C25k over

I finished c25k on Thursday. It felt anticlimactic. I was so sore from pushing so hard on Tuesday that I ran slower than slow. I did getting done. The worst part was that later that day I felt great. I guess I had worked the soreness out! I'm proud of having stuck it out. I finished 5 days later than my original goal. I lost 3lbs but 2 pants sizes. I feel good about myself. I really started c25k at a low point. I was happy in my job, I wasn't feeling like a good mom or wife. As I ran each session I just felt better. It was my mediation time. I stopped hearing everyone else and I could listen to me and to God. I feel like I'm finally on the right road. So if you want to be a runner then I'm totally recommending C25k. There are lots of versions; just find the one that works for you. I'm signed up for my first 5k. May 19th I'm running! It's been almost 16 years since I ran my last race. I can wait. Now that I'm running again, I plan to keep running. Up next, I need a jogging stroller so I can take Ravebaby along with me. I wonder if I can get DH out there with me too?

I'm a super loser at life

Okay not really but I haven't run in nearly a week!  I had a fubar on Thursday's C25k.  I accidentally turned the app off and didn't realize it until after I had run a mile.  I was so mad!  I just left the gym in total disgust with myself.  I ran a 1 mile for nothing!  So the wrong attitude to have. 

After a bit of reflection I realized that i lost focus.  I'm doing C25k.  My mile time should not be my focus, which is how I turned the app off to begin with, I was trying to check my 1/3 mile time and then again at 1 mile.  Fast is not the point!  Just running for the 30 mins and then I can worry about the 3 mile time.  I've got 18 days to get my ass in gear and be ready to run a 5k.

I'm running tomorrow.  I have to.  I need to.  I need the stress relief.  I need the runner's high.  I need to accomplish a goal.  I have 2 days of C25k left.  I can do this!

Week 9 - C25k

Today was my Week 9 Day 1 run of Couch to 5K. I really can't believe that I have made it this far. Would had though I would have gotten hurt or just plain old derailed by life. I remember the first day of C25k, I woke up at 7 am and told DH I was tried of excuses and went and ran. Now 9 weeks later and I worried that once I don't have my little app telling me to run that I'm just going to back to sitting on my ass. I have really enjoyed the challenge. I've liked pushing myself.

9 weeks ago I felt fat. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt trapped in a life that seemed to be happening to me. Now I feel like I am happy. I am beautiful. I am confident. I have the nest job ever which is being a full-time stay at home mom. What a difference 9 weeks can make.
Running has really made me feel like my old self. The attitude adjustment has been from top to bottom. I'm just plain ol' happy!

So today's run I was inside, which I normally hate but it was just too hot and there was too much pollen in the air. I hate the indoor running because it feels easier than running outside. I also have no clue how far I actually run. I was worried that a 30 min run would be too much. I just was't confident that I could do it. I need to have more faith in myself. I was trying to psych myself up for what I thought was the last 5 mins when the app called time. I was so proud of me. I ran and felt like the 30 mins actually not 30 mins. I was really shocked that I ran and didn't die before the 30 was up. How far did I really run? I have no clue. I hope I can run outside on Thursday so I can get an idea of how close to 5k I actually am. I am a runner, again. After a 15 year break, I have my eye on a race for May 19th, just one week before my 33rd birthday. I can do it. I will do it. I'm almost there.

Slow as molasses and half as sweet

So I'm on Week 8 Day 1 of Couch to 5k. I really can't believe that I've made it this far. Seriously last time I got hurt on the very first run and then didn't run for 8 months. Yet here I am; I'll be done with the program at the end of next week. Feels so good to be so close!

Now I'm still super slow! At today's run I ran a 12 and 1/2 min mile. That is slow but I ran it and I did two of those motherfuckers at pace, so I'm still happy. Today was the first day I had a 28 min run and the first day I ran a full two miles plus about 1/6. Really and truly for 33 year old,200+ lbs woman who hadn't run in 15+ years that is not bad. Even if it is keep your mouth shut and let me believe I'm doing good.

After my last run, I told DH that there was no way I would be running 3 miles by the end of this program since I was even finishing 2 miles in the running. Today was really the micro win that I needed. I can do this. I can be in 5k shape by my birthday next month. I can really do this! I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch but I'm feeling good and my goal is in reach.

I know that first comes endurance then I can start working on getting my time down. If I run a 9 min mile and then quit then what did I really do, especially if my goal is a 5k? I also need to work on my actually running form. When I get tired I have the bad habit of dropping my head and that only makes the actual run harder. I have to breathe! I need to keep my face relaxed. I need to keep stretching. So many thing I need to remember from my old xcountry days. But seriously Coach use to get on me for not stretching and now I truly see the wisdom of his words. I think that is the only reason that I haven't gotten hurt. Getting fast will come in time. Mileage comes with training. Form comes from practice. I'm almost there. Go me!

Running off the weekend

On Saturday, DH, Audrey (Ravebaby) and I went to This Won't Suck '12 in Shreveport, LA.  We caught a ride on the Social Bliss Will of Fire van.  It was fun!  We know Social Bliss from their local jigs and in fact Max, the lead singer, is DH's guitar teacher and DD just loves him.  We caught the van at 3 pm and I got into my bed at 3 am.  It was a long day.  Ravebaby did wonderfully!  Honestly she was better than some of the "adults." :)

Before going on the van, I had the unpleasant discovery of my period starting.  I knew something was going on with me.  I had had no energy all week.  I told DH on Friday that I was worried that my hormones were just off.  Sure enough, my period started 2 weeks early.  I had thought it was time for a pregnancy test but Saturday's discovery proved that would not be necessary.  I'm sad about it.  I want another baby but I have to trust that God knows best and just deal.

As part of dealing I send Sunday in bed.  I was cramping so badly.  I hadn't hurt like that in ages.  I missed church on Easter.  I was just in too much pain.  On the upside, my energy is back.

Today I ran my Week 7 Day 1 of Couch-to-5k.  It felt so good to run.  Just run and think.  Think it out and keep running.  This week has 3 25-min runs.  It felt good to run.  I didn't run very fast but unlike my last run with stomach cramps, this was easy and I kept a steady pace.  My hip isn't hurting anymore.  I'm stretching.  I'm adding planks, sit-ups and push-ups.  Not too many just a couple to start building up my upper body.  So I ran off the weekend.

Here is Social Bliss from Saturday's jig.  You can actually see Ravebaby on stage dancing with Girlilla and the Tutu crew. 

25 min run

So yesterday I completed Week 6 Day 3 of Couch-to-5K.  It was a 25 min run.  My first 25 min run in years!  It hurt.  I kept getting stomach aches during the run.  Every time I would feel my stomach crap I would push myself harder.  I was not going to quit!  Once I slowed down to my cool-down, I had to hurry to the bathroom, just barely made it.  Maybe pushing was not the best idea but I did it!  I ran my 25 minutes.  From here on out the C25k runs are all long runs.  Week 7 is 3 25-min runs.  If I did it once with my stomach hurting then I'll kick ass this next week. 

I've actually been looking for a 5k to run before my next birthday.  I've been dreaming of actually doing some races and eventually moving up a 10k and one day a marathon.  I've always wanted to run a marathon but with my ass on the couch for the last 15 years, the idea was just that an idea.  I'm looking forward to the push.  I'm discovering just how strong I really am.  I'm discovering that it's not about the scale or the dress size, it's about getting off your ass.  I'm never going to win the Boston marathon but maybe I'll actually run some day.

Yesterday's power music was Wait Wait Don't tell me from NPR.  I'm loving listening to Wait, wait.  I'm thinking of trying an audio book next.  You can download free podcasts from Wait, wait's webpage.  If you haven't listened to an episode, do it!  I love Wait Wait!

20 min run next to public enemy #1

Okay so it wasn't that bad.  The dude is actually very nice but today he and some really old dude had to talk about Trayvon Martin.  These dudes were white (point of fact).  They were both in agreement that Trayvon probably deserved it and that the other dude was justified in shooting.  I wanted to puke.  I had just started my 20 min run and I was struggling to push myself to run and here these guys are talking about how some kid deserved to die because he was in a hoodie in a place he shouldn't have been and that the media was using a baby picture to make the other guy seem horrible. 

I've purposely avoided talking about Trayvon.  It hurts to think about it.  I'm a mom.  My husband is black and that means, God willing, that I'll have a son who is black.  DH and I plan to live in a "nice" neighborhood.  I can't think about it without thinking it could happen to me.  I could be Trayvon's mom.  DH loves to wear a hoodie.  In fact he usually dresses as the Uni-bomber for Halloween in a dark gray hoodie.  Since when does what you wear determine whether or not you live?  Have we gotten to the point that life means so little? 

So today I ran 20 mins.  I didn't want to.  The old dudes nearly made me quit.  I had my headphones in and I pretended to be into my run.  I wanted to say something.  Between Fox News on the TV and the dudes next to me, I just wanted to leave.  How do you push to make yourself better when the world seems to only see you by the pigments of your skins?  I can't tell you how many times I've been mistaken as the cleaning lady instead of the teacher/librarian.  I didn't stop.  I kept running.  Every time I wanted to quit I pushed harder.  Rather than let someone who doesn't know me determine my life, I used it to push myself to be better.  I know these old dudes are entitled to their opinion same as me.  Life teaches us to look at things and make judgments based on our own experiences.  None of us know all of the facts in the case so me jumping on some old dude's case wouldn't do anything.  Besides I would have started crying and then I would have lost all creditability.   

So what did I learn today?  I can run 20 mins straight!  I also learned that only I can determine how I do in this life.  I might live to be 100 or die on the way home but my life is just that my life.  I can't be scared to do something because of what someone else might think.  For every person that sees me as the cleaning lady, there are just as many who's life I've changed through teaching or heck just by breathing.  I've got to do me.  Right now I am a wife, mother and a runner in training. 

Today at Standpipe after my run.

5 mins of running

So today was Week 4 Day 3 of my C25k challenge and it was not easy.  I really had to reach down deep inside to finish that last run.  I had to run up a hill.  I actually grunted very loudly to get up that hill.  Some lady was looking at me as I rounded the hill.  I actually did all 4 runs.  I was slow as hell but I got them down.

I am actually a bit concerned about running on Saturday.  I'm suppose to move on to Week 5, which is 3 5 min runs.  I just don't know if I can do it.   I just feel like I really really struggled to finish that 2nd 5 min run.  How can I possibly handle 3 5 min runs?  But then again I didn't think I could handle even one 5 min run and today I finished 2.  It would actually be 1 min less of running total.

This is such a mind game with myself.  I really find myself pushing myself and talking me through each run.  After all who in the world cares if I ever run again?  This is a goal/challenge I set for me and I have to do it.  In that same vein, I am beginning to find that my hip is starting to really hurt.  I'm stretching before and after each run.  I'm taking ibuprofen.  I'm swearing off high heels.  I think I need to break down and use some ice.  I am my own worst enemy.  I am my own competition.  I am my own champion.  I will do this.  Bum hip and all . . .

Pushing through song of the day: This river is wild by The Killers

Fuck you lazy Martha!

Today was a true test of commitment to running.  At noon, I struggled to get out of a chair so I decided I should skip today's C25k run.  Who would know?  Who would care?

Lazy Martha was working hard to justify staying home.  Get off your ass (GOYA) Martha was just not stepping up to the plate.  My hip was hurting but too badly.  My feet were sore from wearing high heels last night.  I had so many reasons to skip.  Then all of sudden GOYA Martha stepped up!  If I don't go today then I have to go Monday morning and then to work.  It makes the morning tight.  If I wait until Monday night then I'm tried from the workday.  Tuesday we have gymnastics with Audrey so no gym time.

1pm when the gym opened up I got off my ass and went to run!  I did it!  I actually ran all 4 runs from C25K.  I felt so good once I got that last run done.  So I think I put lazy Martha in her place.  My next run should be Tuesday but I'll go Wednesday morning then I'll be into week 5.  Almost half way to a 5K! 

Today's song: Roam by the B52s

Couch to 5k - Why bother?

So I started doing Couch to 5k almost a month ago.  Yesterday I ran Week 4 Day 1.  I say I ran, I more like ran most of it and then wanted to die but finished strong!  Lets be honest, it kicked my ass. 

So why do it?  Well that is a bit more complicated.  Back in the day I ran cross country.  Strangely I ended up in class on accident and just loved the team and coach so I stayed.  I was never very good.  The girl's races were 2 miles.  I think my best time was like 18 mins or so.  I was never fast but I always finished.  I never in the 3 years quit a race, not even in the hot deep East Texas August heat.  After my last race Senior year, I was done.  I stopped running and started sitting.  About 60 lbs later, I decided to get off my ass.  I've had many many stops and starts on my way back to running.  I've started various C25K programs but always quit for one reason or another.  My last stop was an injury.  I injuried my hip; the doctor calls it bursitis.  After a few months of R&R, like close to 9, I decided to get off my ass again. 

The motivation to run is complicated.  I'm not at the runner's high part yet.  Right now it's all in my head.  I can do it!  It's me verses me.  I want to prove to myself that I can do it.  Why do I care?  I've really struggled in the last few years to find me.  I was happy in Viriginia with my little family and then we moved back to Texas and my career was thrown in a new direction.  The career thing has really had me down.  I left a job I loved and took a job I was sure I could do.  Time proved that could I take a beating but that I wasn't ready for the job.  I felt a bit out of control.  Yes, I have control issues.  How do I get back in control?  This is were the running comes in.  Going running is something I choose to do; I have to be self motivated to go.  If I miss that is on me.  I make the excuses.  I reap the rewards. 

DH has been very supportive.  We've been together since back in the XC days.  If I feel better about me then it's better for all of us.  I have more energy.  I have more self confidence.  I have more peace.  Even after having my ass handed to me by that last run, I feel great.  I ran more yesterday than the day before.  I've like quadrupaled my running from a month ago.  I'm not race ready.  The program is about 9 weeks and I might take longer.  I'm hoping to do a 5k by next b-day so I've got about 2 months.  Plenty of time to train and actually complete a race.  I'm not running for the glory.  I'm too slow for any glory.  I'm running for the peace and calm it brings me.

Oh by the way I'm using the Get Running app on my iPhone along with my Work-it-out playlist. I think I need less Dusty Springfield and more The Killers on my list. Just saying.  Below my favorite running song.