Thursday, July 10, 2014

Strike a pose(r)

So the discussion of what it means to be a poser has been swirling around me as of late.  I think it mostly has to do with the idea of being authentic.  If you are living your most authentic life then you don't have a time/need to pose as something you are not.  However, if you have never had a "Come to Jesus" talk with yourself then how in the hell do you ever stop posing your life away?

As part of my doctoral journey, I've had to come face to face with some painful truths about myself.  I've had to face fears and grow.  (I don't like the work change, I prefer to grow like a seed.)  I am noticing that many people in my cohort seem to resist growth or at least in calling a spade a spade.  I don't tend to use a filter and I speak pretty bluntly.  I think many people find me short and cutting but I just don't see the need to bs people.

Anyways, so back to posing.  How do you know you are a poser?  I mean if you live your life as a hipster what defines you as a hipster instead of a hipster poser?  I'm using hipster since according to DH, I am a hipster.  This goes to the whole idea of identity.  I don't identify as a hipster.  I really do prefer pop music with an edge of alternative music.  I prefer to homeschool/unschool my child.  I shop at goodwill because I'm poor not trendy.  I drink my coffee at an independent coffeehouse because my husband owns one.  I'm gluten-free because my DD and DH are both allergic to wheat.  I don't live a hipster lifestyle in my opinion but if I look up "Hipster-subculture" you might as well put my picture there.  So am I poser without even realizing it?  Is it possible to be viewed as a poser without even noticing since you are just being your authentic self?

Why the need for labels?  Is it an American thing?  Do other cultures require labels?  In Mexico you are poor or rich.  I don't know that outside of social status there are many other labels.

Why pose?  Why hide under the clothes of another person?  How do you expand your mind without the wearing the clothes of posing at some point?  Is posing bad?

I think as some point we all pose.  I think of myself in school.  I posed as the all-american girl trying hard not to be Mexican, like I could ever out run it.  Once I had my "Come to Jesus" talk with myself about my identity I started embracing my Mexican-ness and I can breath better.  I don't understand posing as a life-style choice (well as an all-life encompassing life-style choice).  Don't it weight you down to carry so many lies?  Don't you get tried of running from yourself?  Does digging deep into your pain really scare you to the point you would rather die as any person but yourself?