Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Martha



So I see myself as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man, you know from Ghostbusters.  Besides sounding crazy by admitting to this feeling, I find it also limits me in the things that I do.  I'm always afraid of taking too much room.  I worry about not having enough clearance to move around people.  This is become a painfully obvious problem in roller derby.

Roller derby requires that I am in tune with my body.  I have to know exactly where my hips are, my feet, my arms, like every part of me has to be in place or injuries and penalties will abound.  The problem is that I believe that my hips are huge.  I believe that my ass is so massive that I need extra clearance room.  If I give the room to my body that believe it needs then the jammer is going to get by me.  I'm going to try to block someone and they are going to skate right around me.  How do I move my brain past the feeling of being massive and into the reality of the situation?  The fact is I'm not that damn big!  I'm 5'4", about 230 lbs, and wear at size 14/16.  I'm just not Stay-Puft big!

I can't exactly put my finger on the when I got massive in my own mind.  Maybe it was the usually grade school teasing that made me balloon in my own head.  Being told I was super huge til the point that I believed it and made it my reality.  Just today I was walking from picking up lunch and some guy, like 20 or so, said "Hey I like your dress."  I totally ignored him.  I figured he was just trying to stop me long enough to make some joke at my expense.  What is he just liked my dress?  Anyways, at some point I will have to some to terms with my body in its real existence otherwise I'll never pass minimum skills.

Roller derby makes me see myself as strong.  Roller derby makes me push myself.  Can roller derby get me over my body image issues?  I guess only time will tell.  I can't do a proper hip check if I don't know where my hips are so I better get to knowing my body!


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Random #RollerDerby Craft: Team #CrossStitch

I have another roller derby craft ready! This one took forever!

You can't tell in the picture but the star and pivot stripe both have iridescent white floss.  It was a pain to work with and I don't think it shows up too well but the whole then felt incomplete without  something in the star and stripe.

As always you are welcome to download and make the pattern: Roller Derby Team.  Here is the link to the PDF: Roller Derby Team PDF.  The star is black but the pivot stripe is blank.  Play with colors and adapt as needed.  It's free so that all crafty derby girls can make cool crafty stuff! 

Any questions or suggestions drop me a line martha (at) wheatlessmama (dot) com


Friday, December 26, 2014

All I want for Christmas list 2014

For the last two years I've posted something I want for Christmas starting Dec 1 until Dec 24. I do it for a couple of reasons, when you have to write down what you want I think the universe tends to help focus energy in that direction, I find myself being more grateful for what I do have since I usually struggle to find something different that I want for each day, and people say I'm hard to shop for so I'm giving a concrete list of stuff that can be given to me. For the record, I'm not difficult to shop for, I'm not romantic or taken in by stuff. I want something practical or something that you can't usually buy. Anyways here was this year's list along with a note if I actually got it or not. Day 1: Grippy Socks (I found my old ones so that totally counts) Day 2: Over the Knee Socks that actually fit Day 3: New speed skates Day 4: Triple 8's knee pads (I actually got a great deal on some 187's so totally the same thing) Day 5: GymGirl's presents to be here on time (they were!) Day 6: Good Chai Tea Day 7: Master my crossovers (I doing the crossovers in motion not quite mastered but getting there) Day 8: Black knit pencil skirt Day 9: DerbySkinz Day 10: New Car Stereo Day 11: Nike fuel band or a FitBit or something similar Day 12: New wasp corset (DH got me two for Christmas day!) Day 13: New Brown Boots Day 14: Decorate the Hello Kitty cake with crussing (I did it but it was difficult) Day 15: Gluten-free Tiramisu Day 16: Havana Nights dress from Pin-up Girl Clothing Day 17: Cute printed leggings Day 18: Acupuncture Day 19: Silvery hoop earnings (for clarification, not real silver but silver-colored) Day 20: Warm hugs (I've received a few) Day 21: Sushi Day 22/23: New shoes Day 24: My voice (still not back, this is day 6 without it) So out of 24 wishes, 7 are done and the rest are in motion. Yes, I could put peace on Earth or good health but that just isn't as fun. I spend all of November posting what I'm thankful for so why not be more or less an ass leading up to December. Really stuff is the point of Christmas for most people. I don't really want stuff. People ask so here is a list. I could fill it with wishes for things like hugs but people don't like to work that hard.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Random #RollerDerby #Craft: Knock that Bitch on her Ass

Finally got another pattern drawn and cross stitched out. I like the helmet.  In the pattern I didn't use different colors but I think it's pretty easy to make a decision on where to draw the color line.  I also filled in the star.  I found it easiest to do just a couple of lines of the helmet (the one closest to the words) and then fill in the star.  I haven't made the PDF yet but I wanted to go ahead and get this up.  Hopefully I'll get a PDF up soon.  Let me know if the jpeg is too hard to work with or any other questions or comments! martha (at) wheatlessmama (dot) com
Here is the link to the pattern jpeg: Knock that Bitch on her Ass!
Here is the PDF: Knock that Bitch on her Ass!



Friday, December 19, 2014

Dis Bitch Done

So the title really doesn't mean anything other than me trying to get your attention :)

It happened!  I finally got a crossover while in motion!  So if you didn't know roller derby has a minimum skills test, which you must pass before you can actually join a team.  You don't want to send someone out there to get hurt.  The test covers everything from stopping to endurance and everything in between.  You learn more at Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) website (I've linked the information on minimum skills).

Well anyways, I ain't anywhere near passing minimum skills.  I have lots of skills to work on but I've been very stuck on crossovers.  I could do them standing but not in motion.  The only way to pass the endurance/speed test is with the crossovers.  Simply can't get enough speed going without them.  I've been so stuck that I didn't think I would ever get them.  I mean up until two weeks ago I was still holding the wall to crossrover!  I got them last night! 

I know I've been very in my head about the crossover.  SoHo has told me more than once to get out of my head and just skate.  I can't help it.  Can't you tell I'm usually in my head?  I mean I blog rather than talk.  So we fall in derby.  It's derby you are going to fall.  I know I am going to fall.  I fall every week!  I was so afraid of falling while crossing over.  I have no clue why.  I kept telling myself that it is okay to fall and just get it over with already. 

Last night, I went to roller derby with a different attitude.  I requested Black Widows (2 laps sprinted followed by an exercise like push-ups or mountain climbers).  I wanted to see how far I had come.  My first time doing Black Widows I had been on skate like three weeks.  I was scared.  I was the last person in each time.  I wanted to challenge myself.  I did great!  I was ready for crossovers.  I worked up the nerve and I crossed my legs in motion and I FELL!  I fell then I got up and like magic I could crossover.  I stopped looking at my feet and they were crossing over.  The worst that could happen happened and then I was okay! 

I have long way to go to passing minimum skills but I'm tackling each skill slowly and growing as a skater.  I am going to pass minimum skills.  I'm sure people are sick of me talking about roller derby but is what I'm working on at the moment.  I love roller derby! Enjoy the DC Roller Girls singing "Play Derby With Me"


Belated Wordless Wednesday: HappyBirthday GymGirl


Saturday, December 13, 2014

Why I wish everyday was #RollerDerby Day

I love roller derby.  I love that for once a week I don't feel so alone. I'm not sure how the rest of you feel but I feel pretty alone most of the time.  Even in a group I feel alone.  I'm not sure why but it is just my truth.  I'm the listener not the talker.  Even when I want to talk I never seem to find a listener.  I seem to have a role to play in this world and it usually involves me listening or being invisible.

Derby is different.  At derby I feel like I belong just as I am.  I don't have to pretend to be outgoing.  I don't have to pretend to be weak.  I don't have to hide.  Derby requires me to show all sides of myself.  I can't improve and get closer to passing the minimum skills test unless I'm honest about where in skill mastery I am.  I can't learn to jump in skates unless my teammates see me falling.  It is actually pretty freeing to have a place where I can really just be.

I started the year off with what I thought was solid group of friends by June I was alone.  Derby came into my life at the right time.  I wish it was derby everyday so that I could be me everyday.  I want to feel less alone.  Every Thursday I belong.  Every Thursday I fit in.  Every Thursday I feel needed and wanted.  I feel like if I missed derby Thursday, my derby sisters would miss me.  I wish it was derby everyday.