2 teeth

Audrey now has 2 teeth! The last two weekends, she has been fussy followed by a brand new tooth on Monday. These little teeth are sharp! They hurt when she bites down on your finger. They hurt when she bites down on the boobies.

I find myself getting all sentimental. She is growing so fast. It hardly seems possible that she already has teeth. I feel like I just found out I was going to have a baby and now she has teeth! It is also exciting watching her grow. She's about 17 pounds and 25 inches tall. She looks like her daddy with just a hint of me thrown in. She is the most beautiful shade of caramel and it looks like she is going to have her Abulita's hair, curly, thick, and just a little coarse. All in all I would say I have a real beauty on my hands.

She also has a strong personality. She likes to be tickled. She loves music videos. She wants the doggies to play with her but once she's done she lets them know it. She is also strong for a baby. You can actually see her 6-pack abs! The doctor commented that she must be strong since she held her head off the table for most of her appointment.

I am amazed by her. I'm truly humbled that God has given me this awesome task. I know my journey into motherhood is still in the beginning stages. I have a lifetime of learning still to do. But for now, I'll enjoy those 2 little teeth. Boobs heal so I'll try not to focus on the new found pain. I'll just wait for each new tooth and remember fondly when she didn't have any. Man, people were not joking when they said they grow up so quickly.

Some people suck

at reading other people. I'm a sucky person reader. Seriously, Jeffery Dahmer would have been my best friend. I would be the person on tv, "Like he seemed really nice. Quiet but nice. We would talk and he seemed normal. I guess you just never know." Dude I never know!

DH would say I collect crazies. I say I just like to talk to people. I very rarely meet a person I don't like. I trust everyone. I'm surprized I'm not dead yet. I know that there are people in this world that are out to hurt others but I guess I just believe that God will keep them away.

I don't really have a problem with my lack of character judgement. Like I said I just trust God is putting people into my life for whatever reason and go with the flow. But I'm beginning to wonder if this is a good trait to pass on to Audrey. DH is a good judge of character. He can always tell when someone is about to turn on me; he knows how a friendship will end; he tries to keep the bad people out of my life. So I hope that Audrey takes on some of his skills. I don't want anyone to hurt my Audrey but DH is also mistrustful of just about everyone and I'm not sure that is good for Audrey either. I don't want her to think that everyone is out to get her. I don't think everyone is out to get people. So how do I help strike the right balance? Teach her to trust people but keep her safe. Teach her to be cautions without teaching her to be afraid of everyone.

I'm a horrible judge of character. Some people just suck at reading other's intentions. All the way back to middle school, I've had trouble picking friends. I have one best friend that dates back to 7th grade, I think she's another reason I've made it so far. She tended to keep the bad folks out of my life too. I think she has the right balance. She has lots of friends but knows how to keep the "crazies" out of her life. Maybe with the move back to Texas, Miss Audrey will have a good model afterall.

Do you need a man?

I was reading a blog this morning that really pointed out the difficulties for breastfeeding mothers. This blog focused on one mother's struggle in Iowa. It was sad to hear that a woman was harassed for breastfeeding her 5-week old at the mall. The mall was bad enough but once the media got a hold of the story the comments from the public were horrible and people were harassing her.

That was all really bad stuff but then I got to talking to my husband and I said something I never would have thought I would have said. "I bet if her husband was with her, no one would have said anything." Which got me to thinking, do you really need a man to protect you if you are breastfeeding?

I'm not usually one of those I need a man to survive sort of woman. I've gone clubbing by myself. I'm the main bread winner in the family. I can survive on my own. Now that I'm a mother I find myself needing a man, well my man. I have so much respect for women who do this on their own, being a married mother with good backup is hard, I can't even image the stress for single mothers!

When I breastfeed in public I try to be discreet. Using covers and the such when needed but there is a part of me that really prays that no one says anything. I don't want to fight. I'll be super passive-aggressive but I'm not one to look for fights, I usually run and usually fold just to avoid confrontation. I like to talk about other peoples drama but I don't want any myself. So the idea of being told to quit breastfeeding really kinda scares me.

I have to be strong for my daughter. Breast is best. Breast is normal. So why do I feel the need to have Ray with me? Why do I think that I'm more powerful with my man? It wasn't til I thought it, "they wouldn't any say anything if her man were there" that I realized just how weak I am or at least how weak I feel. I know there is power in numbers. The more people who seem to accept something then the more likely other will accept it too. But should women feel like breastfeeding is a strange thing? What is there to accept? Breastfeeding is normal. People don't harass mothers that are bottle feeding. Do I really need a man to protect me while I feed my baby? As you can see this just brought up some weird thoughts and issues for me. Maybe I do need man, does that make me less of a woman?