Yes, the title is a reference to the ABBA song. That song played in my head today. Today I put up my pump and Audrey's bottles. I sobbed. I'm crying even now.
I find it so hard to believe that it is that time. I should have put it all up a month ago but I just wasn't ready to let it all go.
She is growing up so fast! I still feel that newborn being placed on my chest for the first time. Now she's 32 inches tall! Where did the time go? Does always move so fast? I keep thinking that I going to turn around and she'll be graduating from college.
Slipping thur my fingers always comes to mind when I think Audrey going up. The time is moving so fast, slipping thur my fingers in deed. The song always makes me cry. I remember how hard I sobbed listening to the song when I was pregnant. I think maybe I cry too easily.
I'm not ready to see Audrey grown up. I want my baby but there is no way but forward. Audrey is no newborn; she is a toddler. I thank God for each moment with her. I know I don't deserve this wonderful girl. So yes it feels like it is all slipping thur my fingers; all moving so quickly.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wheatless for life?
Can I really do it? Can I really stop eating wheat for the rest of my life? If I commit, can I see it through?
DH and I had a long talk about this topic today. We have decided that our house will be a Wheatless house. We will be a Wheatless family. DH said that we should not kept Wheatless when nit around Audrey. That her allergies are her allergies and no matter what I eat or don't eat I'm not allergic to wheat. His point being i can't suffer for her. He is right. If I keep strictly Wheatless after she weans then it needs to be because I want to not because Audrey has an allergy.
A Wheatless family but not a Wheatless life. Not sure if that makes sense but I'm starting to understand this new phase of my life. While yes my life would be easier if my Audrey didn't have a food allergy, this allergy really has made me a better mom. I don't just shove food in Audrey's mouth or my mouth. I stop and think. I spend time thinking about and reading over food choices. I don't just hand her a cookie. I stop to search for a good wheatfree snack. Honestly, the allergy slows me down and I need to be slown down. I tend to just hurry up and get things done but now I have to stop and read. I know I'll eventually learn what to buy and my shopping and feeding will speed up. So for now I am thankful. Thankful to slow down and focus. Thankful the allergy isn't deadly. Thankful I have my Audrey, allergies and all.
DH and I had a long talk about this topic today. We have decided that our house will be a Wheatless house. We will be a Wheatless family. DH said that we should not kept Wheatless when nit around Audrey. That her allergies are her allergies and no matter what I eat or don't eat I'm not allergic to wheat. His point being i can't suffer for her. He is right. If I keep strictly Wheatless after she weans then it needs to be because I want to not because Audrey has an allergy.
A Wheatless family but not a Wheatless life. Not sure if that makes sense but I'm starting to understand this new phase of my life. While yes my life would be easier if my Audrey didn't have a food allergy, this allergy really has made me a better mom. I don't just shove food in Audrey's mouth or my mouth. I stop and think. I spend time thinking about and reading over food choices. I don't just hand her a cookie. I stop to search for a good wheatfree snack. Honestly, the allergy slows me down and I need to be slown down. I tend to just hurry up and get things done but now I have to stop and read. I know I'll eventually learn what to buy and my shopping and feeding will speed up. So for now I am thankful. Thankful to slow down and focus. Thankful the allergy isn't deadly. Thankful I have my Audrey, allergies and all.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
No guaranty on a baby
So the other day my mom told me that I can only have a second baby if I can guaranty the baby would be normal. I know she is joking. She can't wait for me to have another baby but at the same time I can hear the stress that having a wheat-free grandchild has been for both of my parents. On more than one occasion my dad has said that he wishes he could take Audrey out for chicken nuggets and French fries.
I do wonder about the next baby. Will all of my children have a wheat allergy? What was the likelihood that my first child would have DH's allergy? Even if all my future children are "normal," can you have a split house? Everyone but Audrey eating pizza; I don't think that would work. Honestly, I'm beginning to think that I need to think about being wheat-free for the rest of my life. In order for Audrey to be normal being wheat-free needs to be our normal.
DH's parents were also telling us to stop having children. But they were saying that in terms of looks. According to them, Audrey is so cute that any other kids/daughters would not be as cute. Not sure what to say about that one. Maybe Audrey will be the homely one. Maybe my other children won't be as cute.
No baby comes with a guaranty so God willing we'll roll the dice and have another child within the few years. Will the child be 'normal'? Will he/she be as cute? Will we be able to handle more than one child? So many unknowns but then that is what makes life worth living. If I knew all of the answers then there would be no point to living. We must live and learn.
I do wonder about the next baby. Will all of my children have a wheat allergy? What was the likelihood that my first child would have DH's allergy? Even if all my future children are "normal," can you have a split house? Everyone but Audrey eating pizza; I don't think that would work. Honestly, I'm beginning to think that I need to think about being wheat-free for the rest of my life. In order for Audrey to be normal being wheat-free needs to be our normal.
DH's parents were also telling us to stop having children. But they were saying that in terms of looks. According to them, Audrey is so cute that any other kids/daughters would not be as cute. Not sure what to say about that one. Maybe Audrey will be the homely one. Maybe my other children won't be as cute.
No baby comes with a guaranty so God willing we'll roll the dice and have another child within the few years. Will the child be 'normal'? Will he/she be as cute? Will we be able to handle more than one child? So many unknowns but then that is what makes life worth living. If I knew all of the answers then there would be no point to living. We must live and learn.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)