Sunday, May 31, 2009

Finding out the sex

Everyone asks me if I am going to find out the sex of the baby. I've always wanted to wait. I understand that it makes it easier for people to buy gifts. Easier to buy blue or pink than to find things in white, yellow or green. But for me, it's important to wait and find out when we have the baby in our arms.
Would it make life easier to know if I should by blue or pink stuff but there is so much excitement for me in waiting. I mean there are so few true surprises and even fewer good surprises! This is the ultimate surprise. Is baby bud a boy or a girl? I guess we'll be waiting close to 7 months to find out. I just hope the doctor can keep his/her mouth shut!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Early Pregnancy is a bitch

The nausea is horrible! My mom and my aunt never had nausea so I excepted that I too would enjoy the first trimester of my first pregnancy vomit and nausea free. I forgot that I'm not carrying a Mexican baby, I'm carrying a half-Mexican baby who apparently hates limes. For the most part I've only had nausea but when I enjoy a lime-based drink vomit follows! How am I suppose to not have limes? Again, I'm Mexican. I love limes. I put lime on everything. Next I'll find out that Bud hates watermelon and then I'll be perfectly screwed over by my biracial spawn.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

New Supreme Court Justice

I won't normally talk politics on my baby-blog but this one topic really seems to fit. Yesterday for the first time a Latina was nomiated for the Supreme Court. Considering that I am a Latina with post-graduate education, I have to say I feel some pride in knowing that a glass ceiling has been broken or at least is a little closer to breaking. Will I ever be asked to be a Supreme Court justice? God help us all if I ever am. I have no training and no desire but I would love to be the Librarian of Congress. That's a political position I really could see myself doing and doing well.

But anyways, how does this relate to Bud? Ray and I talked about it yesterday and it seems that Bud might grow up in a world where he/she really could be anything he/she wants to be. Bud is going to a half-Black/half-Mexican child with two educated parents. Being biracial in American isn't easy and I can't image being biracial in the deep south is going to help but Bud is going to see a world with an African-American president (well really a biracial president) and a hopefully a Latina Supreme Court Justice. How lucky is that?

I remember the night Obama was elected, Ray cried and said that now little black children really could grow up to be president. I hope he is right. I hope Bud will grow-up and no see limitations in front of him/her. I never dared to dream too big. How could a little Mexican girl in Texas ever grow up to go to college? My parents didn't speak much English when I was born and they worked so hard they often couldn't help me with my homework. Yet, I manged to get into a wonderful woman's college and go on to earn two graduate degrees. Maybe I did limit myself but I don't see limits for Bud.

I don't want to push and live out my dreams through Bud either. But when Bud wants music lessons or to play sports, I hope that my hard work will mean that I have time. Time for Bud. Time to help him/her achieve his/her dreams. Maybe Bud will be president, maybe a college professor, maybe Bud will just be a damn-good hairdresser but Bud will never have limits placed on him/her. Bud will go as far as Bud wants to go and not limit his/her dreams to what the past has said is possible. This is a whole new world and Bud will be ready for it.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


I think I've been having a good pregnancy. I know alot of woman have horrible nausea and puke multiple times a day; I've been lucky outside of some mild nausea, tiredness, and feeling like my stomach is always empty, I've been good.
Today however has been different. I didn't sleep very well last night. I had nightmare after nightmare. When I woke up today, I was extremely anxious. I got up to go to the bathroom, came back to bed and just started crying! I really have no clue why. I think I was so overwhelmed by the anxiousness that crying was the only relief I could find. I'm feeling a little better as the day goes on but the anxiousness is still there. I'm hoping it's just hormones. By the way today is my 30th birthday! Happy birthday to me!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Eden's the place to be

Well after my disappointment with my doc in Danville, Ray and I decided to visit Morehead Memorial in Eden NC. It was the first time that I felt that someone was really there to answer my questions! We had a wonderful tour and visit. Rather than just dismissing my questions and concerns, the nurse took 45 mins to talk with us about what we could expect and why it would be that way. Rather than tell me something was trendy and no one really does that, the nurse explained why the hospital had certain policies. Someone answered my questions!
I know that doctors and nurses are two different jobs but still the doctor could have take a minute just to say, I'm running late and I hate to leave but please write your questions down and we'll get them all answered next time you come in. Rather than tell me I was making late for his next patient.
Anyways, I like the policies that Morehead has in place. They are things I can live with. I won't be able to deliver in water but I can labor in water. I won't be tried to the fetal monitor or an IV unless it is absolutely necessary. They also offer a birthing ball, I can deliver in any position that I find comfortable, and they assign one nurse to you during each shift so no random people touching me while I labor. All things that make a 1st time mom feel better.
In order to deliver at Morehead, I'll have to change doctors but I'm okay with that. The new practice is set-up much like the one I went to in Danville, four doctors and you see all four but at least this practice delivers at Morehead rather than Danville Regional.
I do hope this is the best thing for Bud. Yesterday after our tour was the first day I felt good about the prospect of delivering a baby since my 1st doc. appointment. I guess the decision to deliver in Danville didn't sit well with me after all. Thank God for Ray. He knew what I needed and made sure I got it.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dry as a desert

I woke up as dry as a desert today. I felt awful! Today was honestly the first day I wished I could stay home. I've never felt that bad before. My skin was dry. My mouth was dry. It felt like someone had squeezed all the water out of me.
I sucked down water all day. I had a powerade at 2pm and that seems to help alot. I'm not sure why I felt so bad. I slept great! I guess at least I didn't feel nauseous today.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Oh yeah, Bud's new due date!

I forgot in all the rage to share that Bud has a new due date. According to the Dr., Bud should be arriving Dec. 31st! Two days earlier than the orginial due date given.
When Bud arrives is less important that a health arrival but I know Ray wants to have the New Year's baby so we'll see. I think he'll arrive just in time to be our 8-year wedding aniversery gift, which would be Dec. 28th. Or better yet, Bud could share his daddy's birthday, which is Dec. 29th!
I know there are months and months in between here and there but it is fun to speculate!

Dr. Disappointment

Well I had my first prenatal visit yesterday. According to everything I read, it should have been the longest visit ever to my Ob/Gyn, I have to say, if that was the longest I would hate to see all of my follow-up. They only scheduled 30mins! Hello, I'm a scared 1st time mom, I have tons of questions. The doctor seems irritated that I even had questions. I know I made him run late. They struggled to take my blood and then I preceded to pass-out after the blood was draw. this takes time. I know that was something they didn't plan for. (Like I did!) But in general I was just disappointed with the whole thing. I think I'm going to give the Raliegh Birth Center a call. I'm not cool with being treated like a number. This is my child and while I believe I could have a prefectly fine birth with the doctor I saw yesterday, I think I deserve better.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sickness, morning, noon, and night

The morning sickness has started. Only it's not only in the morning, it's alike anytime of the day. Sometimes I'll feel great all day and then suddenly trying to relax at home after work I get so nauseous! I've been lucky so far. I haven't actually vomited yet. The nauseousness is bad! Sometime I think if I did vomit I would feel better but so far nothing.
I go to the doctor tomorrow! I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm scared and I'm hopeful. Will post a post-doc blog tomorrow!

Monday, May 11, 2009

I told my mom

Today I told my mom I am pregnant! She was thrilled. I started by telling her that I had bad news. I would not be able to come to Texas for Christmas again this year. (This will make 2 years in a row that I haven't been home!) But I did have good news, the reason I wouldn't be able to make it is because I'll be like 9 months pregnant. It took her a minute but she was so excited. She is making plans to come up and help when we have the baby. I'm glad she reacted to happily. I know it's her fifth grandchild so I'm sure it's not as exciting as the first but she knows I've been wanting a baby for awhile so she's happy that I'm happy.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

FEAR . . .

Okay I have to admit that I'm afraid of this whole baby thing. We still have a week until our dr. appt. and I'm so afraid the doctor is going to give us bad news. I have no reason to believe anything is wrong. I'm tired but that is normal for this point of my pregnancy and I've never been one to take it easy so slowing down a bit is not a bad thing.
I guess my fear has to do with my happiness. I'm happy. Life is good. We have a lot of work and saving to do before the baby arrives but I'm happy. Truly I am living a blessed life. I have a wonderful growing family. I've been wanting a baby for a long time and finding out that I'm pregnant was like the answer to a prayer. So why the fear? I'm so happy that I just don't think that the happiness can last. Why should I be so happy when other people are suffering? How can I be building a wonderful life when I'm such a horrible ungrateful person?
I know that God only gives us what we can handle and I think I can handle anything that comes my way but I'm still terrified the doctor will tell me they can't find a heartbeat. I'm praying that everything goes well and fingers crossed the doctor will tell me eveything is progressing well and then I'll go to worrying about things that are important like world peace.

Friday, May 8, 2009

I'm a mommy to be!

I'm 6 weeks along in my first pregnancy. I'm tired! We haven't told many people yet. Not quite sure what we are waiting for. We plan to tell our parents this weekend! We thought it would be a nice surprise for our mothers on Mother's Day. This would be the 5th grandchild for each of our parents!

Despite being married for over 7 years, we are the last ones in our families to have a child. Right now, we are just thankful that God has given us this great and awe-inspiring task.
I've not been much of a blogger before but this feels like an important thing to chronicle. I've even been writing in a pregnancy journal! My thoughts are not deep but maybe some day my child will think they were interesting.

Yesterday my husband decided to call our baby "Bud" since that is all it has right now, according to the books we reading. We'll get our first full prenatal check-up on May 18th. Then we'll hear more about Bud. I can't hardly wait!