Monday, June 29, 2009

A day of headaches

I have a headache. In fact I've had it for about two days. I hate headaches. They are not fun and I don't like to take anything for them since I'm always hoping it is just a lack of water and if I drink enough water I'll be fine. So far no luck but I do think I'm finally getting enough water.
The morning sickness is letting up! That is good news for me and Bud but food aversions are still going strong :( No fried chicken or peppermint. Oh well. I hope this headache will go away and that I begin to feel perky again.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Bud in Pictures

Today we had our first ultrasound! It was an amazing experience. I didn't expect them to find Bud so quickly. I couldn't help laughing/giggling when they show us Bud. Everytime I saw Bud move I laughed. I know I ruined a few pictures but when Bud moved he looked like he was laughing. Just the thought of the baby laughing just tickled me.
Ray was complete overwhelmed by the whole thing. I think seeing the baby for the first time just took his breath away. It was overwhelming for me too. I just couldn't believe that that was my baby. I think I have been holding back on really connecting with Bud. Like since I hadn't seen the baby, the baby didn't really exist. Well no more. Baby Bud is in there!
Just a funny thing about the ultrasound. They had me empty my bladder in the middle of the ultrasound session in hope that that would make Bud move more but actually Bud when to sleep! The tech had me move around to awake Bud up! Ray and I both had to talk to Bud and try to get him to move! It was funny.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Grapefruit Juice

I've had people ask me about craving and up until about two weeks ago I didn't have any. I've had food aversions for a while, like no bread and nothing fried, especially chicken (I can't believe this child is actually mine and Ray's, no fried chicken?) but I've just started to have a craving for grapefruit juice.
Why grapefruit juice? I do like grapefruits. Having grown-up in Texas, I've had the privilege of having access to some of the best grapefruits in the country if not the world, no grapefruit compares to a fresh ripe grapefruit from the Texas Rio Grande Valley. However, I've never been one to drink grapefruit juice. The juice seems like cheating, like I'm too lazy to dig into a grapefruit. But now I'm craving grapefruit juice all the time. I honestly feel like a junkie. I'm totally unable to concentrate on anything until I have grapefruit juice. My sister-in-law said that grapefruit juice with a pinch of salt soothes the stomach. I'm no sure how soothing it is but Baby Bud won't let me do anything until I have a glass of grapefruit juice. I never know when the need is going to hit but when it does, I must have grapefruit juice with a pinch of salt. Oh well, that's pregnancy!

Monday, June 22, 2009

No trip to Texas

Well after much debate and soul-search, we've decided to stay put. There seems to be much turmoil going on and I just don't need the stress. It's amazing how even though we live 20 hours away, people still try to suck us into their problems. Can I really do anything for you from Virginia other than listen? Is there a reason for you to dump your problems on me?
We both love our families. No family is perfect and God knows ours are no exception but something I really have to wonder how it is that we were all raised in the same family and can turn out so differently?
I hope that we'll go to Texas next summer with a 5 or 6 month old Baby Bud. While my child will never be a Texan, he/she should still see what makes Ray and I so Texan. Baby Bud is a Virginian by conception and will be a North Carolinian by birth. Poor kid, he/she will just be all messed up.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

12 weeks down

Well I've made it to the 12th week. I'm still nauseous most days. I hope this is not a sign of things to come. They say it will lessen once I hit the second trimester but then other folks have said they were sick all the way thru. We'll just have to wait and see.
My cousin is getting ready to have her baby. I finally talked to my aunt about the whole thing and apparently she lost 40 pounds while she was pregnant! That is so dangerous, for her and the baby. At least she started gaining back some weight in the last month or so. So now I am waiting to hear how everything goes for her. And by the way, outside of losing weight, she had no other symptoms.
I double checked with my mom and my aunt, neither had nausea. So again, this whole nauseous thing seems to be Ray's fault. If my baby were Mexican instead of Mexican and Black, I would not be suffering. (Dude, totally kidding, here, please no hateful comments about being mixed race.) Actually I talked to Ray's mom, she didn't have nausea either. Vomit is a special bond that Bud and I are sharing! The joy!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

When do you have to be responsible?

I have a difficult choice to make. I can either go home to Texas and see my parents, it's been over a year since I've been to Texas and seen the parental units, or buy new windows for the baby's room. There is the part of me that wants to be a responsible parent and buy the windows. With the baby due in December, I know new windows will be needed. Honestly we need to redo the whole house but I have just enough money for the two in the baby's room, right now. But also as a child, I miss my mom. I'm pregnant, feeling alone and a bit scared and I want my mommy. If we don't take the chance to go now, it could be close to two years before we have the chance to make the trip to Texas. I know my mom will try her hardest come up and help once the baby is born but that in December. That's a long time from now. Truly I'm torn.
Be a child and see my mom or be a parent and get new windows for the baby?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Snoopy, my doggy child

I know it seems strange for me to blog about my dog on a blog about getting ready for my baby but Snoopy has been a big part of my journey in getting ready for an actual human child.
Today is the 2-year adoption anniversary of my Snoopy. The day I found Snoopy in the Piedmont Shopper was my last day at Kirkman Park. After a horrible 2-year stint at KP, I was finally going to be free! I had finally finished my MLIS, my 90 min daily commute to High Point was finally going to be over and we had a house with a fenced yard so it was time for a dog. Ray and I had both grown up with dogs and missing having one but as long as we were in an apartment we knew it would be unfair to get a dog. Dogs need room to run and play. Anyways, the Piedmont Shopper comes out every Thursday and the online edition would post at noon every Thursday so on-line I went. There was an ad for a Cavelier King Charles mix 15-months old so I called. I was the first person to call and I could offer a fenced yard so he was ours if we wanted him.
I called Ray and asked him to meet the dog. If Ray was okay with the dog then I know I would love him. Well once I arrived to meet the dog, Ray was set that Snoopy was ours. Me, I didn't like him so much at first. He was super excited! He was trying to jump on me and I wasn't sure if he would ever calm down enough to be a nice dog. But we took him home and he immediatly became my child. Snoopy changed me in ways that I didn't know I needed to change. I could no longer just pick up and go away for the weekend, I had to think of Snoopy. I remember the first time we were going to leave him alone, Ray and I were both in a panic! Do we leave him inside? Do we leave outside? What if it rains!
I know that Snoopy is not a child. He is a dog. A wonderful dog that I just can't image my life without. But I think he has helped change some of my selfish ways and I think that has gone a long way to getting me ready for a child. I know my life is going to change in ways I can't even image right now. I know that dogs and children are not the same thing but Snoopy completely changed my life for the better and I know that I'm going to be a better mom since I was able to "practice" on him.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Puke and other things not fun

I've got one day til I hit 11 weeks. After 11 weeks things are suppose to get better. Puking and nausea should lessen and be all but gone after week 14 or so. After paying homage to the porcelain god this morning, I swear week 14 can't get here soon enough.
I hate this up and down feeling. I had a great day yesterday! I was able to walk and geocache without any problems. I felt good. No nausea at all, no cramps, just a great day and then this morning slapped me in the face. Do I want to be sick 24/7, not at all but this whole wonderful day followed by awful day isn't fun. It also makes it hard to plan. I have school work to get done and no energy to do it.
Tomorrow also starts a new phase of Bud's life, fetus! I hate that term, fetus. It just sounds awful. Bud is a baby. Has been since well like Easter so going from embryo to fetus doesn't mean anything to me but I know that in medical terms its a big step for Bud. With each passing day, Bud gets stronger and is less likely to jump ship. I think I read that the placenta will also be starting to function once we hit week 11. Big steps that will hopefully mean I spend less time puking and more time getting Bud's room together.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Cramping again

Today, I cramped for forever! Okay not really forever. More like 90 minutes but still I was hurting and worried. I broke down and called the nurse and asked for advice. Basically there is nothing to do. Unless the pain got worse than period pain or I started bleeding than I just needed to put my feet up.
Putting one's feet up at work is not exactly the easiest thing to do. Luckily now that the kids are out and most teachers are out, I could actually lay down and just wait the cramps out. They did eventually go away, Thank God! But it was very scary.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I'm cramping!

I am cramping like crazy. I thought that cramps would be out with my period. They would be something of the past until after the baby. I asked the doctor at my appointment today and he said they are perfectly normal. One of my friends also confirmed that cramps are normal. As long as there is no blood then everything is fine. so far so good. no blood, just cramps and nausea!

The new doctor was awesome! I really like him. The nurse was great. Both actually took time to ask questions about our lives. Where do we work? Are we excited? Was the baby planned? Dr. Disappointment didn't even realize that he had seen me before. I have much better feeling about this practice. I felt kinda bad I didn't have more questions. This doctor had actually craved out time to talk to us. We don't get to see the baby until June 24th. It's a long time to wait! The doctor did try to let us hear the heartbeat but it was still a little to early.

Monday, June 1, 2009

The business of being born

If you haven't seen this film, you need to watch it! I finally bought it today and watched it. I started crying as I watched each birth. Ever since my days at Hollins, I have wanted to have a natural childbirth. I believe that I am strong enough to have a baby without drugs.
As a woman, I believe that God has given me everything I need to bring my baby into the world. Pregnancy is not a sickness. I am not ill. I am pregnant! Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time without doctors. Women all over the world give birth everyday without drugs.
I know that rather than being interviewed by the doctors, I am interviewing doctors. I decide what happens to me not the doctor so the doctor has to be willing to work with me not against me.
I'll be working on a birth plan. If everything goes well then I'll be birthing in a squat position without any drugs, no cuts, and breastfeeding within the hour. Well it all work out? Not sure but I hope so.