Open Letter to Brandon Flowers of The Killers

 So I don’t know Brandon and have zero expectation that he’ll read this but it is on my heart so here goes:

Dear Brandon, hope it’s cool I address you so informally.  

So it hurts my heart to hear you have scrapped the new album.  "boy" and "Your Side of Town" are the start of a fun record but I get not feeling it.  As one of your fans who despised Pressure Machine, it really hurts my heart you want to do more music like that.  See it was done well but you did it at the height of lockdown and well it is depressing as fuck.  I can almost love some of the tracks from the abridged version.  "Runaway Horses" live just spoke to me in a way that it didn’t just listening to it on the album but actually that isn’t the point of this letter.

To the point: sir, you mention not wanting to be the “Somebody Told Me” guy.  I totally get that.  The song hit 20 years ago.  You aren’t that guy anymore but see here is the thing, we aren’t the same kids who fell in love with that song as it hit either.  Believe it or not, we have grown and aged with you.  We are in our 40s too!  We are parents.  We are married.  We have lived through some shit same as you.  

You are smart.  This is something you already know so back to finding the point here.  We have matured and we understand you and your music has to too.  While I am probably never going to listen to all of Pressure Machine again, I understand where it came from.  But you aren’t just the Hot Fuss guy.  The Killers are more than a few hits, for your fans The Killers are old memories and new memories.

Sometimes I do escape into Hot Fuss.  I remember listening to it when it first hit and then everything since.  To this day, Sam’s Town is my go to for study time because it was all I listened to as I worked on my Masters of Ed.  My doctorate application is Battle Born.  I still remember having a complete crying fit in the local coffeeshop listening to "Runaways."  My actual studies are your solo album, Flamingo.  I will never be able to think of the 2020 election week without hearing "Imploding the Mirage" in my mind.  Every time the news mentioned the implosion of the red wave, I could hear your voice holding Mirage.  Your voice has colored my life for the last 20 years.

So what is my ask?  Release new songs that show us you as the man you are today.  Even if that place is dark and uncomfortable because at times we are dark and uncomfortable too.  Show us how to survive the rough parts of our marriages.  Talk to us about raising boys.  Sing to us about your crumbling illusions of life and the joys of creating yourself into something new.

Why?  Because we are living those phases too.  Way back on Battle Born, you had a song “The Way it Was” and you talk about wanting to go back.  The new life you have isn’t what you wanted and you want to go back to the way it was.  I have always had a love/hate relationship with that song.  Yes, the beginning of a romance is beautiful but so is the middle and growing with someone.  That is what you are asking from us, to let go of the way it was and meet you here and now.  So let us meet you here and now.

Please tour smaller venues where we can see the whites of your eyes. Play in places where Ronny’s sweat will get all over us.  Be close to us and see that yes, we have all changed and honestly it is for the better.

Brandon, darling, you are in middle life.  It’s cool.  I am having hot flashes as I write.  We have both aged.  Now is the time to work on ourselves, to work at being parents and good life partners.  Now is the time to leave the literal arena for the metaphorical arena of middle age.  Listen to Brene Brown.  She has some fabulous thoughts on middle age.  Please don’t kill The Killers.  Let The Killers evolve and age.  Your true victims will be there to listen.

Signed a middle age fan girl from Texas

A dream come true: The Killers

Way back when the world was simple say Februrary 2020, The Killers accounced a world tour for their Imploding the Mirage albun included on this tour was a stop in Houston.  I immediately jumped to make plans to attend.  Then as you know in March 2020 the world shut down.  I know we all had hopes that this was a couple of weeks things that lasted so much longer.  The tour was postponed to September 2022.  Again I started making my plans.  Budgeting and planning to take time off and then they postponed the show again.  

Okay shit happens.  Budgeting is still on point and the days off still work.  I buy the tickets.  My husband is going and one of my peeps is going.  We are all set for the March 25 2023.  I'm vibrating with excitment.  This concert is 3 years delayed.  They have released 2 more albums since Imploding the Mirage.  This is the going to be the best day ever and that morning I notice an email from the Toyota Center annoucing a postponement!  What the actual fuck!?  They had just played an amazing showing in Oklahoma on the 24th.  How are they postponing with less than 24 hrs notice?!

I was pissed but really I was disappointed.  I know life happens.  Brandon Flowers was sick and it sounded like he gave his all at the Oklahoma show.  Who wants to listen to a barely there Brandon?  So I get it.  I quickly changed the hotel reservation and that was that.  Only thing left to do was wait for May 14th.

When The Killers resumed the tour a couple days and posted pictures, I acutally cried.  The hurt was more profound than I had thought.  I really wanted to go and relax and be a fan instead of a mom for one day.  But I had hope my day would come and I would in fact be a fan instead of a mom for just a few hours.  About a week before the concert I did have a nightmare tha the concert had been postponed again and I immedately opened my app to see if the concert had been moved.

Sunday, I checked all of the socials, my email, the AXS app, and the Toyota Center app to just make sure the concert was still on.  At 1pm as we were getting ready to go to Houston, the bottom fell out of the sky.  Pouring rain, just pouring.  We got on the road at 1:30 but it was still coming down in sheets.  At one point my husband almost gave up and wanted to turn around but we kept moving forward.

Once we stopped to fill up in Livingston, the rain let up and the rest of the drive was relaxing.  My excitement building with each hour that ticked by.  We have a nice dinner and then checked into the hotel to relax.  Our hotel was across the way from the Toyota Center so we would not have to search for parking just walk over.  This became a hipcup since my husband's ankle decided to attack him and left him hobbled.  Still, he powered through and let me just run around as I pleased with him following many steps behind.

So we get to the Toyota Center and it is huge!  I had never been.  We walk past the merch table and the line was hella long.  We find our way to the escaltor so hubby would not have to take stairs.  We find our nose-bleed seats and we wait.  

The Lemon Twigs kicked off the night with an okay set.  They are young and the sound wasn't quite right so the set wasn't great.  I think as they get more clout their set will be better simply because the sound techs will actually care.  Cool that was at like 8 for a 7:30 show.  They finish about 8:30 and we wait.  I'm almost jumping out of my skin.  Is this really happening?  Will The Killers go on?

Just about at 9pm, the band doctor comes out.  I have an announcement.  "Unfortunately . . . "  Like the crowd went silent and was ready to pounce if this was anything other than a joke.  Finally, yes, the band can go on.  After a loud cheer, the crowd again goes silent in anticipation.

The band comes out and we heard the first fews notes of My Soul's Own Warning.  I let out a massive scream of joy and then proceed to sing every single song for the rest of the night.  Amazing show!  Like epic!  Easily the best concert I have ever very been too.  They were worth the wait and I can't wait to go seem them again.

I told my husband that it must have been like what an Elvis vegas show was like.  Brandon had complete control of the crowd.  We sang.  We danced in our seats.  We stood and danced.  It was amazing.  Like the whole night was one of the best nights of my life.  

If you get a chance to see them in concert go.  My husband was not really a fan.  My peep was also not a massive fan and even they had a blast.  I was on cloud night.  I'm still listening to the set list.  I created a Spotify playlist and I just have it on repeat.  I will never forget the joy of that night.  A dream being better than expected.  A payoff that makes you believe that good things come to those who wait.

Song Response: The Way It Was by The Killers

I'm starting a new blogging thing were I write up my response to a song that made me stop and think.

If you didn't know I love The Killers and my Spotify is chalk full of them.  When I first heard The Way It Was, I thought it was a sweet ode to a love lost due to growing up and growing apart.  How many times have I wished that DH and I could just go back to the way things were when life and love was easy, i. e. before marriage and growing up got in the way.  In the time since I first heard the song several of my friends marriages have split or hit on a rough patch.  Marriage is hard and we all struggle at some point or another but anyways I stopped and really thought about what was being said and I got angry and here is why.

1. This is someone being a totally immature asshole!  Just go back to the way it was.  You only want to stay with me if I promise to go back to the way it was.  Dude you go back and then you end up right here again!  You are not trying to solve the problem just hide it.  In the words of Thomas Wolfe, "You can't go home again!"

2. The love you remember wasn't real.  We all look back and see just the good sides of thing especially when we are hurting.  If only this had not happened or if only we could just forget and go back to the beginning.  The song speaks about "did you forget all about those golden nights?" and really don't we all remember the golden nights of courting and falling in love but if you want to survive and have a lasting relationship you have to move past just falling in love.  Staying in love is work.  It is not easy!  Stop whining and start working!

3. Is it really over or are you just tried of working at it?  I think this is the one aspect that bothers me most of all.  Brandon Flowers sings, "Back then this thing was running on momentum, love and trust, That paradise is buried in the dust."  So you don't love me anymore?  You don't trust me anymore?  You think we are standing still?  I love that it is all my fault!  I'm growing up and moving forward and you want to reverse all of that work so you can feel good about the fact you refuse to grow up!  Maybe we have an issue with trust but if you don't want to work on it then there is nothing to go back to 'cause it all leads back here.

Don't get me wrong people.  I love this song but it is because Brandon Flowers' voice is amazing.  I was listening to the song on the way in to work today and I started crying because it makes it all seem so easy.  Just go back.  Just rewind and we'll be okay.  That is simply just not the way it works.  If you go back without working on it then you end up right were you are again. 

Not too long ago I told DH, after listening to this song, I love him and when I see him I see the 16-year-old boy I fell in love with but I don't want to be married to that kid.  I love the man I'm married too.  The one that has allowed me to grow and turn into this better person. It is easy to think that if we could just go back then the work would go away but why travel the same road twice?  Don't wish away the person you have now for the one in your memory.  I assure you that person never existed in that way.  Work or don't work but don't think going back is the easy solution. 

 

 

The Way It Way - cira 1998

Music Monday: The Killers - Runaways

New feature for this little old blog, Music Mondays! In others words, my chance to share music I like with you. I know you'll find it shocking that I am posting something from The Killers. The first video is the official video and it may or may not play. The second is someone's video featuring Runaways. Love the song! Enjoy!

Fantasy vs Reality: Brandon Flowers

So Saturday at the Standpipe was an odd day. They had no electricity. That meant no coffee :(. But they still had their musical act; they are awesome!

However that is not the point of this blog so hopping on to the point. Since there was down time I had the chance to sit and have a real conversation with Jailbait. How real? Debatable, I think I was more or less just clearing my mind and he was in the vicinity but like a good barista he listen enough to respond at the right time and I just kept talking. So on to the point, as part of this talk, I mentioned that I would leave DH for Brandon Flowers, lead singer of The Killers. It isn't a secret that for the last 4 years or so I've been singing The Killers' Sam's Town Album. So it only makes sense that the lead singer would earn a special spot in my heart.

Later on I was sitting with DH recounting my semi-conversation. As part of this conversation I starting thinking about the actuality of leaving DH for Brandon Flowers. It wouldn't be easy. In my mind's fantasy, it would be like a movie. I would be at a concert and we would lock eyes and then fade out with 'Bones' playing in the background. You never see the end. The messy reality is always hidden in the credits. So again more or less just thinking out loud, I started talking out the messiness of such a move. Here is my list of issues:

1. Brandon is married and so am I. Number 1 saying in my book: If you can steal him then he can be stolen. There would never be trust.

2. Brandon is Mormon and I am Catholic. Talk about a never ending fight.

3. The kids. I forget how many he has and of course I have Ravebaby. Trying blending that together. I can also image how nasty the custody fight with DH would get.

4. Again Brandon is Mormon and I'm Mexican. As far as I know race mixing is very taboo in the Mormon church. This would cause him to have internal strife ensuring he would treat me like shit but also providing much inspiration for fantastic music. I lose but you would win :)

5. I would have left my DH and that would cause me internal strife. I'm not artist but you would get lots of blog posts! That might up my traffic. People love a good car crash and to hear about the real lives of stars. This could be a win for everyone!

I'm sure the list could go on. I might turn this into a regular blogging feature. Fantasy vs Reality - X star. Could be fun. Anyway, if you made it to the end of this post sorry for bringing a dose of reality to the end of the romantic movie. The grass maybe greener but you never see the water bill; as good friend of mine says. File this under random thoughts. So who would you leave your partner for?

Random Favorite things

Just writing a list of things I like/love.  Not in any particular order or rhyme or reason.

Favorite Band: The Killers
Just love them.  Everything about them rocks.


Favorite song: Triangulo by Los Babys
Reminds of drives to Mexico to see my grandparents.


Favorite sports team: The Pittsburgh Steelers
The why is complicated but they are my team.  In good times and in bad.

Favorite Athlete: Troy Polumalu
He's a Steeler.  He's one of the best at his position.  He's a good guy and a real role model.


Okay that's the list for now.  I'll be back with more stuff later!