Saturday, March 17, 2012

Couch to 5k - Why bother?

So I started doing Couch to 5k almost a month ago.  Yesterday I ran Week 4 Day 1.  I say I ran, I more like ran most of it and then wanted to die but finished strong!  Lets be honest, it kicked my ass. 

So why do it?  Well that is a bit more complicated.  Back in the day I ran cross country.  Strangely I ended up in class on accident and just loved the team and coach so I stayed.  I was never very good.  The girl's races were 2 miles.  I think my best time was like 18 mins or so.  I was never fast but I always finished.  I never in the 3 years quit a race, not even in the hot deep East Texas August heat.  After my last race Senior year, I was done.  I stopped running and started sitting.  About 60 lbs later, I decided to get off my ass.  I've had many many stops and starts on my way back to running.  I've started various C25K programs but always quit for one reason or another.  My last stop was an injury.  I injuried my hip; the doctor calls it bursitis.  After a few months of R&R, like close to 9, I decided to get off my ass again. 

The motivation to run is complicated.  I'm not at the runner's high part yet.  Right now it's all in my head.  I can do it!  It's me verses me.  I want to prove to myself that I can do it.  Why do I care?  I've really struggled in the last few years to find me.  I was happy in Viriginia with my little family and then we moved back to Texas and my career was thrown in a new direction.  The career thing has really had me down.  I left a job I loved and took a job I was sure I could do.  Time proved that could I take a beating but that I wasn't ready for the job.  I felt a bit out of control.  Yes, I have control issues.  How do I get back in control?  This is were the running comes in.  Going running is something I choose to do; I have to be self motivated to go.  If I miss that is on me.  I make the excuses.  I reap the rewards. 

DH has been very supportive.  We've been together since back in the XC days.  If I feel better about me then it's better for all of us.  I have more energy.  I have more self confidence.  I have more peace.  Even after having my ass handed to me by that last run, I feel great.  I ran more yesterday than the day before.  I've like quadrupaled my running from a month ago.  I'm not race ready.  The program is about 9 weeks and I might take longer.  I'm hoping to do a 5k by next b-day so I've got about 2 months.  Plenty of time to train and actually complete a race.  I'm not running for the glory.  I'm too slow for any glory.  I'm running for the peace and calm it brings me.

Oh by the way I'm using the Get Running app on my iPhone along with my Work-it-out playlist. I think I need less Dusty Springfield and more The Killers on my list. Just saying.  Below my favorite running song.