Friday, February 21, 2014


This is actually an assignment that I had to turn in last semester.  I sparked a lot of discussion for our group and really made me think about where I draw my own lines.  Just wanted to share.

My personal non-negotiables are flexible.  I think being inflexible leads to a person’s inability to forgive themselves for falling short.  We all fall short and as such we need to be able to forgive ourselves for times we don’t stand up, we stay silent, and in general violate our personal non-negotiables.  I honestly believe that a person’s inability to forgive themselves leads to refusing to allow others into our lives because we fear being seen as a fraud to ourselves and then in turn to them. 

  1. I will treat others in a matter that makes them feel seen, heard and valuable.  When I fall short I will examine why I failed and how I can do better next time.
  2.  I will treat myself as I feel that I should treat others.  I cannot treat others better than I treat myself.  If I don’t begin with being my best to myself then others will see my efforts as disingenuous and/or as a means to take advantage of me.
  3.    I will be grateful for the life I have even when it seems to be going in a direction I do not like.  Being grateful will require me to stop and exam my attitude towards in the world in general and this will allow me to refocus myself on bring positive change into the world.
  4.    I will listen without judgment realizing that I can only see through my own life experiences and that I cannot judge what others due since time, circumstance and life experience are different for everyone.
  5.   I will practice forgiveness of myself and others.  Anger and grudges only serve to hurt me and if I keep hurt within me then I cannot keep the first four non-negotiables. 

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