to be life-flighted between hospitals.  College Station found his bladder had ruptured and he was septic.  They were not equipped for his care, so they wanted him sent to Temple.  The ambulance would be another four hours and they wanted to move him while he was stable to they decided to life flight him.  One of the hardest moments of my life was watching them load my daddy in that helicopter and then having to drive the hour by myself not knowing what I was going to find on the other end.  Knowing I was doing this by myself because my husband, mom, and girls were at home and had to drive three hours to meet me in Temple.  I still don't know what exactly held me together as I drove Texas back roads with tears running down my face and panic choking me.  

He was very touch-and-go for a few days.  It was bad enough that he was making final arrangements for himself.  It was bad.  It was made worse by the fact that it was also my 45th birthday.  Easily the worst birthday ever.

The rest of 2024 was spent running to Temple once a month for the rest of the year.  I report that by December he was really back on the mend and now he back to himself, like before the big surgery.

2024 ended with a bang!  My BlaxicanMMA turned 15!  As part of my dad's recovery, he wanted to celebrate her with a traditional Mexican quinceañera.  While not exactly all the way traditional, she did have a grand party and 100 or so folks joined us in celebrating this huge milestone.  One that BlaxicanMMA was now 15 but also that my dad was here to celebrate it with us.  Even my grandmother was there!  

Just when I started to relax, we got slapped again with my father-in-law having a stroke in January of this year.  Thankfully, hubby's brother recognized the signs and got him to the hospital before too much damage occured and I can report that he is almost like his old self again.

Now that isn't to say that the moms, mine and hubby's, haven't had their own health challenges in the last year but of course women are much less dramatic when it comes to such things.  Both moms have issues with their eyesight.  Issues that mean hubby and I have to make sure we get our yearly eye appointments in.  

Lastly, a quick update on my little bit, LalaWarriorPrincess.  She has started the viola and she loves it. 
She swept most of the academic awards for her grade this year.  She is still a joy and my heart in the world.  

I don't know how I would have survived 2024 without my husband and girls.  2025 has bucked just a bit but just last month hubby graduated with his Master of Education in Counseling!  He is waiting on some state tests before he can apply for his LPC-A but then he'll be continuing in his new career.  I am so proud of him!

That is the quick and dirtly update of the last 13 or so months.  This year I purposely pretended that I didn't not have a birthday and no one ended up in the hospital so while correlation does not equal causation, I probably won't be celebrating any birthdays in the future; I'll just magically be older.

Hello Darkness my old friend

 There are moments in life that you cement in your memory.  Holding your baby for the 1st time.  Walking across the stage for your doctorate.  Your dad tells you he has cancer.  5 years ago, almost 6 now, my dad started a colon cancer journey that would see him nearly die twice and undergo 3 separate surgeries; each surgery literally taking a piece of him.  

On January 18th, as I was getting ready for work, my dad stopped me and asked me to contact his cancer doctor; he thought his cancer was back.  I stayed visibly calm, said I would take care of it, and then went to my room to cry.  I took a moment or two and then I dried my eyes and contacted the doctor.

We had an appointment for the next week, about a 5-day wait.  We saw the doctor, got a series of appts, and got sent home.  Honestly, I don't think the doctor quite believed my dad about his symptoms.  Then two days later, my dad tells my mom he needs to go to the ER, everything is worse.  They decided to wait until Friday, Jan 26, since I don't work Fridays, so I could go with him and advocate.  That was the last day my dad was in Lufkin.  He has been in Temple ever since and we don't know when he will come home.

He had major abdominal surgery on Feb 15th.  A surgery scheduled for 6 hrs took 18 and landed my dad in the ICU.  That was a hard day, just waiting and waiting.  We were told around 7pm that it would be a few more hours due to an accident during surgery. The accident took 6 hrs to repair and then he had 3 more hours of surgery to complete the fix.  The good news: no cancer!  The bad news: lots of complications.

I got to stay with my dad while he was in the ICU.  I was so worn out by the night before waiting on him to come out of surgery that I actually slept on that tiny guest bed and even slept through the midnight blood draws.  We had to leave Temple for a BJJ tournament on Saturday and I got to see my dad that morning before leaving.  I got to see him get out of bed!  

He has not had an easy time of it this time.  The previous 3 surgeries, he was out of the hospital in 3 days.  This time we are about to be at 7 days and he still can't eat.  They won't release him until he is eating.  He can't eat because his intestine isn't awake yet.  He ran a fever two nights ago and yesterday they placed some tubes into his kidneys.  We are playing the waiting game.  

Yesterday, I was working on something at my desk and decided to check-in on my dad.  I happened to call while a nurse was in the room informing him of the procedure to insert the tubes into his kidneys.  The interesting thing was that as I was listening in, "Pressure Machine" (the song not the album) by The Killers was playing.  This is a pressure machine.  Will I pop or can I hold on long enough to welcome my dad home?

Below is my Facebook status from Sunday, Feb 18:

I'm sitting outside trying to get some sunshine therapy. To say these past 5 days have been hard would be an understatement.

Seeing my dad on a ventilator, watching the agony on his face waiting for the breathing tube to be removed, and then watching the excruciating pain he went through standing for the 1st time post surgery.

I thought I was ready for this past Wednesday. We knew it could be a long day. We knew it could be more difficult than expected but how do you prepare for a surgery that is scheduled for 6 hrs but goes for 18? All we wanted was for a 100% robotic surgery and when they opened him up completely, the devastation was almost overwhelming.

Instead of bringing my dad home today like we had hoped and prayed for, I left Temple yesterday with zero idea of when he is coming home.

There were bright spots. Moments with Ray and the girls but it is hard.

It is hard to balance the little girl who wants to be with her daddy with the woman who has to go to work and run a household while adding in the requirements of managing my dad's health from afar.

I can really feel the pressure when it comes back after a break. Watching Audrey yesterday and focusing down to just being Audrey's mom was a welcomed respite. We walked the Comerica Center laughing and celebrating that I forgot I had left my dad then on the way home I realized I had no idea when I would see my dad again.

While I was sitting in the ICU with my dad there was a young mother in the next room and her 4-year-old kept running and screaming in the hallway. While I question the parenting of allowing such a young child into the ICU, I also understand the needs of that baby. He just wanted his mommy. I hope his mom makes it out of the ICU and back home. I pray for all of the shell-shocked families I saw in the ICU.

For now, my dad is waiting on his body to come back to life. His intestine has been traumatized for the 4th time and the very complicated surgery has made it hard for it to wake up. The doctor said this is normal. Don't worry, yet. This is normal, just give it time. So from 3 hours away, I wait with my phone by my side.

Read anything and everything

So as a librarian, the question I get asked most often is how do I get my children to read or to read more?  My first question to them is what does your child like to read?  Usual answer, nothing.

So what is up with the lack of love of reading?  Is it a new thing?  Can we blame the internet?  Personally, I blame parents.  Okay okay, hear me out.  Not every parent is to blame for their child's lack of love of reading.  The love reading is complex thing.  Well in reality, all love is complex but anyways.

How can a parent help their child read/love to read/read more?  I think, this is totally just me, no research, just an opinion, parents need to read.  Your child needs to see that you read.  If the parent reads then the child will see that reading is important.  They see reading and then they begin to think that should read.  Simple, right?  Be the change you want to see.

Many times when I ask parents for a topic for books for their children, the parent has no clue.  Well I think she might like a book on fairies.  Do you have anything for a 3rd grader?  Reading level has nothing to do with developing a love of reading.  I have read things above my head (anything Shakespeare) and things that super easy but keep my attention (Don't let the pigeon drive the bus).  Telling a librarian a grade level doesn't really mean much unless your only goal is AR points.  (I hate AR but that's a post for another day).

I know the next problem is my child is behind.  My child has a special issue.  My child can't read so how can they ever love to read?  I have watched children who are mentally handicapped enjoy books.  Looking at the pictures and being read to are things anyone can do and love.  To bring your child's reading level up read with and to them.  So again the parent needs to have an active role.

My own reading journey starts with my dad.  My dad is a reader.  My grandfather was a reader.  I am a reader.  My child is a reader.  How do you have a line of readers?  You read.  It is not unusual to see DH, Audrey and myself reading in front of the TV.  Yes the TV is on and no one is paying it any attention.

I know that in schools the focus is on testing and that makes reading level most important.  Your child's reading level should not be the only focus when you choose a something to read.  READ ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.  Read a cereal box at breakfast.  Read the funny pages.  Read the Wall Street Journal to your baby.  The what is not important.  Reading in and of itself is the important thing.  Please let your child read a manga/comic book.  If they are excited then let them read it.  Parents read, read to your child and read with your child.  If you want a reader in your house then you have to be the example.  If you talk about how horrible reading is or how dumb it is to read then don't be surprised when you a child that hates reading.

Please ask the school and/or public librarian for help.  We love to help people find the right book but don't look at us cross eyed when we ask you for help.  We're librarians not mind readers.  Find your library and use it.  Choose graphic novels, picture books, long fiction books, maybe even a magazine and take them home.  Don't force it.  If you put the example and read something then your child might just start picking through the pile and read something too.