18 years and counting

So today, DH and I are celebrating 18 years of being a couple.  We met in high school health class.  The usually boy meets girl.  They become friends and then girl asks boy out and the rest is history.

It has been an amazing adventure with DH.  I could have never predicted our lives today.  When we met all of those years ago we just clicked but honestly we were just friends.  We could just chill and talk.  We went to different colleges several hours apart and seemingly forgot to break-up.  Come December we'll celebrated 12 years of marriage.  Life just has a way of working itself out.

When DH and I first started dating, we would talk about the future in fun not going to be married to you terms.  Who expects to marry their high school sweetheart especially when you are going away to different colleges? We've all heard those stories of long-distance love that grows apart.  We were under no illusion that we would end up together.  DH would talk about naming his sons Mister and Master.  I would laugh at him and tell him he would be lucky to find a woman who would agree to that.  He knows there will be no naming of a son Mister nor Master.  I wanted to be a teacher, plain and simple.  I wanted four kids, maybe five.

So here we are 18 years later.  There is only one child in our lives.  Somedays I wonder why we fought and worked so hard to get a child and then she'll say the right thing and it breaks my heart that she is still an only child.  I would have never pictured being 9 months from turning 35 and with only one child.  I do know that God's timing is perfect.  If I had tried to plan my life it would have been a total mess.  God is in control and while there are days, I know that there is no place else I want to be.  I know to DH the number of children we have does not matter.  One or five as long as we are a happy and together family our size is the least of our concerns.

Having always dreamed of a large family of my own, I have to admit there are days I lose hope.  With the magical ending age of fertility just around the corner, I have to acknowledge that I'm not super cool with the idea of being pregnant after the age of 35.  If we have struggle so much now then surely that door will shut completely then.  I know its not true.  I know it is all in my head and that my being on my period right now, right at the I will be 35+ when I have another baby is just weighting on me.  Age is nothing but a number right?  Still it feels important to say that this was my last chance to be under 35 and have another baby.  Well there is not point crying over an unfertilized egg.  God has a plan and I must just accept and understand that I might not understand the plan for a while.

Today we celebrate 18 years together.  Through thick and thin, richer and poorer, sickness and health, wheat-filled and wheat-free, two dogs to a family with only one and one beautiful blessing of a daughter, I have to say that I would be stupid to question God's timing now.

10 years of wededness

Dec 28, 2001, I married DH. So we are celebrating 10 years of marriage. I think we have both worked our asses off when it comes to staying married. We both look at marriage as a job. Like any job, you have days that are wonderful and days that are off. Days were you can't believe you have the privilege of being with this person for the rest of your life and days were you can't believe you are giving this person the privilege of being with you for the rest of your life.

Marriage is marriage. We both have said that divorce is off the table. We will make it work or die trying. I find this mentally has worked very well for us. When times have been hard I don't look for the out; I don't toss out divorce to get my way. I know the bad times are not forever. If we work at it the good times will come back around.

I think the best advice on marriage I ever got was to "move away from home and learn to cling to each other."  I've heard it from couples who's marriages/relationships didn't make it. "We just did learn to depend on one another. We always turned to other people first.". So DH and I moved to Virginia in July of 2003. It was the best decision we ever made! I had to trust that DH had my back because I had no one else. We became a family. I know that if we hadn't have made that move we would have been divorced a long time ago. So even though we are back in Texas and back with family, we know that our first family is now each other.  Home is where we are and family is us.

Senior Prom '97

So today I celebrate 10 years of marriage.   They have been everything DH promised they would be: good/bad, sickness/health, rich(relatively speaking)/poor, funny/sad and so much more than I could have or would have thought.  The gift of our Audrey 2 years ago and the addition of Snoopy and Jasmin 3 years before that just added to the love in our family.   I think we both would like to expand the family with a few more children but we're learning to let God be in control and just enjoy the ride.

So to DH:  I love you.  I thank you for everything.  We've gone from 16-year-olds with nothing but dreams to 33-year-olds with a real family of our own.  I know we don't always see eye to eye but as long as you're willing to work at it I'm willing too.  I promise you I'm more stubborn and will always win at the "willing to work at it" game.  We celebrate 10 years of marriage but I hope that when we are looking back from our 50th that we'll see just how stupid and childish our views of ourselves were and how we have finally grown-up.  I look forward to many more years of dancing and singing and in general embarrassing of Audrey.  I pray that God blesses us with more children.  I can't wait to see the things that God has in store for us.  Love you always, Martha

So much to do

So I am coming up on my busy season.  I have Audrey's birthday, Christmas, my 10-year wedding anniversary, and DH's birthday.  December just tends to cost a lot of money.  Money which I don't really have but we'll make it work somehow.  We are having Audrey's 2-year portraits done next weekend; it will be a bit pricey but we are so happy we booked AMZ Photography.  Can't wait to post some pictures.  DH and I have decided to forgo a huge party for Audrey.  We are doing a cake and a trip to the zoo with her favorite cousin. 
Christmas will be on a budget, as usual.  DHa nd I both agree that Audrey doesn't really need much so we are going to do a few presents for her.  Thankfully Audrey is a happy kid so things aren't important to her.  I have no clue what to get DH.  He wants things way out of the budget.  He wants a tablet computer but the budget is $100 so the table is out.  Wish I had won one but Rafflecopter hates me.  I haven't won anything since most people have moved over :(
DH and I also have no real clue what to do for our anniversary.  We have always talked about having a vow renewal and then big party but it just not in the budget.  I was thinking about having a "wedding" session with AMZ.  I fit my wedding dress and DH could get a tux.  My friend H took our wedding pics but we never got professional shots made so that might be an idea.  I think we could do a quick vow renewal followed by a romantic dinner.  I know DH would love to run off to Vegas but Audrey isn't weaned and I'm just not ready to leave her overnight.
So much to do and so little time and money.  So any ideas for any of these things?

Picture from the night we got engaged, May 2001.