More Boob! (Warning: Picture included)

I feel like I need to change my name to More Boob.  That seems to be Ravebaby's number one thing to say.  She has a pretty big vocabulary but when it comes to me, she says More Boob.  Sometimes she sings it to the tune of Shave and a haircut.  Most time its just a demand, More Boob!

There are times that I think I want to wean her.  I do tell her no.  I don't really want to wean her.  I want her to finish nursing when she is done with nursing but there are days when I'm touched out.  I want her to leave me alone.  I want to keep my bra in its place for longer than an hour.  I don't want to nurse her at 6 am and 9 am and on and on. 

Most days are not that bad.  She's busy and barely remembers to nurse.  Most evenings are okay too.  It's just when I have a supply dip that she seems to be on me all day.  This last week has been hard.  My period started unexpected on Saturday.  I guess I should have see it coming since Ravebaby had been in my lap all week.  Seriously, this kid just knows. 

I just tend to get touched out.  I love DD and nursing her is a great way to stay connected.  But when she's on me like white on rice, I just want to explode.  There really are days that she seem to forget to nurse at all.  She might nurse at lunch and then at bedtime.  That is part of the problem, I get use to not nursing.  When she gets into nurse all the time mode, it's a hard transition for me. 

We won't wean yet.  Even if she just nurses a couple of times a day, they are sessions that keep us connected and ultimately when she does wean I'll wish I had those times back.  God willing my daughter will live to be 100 and in the grand scheme of things, 2+ years of nursing will be a tiny speck of time.

 I've even started to let her nurse in public again.  I keep going back to nursing in public because so many people seem to be against it.  If you read Twitter, so many people get brave and diss us nursing mommas.  Really most people are too chicken-shit to say anything to you in public.  Really, I don't use a cover, I'm nursing a 2 year old and never ever have I had anyone say anything.  I guess I feel like I have to put my money where my mouth is.  If I want to be an advocate then I have to walk to the walk or in my case nurse the baby.  I mean people are really scared to nurse in public.  They are afraid someone will say something to them but if they see someone else doing it then they tend to feel more comfortable.  Really, the public in general would rather you nurse your baby than hear your baby scream and cry.  It's just a little boob.  We all have nipples.  There are men with huge man-boobs that walk around shirtless all the time so why should I care if you get a view of some boob.  My boobs are pretty fab.  At least DD thinks so :)

Do I have to?

So yesterday, DH and I took Audrey to the Cadwell Zoo in Tyler.  We had a blast.  Got to see an elephant pretty close.  I think Audrey was actually disappointed to not see a hippo; Cadwell doesn't have one. 

While there Audrey asked to nurse twice.  The first time she got distracted by pine straw and a friend so she forgot she wanted to nurse.  The second time, we found a rocking chair at the entrance/exit and sat right down and got to nursing.  I was a bit worried that someone would say something but no one even noticed.  It was busy so no one had time to notice.

We decided to take Audrey to a hibachi place since we had been missing good hibachi since we moved from Virginia.  I must say this was at about 5pm, which is prime Audrey nap time.  We knew as soon as we got her in the car for 90 min trip home she would fall asleep so we decided to try dinner with a sleepy baby.  Almost as soon as we sat down she started fussing for "BOOB!"

I so did not want to nurse her at the table.  At almost 22 months and super active, she is not one to allow me to be discreet.  If I lift the shirt a bit then she will lift it up above my head, or at least try to.  What to do?  What is a lactivist, LLL leader, committed breastfeeding mom to do?

I had put on a nursing tank so at least no one would see my rolls and I nursed my toddler at the table.  I'm mean what else was I going to do?  It was either nurse or suffer the wrath of Audrey.  I know the people at my table didn't want me to nurse but once food started coming out Audrey turned her attention to the food and we had a pleasant dinner.  I know if I had fought her off the boob, dinner would have been horrible.  At our table, there were two pregnant women.  DH said that yes they noticed but that they just blew it off.  Considering the turn around in Audrey's behavior, I would say that they had a positive impression.  So maybe women who would have never thought about breastfeeding might give it a second thought and try. 

So why didn't I want to breastfeed?  Well at a hibachi table you are sitting very close to other people.  When we are in a non-hibachi eatery, I have no issues whipping out a boob.  But with strangers at your table it's a bit different.  Maybe it shouldn't be but it was.  So why did I breastfeed?  Well I'm a walk the walk type of person.  How can I tell mom's to NIP if I won't?  So out came the boob and Audrey's world was safe and calm again.  If I can NIP a toddler at a table with strangers without a cover then anyone can NIP.  Just take a deep breath and remember that baby comes first.