SoDH hang with an interesting group of people. It started with a coffeeshop and a high school connection and now is a group of friends I look forward to seeing. As part of this little group we usually have weekly topics during which we discuss everything from politics, to sex, to Jesus and his love. These are lots of fun and while as a group looks as different as possible, we share some similar views.
I missed this weeks talk, after Thanksgiving I was just too exhausted. DH told me that the topic was group dynamics. One of the things about this group is we just came together. No written rules just implied trust. As part of the trust is an understanding that we all still have our dark sides and that as needed we open up and close up.
Everyone has a dark side. Everyone has this things/events that they keep in the dark corners of their mind. This group is far from dark. Actually it seems we all are working hard to live for today and to just be happy. We also understand that our dark sides are part of us. Not that we celebrate those sides but we know we are these wonderful people because we have all survived something, someone, some event.
Are my secrets safe with these people? Only time will tell. How much of me will I honestly show? Hard to say. We all have dark corners. We all need to have people around us that understand that they don't need to know those corners just accept us for everything we are and don't require anything but openness.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Dark side of the moon or in this case momma
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Do your bones remember?
I asked DH on Wednesday if he thought "our bones remember?". Why the question? Wednesday made 26 years since my grandfather, Matilde, passed away. Most years it goes by without coming to the fore front of my mind. This year, since I am working at the church and I can request masses to be said, I looked up his death date and requested a mass. However, this year like the last 25 before it, my father couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, was more withdrawn, was all but silent. This happens every year. He doesn't say it. I don't think he goes through it consciously. it seems to me to be in his bones. His spirit knows and his spirit mourns the loss of his dad.
In high school DH and I had this fantastic biology teacher who was missing a couple of finger tips. I remember him talking about how those tips would itch. It was the worse itch ever because it was the only one he would never be able to scratch. Even after 20+ years his body remembered those finger tips and still felt them.
Maybe we all do that. Maybe those days are bad days not because of what is going on right now but because of something our bones remember. It's not something in our fore-mind. We don't think about it. We feel it. We feel it deep inside.
