Friday, January 31, 2014

Moving forward? Time for a CV

So I'm still in the process of deciding why I am getting my doctorate.  I get asked why all of the time and outside I'm being lead by God, which leads to some strange looks, I haven't really been sure.  I want to homeschool my child; however, I'm not the sort of woman who can stay at home with her kid all day.  Stay-at-home moms work their asses off and I ain't that girl.  So I have been thinking and thinking and getting my resume out there.  I'm not in a serious job hunt since I love my job as a GA but I am looking for full-time work to see where I might land and see where I am being lead. 

In an ideal world I would work part-time outside of the home as a lecturer or librarian.  I miss the library world so much!  The funny thing about being a lecturer is that I'm really only qualified to teach in a library program and the closest one is at Sam Houston, which is the rival to my current university SFA.  The rivalry thing aside, the commute is not that bad especially if only a couple of time a week.  This has me working on my CV.  A university wants to know that you are a researcher and can bring "honor" to the institution.  Here is the thing, I never planned on not working outside of the public school field so I've never presented at a conference or published a paper.  I've done the work and have some projects and papers that might would have been worthy but I never thought I needed it so I never got off my butt.  Now I need it to create a CV and I feel like I'm years behind! 

I am going to present a research paper with one of my co-hort members in a couple of weeks.  I'm not sure I have a lot to say so I'm nervous.  I feel like my professional life is suddenly on the line.  I know that that is not a true statement.  There will be jobs and opportunities a plenty in my future but I like a plan and I like working towards something so here I go.  I recently submitted a paper for publication.  It will be weeks before I hear back but I'm daring greatly and getting myself and my research out there.  I expect to be rejected.  I need to be rejected.  I'm not ready for publication but I also know that I'll never believe anything different until I get my first piece published.  I mean I never would have thought I would keep a 4.0 through 15 doctoral hours and yet here I am.  I am a researcher and I'm going to make it work along with being a homeschooling mother.  I can do this. 

This is my current jam (enjoy!  Ravebaby has me playing it day and night):

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Mamavation Monday: 2-week challenge wrap up

So I finished the mamavation 2-week challenge and my number one take away, working out doesn't have to take hours!  Now when I run I'm usually making a commitment to running around an hour.  I am the sort of person that avoids weights mostly because I find them intimidating and I have know clue what to do.  So enter the 2-week challenge and a personal challenge to finish.  There were three workouts, cardio, abs, and arms.  You hit each one twice a week and watch your body change!  Now my results were dramatic,I think I need to have a better diet for dramatic but I'm very proud to report having lost an inch on my waist!  I have been amazed that none of the workouts took longer than 40 mins and I felt great.  I noticed the exercises got easier and I got faster. 

So I know I can commit to 40 mins a day for me.  The arms portion was the fastest so if nothing else I have zero excuse for not getting beautifully sculpted arms and as I build muscle I burn more fat!  I have dropped long runs for a more balanced workout.  I'm going for short runs 1-2 miles plus one of the exercise set from the 2-week challenge.  So I've already completed one of my goals for the year, to complete a 2-week challenge.  I'm feeling good and ready to keep it up.  I'm thinking next go around I'll sign up for the advanced 2-week, I mean if I stay on track the beginner will be too easy next time around.  Set my goals high, right?

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Mamavation Monday: Week 1 of the 2 week challenge

Yes I know it's Tuesday but better late than never right!

I have survived week 1 of the Mamavation 2-week Challenge and I'm feeling surprising good.  I'm finding the workouts are getting easier and I seem to be getting curvier or that might just be my imagination but I'm taking it.  I am still a bit scared of the scale.  I hopped on Wednesday and it said 230, which is 3 lbs more than start, and then I hopped back on Friday and it said 225, which is a 2 lb loss from start weight.  I think this means that the scale doesn't mean shit.  5 pound swing in just a couple of days!  Anyways, I haven't done measurements but I think those will be a bit more true to showing a change for the better.

The 2-week challenge has introduce me to a couple of new exercises and brought back some old friends, sit-ups anyone?  My favorite day is Mama Guns, which is a killer arm work out.  Since my big goal for the year is to get stronger and stop being afraid of the weight room, this day really helps me get moving towards my goal.  I'm actually of thinking of keep the workout up and just adding back my running.  Rather than going long distances, I'm thinking just a mile or two after the work-out for the day.  We'll see what I do.  So far I'm pretty sure that this Mama is going to have some killer guns!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Mamavation Monday: Scale disappointment and a reality check

So I went to the doctor last week because I decided to go running in 32 degree weather without a hat or jacket.  Yep, I let the sunny looking day lull me into thinking it was warm and totally did not plan accordingly for a freezing north wind.  I only ran a mile but it was one of the hardest of my life.  My ears were hurting so badly I almost went to the ER.  I had never had pain like that in my life.

At the doctor's office they had me step up on the scale.  That evil evil scale!  Why do they start the visit that way?  The horrible number 227!  FUCK!  So at this point I have to options I can pretend I didn't hear or care or I can melt down.  I saved my meltdown rant for later on the safety of Mamavation sistahood.  I hate to admit it really got me down.  For all of the 10k training I had not lost a single pound.  Focus on the positive, right.  I ran a fucking 10k in the middle of December after earning a 4.0 in my doctorate work.  Super positive and yet that damn number is stuck in my head.  227 and suddenly I'm a failure. 

I know I'm far from a failure.  I know I can look at my life and see the good I am doing and yet I'm struggling to shake the number.  Here is the thing, I also know that if I didn't lose I also didn't gain too much.  When Ravebaby weaned at the end of May I gained about 10 lbs.  I also started my doctorate and I was sitting more and more.  If I haven't gained more than the initial weight then I know I'm doing well.  Before I had Ravebaby 4 years ago I was 250 lbs so I'm still better today than 4 years ago.  I'm wheat-free and moving towards more whole foods and cooking more.  As a family we have set a goal for ourselves to try new fruits and vegetables at least twice a month.  We started with butternut squash and this week we'll pick up some parsnips.  We are doing better food wise and I know that will translate to a healthier me no matter what the scale says.

So the reality check is I have a long way to go in learning to cook more of a variety of  food.  I'm also not as cool with the number on the scale as I thought I was.  I know it is a number and yet I feel like it is a judgement on my being.  I'll move forward with the help of my sistas!

Measurements for the start of the year:
Bust: 46
Underbust: 38
Waist: 44
Hips: 49
Weight: 227
Longest distant run: 10k