Well, as it turns out I might be crunchy after all. I was recently reading a discussion on Mybestbirth.com about whether or not a person who has a homebirth is crunchy or a hippie. I had honestly never thought about myself as a hippie until that thread.
What exactly is a hippie? I mean when I think of a hippie I think of unwashed masses at Woodstock, I know I'm not that. But at the same time, I did have my baby at home by candlelight, I drive a Prius, I wear my baby rather than use a stroller, I also like granola. Do these things make me a hippie?
I guess if thinking rather than following the mainstream blindly makes me a hippie than maybe I now have an excuse to give up shaving. It would save me so much time in the shower! Or do hippie not shower either? Any ways, yes I think for myself. Yes, I have given the medical establishment the finger on occasion, like having my baby at home and refusing to follow their vaccination schedule. Yes I proudly drive a Prius. Yes, I wear my baby. Just call me Miss Granola Sunshine and maybe don't stand so close in case I decided to be a super hippie that day.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
No longer waiting
Well it's been awhile since I blogged; that is because our daughter Audrey was born on Dec 17th! Motherhood is wonderful and exhausting. It's everything people tell you but so much more than you can ever image. It has been the hardest job I've ever had.
I don't think anything could have prepared me for motherhood. I would say that Audrey is a very spirited child. She has a strong will and looks like the both of us. I thought she would have looked more like one of us but she is a true mix.
We have had so much happen since Audrey was born. We've had a fire, a trip to the NICU, another 4 days in the local hospital, sewer issues, the list just goes on but strangely, just looking at Audrey makes it all worth it. I think I've worried that all the problems have meant Audrey is being short changed. That maybe the stresses we have been feeling have been bad for her but she is growing and seems happy.
I think the number one lesson I've learned in the last 7 weeks is that God is in control and giving over the control is the only way to survive the ride. I had to give into the pain during childbirth and I've had to trust that the "problems" are just small bumps in the road to whatever God has planned. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to blog now that Audrey is here but I'll share the adventure as often as I can manage.
I don't think anything could have prepared me for motherhood. I would say that Audrey is a very spirited child. She has a strong will and looks like the both of us. I thought she would have looked more like one of us but she is a true mix.
We have had so much happen since Audrey was born. We've had a fire, a trip to the NICU, another 4 days in the local hospital, sewer issues, the list just goes on but strangely, just looking at Audrey makes it all worth it. I think I've worried that all the problems have meant Audrey is being short changed. That maybe the stresses we have been feeling have been bad for her but she is growing and seems happy.
I think the number one lesson I've learned in the last 7 weeks is that God is in control and giving over the control is the only way to survive the ride. I had to give into the pain during childbirth and I've had to trust that the "problems" are just small bumps in the road to whatever God has planned. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to blog now that Audrey is here but I'll share the adventure as often as I can manage.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Fears, regrets, and doubts
Fears:
1. Black people hair - Ok there I said it. I'm afraid Bud will have his dad's hair. I know I've had 8 years to prepare but instead I've sat in fear. I have no clue what to do with black people hair. Ray has never had to do much to his but get it cut. Basically if we have a girl with black people hair then I'm screwed.
2. Snoopy and Jasmin - My dogs have been my babies for the last two years. I do worry that the adjustment will be too big for them. I know Ray is ready and willing to get rid of them but that would just leave me broken hearted so I'm hopeing for a smooth transition.
Regrets:
1. No pictures of me pregnant - there are no actual pictures of me pregnant. I go to the doctor's office and I see these wonderful portraits of couples with their hands on the pregnant belly and I really regret not getting any done. We tried but everytime we would schedule something it would fall thur. Oh well maybe next time.
2. No journaling enough - I haven't kept a super good record of things. I've kept this blog but with the carpal tunnel, I haven't been writing as often in this last trimester. What if I forget everything?
Doubts:
1. That I can be a good mom - I'm just worried that I've spend all of my mothering on kids that aren't my own and that now that I'm about to have a child I don't have anything left.
2. That I'll be able to balance motherhood and work - I think all new working mothers have this one. How can I do both well? I guess my job will just take a back seat to being a mom.
3. Caring for a newborn after I go back to work - thanks to the required rest from my doctors, once I do go back I will have no sick, vacation, or personal days. How will I handle appoints for the baby? What will I do if the baby gets sick? February til June is a long time to go without any days to take off.
That's the short list. The things that are keeping me up at night, aside from being kicked in the ribs by Bud's little feet.
1. Black people hair - Ok there I said it. I'm afraid Bud will have his dad's hair. I know I've had 8 years to prepare but instead I've sat in fear. I have no clue what to do with black people hair. Ray has never had to do much to his but get it cut. Basically if we have a girl with black people hair then I'm screwed.
2. Snoopy and Jasmin - My dogs have been my babies for the last two years. I do worry that the adjustment will be too big for them. I know Ray is ready and willing to get rid of them but that would just leave me broken hearted so I'm hopeing for a smooth transition.
Regrets:
1. No pictures of me pregnant - there are no actual pictures of me pregnant. I go to the doctor's office and I see these wonderful portraits of couples with their hands on the pregnant belly and I really regret not getting any done. We tried but everytime we would schedule something it would fall thur. Oh well maybe next time.
2. No journaling enough - I haven't kept a super good record of things. I've kept this blog but with the carpal tunnel, I haven't been writing as often in this last trimester. What if I forget everything?
Doubts:
1. That I can be a good mom - I'm just worried that I've spend all of my mothering on kids that aren't my own and that now that I'm about to have a child I don't have anything left.
2. That I'll be able to balance motherhood and work - I think all new working mothers have this one. How can I do both well? I guess my job will just take a back seat to being a mom.
3. Caring for a newborn after I go back to work - thanks to the required rest from my doctors, once I do go back I will have no sick, vacation, or personal days. How will I handle appoints for the baby? What will I do if the baby gets sick? February til June is a long time to go without any days to take off.
That's the short list. The things that are keeping me up at night, aside from being kicked in the ribs by Bud's little feet.
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