Sunday, August 30, 2009

Birth is only ~19 weeks away

Well the major topic of discussion at our house is birthing. Our current plan is to labor at home as much as possible and then head to the hospital in Eden. I know some people think it is weird to travel 30 mins to a hospital when I have one around the corner but DRMC just ain't a real option. I've heard too many horror stories from ex-staff to trust my newborn to them. Besides the whole giving birth in one room then moving to the next to recover and then moving to your final room is bs. After having a baby I don't think moving from room to room (around sicky to the next sicky) is best thing.
So far I've been very happy with what I've seen at the Eden hospital and many people sing the praises of the staff there. But I can't help but wonder about the idea of giving birth at home. Ray and I both had traumatic births. No staying in the room with mom and being held and cuddled. Both of our moms nearly died after having each of us. Neither one of our moms had envisioned nearly dying rather than holding us but life happens. I know that even with the best made plans, things can go wrong. I do trust that my body will be able to handle getting Bud into the world but at the same time, what if?
Strangely since finding out I am pregnant, I've backed off home birthing and moved more toward the hopsital. Ray has actually moved the other way. He wants to catch Baby Bud. He wants to be the first hands to hold Bud. He wants Bud to be at home. Since we are 19 or so weeks away, it feels like we need to make some decisions. I'm happy with my current plan but what about giving birth at home? Just setting up the birthing tub in the livingroom with a fire going in the fireplace. Ray helping me breath as we have a midwife encourging me all the way. I love that idea. I love the idea of taking Bud to my bed afterward and knowing that I don't have to recover and get out in a day. It will be late December or early January and the height of flu season, doesn't my baby deserve the best birth possible and the warmth of his/her own home?
So much to think about!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tired is only the start

Well I think I would have an energy surge if I didn't have to work like a dog. I blame Bud for the tiredness but I think Ray is right, I'm just so busy at work that all of my energy is just gone at the end of the day.
It's fun to feel Bud move around. Bud mostly kicks my butt (literally). I'm looking forward to sharing the feeling with Ray. I want him to be able to put his hand on my belly and feel Bud move. I feel like it is difficult to involve him in the pregnancy. I know the ultrasound helps him see the baby but I still want to involve him more. Any ideas?

Friday, August 21, 2009

Baby Bud picture assassin

In our house no one or dog likes to have their picture taken. Apparently, Baby Bud agrees that pictures suck. We had our second and possiblely last ultrasound today. According to Ray just as I turned my head to rest my neck, Baby Bud looked directly at him and as soon as the tech was about to take a 3D pic, Baby Bud turned his/her head! I totally missed the whole thing. After that Bud hid behind the placenta! We could see the little face in 2D but 3D was a no go.
We did have good news today. My weight and blood pressure are right on target. Baby Bud is also right on target. Bud is also breech! The head was in my belly button! It was fun to watch the baby. Because everything is going well we probably won't have another ultrasound, unless Bud doesn't turn.
Hopefully the hard part of work is over. It's been a crazy two weeks. I've been running up and down the stairs and building hooking up computers and fixing other technology issues. I'll be running the whole media center by myself for the next two weeks so I'm nervous but still the teachers know to be nice so I think we'll be okay. I'm also getting better about putting my feet up. I've been having huge sausage toes at the end of the day! We'll see how things go. My next project is to clean the room for Bud!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Baby Bud is moving!

Well I've been feeling Baby Bud move! It was a little confusing at first. I first felt the movement about a week ago. It felt like three quick knocks. Since then I was thought Bud was just resting but I had noticed a lot of gas bubbles, well basically I'm stupid. I had read in my baby books that the baby's movements can feel like butterflies or gas bubbles. Well my dumb self just realized Friday that maybe it wasn't gas but in fact Baby Bud. Since then I've been paying attention and realized that it is baby movement!
It feels so strange! Ray asked me what it feels like and the best way to describe it is like something scratching me on the inside. It doesn't hurt, yet. Just feels like butterflies. We go to the doctor on Friday and have another ultrasound! I can't wait but I do hope that the technician won't spill the beans on Bud's gender.
I also had my first baby shower today! I really had fun! I had been missing my friends and today we got to hang out and talk with Robyn, who is going to get married on Saturday. Talking with Robyn reminded me of when I was getting married. It doesn't seem like that long ago but come December it will be 8 years! It was nice to reflect on the beginning of my marriage now that Ray and I are on the verge of parenthood. I have to admit I never thought it would take 8 years for us to have a baby of our own but as usually, if you trust in God you will always be given what you need if not always what you want.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Second hand stuff

Well i asked my mom for advice yesterday on what should be on my gift registry and I got a long lecture on not getting things second-hand. I'm not the sort of person that asks people for things. I hate the idea of the gift registry. It feels like begging! But I know that when you have a baby you need all the help you can get and besides people want to help. I know that I always want to buy at least something small for people when they are having their first baby, anything after that is begging!
My mom offered to buy us the crib since that is what she has bought for all of the other of her grandchildren. I said thank you and buy whatever you want. I don't like to tell people what to get me. It is rude to demand and cribs aren't cheap. But my mom has good taste, better than me, so I want her to have the liberty to buy for her grandchild whatever she wants. I casually said that she could buy me something second-hand if she found something she liked. Then she went into the tirade about buying things at Goodwill and swamp-meets. Okay, I do understand her point, which was that you can't always clean things well and you do not know what kind of house the stuff has come from. This is a good point. I don't want something from a smoking house and if the baby was sickly I probably shouldn't use that with my own child. She did say that I need to know where stuff is coming from if I getting second-hand. Don't risk you baby just to save money. I guess my mommy does have a point but I will be taking second-hand stuff from friends so anyone trying to get rid of stuff just hand it over here!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Feeling out of sorts

I think that is the best way to put it. I just feel out of sorts. I feel like I don't know myself anymore not that I have a baby growing inside of me.
I can't eat what I want or drink what I want. I have to think about Bud. I can't sit for too long, stand for too long or lay down on my back or stomach. I have to think about Bud. I have pain in my back and pelvis but I'm afraid to take anything. I have to think about Bud.
Bud is just about the only thing on my mind. I wonder if all first-time moms feel that way. It's hard enough to take care of me but it's not just me anymore. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I don't have anything to wear but I can't seem to find anything to buy. I want to feel sexy and confident like I did before Bud.
I think the strangest part is for all of the anxiety that I feel about being pregnant, I'm most afraid I'll wake up tomorrow to find out it was all a dream. That Bud was all in my head and I'm still in the middle of a struggling to get pregnant.
I'm a ball of hormones. I don't think I ever expected that pregnancy would be this hard. I guess I just didn't know what to expect.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The pain of it all

So I've been in pain for the last few days. My back hurts. My abs hurt. I'm so tired. I think it's mostly from the stress of comps. I spent 2 days working on the stupid exam and won't find out the score for at least 2 weeks.
I'm not sure when I'll have a day off. Ray is having his wisdom teeth cut out on Friday so that means a weekend of feeding the husband milkshakes and changing his ice packs! Then next weekend I have class, the weekend after that I have wedding to go to then I'll have class again! So resting in August is a no go. I guess I could take a day and chill but I'm trying to save my days. We'll see what I do.