Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Defining Family

Last week I had pick up my nephew, well maybe I should say DH's nephew. So that in itself is the whole point of this post. I don't think in terms of his and mine. DH has 3 nieces and one nephew. I have 3 nieces and a nephew. We have been together for 17 years and none of the nieces or nephews were around til after we had been together so they have all always had the both of us. We don't think about them as belonging more to one of us. They are are family. That is how we see it.

So back to picking up my nephew, Ravebaby and Spongebob are both in the same gymnastics class and they love being in the same class. As part of getting them in the same class, I agreed to pick up Spongebob as needed. Last week was the first time I had to pick him up from school instead from my mother-in-laws house. I figured I would have to show ID. I figured I would have to be on his pickup list. My SIL did not have me on her list so they made a huge fuss about calling her and copying my ID. I didn't really think too much about it until I talked to my SIL later. They had never done that before. Never had they questioned a person picking up her child. Then my SIL reminded me why they questioned me, I am not black.

Funny how I had forgotten that. Funny that to me the family connection is obvious. I had Ravebaby with me. I had a half-black kid with me and my last name is the same as Spongebob but I'm not black so how can it really be okay for me to pick him up? I totally forgot.

People want things to work they way they think they should work. Black with black, white with white, Mexican with Mexican or at least Latin of some sort. It's not that they view it as bad just not their everyday. Maybe they talked about me and my family after we left, "Spongebob's aunt it Mexican, ewww.". I don't know. I don't care. He is my nephew and your suspicious mind is going to make us late for gymnastics, let's go lady!

I guess DH would have the same trouble if he had to pick up one of "my" nieces or nephew. I know people want a designation. They want a box to check. People want to know am I talking about the black ones or the Mexican ones. Sorry, we are just a family. Assume what you will just remember that assuming makes an ass out of you and me.