Monday, November 16, 2015


I haven't written since I took my new job since one there isn't really time and it is difficult to know what is safe to discuss in a public arena.  This incident just has me shaken and I need somewhere to talk it out so to my trusty blog I go.

One Friday I was honored to be asked to speak on a Graduate Student panel to help undergraduate honor student think about their futures.  I took the time to try and catch up on schoolwork which has gone by the way side since I went back to work full-time.

As I was leaving I decided to thank the professor who had invited me and in general check-in since it had been about 6 months since I had seen him last.  In the course of conversation I was told that I poisoned his class.  I was blamed for the lack of A's.  Seriously!  He looked me dead in the face and called me poison.  I did try and argue and back him off the whole idea but still it out there.  I am poison.

I went home and told DH all about it.  Here is the worse part, DH agreed!  He agrees I poisoned the class.  Words have currency and the choice of poison was like a dagger to my ego.  I'm a nice person.  I'm easy to get along with (usually).  But now I just keep hearing that I'm poison.

After thinking it over for 24 hours and still being bother by it, I talked it out with DH some more.  He still thinks I was poison in that class but he made an interesting point.  Why the hell to do I care?  That was over 6 months ago and my grade ain't changing so what is done is done.  According to DH the reason I can't let it go has to do with the who said it rather than the content of what was said.

 I think he is right, of course.  I've been called much worse than poison so why does this one interaction bother me.  I think it felt out of the blue and mean-spirited.  The word was chosen to hurt me.  Six month and the best word the PHD could find was poison!  I thought he thought better of me.  Instead he seems to hate me.  Okay, I guess I'll file that in my trashcan and move on.