Mourning Normalcy for Ravebaby

Okay, so I don't always talk about my wheatfree life as much as I should but today someone on my facebook posted about the frustrations on living dairy-free and feeling alone in the frustration especially when it comes to telling their child no when they want something.  So here goes . . .

Dear Parents of a child with allergies:
I know you are wondering what you did wrong?  Did you eat the wrong thing during pregnancy?  Why would your child be punished like this?  They can't eat X and everyone else around them can.  It is so unfair.

You are right.  It is totally unfair and in most cases there is nothing you could have done differently and outside of this one huge inconvenience (reading every damn label in the world before buying/eating/using) your child is great and really you won't trade them for anything. 

So you have every parent (of a child with an allergy) in the world's permission to mourn your loss of normalcy.  Cry it out.  Scream it out.  Do it now.  Then understand you will want to do it again and again for the rest of your life.  You might want to cry when you realize your child will never have the First Communion you had always envisioned, just the blood no host 'cause of the wheat.  You will have to say no when every around is buying from the ice cream man since he doesn't have anything diary-free.  You will feel low and judged when you say no to a cookie.  People will look at you like you have killed Mickey Mouse but they don't know that that cookie will cause your child hours of agony later. 

You may mourn.  You may cry.  You will survive and after all of your work and your careful choices you will have a teenage who eats everything they are allergic to because it won't kill them just make them hurt.  Hey, they are they ones who have to make friends.  You will feel like your efforts have been useless but YOU KEPT THEM ALIVE. You kept a simple rashy allergy from turning into a deadly one so you go with your bad self!

I cry.  Sometimes I see my archnemisis give his child, Ravebaby's best friend, a cookie, right in front of Ravebaby and I want to cry and scream about how unfair it is.  It is not anyone fault.  It is not a bad thing.  I live a wheatless life and I'm good with it most days.  I hate telling Ravebaby no.  I hate seeing that look of "I want that" and her feeling defeated.  I want my child to be normal. I want to give her that damn cheap ass nasty cookie so that she won't feel different.  I want to give it to her so I won't feel different.  We're different.  That is life.  It is not fair.  I allow myself a moment to cry and mourn and then I move on. 

So please don't feel alone.  Please know we all do it.  No matter how cool we are with the X-free life we lead, we all have times we mourn the loss of that X.  Go ahead cry.  Go ahead morn.  Believe it or not, you are just being normal :)

Signed,
Wheatless Mama, mom of one, wheatless for 3 years +

(Closed) Review & GIVEAWAY: Kinnikinnick New Gluten-free Bread Line (Ends 10/24/12)

So if you have been gluten-free or wheat-free for any length of time, you have tried finding bread. When DH and I first tried going wheat-free 9 years ago gluten-free bread was hard to find and tasted worse than dirt. Don't even get me started on the texture! Most were like biting into sand, just plain old gross! So anytime someone gives a gluten-free bread high marks, I am first in line to get it. As soon as I started hearing good things about the new Kinnikinnick bread, in the yellow packages, I wanted to try it. When the reviews said it was better than Udi's, I had to get it!

So you know I live in the backwoods of deep East Texas, known for pine trees not healthy eating, where the hades was I going to this new bread. They announced it back in March and I still had not seen it anywhere. When I saw that Kinnikinnick would be at the Gluten and Allergen Free Expo, I knew this would be my chance to try the new bread! Now let me just get this out there, I was really suspicious of the Kinnikinnick bread. I had choked down some before and just like I said, I choked it down. Seriously, it was awful. To me any bit of improvement would be heads and tails above the old bread line. I decided to keep an open mind but to be honest I wasn't expecting much. I think the tag line, Toss Out The Toaster, was probably the real kicker for me. Even if it taste good, I just knew you would have to toast it so it would not fall apart. I mean we were an Udi's family so Kinnikinnick was going to have to work very hard for our approval.

At the Expo I made a bee line for Kinnikinnick, they have to have the new bread. They did but everyone else was also running for the bread. I got a small little piece. It was good! It wasn't toasted! I wanted more but so did the crowd! I was pushed along. No more bread for me :( What is a Wheatless Mama to do? Me, I got brave and sent Kinnikinnick a request to do a review! They said yes!

This is what I got in the mail! One loaf of white, one loaf of multigrain, one package of hamburger buns and one of hot dog buns. I was in heaven. What was I going to make first? The thing I had missed most, Grilled Cheese!

That's a picture of my grilled cheese. It was good! I gave my mom half of one and asked what she thought. Her words, what are you doing eating regular bread? Yep, it tasted GOOD! The texture was nice and airy not like sand at all. The taste was like fresh white bread. Let me tell you, Ravebaby ate the crust! She always leaves the Udi's crust. I think that says a lot. The bread was so good and soft that she didn't want to leave any. Ravebaby has never eaten "real" bread; she's always had Udi's. DH also loved his grilled cheese. He's not a bread eater anyway but this he enjoyed.

So test number 1: grilled cheese - verdict PASSED

Next up, the cold picnic sandwich! Toss out the toaster? Okay Kinnikinnick here is the big test. I have missed cold sandwiches. I grew up with cold bologna sandwiches and really enjoy and have missed them. Not that there is anything wrong with sandwiches on toast but on a hot day, I don't want a hot sandwich!

We went all out. Fresh turkey breast from the deli and fancy cheese slices, we were going to do it right. Ravebaby had a playmate at the park so a picnic was perfect. First thing I noticed, the bread didn't fall apart as I made my sandwich. Next I took a bite. The bread did not fall apart! THE BREAD DID NOT FALL APART! It was cold and straight from the package and it did not fall apart! After two years of Udi's, this whole "I don't have to toast my bread" thing is revolutionary. I will say it was just a bit sandy in texture but I only noticed it because I was looking for it. This bread is the real deal!

Test number 2: cold picnic sandwich - verdict PASSED

Next up: hamburger buns

So just as a point of information, there are only four buns per package. This is pretty par for the course for gluten-free items but just wanted to make sure you know. My first impression they were soft and airy. They smelled and looked like 'real' buns. So far so good and then we hit a problem! They aren't cut! They are not pre-sliced. Honestly that would have been the nail in the coffin but, and this is a big but, they tasted fantastic! Straight from the package to my burger, no toaster, and it tasted like a good 'real' buns! No texture issue, no grainy sandy feel, just a good bun. It also didn't fall apart like the untoasted Udi's buns. DH seemed to feel that they might be too airy but I didn't have that issue.

We tried them again two days later. I had left them in the car but I sealed them pretty well. This time they still tasted good but I did notice a little bit of a sandy feel at the end. Again, no toasting just straight from the package. I thought that was pretty normal since 'real' buns tend to change if left in the car open too.

Test 3: Hamburger buns - verdict PASSED

Last up Multigrain bread

I was hungry and wanted toast. The only thing I had was the multigrain in the freezer. Perfect timing for me. I grabbed two slices from the freezer and into the toaster they went. I like a medium toast and on my toaster that is a four. I thought I would have to put it through twice since it was straight from the freezer. No need. Once my toast popped up, I added butter and jelly and I was in heaven. Before going wheat-free I use to eat the 7-grain bread from Petridge Farms and honestly, I had to do a double take. I could not believe it was gluten-free bread. It tasted great, had a great texture and just made me happy.

Test 4: multi-grain bread - verdict PASSED

I have some Udi's in the freezer and unfortunately it is the easiest to find around here but after this I'm going to be a thorn in the side of my local grocer until they carry the new Kinnickinnick line. Forget what you know about gluten-free bread. Forget what you had with the old Kinnickinnick line. March down to you grocer and demand this bread.

Disclosure: I approached both Udi's and Kinnickinnick for samples. I purchased my own Udi's and have eaten for many months. Kinnickinnick did provide me with a starter package of their new bread line. I have not received any money for my review.

Giveaway Time: I'm using Rafflecopper so it should be very self explanatory. Winner will be required to provide address, sorry no PO Boxes, and phone number. Open to US and Canada.

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GF Expo - Outrageous Baking

So the first people I want to tell you about are Outrageous Baking out of Boulder CO.  They were at the very back of the expo and they were mobbed.  To be honest I had never heard of them before seeing them at the expo so see this is why I think that expo is well worth it.

So who is Outrageous? They are a dedicated wheat/gluten/soy/dairy free bakery.  I was very surprised by how good the samples tasted.  I has skipped them at first but DH insisted that I had to try them and that we were buying something.  Thank you DH for dragging me back there. 

I tried their Chocolate Zucchini bread and I have to admit I was not loving it.  It seems a little fudge-y to me.  I don't like fudge.  I wasn't sold and was ready to move on and then DH shoved Lemon Poppy Seed in my mouth and I suddenly forgot I was eating gluten-free.  If you are gluten-free then you know that is no small feat.  We bought one loaf and got handed a slice of pumpkin bread for later too. 

I was so excited.  I had to slap my own hand from opening up the fresh Lemon Poppy Seed and eating it right then and there.  We did manage to save it for the next day but it didn't last past Sunday.  The poor delicious little loaf was devoured.  How could we resist?  The pumpkin bread was very good too.  Ravebaby stole my half but of what I got I will say it tasted like fall in the Piedmont.  It was really good.

Follow them on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OutrageousBakingCompany (I've heard they'll be posting coupon codes!)
Follow them on twitter: https://twitter.com/OBGFBaking

Tell them that I sent you but they have no clue who I am so it really doesn't matter.  Seriously, they are worth the price.  Why couldn't they be based in Lufkin?  Oh well such is life of a small town Wheatless Mama.

Disclaimer:  I was given a free slice of Pumpkin Bread but I paid for the Lemon Poppy Seed bread loaf.  I was not given anything money or more free bread for this review.  Outrageous Baking is great!  I'm waiting for the next payday to order more.  Shipping is a killer but for them I'll willing.

Random recipe: glutenfree cheesecake

So this cheesecake is the result of my need for cheesecake and my random trying of various recipes I have found on-line. It combines two different recipes all while making it my own. Things to note: read the ingredients on all of your items to make sure there is no gluten in them and if at first you don't succeed, you still have a decent enough cheesecake so enjoy. :)

Preheat oven to 325.  You'll need a 10-inch springform pan.

Crust:
1 box Betty Crocker Gluten-free Yellow Cake Mix
1/2 cup butter softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
1 teaspoon cinnamon (I love cinnamon so I try it in everything, so it makes more like a Snickerdoodle crust)

Mix everything in a bowl until a soft dough forms. mold into your 10-inch springform pan. Go up about an inch or go all the way up and have an extra bit of cookie crust.  Now time to make filling.

Filling:
3 packages of 8oz cream cheese, softened
1 & 1/4 cups sugar (regular stuff)
2 teaspoons vanilla
4 eggs

Beat cream cheese and sugar together on slow until blended.  Beat in vanilla and eggs one at a time.  Pour into crust.  Bake for about 65 - 75 mins until puffy and light golden brown.  Let cool and enjoy!

I think the hardest part is the crust.  The dough doesn't always want to stick to the pan or will try to fall apart.  It's gluten-free so keep in mind it's not exactly like 'regular' cookie dough.  Play with the recipe.  Add chocolate, avoid the cinnamon, but most importantly enjoy.  I've made this three times and each time it goes faster than the first.

Wheat challenge - Round 2

So Audrey's birthday is in 6 days! So hard to believe I'll have a 2 year old in less than a week. But this leads us to wheat challenge - round 2. Audrey's allergist suggested we challenge the wheat-free diet around Audrey's 2nd birthday. I guess 2 is the magic allergy number. So we decided to head to Olive Garden and order whatever we wanted!

I was excited. Order anything! Eat a breadstick! Not worry about what I"m eating, sign me back up for that life. I wish it was that easy. Having been strictly wheat-free for almost 2 years, plus off an on for 6 years prior, it's hard to go back to eating without worry. I don't know why I thought I would go back to old me in one trip to the Olive Garden. I still asked for the gluten-free menu. I wish they had an ingredients list. We do eat gluten-free since it makes life easier but strictly speaking we're wheat-free. Having something with a little MSG don't kill us so if the ingredients are clear of wheat we eat it. The Olive Garden's gluten-free menu is small and they have one penne pasta that is gluten-free. But I'm sure they have other things that are wheat-free that we can probably eat.

Anyways, we were going with a challenge so I start looking at the regular menu. What to have, what to have? Alfredo? Eggplant parm? Nope I start looking at Herb Salmon. Yep, even in my eat anything I'm still going toward the gluten-free stuff. I finally decided on the Chianti braised short-ribs. Not gluten-free but not pasta either. It comes with risotto. Where the gluten is in the dish I know not. We also ordered calamari. Audrey got a children's gluten-free penne with marinara. We didn't want to push her too much.

I got a bite of calamari. Strangely it wasn't as good as I remembered. I got a bite of breadstick. So disappointed. Why had I been pining for this stuff? Did we hit the Olive Garden on a bad day? I think DH said it best. "You're just a wheat-free girl now!" Laughing with glee. Evil wheat-allergic man! I did get mad. I don't like the food anymore. I didn't want the breadstick; I wanted a piece of Udi's with garlic butter. The calamari was just sad. My ribs were good. I guess the wheat is in the "gravy." Audrey ate some calamari, a bite of DH's spaghetti and lots of penne. Later that night we let her have a bite of "real" brownie. We had a wheat-filled day! or what we think of as a wheat-filled day.

So last night, 3 am, Audrey is crying. She's passing gas like crazy. She's rolling around unable to get comfy. Guess what, the kid is still allergic to wheat! She kept nursing but since I had had wheat she was just pouring more allergens into her system. Today she is all broken out. I think we can call this done. Audrey has a wheat allergy. Is it deadly? Thankfully no. If she decides to eat a piece of regular pizza, I won't panic. I don't be taking her to Mikey Dee's anytime soon but I think I can let go of some of the panic I've had in the past.

As for me, I am realizing that wheat-free isn't a diet or a change for now but a change for life. I'm learning to bake wheat-free. I"m longing for my food past less and less. I'm finding that "bread" doesn't appeal to me like it use to.

Wheat-free not Calorie-free

Okay so the number one thing I hear about going wheat-free is "Wow, I hear you can lose a lot of weight doing that."  I guess people just want to be positive; you know find the silver lining.  I think it doesn't help that I've lost about 30 lbs since I went wheat-free. But the research actual shows that usually people that go wheat-free/gluten-free gain weight.

So why the gaining of weight?  I think it comes down to this: wheat-free is not calorie-free.  People are always looking for the easy fix, which means buying things labeled wheat-free and stuffing your face til you are so full you can walk.  What's wrong with this approach?  Well it is wheat-free but not calorie-free so you are still overeating and not exercising so you gain weight.  Processed food is processed food so you get calories from the sugar and the other stuff in the food.

I think the only reason I lost weight is that instead of buying lots of replacement gluten-free versions of processed foods I was eating homemade items and lots of fresh fruits and veggies.  Basically I was eating healthy without wheat.  It's only been in the last few months that I've been buying gluten-free bread, muffins and cake.  Weight loss has stopped since I discovered processed gluten-free food.  I make this wonderful fat-fill wheat-free cakes and stuff my face.  Not going to loss weight by eating chocolate cake, even if it wheat-free.  So in closing, wheat-free is not calorie-free.  Even we wheat-free peeps have to watch the calorie counts and use portion control.  Just because my Carl's Jr burger is half the calories since it has no bun does not mean I should eat 2 to make up for it.  Maybe I'll try the tofu noddles, I hear those are wheat-free and almost calorie free too but they are pretty price so we'll see.

Wheatfree Chocolate Cake, my downfall

Random Recipe: Wheat-free Cinnamon Pecan Pancakes

So I'm starting to get more adventurous with my cooking.  I'm a follow the recipe kind of person but I'm trying to adapt my old recipes for wheat-filled things for my new wheat-free life.  I'll be posting my experiements, successes and failures.  We learn from everything so we'll see how much I learn :)

I have always loved pecan pancakes.  So I dusted off the recipe and gave them a wheatless whirl.  Word of caution, I'm labeling things wheat-less not gluten-free because I live in a mixed house.  Cross contamination heaven to say the least.  Besides I read labels and look for wheat not gluten so read your labels!

Martha's Wheatless Cinnamon Pecan Pancakes
2 cups Bisquick Gluten-free Mix
2 cups Whole Milk
2 eggs
4 Tablespoons vegetable oil
3 teaspoons Cinnamon
1 teaspoon Nutmeg
3 handfuls of pecans chopped via food processor

Mix.  I added the pecans last but I don't think order really matters.  Cook and serve.
This yielded about 14 pancakes.

I put lots of butter and syrup.  I would post a pic but I was lucky to get any to eat so forget the pics.  My personal feelings where they were great but next time I will add a bit of sugar and a dash of vanilla.  My dad and DH both said for me to cut the pecans out.  My mom enjoyed them plain with nothing but a bit of butter and normally she hates pancakes.  So that's the skinny on the pancakes.  Let me know if there are tweeks or suggestions to make them better.

Wheat filled panic

Last Friday I had a moment of panic followed by a moment of being overwhelmed.  We were at the indoor playarea at the mall.  Since Audrey doesn't go to daycare I try to take her places where she can meet other children and play and with the Texas heat it needs to be indoors.  She loves the slide in the area and just climbs and slides, climbs and slides.  Love to hear go "WWEEEEEEEE" during each slide and of course the instant clapping and fit of giggles. 

So the panic was this, there is a TV area where Audrey likes to see and watch herself on camera.  I noticed and then she noticed that there was something orangy on the floor next to her.  First thought in my head "goldfish."  I instantly grabbed it to make sure she didn't pop it in her mouth.  Now how long this orangy thing had been there I have no clue.  It was a top, no wheat but nothing something that any child should be eating.  I panicked; I dashed; I tried to make sure my baby would be okay.  After a moment of relief, I just had a moment of being overwhelmed with the whole allergy thing.  I hated that I was so worried.  I hated that no other parent had freaked out and grabbed this thing.  I hated that it felt so unfair.  I should have worried that she would choke on a piece of plastic not that she would eat a damn goldfish.  I hated the whole situation.

After my little pity party, I got some clarity and then later a true reality check.  I mean I am so lucky.  Audrey's allergy isn't going to kill her.  There are so many moms that have to deal with deadly allergies and all I have to worry about is a horrible stomach ache and broken out skin.  But it is a big deal to me.  I don't want my daughter to hurt.  If I can prevent the pain then I try to.  Later that night on the way home we got milkshakes.  No big deal, right?  Well Audrey and DH both spent the night in agony.  So there I had been worried about a goldfish and the turned around and fed her wheat anyways.  I didn't even think to ask about the milkshake base.  Yeah, I worry and things still get by me.  I guess you can say I'm still learning the ropes.

1 year wheatfree

So Audrey and I are celebrating our one year anniversary of being totally wheat free.  Which means it's been a year since Audrey was released from the hospital for a UTI.  While the doctor never said so (since she's a twit and doesn't believe in the food/body connection) I totally believe it was our eating wheat like it was going out of style for the two months prior that lead to the UTI. 

To be honest, I had been ignoring the signs of her allergy.  The broken out skin, the gas, the night fits, I had my head in the sand.  Thinking back now, I don't know why or how I could do that.  I was upset about the move and all I wanted to was feel normal to eat like a normal person.  So I did.  So we did.  So Audrey paid for it.  All my fault.

Once we brought our baby home I went totally wheat-free.  With the exception of communion each Sunday, I've had no wheat for the last year.  I do miss wheat.  There are times I watch people eat doughtnuts or hamburgers and think man I really want to eat one.  Just one bite can't hurt.  But it does so I don't. 

I got a Facebook comment from a momma who is going gluten-free for her child.  I could hear the stress in her comment and it made me realize that I don't talk too much about my wheatless life, anymore.  Once I came to see it as my normal, once I stopped fighting it, I just stopped talking about it.  I'll try to remember to talk about the struggles.  To remember that helplessness I felt when I first when wheatfree and the joy/calm that still comes over me when I meet other wheatless folk.  So I'll try to share tips and reviews and the such. 

So tip number 1, if you have just gone wheatless/gluten-free know that you are not alone.  Know you can do it.  Know that it is okay to morn the loss of wheat.