Tats and more

As I was coming home on Saturday from my last class of residency, I had the thought that I needed to mark this event with something.  I wanted to play a gig but that is hard to do at the last minute.  I wanted to get a piercing, just my ears again, but I hated the idea of dealing with keeping it clean.  Then a strange thought came across my mind a tattoo!   I honestly had not wanted another one.  I'm happy with the huge pro-breastfeeding pin-up on my left arm and was thinking I was good until after earning my EDd.  The tattoo idea itself was not strange actually it was the who to get a tattoo from that was strange.

You might remember my DH's bestie, AKA my Archnemesis.  So Archnemesis has recently started tattooing, just himself.  He's never tattoo anyone else but has been making designs to others.  I never asked about his tattooing or for a design.  I've been pretty busy with school so everyone else's goings on have been on the back burner.  Anyways, the universe decided I should ask Archnemesis.  Such a strange thing since for the most part we have a strained friendship, I mean I do call him a nemesis for a reason.

Anyways, I was talking to DH about it and DH sent the text from there the universe took over.  text at 7pm and the design by 10, tattoo at 12am.  I should say that Archnemsis specializes in hand-poke tattoos so one needle poking in the ink.  This tattoo was going to hurt.  Oh did I mention I would be the first person he had ever tattooed outside of himself?

The design process was strange.  What do you want?  I don't want bitch-ass flowers.  Bitch-ass flowers?  Yep none of that shit.  Then what do you want?  A pine tree.  What?  A pine tree.  Anything else?  No bitch-ass flowers.  End conversation.

So why the pine tree?  Well, I live in the land of pine tree.  It is often described at the the pine cone curtain.  Pine is one of my favorite smells since my dad has worked my entire life at a sawmill and he would come home smelling of pine.  It also seems feeling that I have a couple of flowers on my left arm for Ravebaby and my mom that my right arm have something for my dad.  That's the story of the pine tree. 

The whole tattooing process was actually okay.  I handled the pain well and Archnemesis's  design and work was great.  I think we all learned a lot from the process.  I now have a cool piece on my right arm and Archnemesis and I are okay terms.  My arm currently looks like he punched the shit out of me but considering everything it's probably just karma.

Hugs: Embrace your archnemises

So the last two months or so a Facebook post on hugging has been making the rounds.  I have seen it attributed to the Dalai Lama but who knows where is comes from but here is a version of it:





Anyways this has brought to mind the whole idea of hugging.  Being Mexican hugging is pretty normal.  We hug we give cheek kisses in general most Mexicans are very outwardly affectionate.  Being married to a black man, I have come to expect and enjoy the super hugs I receive from people who are total strangers to me but family via my husband.  I am from a family of hugs.  We love them and give them freely with each other.

I have many friends that are not from the same hugging affectionate crowd.  With them it is difficult to hug.  It is difficult to trust that when going in for a hug I won't be rejected.  I guess really comes to the heart of the matter: trust.  While yes Jesus was betrayed by a hug and a kiss, you have to have a certain openness or trust with someone to go in for the hug.  Trust that I am not invading your space but that I am welcomed into it.

How hard is it to hug someone you don't know?  Honestly I find it pretty easy.  I find it harder to hug someone I know.  If I "know" you in theory I trust you and in theory it should be easy but it also means that I know you are not a huggy person.  I know that a hug is an invasion to you no matter who does the hugging.  I can't hug you without making you feel uncomfortable and that makes me uncomfortable.  Hugs are an expression of affection, of love, or caring and of accepting.

So with all of that in mind I threw down a personal challenge to hug my Archnemises.  He is not from a hugging family.  High fives and handshakes but no hugs.  This was a true challenge for both of us.  It is weird to hug a mirror.  Anyways, I threw down my challenge on Monday and by Friday it was time to put up or shut up.  To make matters stranger, Archnemises was deathly ill so great bring on the germs.  We did hug.  It was strange.  It wasn't the warmest hug ever but thawing takes heat.

I think hugging is going to become part of the coffee crew greeting.  The crew is not much for hugging and I think it speaks to a lack of trust.  Maybe its is because we are all so hot that we worry that we'll just start making out mid-hug but I have a solution for that!  The good ol' Christian side hug!  No genitals near each other but still warm and friendly :)  Anyways, I did hug Archnemises on Monday and it was not as frosty.  See progress made!

Anyways, embrace people.  If the hugging rule is true, we all need hugs.  We all need to feel invited, accepted, and loved.  If I can hug my archnemises, then surely we can all grow instead of just survive.

Total Package

DH is the total package. One thing that has become clear over the last couple of weeks is no one wants to seen as replaceable. If I am only smart then I can be replaced with another smart person. If I am just pretty, there is always another pretty face. If I am the total package, if am I everything that is needed then I am much harder if not impossible to replace.

So DH is the total package. He is irreplaceable to me. There is no one else in this world who can be to me what he is to me. I could find another husband but they would live under DH's shadow. I could try but I would never succeed in finding a replacement. DH is the total package.

I know that that was part of my struggle. When I felt that I was only smart when that was seemingly taken away or tossed aside, I suddenly felt replaceable. I think Archnemesis was right, the important mission of the Hidden Village is to make sure each member knows he/she matters. We are not replaceable. At any giving job, task, relationship, we are or can be replaced. In the Village, no one else can be me. There is only one Martha, aka Wheatless Mama, and I matter.

So I am the total package and DH is my total package. Someday someone will find that Ravebaby is his/her total package. Even if that day never comes, she matters. You who ever you are you matter. If I know you, if we have never met, if all you have ever done is accidentally come across my blog, you matter. Our paths crossed and we are both a little different because of it. DH says each and every interaction marks us and makes a little different if we let it. I know I have strayed from my point, as usual, but the end point is you matter.

Random convo = random post about Archnemesis (warning: sex talk)

So the other while watching Phineas and Ferb with Ravebaby, yes we watch TV, I always said we were crunchyish but go ahead and judge. Anyways, Phineas and Ferb had a great song called My Nemesis. Of course being me, I went to YouTube found the link and posted it to Archnemesis's (do I need the extra s?) facebook wall. I liked the tune and the whole concept but failed to noticed the part of the song that talks about Perry the Platypus only wearing a hat and no clothes. Well he is a platypus so why would he wear clothes? So Archnemesis decided this was my way of hitting on him. I swear if I didn't know he was messing with me I would think he was the most narcissist man on earth instead of a good nemesis. So this little interaction of course leads to the following random thought and now blog post.

(Yes it involves sex so if you are easy to offend I suggest you run now.)

So how sex between Archnemesis and I would go like this:
( Sitting in a room on two chairs across the room from each other.)
Hi.
Hi.
(Stare some more. 20 minutes go by still sitting the the same places.)
I guess one of us should do something.
Like what?
Get naked?
No. I already feel dirty.
Oh okay then I guess we're done.
Yep
Ok
Ok
Bye
Bye
(Both leave from opposite ends of the room and immediately go shower to wash the grossness off.)

You expected something else, right? Nope, I am pretty sure this how it would go. I could be wrong but I highly doubt it.