Thursday, October 16, 2014

When are you going to have another baby?

So I'm 35 and have one child.  No this was not my plan.  I had planned to have 4 kids and I would have been done having them last year.  Some how my plans did not get properly transmitted to the Big Guy Upstairs and my plans didn't come to pass.  I'm getting good with it.  I'm not totally good with it but I'm getting there.

I get asked the dreaded question, when are you going to have another one?, and I'm getting tired of answering it.  Why do people care about the status of my uterus?  Have I screwed up so badly with GymGirl that they are trying to see if I'll do better next time?  Why do people ask?

As far as I can see GymGirl will be an only child.  So not my plan!  I know I'm in good company with other fabulous mothers who only have one child.  But yes it hurts to think I'm done at one.  We've been trying for a while and nothing.  I'm pretty sure I've had at least one very early miscarriage but otherwise no baby.

I don't want to tell random people my uterus business.  Why do random people ask?  Seriously you just met me and you want to know when I'm having another one.  Why do people bypass me and ask my daughter if she wants a baby brother or sister?  Like this isn't hard enough without extra pressure of a child asking for you to reproduce.

I'm no where near out of options.  We haven't been to a specialist.  We have even put a baby to the back burner until after I become Dr. Wheatless Mama.  I'm 35 and healthy.  In my family babies after 40 are pretty common.  If a baby is in my future still then I'll happily embrace that future but if I'm one and done then I'm getting good with that too.

Being Catholic the implication to only one child is that I'm using artificial birth control.  People have a hard time believing that some women, Mexican women in particular, have a hard time getting pregnant.  I use NFP, Natural Family Planning.  We have since we got married and God's plan so far is for us to have only one child. 

I am running out of patience and not super personal answers.  I don't want to lie or be rude but seriously what the hell kind of answer do you expect?  Like I'm going to announce to a perfect stranger that actually I'm pregnant now but we haven't told anyone.  What exactly do people want to know when they ask that question?  Anyways this was mostly a rant.  Moving on . . .

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Exoskeleton of Support

So the band I'm in played a benefit gig a few weeks back.  I noticed many people stayed outside but told us we sounded great.  I think the idea was that they were being supportive but it was just too loud for them.  They had a our back though.  I've been sitting with this idea a while and I'm still quite confused by the whole thing.

How can you sit outside and still be supportive?  If I don't walk in to place, is my declaration of support still valid?  This brings to mind all of the online petitions that get passed around.  Those are the very least we can do.  If I am doing the bare minimum am I actually doing anything? 

I am very much a get off your ass type of person.  If I believe in something and I can do something to help then I try my best to get off my ass and help.  I've cleaned up "bad" neighborhoods.  I've played games with seniors in a nursing home.  I've attended punk rock shows even then I think they are too loud and I'm too old.  I've gone to events in other cities to be supportive of the organization even when I didn't know any of the performers.  Can you be supportive if you never get up?

I keep thinking about the idea of shop local, support downtown, buy organic and those such movements.  DH owns a coffeeshop in downtown Lufkin.  I ask people to buy local and support downtown.  I changed to a beautyshop downtown.  I try to buy clothes in downtown but I don't really have much luck since I'm a lady of a certain size.  I want others to be downtown so I'm downtown.  Should I be doing more?  I guess we can usually do more. 

Where is the line of support?  Can my online signature do anything?  Does my dollar do as much as me getting off my ass actually helping build a habitat for humanity house?  Can I say I'm supporting something, a business, a musician, an artist, but sit outside?  I have no answers and mixed up feelings.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Update September 2014

So I'm busy.  Stats is hard.  Change theory is hard.

I have joined a roller derby league.  DH has opened a business, more details to come as he actually opens.

Gym girl is doing well.  First team performance will be next week.  First team competition will be next month.

Short sweet and very incomplete.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Update on life/unschooling

So I've been busy and lazy.  Blogging as of late has not been appealing even though I've had lots of blogging ideas.  Writing them down just has not been part of the thinking process.

As far as an update I am jumping into the world of research and will be taking a statistics class this fall.  I'm not looking forward to weekly Wednesday night classes (I haven't done a weekly class since 2007 during my MLIS days).  It will be a huge adjustment for all of us.  I think GymGirl will have the hardest time since her team class is also on Wednesday nights and DH will also be changing jobs soon and he'll be working evenings.  GymGirl will go from having her mom and dad for dinner nightly to just mom and mom will be gone one night a week.  I worry about so much for her at once.

Unschooling seems to still be working for us.  I must admit I struggle with letting her take the lead.  I want to buy a curriculum and put it on her desk to sort of trick her into showing interest.  She is doing a great job reading.  She is muddling through "2nd Grade" level books.  I'm not sure what leveling books really does other than make a parent feel justified in their own parenting decisions.  Yeah, my 4-year-old is reading a 2nd grade book!  I'm a great mom!  It's so not like that!  GymGirl likes to read.  She sees her mom and dad reading all of the time so she puts books up too. 

We have started something new with GymGirl.  We are reading The Mouse and The Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary to her.  One chapter a day and we started on Monday.  It was one of my favorite books and I don't think GymGirl was too impressed with the first chapter but last night's chapter ended with a cliffhanger!  What happened to Ralph?  "Mom, did Ralph die?  Mom what happens next?"  You'll have to wait for Chapter 3 tomorrow.  I think I've got her hooked! 

DH will be staring The Wind in the Willows with her soon.  I think the chapters are too long but he loves the story and I think sharing what you love trumps "appropriate length" any day.  I mean these are chapter books and she is only 4. 

GymGirl is also showing a strong interest in math.  She does calculations for fun and then ask if she is right.  Her current math thing is to quiz everyone in the house on addition facts.  I guess we're fine just letting her explore life.