Big news and allergy testing

So I have big news!  After several years of trying to get okay with the idea of having only one child, I'm pregnant!  Yep a totally unexpected unplanned pregnancy that mirrors the first one in a eerie fashion.  We took a pregnancy test on the exact same date as 7 years previous.  I first vomited on the same day 7 years ago.  We did announce it about a week earlier this time around.  Gymgirl has been happily telling everyone she sees.  She wants a sister.  I want a healthy baby.  DH wants a girl.  We'll see.

Yesterday for the first time in a long time I was wandering the aisle of the grocery store lost.  Gymgirl's allergy test results came back.  She has about 20 food sensitivities.  Her sensitivities seem to run opposite of DH's allergies.  Gymgirl is sensitive to chicken but DH is allergic to beef and pork.  Both have issues with wheat and gluten.  Gymgirl has one true food allergy and it was one that I never suspected: eggs.

So yesterday we dropped Gymgirl off at her piano lesson and we headed to the store to find things for dinner.  I wanted chicken nuggets, well considering the new information that went out the window.  DH and I were both staring at the meat case just lost.  DH has not cook pork chops in close to 15 years.  We always grab chicken since it was safe for him and now we have to wrap our minds around Gymgirl's food limitations too.  While Gymgirl is a good eater and usually game for trying new things, like most 6 years olds, she eats a limited number of things, ie chicken nuggets, hamburgers, mac and cheese.

While eggs are the number one concern, as the doctor said that is a true allergy cut it out completely, Gymgirl had so many sensitivities.  It seems all the things she loves to eat are the things making her breakout and stay sick.  She's sensitive to cheddar cheese, broccoli, cantaloupe, peanuts, and soy.  The list is longer but those were the ones that stuck out to me.  I know we can do it.  We can clean her diet and hopefully be able to reintroduce those foods back but right now it feels like being slapped in the face. 

Mourning Normalcy for Ravebaby

Okay, so I don't always talk about my wheatfree life as much as I should but today someone on my facebook posted about the frustrations on living dairy-free and feeling alone in the frustration especially when it comes to telling their child no when they want something.  So here goes . . .

Dear Parents of a child with allergies:
I know you are wondering what you did wrong?  Did you eat the wrong thing during pregnancy?  Why would your child be punished like this?  They can't eat X and everyone else around them can.  It is so unfair.

You are right.  It is totally unfair and in most cases there is nothing you could have done differently and outside of this one huge inconvenience (reading every damn label in the world before buying/eating/using) your child is great and really you won't trade them for anything. 

So you have every parent (of a child with an allergy) in the world's permission to mourn your loss of normalcy.  Cry it out.  Scream it out.  Do it now.  Then understand you will want to do it again and again for the rest of your life.  You might want to cry when you realize your child will never have the First Communion you had always envisioned, just the blood no host 'cause of the wheat.  You will have to say no when every around is buying from the ice cream man since he doesn't have anything diary-free.  You will feel low and judged when you say no to a cookie.  People will look at you like you have killed Mickey Mouse but they don't know that that cookie will cause your child hours of agony later. 

You may mourn.  You may cry.  You will survive and after all of your work and your careful choices you will have a teenage who eats everything they are allergic to because it won't kill them just make them hurt.  Hey, they are they ones who have to make friends.  You will feel like your efforts have been useless but YOU KEPT THEM ALIVE. You kept a simple rashy allergy from turning into a deadly one so you go with your bad self!

I cry.  Sometimes I see my archnemisis give his child, Ravebaby's best friend, a cookie, right in front of Ravebaby and I want to cry and scream about how unfair it is.  It is not anyone fault.  It is not a bad thing.  I live a wheatless life and I'm good with it most days.  I hate telling Ravebaby no.  I hate seeing that look of "I want that" and her feeling defeated.  I want my child to be normal. I want to give her that damn cheap ass nasty cookie so that she won't feel different.  I want to give it to her so I won't feel different.  We're different.  That is life.  It is not fair.  I allow myself a moment to cry and mourn and then I move on. 

So please don't feel alone.  Please know we all do it.  No matter how cool we are with the X-free life we lead, we all have times we mourn the loss of that X.  Go ahead cry.  Go ahead morn.  Believe it or not, you are just being normal :)

Signed,
Wheatless Mama, mom of one, wheatless for 3 years +

Yeast

So if you can't tell the name of my blog, my life is wheat-less.  We don't eat wheat because DH and Audrey are both allergic.  Along with wheat, DH has many other food allergies.  They are all manageable and I never remember the whole list.  Outside of wheat and oranges, we don't worry too much about the rest of the allergy herd.  So that brings me to yeast.  DH is allergic.  I never think about it.  It is actually his biggest allergen. 

This weekend I made focaccia bread from Chebe brand mix.  It was good!  DH was actually excited about eating a sandwich.  I guess we've been missing fancy breads.  Anyways, I mentioned that I could make my own from a recipe I have but I'm afraid to work with yeast.  I always kill it.  DH stopped me and said you remember I'm allergic to yeast right so just buy the mix.  Actually I had forgotten.  I felt like a horrible wife!  Avoiding wheat is so present in my mind but the rest of the allergen gang is all but forgotten.  I bought the mix.

Wheat challenge - Round 2

So Audrey's birthday is in 6 days! So hard to believe I'll have a 2 year old in less than a week. But this leads us to wheat challenge - round 2. Audrey's allergist suggested we challenge the wheat-free diet around Audrey's 2nd birthday. I guess 2 is the magic allergy number. So we decided to head to Olive Garden and order whatever we wanted!

I was excited. Order anything! Eat a breadstick! Not worry about what I"m eating, sign me back up for that life. I wish it was that easy. Having been strictly wheat-free for almost 2 years, plus off an on for 6 years prior, it's hard to go back to eating without worry. I don't know why I thought I would go back to old me in one trip to the Olive Garden. I still asked for the gluten-free menu. I wish they had an ingredients list. We do eat gluten-free since it makes life easier but strictly speaking we're wheat-free. Having something with a little MSG don't kill us so if the ingredients are clear of wheat we eat it. The Olive Garden's gluten-free menu is small and they have one penne pasta that is gluten-free. But I'm sure they have other things that are wheat-free that we can probably eat.

Anyways, we were going with a challenge so I start looking at the regular menu. What to have, what to have? Alfredo? Eggplant parm? Nope I start looking at Herb Salmon. Yep, even in my eat anything I'm still going toward the gluten-free stuff. I finally decided on the Chianti braised short-ribs. Not gluten-free but not pasta either. It comes with risotto. Where the gluten is in the dish I know not. We also ordered calamari. Audrey got a children's gluten-free penne with marinara. We didn't want to push her too much.

I got a bite of calamari. Strangely it wasn't as good as I remembered. I got a bite of breadstick. So disappointed. Why had I been pining for this stuff? Did we hit the Olive Garden on a bad day? I think DH said it best. "You're just a wheat-free girl now!" Laughing with glee. Evil wheat-allergic man! I did get mad. I don't like the food anymore. I didn't want the breadstick; I wanted a piece of Udi's with garlic butter. The calamari was just sad. My ribs were good. I guess the wheat is in the "gravy." Audrey ate some calamari, a bite of DH's spaghetti and lots of penne. Later that night we let her have a bite of "real" brownie. We had a wheat-filled day! or what we think of as a wheat-filled day.

So last night, 3 am, Audrey is crying. She's passing gas like crazy. She's rolling around unable to get comfy. Guess what, the kid is still allergic to wheat! She kept nursing but since I had had wheat she was just pouring more allergens into her system. Today she is all broken out. I think we can call this done. Audrey has a wheat allergy. Is it deadly? Thankfully no. If she decides to eat a piece of regular pizza, I won't panic. I don't be taking her to Mikey Dee's anytime soon but I think I can let go of some of the panic I've had in the past.

As for me, I am realizing that wheat-free isn't a diet or a change for now but a change for life. I'm learning to bake wheat-free. I"m longing for my food past less and less. I'm finding that "bread" doesn't appeal to me like it use to.