The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Martha

So I see myself as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man, you know from Ghostbusters.  Besides sounding crazy by admitting to this feeling, I find it also limits me in the things that I do.  I'm always afraid of taking too much room.  I worry about not having enough clearance to move around people.  This is become a painfully obvious problem in roller derby.

Roller derby requires that I am in tune with my body.  I have to know exactly where my hips are, my feet, my arms, like every part of me has to be in place or injuries and penalties will abound.  The problem is that I believe that my hips are huge.  I believe that my ass is so massive that I need extra clearance room.  If I give the room to my body that believe it needs then the jammer is going to get by me.  I'm going to try to block someone and they are going to skate right around me.  How do I move my brain past the feeling of being massive and into the reality of the situation?  The fact is I'm not that damn big!  I'm 5'4", about 230 lbs, and wear at size 14/16.  I'm just not Stay-Puft big!

I can't exactly put my finger on the when I got massive in my own mind.  Maybe it was the usually grade school teasing that made me balloon in my own head.  Being told I was super huge til the point that I believed it and made it my reality.  Just today I was walking from picking up lunch and some guy, like 20 or so, said "Hey I like your dress."  I totally ignored him.  I figured he was just trying to stop me long enough to make some joke at my expense.  What is he just liked my dress?  Anyways, at some point I will have to some to terms with my body in its real existence otherwise I'll never pass minimum skills.

Roller derby makes me see myself as strong.  Roller derby makes me push myself.  Can roller derby get me over my body image issues?  I guess only time will tell.  I can't do a proper hip check if I don't know where my hips are so I better get to knowing my body!

Random #RollerDerby Craft: Team #CrossStitch

I have another roller derby craft ready! This one took forever!

You can't tell in the picture but the star and pivot stripe both have iridescent white floss.  It was a pain to work with and I don't think it shows up too well but the whole then felt incomplete without  something in the star and stripe.

As always you are welcome to download and make the pattern: Roller Derby Team.  Here is the link to the PDF: Roller Derby Team PDF.  The star is black but the pivot stripe is blank.  Play with colors and adapt as needed.  It's free so that all crafty derby girls can make cool crafty stuff! 

Any questions or suggestions drop me a line martha (at) wheatlessmama (dot) com

All I want for Christmas list 2014

For the last two years I've posted something I want for Christmas starting Dec 1 until Dec 24. I do it for a couple of reasons, when you have to write down what you want I think the universe tends to help focus energy in that direction, I find myself being more grateful for what I do have since I usually struggle to find something different that I want for each day, and people say I'm hard to shop for so I'm giving a concrete list of stuff that can be given to me. For the record, I'm not difficult to shop for, I'm not romantic or taken in by stuff. I want something practical or something that you can't usually buy. Anyways here was this year's list along with a note if I actually got it or not. Day 1: Grippy Socks (I found my old ones so that totally counts) Day 2: Over the Knee Socks that actually fit Day 3: New speed skates Day 4: Triple 8's knee pads (I actually got a great deal on some 187's so totally the same thing) Day 5: GymGirl's presents to be here on time (they were!) Day 6: Good Chai Tea Day 7: Master my crossovers (I doing the crossovers in motion not quite mastered but getting there) Day 8: Black knit pencil skirt Day 9: DerbySkinz Day 10: New Car Stereo Day 11: Nike fuel band or a FitBit or something similar Day 12: New wasp corset (DH got me two for Christmas day!) Day 13: New Brown Boots Day 14: Decorate the Hello Kitty cake with crussing (I did it but it was difficult) Day 15: Gluten-free Tiramisu Day 16: Havana Nights dress from Pin-up Girl Clothing Day 17: Cute printed leggings Day 18: Acupuncture Day 19: Silvery hoop earnings (for clarification, not real silver but silver-colored) Day 20: Warm hugs (I've received a few) Day 21: Sushi Day 22/23: New shoes Day 24: My voice (still not back, this is day 6 without it) So out of 24 wishes, 7 are done and the rest are in motion. Yes, I could put peace on Earth or good health but that just isn't as fun. I spend all of November posting what I'm thankful for so why not be more or less an ass leading up to December. Really stuff is the point of Christmas for most people. I don't really want stuff. People ask so here is a list. I could fill it with wishes for things like hugs but people don't like to work that hard.