Yesterday I had the need to practice neutral face. You might ask what is neutral face? That's easy; it's when someone says something shocking and because of the who or where you cannot express your feelings so you keep a neutral face.
As a crunchish mama, I am finding the need to perfect my neutral face. I am finding that a lot of very smart people do things that require my neutral face. I don't want to pass judgement. They parent their way and I parent my way. I have seen many a person have neutral face with me. It's cool and thank you for being kind enough to use your neutral face.
So go practice your neutral face. You will find it very handy.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
The sweetest moments
So today Audrey feel asleep on my chest. It always reminds me of Audrey's first nap. It makes me miss my baby.
Audrey doesn't let me hold her to rock her to sleep anymore. She'll nurse and then roll her back to me. She prefers to sleep in her sidecar.
I will never forget the sweetest moment of my life: Audrey's first nap. It was two hours post partum. Debbie, my midwife, had cleaned me up and with Ray's help put me in bed. They handed my Audrey to me and we got comfortable. She relaxed and fell asleep. I had a moment before I fell asleep were I felt peaceful, whole, beautiful and that everything was right in the world. I will carry that moment with me always.
Everything she goes to sleep on my chest, I breath her in deep and I go back in time. She was new and I was new to motherhood. We had just had life transforming moments. We had worked together and now we were resting together. She hadn't been given a bath yet so she still smelled of amniotic fluid. I hadn't taken a bath yet so I had the smell of amniotic fluid on me. It was perfect. We were perfect.
Audrey doesn't let me hold her to rock her to sleep anymore. She'll nurse and then roll her back to me. She prefers to sleep in her sidecar.
I will never forget the sweetest moment of my life: Audrey's first nap. It was two hours post partum. Debbie, my midwife, had cleaned me up and with Ray's help put me in bed. They handed my Audrey to me and we got comfortable. She relaxed and fell asleep. I had a moment before I fell asleep were I felt peaceful, whole, beautiful and that everything was right in the world. I will carry that moment with me always.
Everything she goes to sleep on my chest, I breath her in deep and I go back in time. She was new and I was new to motherhood. We had just had life transforming moments. We had worked together and now we were resting together. She hadn't been given a bath yet so she still smelled of amniotic fluid. I hadn't taken a bath yet so I had the smell of amniotic fluid on me. It was perfect. We were perfect.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The attached parent
So this whole style of parenting thing is still on my mind. Like I've said before I'm not into labels. Do I fit the label of attachment parenting, yes. I babywear, I breastfeed, I bed-share, I'm against CIO and I love my Audrey. I dislike the idea that people who aren't attached parents are dettached parents. The label is awful and misleading. Like my parenting is better or more in-tune.
I think part of what bothers me is that it implies that I set out to be an attached parent. I'm going to be honest. If I could parent anyother way I probably would. I mean I don't really like having a baby kick me in the kidneys at 3am but I can't image her sleepping in another room. I didn't like leaking all over myself but I'm too cheap to spend money on formula. I would use a stroller but I'm terrified someone would steal Audrey when I turn around to look at something. I didn't set out to be attached; Audrey just kinda got attached.
I can be a bit of a controlfreak so the idea that I can control my diet and therefore Audrey's diet (via breastmilk) was a need in me. I can't trust a formula company; it is just not in me. I can't trust people to keep their hands to themselves. I want to know where Audrey is at all times. I don't want people touching my kid and having her on me (literally) means no strange hands. The bed thing, well after carrying her for 9 months in me, the idea of her down the hall just didn't work. We tried to do the crib in room but she was so little and she cried and I couldn't handle it so she moved into our bed and has been there ever since.
So maybe I'm attached but it wasn't a choice. It really did just happen but I am more than a label. Like any parents attached/dettached a label is not the whole person. We do the best we can.
I think part of what bothers me is that it implies that I set out to be an attached parent. I'm going to be honest. If I could parent anyother way I probably would. I mean I don't really like having a baby kick me in the kidneys at 3am but I can't image her sleepping in another room. I didn't like leaking all over myself but I'm too cheap to spend money on formula. I would use a stroller but I'm terrified someone would steal Audrey when I turn around to look at something. I didn't set out to be attached; Audrey just kinda got attached.
I can be a bit of a controlfreak so the idea that I can control my diet and therefore Audrey's diet (via breastmilk) was a need in me. I can't trust a formula company; it is just not in me. I can't trust people to keep their hands to themselves. I want to know where Audrey is at all times. I don't want people touching my kid and having her on me (literally) means no strange hands. The bed thing, well after carrying her for 9 months in me, the idea of her down the hall just didn't work. We tried to do the crib in room but she was so little and she cried and I couldn't handle it so she moved into our bed and has been there ever since.
So maybe I'm attached but it wasn't a choice. It really did just happen but I am more than a label. Like any parents attached/dettached a label is not the whole person. We do the best we can.
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