Mamavation Monday: Scale disappointment and a reality check

So I went to the doctor last week because I decided to go running in 32 degree weather without a hat or jacket.  Yep, I let the sunny looking day lull me into thinking it was warm and totally did not plan accordingly for a freezing north wind.  I only ran a mile but it was one of the hardest of my life.  My ears were hurting so badly I almost went to the ER.  I had never had pain like that in my life.

At the doctor's office they had me step up on the scale.  That evil evil scale!  Why do they start the visit that way?  The horrible number 227!  FUCK!  So at this point I have to options I can pretend I didn't hear or care or I can melt down.  I saved my meltdown rant for later on the safety of Mamavation sistahood.  I hate to admit it really got me down.  For all of the 10k training I had not lost a single pound.  Focus on the positive, right.  I ran a fucking 10k in the middle of December after earning a 4.0 in my doctorate work.  Super positive and yet that damn number is stuck in my head.  227 and suddenly I'm a failure. 

I know I'm far from a failure.  I know I can look at my life and see the good I am doing and yet I'm struggling to shake the number.  Here is the thing, I also know that if I didn't lose I also didn't gain too much.  When Ravebaby weaned at the end of May I gained about 10 lbs.  I also started my doctorate and I was sitting more and more.  If I haven't gained more than the initial weight then I know I'm doing well.  Before I had Ravebaby 4 years ago I was 250 lbs so I'm still better today than 4 years ago.  I'm wheat-free and moving towards more whole foods and cooking more.  As a family we have set a goal for ourselves to try new fruits and vegetables at least twice a month.  We started with butternut squash and this week we'll pick up some parsnips.  We are doing better food wise and I know that will translate to a healthier me no matter what the scale says.

So the reality check is I have a long way to go in learning to cook more of a variety of  food.  I'm also not as cool with the number on the scale as I thought I was.  I know it is a number and yet I feel like it is a judgement on my being.  I'll move forward with the help of my sistas!

Measurements for the start of the year:
Bust: 46
Underbust: 38
Waist: 44
Hips: 49
Weight: 227
Longest distant run: 10k

Random Recipe: Wheat-free Cinnamon Pecan Pancakes

So I'm starting to get more adventurous with my cooking.  I'm a follow the recipe kind of person but I'm trying to adapt my old recipes for wheat-filled things for my new wheat-free life.  I'll be posting my experiements, successes and failures.  We learn from everything so we'll see how much I learn :)

I have always loved pecan pancakes.  So I dusted off the recipe and gave them a wheatless whirl.  Word of caution, I'm labeling things wheat-less not gluten-free because I live in a mixed house.  Cross contamination heaven to say the least.  Besides I read labels and look for wheat not gluten so read your labels!

Martha's Wheatless Cinnamon Pecan Pancakes
2 cups Bisquick Gluten-free Mix
2 cups Whole Milk
2 eggs
4 Tablespoons vegetable oil
3 teaspoons Cinnamon
1 teaspoon Nutmeg
3 handfuls of pecans chopped via food processor

Mix.  I added the pecans last but I don't think order really matters.  Cook and serve.
This yielded about 14 pancakes.

I put lots of butter and syrup.  I would post a pic but I was lucky to get any to eat so forget the pics.  My personal feelings where they were great but next time I will add a bit of sugar and a dash of vanilla.  My dad and DH both said for me to cut the pecans out.  My mom enjoyed them plain with nothing but a bit of butter and normally she hates pancakes.  So that's the skinny on the pancakes.  Let me know if there are tweeks or suggestions to make them better.