Friday, February 22, 2019

I stopped the run . . .

On Wednesday, I went out of my weekly mid-day run.  I try to get a mile of at least walking each day and twice a week, I try to get in a run of about 30 mins or so.  I was so excited to have a pretty day and coverage for the library so I went out with a happy heart.  I guess a happy heart translates to moving with a bit more speed because Nike+ called me at 11:51/mile at .25 miles.  Then my watch also made some noise about being at less than 12 min per mile and then disaster.  My mind said, "Shit that has to be wrong.  I must have the wrong setting again."  I stopped my run.  I quit the run in the app at .41 miles with a sub12min/mile pace.  I double checked all of my settings and they were right.  Outdoor, check.  Distance: 3.1 miles, check.  Was my time really sub-12 on an outdoor run?

I restarted my run and off I went.  I was proud of myself for double-checking my settings and trying to get it right.  Then at my first .25 miles, Nike+ again called sub-12.  SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!  I had really been running a sub-12.  I was actually doing it!?  Then I lost all my will to run.  I had cheated myself.  Because I didn't believe that I could run at sub-12, I didn't.  Simply put, I didn't run because I didn't believe in me.  I did finish the run.  You can totally see on the picture that my pace was less than stellar: 13:36/mile.  I finished.  I started a 2nd time and I finished.  So actually I got 3.5 miles so it wasn't a total loss.

I have been running somewhere between 5-10 miles each week pretty consistently for about 3-4 months.  I don't run fast.  I don't need to qualify for the Boston marathon to call myself a runner.  I just move.  That being said, I do want to get faster.  Sub-12 minute outdoor miles are this year's goal for me.  I was there and I totally let it slip away.

Self-sabotage!  I don't have anyone else to blame.  No excuses to make.  I didn't believe in me so I quit.  Lesson learned.  I am better, stronger, greater than I think I am.  My mind will quit long before my body. 

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Beauty is in the eye of beholder and their programming

Between issues of safety (thanks, Trumpers) and being in an HBCU (historically Black college/university), I have been contemplating my "look."  I have noticed many of my non-White friends looking a bit "Whiter" these days but being at a place that promotes people of color to embrace their natural selves and beauty, I feel like my outward aesthetic needs work.

Things this post is not meant to do:
1: Be judgey.  Dude totally do you.  You have your reasons for why you present as you do.  If you like it then rock it.
2: Tell you how to look.  Do you.
3: Determine my final look.  It, as everything, evolves

So what is bothering me with my look? 

Well, I'm turning 40 this year and blessing and curse is that I don't look my age.  I usually get pegged somewhere between 30-35.  I'm in a profession were being older is equaled with experience and knowledge.  Librarianship is a greying profession and while there are plenty of young librarians out there, most aren't directing an academic library like I am.  I have 10+ years in the field of library and education but my "look" doesn't not necessarily show that.  So I do try to look a little older.  I stopped coloring my hair.  Not only do my gray/silver streaks promote the idea that I am older; it also cost me less time and money to maintain than if I keep on coloring it.  I've noticed so many Latinas with naturally dark hair going blonde, like their entire head not just streaks.  I got some blonde highlights a couple years back and I hated them!  I wanted to cut them out I hated them so much.  They were super well done.  My husband paid mega-bucks for me to have an amazing salon experience and I hated those highlights with a passion.  Why hate them?  I felt so fake.  I would look in the mirror and that person just wasn't me.  So the idea of turning my entire head blonde sounds like a good way to end up shaving my head.  I'm not sure about keeping my gray.  I had been doing a bright red and really loved it but again it makes me look younger.  Jury is still out on this one.

So again I don't really look like I'm turning 40 in May.  I have some fine lines but nothing major.  What I don't do is use base/foundation at all.  I wear lipstick to work or if I go out.  I wear some black eyeliner and that's pretty much it.  I look around and see people posting pictures of eyeshadow palettes.  People doing something called contouring.  I don't have any idea why someone needs so many eyeshadow colors and why change the shape of your face like daily?  I understand for performance or a special night out but daily?  Fuck that.  My face it okay.  I get lots of complements on my skin so I don't foresee a change to my makeup routine as of yet.  Red lips, black eyeliner for the day, remove with coconut oil, start the day with almond oil.

Everywhere I look I see women and men with their nails done up.  The guys tend to wear clear polish but they look good.  Like, my nails are weak AF!  They break if I type too hard.  In theory a cover of shellac might help.  I love having red polish on but I smudge it and chip it almost immediately so it feels like a waste of time.  I don't want to wear fake nails because I don't want long nails.  I like mine short so that I can work.  I've had the nail stuff put on, minus the tips, to help keep my nails looking good but that is a commitment.  Going in for a fill every 2 weeks, I just don't have time.  I would love to turn this into a thing I do but I don't really see it happening.

It is winter so so far toes are under cover.  I do like to have color on my toe nails.  It makes me feel pretty.  I usually see women of color with designs and such but this is the only time DH steps in.  He hates designs on toes.  I don't care enough to fight him on it so classic red it usually is.  I like to take Gymgirl for mom/daughter mani/pedis so maybe we can bring that back.

Overall you just read a whole lot of nothing!  Final thought, do you. 

Monday, February 4, 2019

Conscious Uncoupling

After over 20 years together, Dr. Wheatless Mama and ASCIS have decided to consciously uncouple themselves.  Dr. Wheatless was just a young newbie member of the cross country team when she met ASCIS.  They quickly became inseparable.  However in the last few years, between Dr. Wheatless's changing shoe needs and ASCIS changing models and changes in quality, it became apparent to both that their relationship needed to end.

In order to quell rumors, founded or unfounded, Dr. Wheatless would like to state that she is dating other shoes and is currently getting serious with Hoka One One.  This is still a very new relationship and Brooks is also a serious contender for Dr. Wheatless's feet and racing needs.  As always, Dr. Wheatless will keep you abreast of any changes as she continues to train for the Hells Hills 25k Trail Race in April.  Dr. Wheatless would also like to thank the staff of Brown's Shoe Fit in Lufkin, Tx for helping her see just how necessary the change in shoe company had become and highly recommend everyone get fitted at their local running shoe store.

Goodbye my beloved ASCIS.  I will miss you but honestly it was you and you had to go.  (Picture above is from my senior year of high school and 3rd pair of ASICS.)

Thursday, January 17, 2019

#MealtimeMiles - Lunch runs

So this week, I have been committed to moving a mile during my lunch break.  It occured to me that if I would walk/run/move a mile during my lunch break each day that I would have moved 5 miles each week.  Now part of the motivation comes from Run the Year 2019.  For RTY, you commit to move 2019 miles.  Now some people run that many miles.  I'm not there yet.  For me, the goal is to move 2019 miles, walk, run, crawl if I have to but move.

Why bother?  So it is not about losing weight.  I do have plenty to lbs to lose but I am a point in my life that I know the scale does not reflect my worth, hotness, or health.  I want to be healthy.  There are skinny people with ideal BMI that can't run a mile!  There are obese people who finish ultra marathons so yeah, the scale is a lier if you are measuring health.

As a goal oriented person moving 2019 miles gives me a goal.  Now according to RTY, I would need to move an average of 11,000 steps or about 5.5 miles a day to get 2, 019 miles this year.  I"m not there yet.  I am part of a team and while the other two members only record runs, I'm recording everything.  It is important to me that I see my number growing and if I only count runs than I know I'll abandon the whole thing.

Right now I'm getting a mealtime mile each day, with a goal of 6,000 steps each day.  Now that should translate to 3 miles a day but Samsung Health says that for me it is only about 2.5 miles.  What the hell?  Anyways, not important, the point is to move.  In theory if I move more than my weight should come down with it.  I am not going to change my diet.  Being gluten-free, plus the allergies in my family, are hard enough.  I have started bringing 10 boiled eggs to work with me on Monday.  They are my emergency breakfast/lunch/snack eggs.  Unless I have a mealtime meeting, I am not allowing myself to go out for a quick bite.  Thankfully I really like eggs and love egg salad.  I think this will help me save money and eat healthier too.

Will any of these change stick?  I'm not sure.  Will anything about me change?  I'm not sure about that either but I like the challenge.  This week so far, I've hit my steps before leaving work each day.  Twice, I've gone out for 30 min runs, which have gotten me just over 2 miles per run.  I haven't stepped on the scale or done measurements but I feel good, with a bit more energy.  I have also noticed that my left ankle hurts so I"m not sure about tomorrow's mile but we'll see.  Surely I can crawl a mile!

So join me.  Get in your mealtime mile!  Move a mile and then eat that Whataburger!  Just commit to moving.  We can't wish our way to health.  Who knows maybe by the end of the year, I'll be able to walk up a flight of stairs and not be breathing so hard at the top that I want to die!

FYI: This picture is from the one and only time I ran a half-mary distance.  Still haven't run a half-mary race and that is totally cool!