Happy Birthday Ravebaby!

Today is Ravebaby's 3rd birthday.  I don't know were the time has gone!  Today also marks 36 months a breastfeeding for Ravebaby and me.  She's not ready to stop.  Not sure how much longer I am willing to go but we'll just see.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEBABY!

Mamavation Monday: The Scale

So I don't own a scale.  I honestly have zero clue how much I currently weight.  I decided to toss the lbs number when my weight didn't change after 4 months of training for a 5k.  How in the world did I not lose a single pound when I went from zero exercise to running or training to run a 5k?  No diet changes for the good or bad.  Just added running every other day per my C25k training plan.

DH would roll his eyes everytime I would mention my lack of weight loss.  To his credit he would point out that he could tell my body was changing.  He could see me getting smaller.  I could see me getting smaller.  Why isn't the scale changing?  Since DH is a physicist, his response was very scientific, it is just the pull of gravity.

Why do I care how gravity pulls on me?  Maybe the Earth is just hugging me close :)  So I have not weighted myself in months.  My best guess is about 210.  Some people might wonder why I am sharing such a large number.  Well I am not ashamed.  It is just a number.  I am still a wonderful wife, mother, & friend.  So if you want to send some cute and sexy big girl clothes my way, size 14, go right ahead.  I am fabulous no matter what I weight!  And I'll let you in on a secret, you are too!

 This post is sponsored Dole and Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway

Guilt, tragedy, and birthdays

It feels so silly to have had a birthday party yesterday. Ravebaby will be 3 tomorrow but in light of Friday's events, I honestly felt guilty. Guilty because my daughter will be turning 3 tomorrow. I can celebrate and hug her and kiss her.

I try to live my life so that people know that I acknowledge them as people and that I respect our connection in the circle of life. I want to believe we all matter in each other's lives and Friday there was a huge disturbance in the force. I read another bloggers post about Friday and I think he out it beautifully. I don't want to see those faces, parents, children, victims, because I can't deal with the loss. The world has changed. Lights have gone out. The future is different. It is not just the lights of the children but of the parents.

Just thinking of losing Ravebaby puts such sadness in my heart that I just can image. I feel guilty for wanting to avoid it all. I want to make sure that I am giving my time and energy to Ravebaby and DH. We are all on limited time. The guilt of taking it for granted. The guilt of celebrating that it was not my kid. The guilt of feeling helpless. The guilt of knowing I am far from helpless.