So today Audrey feel asleep on my chest. It always reminds me of Audrey's first nap. It makes me miss my baby.
Audrey doesn't let me hold her to rock her to sleep anymore. She'll nurse and then roll her back to me. She prefers to sleep in her sidecar.
I will never forget the sweetest moment of my life: Audrey's first nap. It was two hours post partum. Debbie, my midwife, had cleaned me up and with Ray's help put me in bed. They handed my Audrey to me and we got comfortable. She relaxed and fell asleep. I had a moment before I fell asleep were I felt peaceful, whole, beautiful and that everything was right in the world. I will carry that moment with me always.
Everything she goes to sleep on my chest, I breath her in deep and I go back in time. She was new and I was new to motherhood. We had just had life transforming moments. We had worked together and now we were resting together. She hadn't been given a bath yet so she still smelled of amniotic fluid. I hadn't taken a bath yet so I had the smell of amniotic fluid on me. It was perfect. We were perfect.