Last night Red Shoe P$&@? played our first show. I was okay until I started playing. I felt so naked. I was scared and shaking. I missed serval notes on 7 nation Army but managed to calm myself enough to play the rest of the show pretty mistake free. I even managed to keep my cool enough during Cherrybomb to look up at the crowd. I am not going to lie, I was shaking for the rest of the night.
Rockerwife, my bandmate and soul sister, loved it. Her nerves calmed down once the music started! I think it helped that she was behind a drum kit so there was less nakedness. She did great! We already have our next gig lined up! Hard to believe we have only been playing for 6 months. We're going to try to work out a new song before the next gig and I am really looking forward to starting a new song. I am not sure that I am ready to jump on stage again but I also know that if I don't I won't so on to The Second Annual This Won't Suck in Shreveport next month.
So the last two months or so a Facebook post on hugging has been making the rounds. I have seen it attributed to the Dalai Lama but who knows where is comes from but here is a version of it:
Anyways this has brought to mind the whole idea of hugging. Being Mexican hugging is pretty normal. We hug we give cheek kisses in general most Mexicans are very outwardly affectionate. Being married to a black man, I have come to expect and enjoy the super hugs I receive from people who are total strangers to me but family via my husband. I am from a family of hugs. We love them and give them freely with each other.
I have many friends that are not from the same hugging affectionate crowd. With them it is difficult to hug. It is difficult to trust that when going in for a hug I won't be rejected. I guess really comes to the heart of the matter: trust. While yes Jesus was betrayed by a hug and a kiss, you have to have a certain openness or trust with someone to go in for the hug. Trust that I am not invading your space but that I am welcomed into it.
How hard is it to hug someone you don't know? Honestly I find it pretty easy. I find it harder to hug someone I know. If I "know" you in theory I trust you and in theory it should be easy but it also means that I know you are not a huggy person. I know that a hug is an invasion to you no matter who does the hugging. I can't hug you without making you feel uncomfortable and that makes me uncomfortable. Hugs are an expression of affection, of love, or caring and of accepting.
So with all of that in mind I threw down a personal challenge to hug my Archnemises. He is not from a hugging family. High fives and handshakes but no hugs. This was a true challenge for both of us. It is weird to hug a mirror. Anyways, I threw down my challenge on Monday and by Friday it was time to put up or shut up. To make matters stranger, Archnemises was deathly ill so great bring on the germs. We did hug. It was strange. It wasn't the warmest hug ever but thawing takes heat.
I think hugging is going to become part of the coffee crew greeting. The crew is not much for hugging and I think it speaks to a lack of trust. Maybe its is because we are all so hot that we worry that we'll just start making out mid-hug but I have a solution for that! The good ol' Christian side hug! No genitals near each other but still warm and friendly :) Anyways, I did hug Archnemises on Monday and it was not as frosty. See progress made!
Anyways, embrace people. If the hugging rule is true, we all need hugs. We all need to feel invited, accepted, and loved. If I can hug my archnemises, then surely we can all grow instead of just survive.
