Mamavation Monday: joining a sisterhood

So I have recently heard of a great place called Mamavation. It's a space for moms to help each and motivate each other to become healthier! As you know since last Feburary, I have been on a personal challenge to become healthier. It started with wanting to run a 5k before I turned 33. I met my goal, one week before my 33rd birthday I ran my first 5k. I was only 30 secs or so over my goal time of 36 mins.

This is where I journey starts but to be honest I've been slacking. I am still all wheatfree but I have stopped running. The reasons why I stopped running are two fold. One I stopped because I got sick then I seem to lose motivation to start running again. Then I started again but got refocused on trying to build strength and get rid of the batwings. I was doing great. I went from zero girl push ups to being able to being able to do 5 standard "man" push ups. I was happy and sweating and working out with DH. Then the holidays and sickness struck again.

Today I am getting off my butt and jumping back in. So that is the purpose of this post. I need to be accountable. I need a kick in the ass. I am about to hit the hardest part of the year. I have Ravebaby's birthday next Monday and then Christmas, followed by DH's birthday and our 11 year wedding anniversary and close on the heels New Years. I don't want to make a New Years resolution. I want to make a lifetime commitment. I want to join the Sistahood of Mamavation.

Music Monday: Galaxy Express

Today's music is straight from Korea via The Factory here in Lufkin: GALAXY EXPRESS. Ravebaby and I had the pleasure of seeing Galaxy Express live back in March. This video is a promo/preview of the documentary they filmed on that tour. If you look close enough you'll catch a glimpse of Max from Social Bliss in the video. I have no clue what the song is about but the passion is enough to nearly have me in tears. This video shows the softer side of Galaxy Express. They rock hard and their shows rock even harder! Look them up YouTube. I love Naughty Boy. I can almost sing the whole thing. I have no clue what I am saying but I love the song.

Brown Armor

I am Mexican. I look Mexican. I speak Spanish. I can tell you where in Mexico my parents grew up. I know when people see me they see a Mexican woman. I have brown armor. When you see me you have an image of me, my beliefs, and my experience.

What about people who don't look Mexican? What about people without armor? Until last night I don't think I have really thought about it. My brown skin is protection. People see me and will hold their tongue or rethink their words or purposefully attack. Wen your outside does not match your inside, people think they are among friends and don't realize the enemy in front of them. If you are friend I can be me. If you are foe I must be guarded me.

As advanced as we are we see with our eyes and we judge. Even though Mexicans come in all colors, shades, shapes, sizes, and even races, people see me and think Mexican and see Ravebaby and think Black or maybe Dominican. For better or worse we see and we judge. So my brown armor is protection.

It's funny, not haha funny, that because I am brown it is much easier for people to believe I am the cleaning lady than the boss. People will look at me and tell me to go clean the bathroom and to point them to the librarian. Funny. If I speak Spanish then I must be a wetback and an illegal. If I speak English then I am a traitor. I often describe myself as a Wetback American. People see me and want to see the worst stereotype. Mexicans are nannies not CEOs. Mexicans teach Spanish not History. Mexicans steal the books not run the library. So my brown armor is a curse too.

People cannot easily the soul. I have a friend, actually a few, who have Mexican souls. They don't have brown armor. People are honest with them about their views of Mexican never realizing that they are sharing their truth with the enemy. I am jealous of this superpower. My friends can hide in plain sight. People are honest with them. People struggle to be honest with me. People will tolerate me while thinking that my place is in the kitchen. I am brown so they hide. But they don't hide from my friends. My friends can help move me in the safe circle. My friends can help me change minds. My friends know the truth.

I am rambling. I know I am but my mind is rambling. I don't know how to help someone make their outside reflect their insides. To be honest I have no clue why they would want to. Brown armor is a double edge sword. It helps and it hurts. It is protection but limits mobility. It allows the enemy to hide while forcing me to be in the open. Ramble ramble ramble . . .