Gymgirl Update - Becoming Blaxican MMA

 So if you have been a long-time reader of this blog then you know that it started when I found out I was expecting my first child.  That child is now 12-years-old and y'all she is just amazing!  

In 12 years we have gone from gymnastics to martial arts and that is where this update picks up.  I am going to retire Gymgirl, much like I did Ravebaby when she was well past being called a baby, and she will officially be BlaxicanMMA.  

So why that name?  My GymGirl is still at the gym just a martial arts gym.  She is there around 12 hours a week.  She has committed herself to becoming an MMA fighter.  It is not what my momma heart wants but it is what she wants so I'm having to learn all about MMA!

So far, I have learned that MMA moms have to watch their children get hit in the face.  I do not like this lesson.  I watch her at practice.  Honestly, I'm so clueless I have no clue if she is doing well or not.  I find it very confusing.  She had her first Brazillian JuJitsu tournament back in September and the first fight when it was over, I wasn't sure if she had won or lost.  It just all happened so fast!  She won by the way.  She brought home 2 gold medals and the best smile.  I was so proud of her!  I still don't want to watch her get hit in the face; I worked hard on that beautiful creation for 9 months, but she has goals and dreams so here goes!

Back to the Blaxican MMA thing, so part of being a professional fighter is social media presence so she has her own Instagram account for her fighting!  Can you guess the name?  Yeah, we went with Blaxican MMA.  Why that name?  Well, we decided that we wanted her to embrace her full ethnic/racial identity from the start, and what better way than to put it right in the handle.

This need to stand strong as a Blaxican fighter is part of the thing that makes me nervous with the world of MMA if I'm honest.  The roots of MMA are firmly in White supremacy, as in skinheads, not just the concept.  It is still a male-dominated sport.  I don't want to hear my baby called ugly names just because she is good and Black/Mexican.  I don't want to hear men say that if she was a man she wouldn't be considered good.  I want to protect her from judgments about her body shape.  I want to protect her from so many things but this is the world she wants to enter and to dominate.  

Y'all BlaxicanMMA is tough.  She is so much stronger than me.  I'm sure people have already said stuff to her.  She holds her head high and learns to punch harder.  Me?  I don't want to hear some sore loser dad saying anything ugly about my child because she just beat the shit out of his kid and I know the place they are going to go is attacking her Blackness/Brownness/Womanness.  How am I supposed to hear someone say shit about my daughter and hold my tongue?  I don't know.  At the tournament, she fought in an all-Latina field so nobody was ugly.  It won't always be like that so I worry about me and my actions.  I want to be strong for her and support her.  I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Anyways, my beautiful strong DD1 is officially on the 'Gram so give her a follow.  

Instagram - @blaxicanmma

You can watch that tiny baby that started it all grow into a full-blown MMA fighter!

Curly Adventures - Week 1 - I'm the world's worst mom

So last week after many weeks of watching one of my Ringsister from Hollins document her hair transformation, I just asked, "What are you doing to your hair?  It looks amazing."

I think I need to back it up a minute.  Why did I care about her hair?  One it does look amazing but two, Gymgirl!  Gymgirl has hair that is a blend between "white" people hair and "black" people hair.  Mixed kids can just end up with all kinds of hair and hair combination.  Now, my family has lots of curly hair but the texture isn't something we are use to.  I've watched Gymgirl's hair get more and more dull and tangle like crazy no matter how much product I put in it.  See Baby Lala has my hair but with gorgeous curls.  I want Gymgirl to have beautiful hair and I know I see people with curls wear their hair loose and relatively tangle free.  I needed help so I reached out.

Back to the current hair adventure.  She has switched to the Curly Girl Method (CGM).  Which basically is no shampoo and lots of moisture.  So I was right about needing product but I was using the wrong stuff.  So I read everything I can, I'm ordering the book with my next check, and watch 100s of youtubes about the different steps.  Ringsister added me to a fab Facebook Group and I read everything there, twice. 

Saturday, I was ready to begin.  Gymgirl was not sold.  So I CGMed up my own head.  I use to back in the day have lots of loose curls to super wavy hair but many years of straightening it had left it pretty flat and dull.  I want my curls back!  So I did one last cleansing shampoo then put on a thick layer of coconut oil and waited an hour.  I rinsed that out, added some Suave conditioner, rinsed that out, squeezed and scrunched my hair then added some gel.  I'm not sure I'm actually do any of the CGM right but hey it was my first time!

My hair looked good.  Crunchy but good.  My waves looked nice.  I almost left the house but instead I put on some pjs and watched tv.  Gymgirl was still not convinced. 

Sunday, Gymgirl's turn.  This child hates having her hair done.  That was my main reason for going to CGM.  They say once you get it down right, you can cut your hair time in half and kiss the tangles away.  I wash Gymgirl's hair.  I apply a thick layer of coconut oil and then let it sit of like 3 hrs.  Gymgirl hates coconut oil in her hair.  Apparently that was her number 1 issue the whole thing.  Rinse out the coconut oil, add in the Suave, finish with gel.  Her hair looked amazing.  Her curls were super bouncy and tangle free.  Success!

Not so fast.  You did read the title right.  So why am I so awful?  Well my hair is still looking good.  I've cowashed twice since Saturday and while I don't have the refresh routine down yet and my hair is still transitioning, seriously I'm very happy.  Gymgirl not so much.  You remember that Gymgirl has lots of allergies?  See I though since she had been using Johnson and Johnson Baby products without a breakout then we were good.  I was so wrong!  Tuesday, Gymgirl complained that her head was itchy.  She had a major breakout all on her scalp and  around her hair line.  Wednesday, the breakout had spread down her arms and back.  It wasn't worse yesterday but it won't better.  She won't let me touch her hair!  I know I need to wash out the products currently on it but she is fighting me.  So tomorrow, I'll wash it, then cowash it in not Suave, and use a curl souffle instead of a gel.  We'll see what happens!

You know I"ll give you a run down about how week 2 goes!

#wordlesswednesday: Gymgirl and Gymmom

So much life

It has been well over a year since I posted.  The last 3 months have been crazy let along the previous 20 months or so since I defended my dissertation.

I guess I'll start and just try to cover the big pieces of news:

1 - Dec 27, 2016, I gave birth to a daughter.  Her social media name is #BabyLala.  #Gymgirl loves her dearly and calls her an answer to her prayers.  Lala is amazing and so different from Gymgirl.  I love watching them interact and watching Lala develop into an amazing child.

2 - Snoopy dog was hit by a car and quickly passed on to dog heaven back in March.  Unfortunately, we were on a family walk and we saw the whole thing happen.  Gymgirl was totally lost in grief for many days.  It hurt to lose him.  For now, we are pet-less.  Which is good considering the next piece of news

3 - My dad has stage 3 rectal cancer.  We are in the process of getting him treatment but this is no easy task since he has no health insurance.  The struggle is beyond real at this point.  As a family, we are taking it in stride.  I am in charge of paperwork and making appointments.  DH is doing the majority of the driving for appointments.  The girls are surviving but Baby Lala has always stayed with my dad so being dropped off to other people for care has been hard on her.  My mom is taking it as well as can be expected.  I can see she is stressed and she is smoking more and running off to bingo to keep herself distracted.

Between the end of the school year, the start of the cancer journey with dad, and some health problems for other family members, I feel pretty drained and at a few points at my breaking point.  In the last 2 months, I have gone back to roller derby and running for stress relief.  Rather than go back to my old team, I have joined to other ladies in starting a fresh league.  It has been glorious as stress relief.  I have faith that my dad's journey will go according to God's plan and that I can survive whatever else comes my way.

I'll probably be blogging more just to give myself a way to log this new life journey.  In case you don't know, cancer sucks and the American healthcare system sucks too.

Why my daughter goes to #rollerderby with me . . .

I'm a newbie to the derby world.  Just yesterday I was telling someone that I had thought children changed everything and then derby happened.  Before derby I would have looked forward to going out on ladies nights for drinks and gossip, now I want to get more time on skates.  Before derby I coveted clothes or cool looking shoes, now I want gear!

So that is all well and good but what does it have to do with GymGirl?  GymGirl loves to go to derby.  She has made some incredible friends, other derby daughters.  She loves going to see her friends and she loves to cheer her momma on.  The second part is the big reason I want GymGirl to see me at derby.  She can cheer me on.  I'm 100% in my girl's corner.  I'm there cheering, videoing, being as supportive as possible while GymGirl does her thing.  Derby gives her the chance to do the same for me.

GymGirl sees me being strong, being weak, pushing hard, being pushed hard, working out, supporting other women, cheering other women, and the list goes on.  GymGirl knows I can't do everything at derby.  She sees me struggle and that is okay.  Struggle is a real part of life.  In the real world, the moms are strong and never let their children in on mom's struggles.  My daughter see me, all of me.  It is scary to be that raw with GymGirl.  She has seen me take some nasty falls and get back up.  GymGirl has been on the side of the rink cheering and yelling "Go Momma Go!"

We go roller skating a few times a month now.  GymGirl can not wait to be 7 and join Jr. Roller Derby.  GymGirl wants to be a rollergirl.  Derby has made GymGirl a better gymnast.  No more "I can't" instead I get "I just have to work a little harder."  She stops my negative talk and I stop hers.  We push each other to be better at the sports that we love.

Women do not often get to be in truly supportive groups.  It seems that in any group of women there is some competition going on, who is most successful, who got laid the most, who is the prettiest, who can run the longest,  and so on.  In derby, we don't have time for that.  I want each girl in derby to do her best and she wants the same for me.  If we stop to focus on who is the prettiest we are going to have our asses handed to us by the opposing team (even when that team is just our fellow roller girls).  GymGirls see women working together.  I feel like my best self at derby, even when I am on the rink floor wanting to vomit.

I want my daughter to see me at my best self, feeling like my best self.  I want to be someone she looks up to.  I want to be a hero in my daughter's eyes.  I might be a hero to her without derby but at derby I feel like a hero.  If I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she can be her own hero then I have to model that to her.  I derby for me.  Derby is for me.  Derby carries to just all other areas of my life.  After derby I keep that best self around.  Other people get to see me too.

I want my daughter to know she has the right to do something just for her.  I love having her at derby.  She loves going to derby.  Maybe one day she'll be a roller girl herself but even if she doesn't choose that path, I know seeing her mom being strong, being beautiful, being weak, being her best self, will help GymGirl feel being her best self is normal.

Belated Wordless Wednesday: HappyBirthday GymGirl

GymGirl loses a tooth

So yesterday we had a major milestone for GymGirl; she lost her first tooth.  This should have been a happy occasion but instead it ended in tears.  You see GymGirl swallowed her tooth!  She was eating her frozen gluten-free donut (she prefers them that way) and did not notice the tooth had come loose.
I'm not sure how to feel about the whole thing.  One it is funny.  She swallowed the tooth!  However, this marks the start of kid-hood.  She's four and a half!  The time has flown.  I thought I had more time!  She even has a second one that is loose!

 

Gym Mom: What the flip just happened?

Ravebaby (okay let's change it to GymGirl from here on out) just made the gymnastics team. She's four and they have a new pre-competition squad; basically they are being groomed for the tougher "real" team. We started at Tall Timbers when the gym first opened almost 2 and half years ago. GymGirl is one of the original students. I remember when she would be told to jump and she just lifted her heels. The office lady said it the other day, "from diaper bug to team, she's come a long way." GymGirl is super excited about team. I'm not so excited about the cost but for GymGirl I would do just about anything. I never saw myself as a Gym Mom. I excepted a daughter who wanted to do karate or be a drummer and I know there is still plenty of time ahead for those things. I'm nervous about the commitment we've all made. Not just money but time. Meets are on Saturdays (GymGirl will have 5 next Spring so much for pre-competition) and I'm still working on this doctorate. I'm also looking at returning to work full-time which complicates homeschooling a bit. I know everything will work itself out. I must trust in God's plan but I'm still wondering What the Flip just Happened!

Diaper Bug 2012

First Day of Team Try-outs 2014

Team Try-outs

Last Day of Team Try-outs

Team T-shirt