Thursday, October 16, 2014

When are you going to have another baby?

So I'm 35 and have one child.  No this was not my plan.  I had planned to have 4 kids and I would have been done having them last year.  Some how my plans did not get properly transmitted to the Big Guy Upstairs and my plans didn't come to pass.  I'm getting good with it.  I'm not totally good with it but I'm getting there.

I get asked the dreaded question, when are you going to have another one?, and I'm getting tired of answering it.  Why do people care about the status of my uterus?  Have I screwed up so badly with GymGirl that they are trying to see if I'll do better next time?  Why do people ask?

As far as I can see GymGirl will be an only child.  So not my plan!  I know I'm in good company with other fabulous mothers who only have one child.  But yes it hurts to think I'm done at one.  We've been trying for a while and nothing.  I'm pretty sure I've had at least one very early miscarriage but otherwise no baby.

I don't want to tell random people my uterus business.  Why do random people ask?  Seriously you just met me and you want to know when I'm having another one.  Why do people bypass me and ask my daughter if she wants a baby brother or sister?  Like this isn't hard enough without extra pressure of a child asking for you to reproduce.

I'm no where near out of options.  We haven't been to a specialist.  We have even put a baby to the back burner until after I become Dr. Wheatless Mama.  I'm 35 and healthy.  In my family babies after 40 are pretty common.  If a baby is in my future still then I'll happily embrace that future but if I'm one and done then I'm getting good with that too.

Being Catholic the implication to only one child is that I'm using artificial birth control.  People have a hard time believing that some women, Mexican women in particular, have a hard time getting pregnant.  I use NFP, Natural Family Planning.  We have since we got married and God's plan so far is for us to have only one child. 

I am running out of patience and not super personal answers.  I don't want to lie or be rude but seriously what the hell kind of answer do you expect?  Like I'm going to announce to a perfect stranger that actually I'm pregnant now but we haven't told anyone.  What exactly do people want to know when they ask that question?  Anyways this was mostly a rant.  Moving on . . .