I am an asshole

So it's been a year since I moved to Texas.  I've tired to get over being mad at DH for the way the move went down (it was total chaos).  I've tried to let go of the sadness over things lost in the move (Audrey's birth certificate).

Since the move, three of my VA friends have become mothers.  One passed away in childbirth (B).  She is one that has made me appreciate my life more.  So why the asshole thing?  Immediately after B's death I made a promise to keep in better contact with people.  She was there one moment and gone the next.  I never got to thank her for all of the help she gave me after Audrey's birth.  She checked on me.  She cooked for me.  She made sure I wasn't so alone when I could not have felt more alone. 

An yet I'm a total asshole.  I don't call people.  I don't write.  I barely blog updates anymore.  I want to blame my job.  I want to blame DH.  I want to blame Audrey.  I'm a professional woman by day, a mother to a toddler by night and at some point it would be good to be a decent wife.  Between all of that when could I possibly have time for anything else. 

 I have two local friends that I have been dying to see.  I moved back to Texas a year ago and still haven't seen them!  I moved back to Texas a year ago and I have only been to San Marcos/San Antonio once so my friends in that area haven't been visited in almost a year.

Yep, I'm an asshole.  At some point I have to put the blame in the right place and that is squarely on my shoulders.  I finally have some vacation coming up.  I'm thinking it's time for a trip to SM/SA.  I'm going to make lunch plans with my local girls.  I'm going to finally return some phone calls.

One year ago today

So a year ago today we left Virginia, well we left Danville. We wound up spending the night in Roanoke that night so we actually left VA the next day.

We had moved three times before and yet this was the first time we actually had friends to help us. Don't know what we would have done without K & L!

DH asked me why I was sad when I was thinking about the move. I'm not sad. There are few things I miss about Danville. Outside of my friends from Southside VA I have everything I need. But it marks the last time of many things. The last time I ever saw B/will ever see her. The many friends who promised I would see them at least once more we left. The last time we would ever be in the house where Audrey was born. My whole changed in that house. I became a mom to two fur-babies and then a real baby. I finally found a job I loved and friends. I grew up.

When we moved to VA we were kids with nothing to our names but degrees. We came back to Texas as parents, as grown ups. I do miss parts of my life in Virginia but our move to Texas was beyond the right thing to do.

I didn't want to want to move back. I thought I meant that I had failed. Turns out it means that I was letting go and Letting God take the wheel. The move is a success. I hope we'll make a trip back soon but I know we'll be going back next summer for K & L's wedding. I can't wait. Virginia was nice but I'm a Texas girl at heart.

Audrey's words

Now that my little baby is all toddler I have decided to type up a list of her words. 
So here we go:

1.  No
2.  Eyes
3. Hair
4.  Ears
5. Nose
6. Cheeks
7. Teeth
8. Eyebrow
9. Arms
10.  Apple
11.  Juice
12.  Water
13.  Out
14.  Side
15.  Walking
16.  Boob
17.  Gibby (which is what she calls her pacifier)
18.  Barney
19.  Mama
20.  Daddy
21.  Puppy
22.  Yasmin (our dog Jasmin)
23. Noopy (our dog Snoopy)
24. Sleepy
25. Peepee
26. Poop
27. Please
28. Thank you
29. Wecome (Welcome)
30. Amen
31. Elephant
32. Pig
33. Cow
34. Fish
35. Duck/Dog (She is still confusing these two)
36. Mouse
37. Sheep
38. More
39. Night (short for good night)
40. Bye
41. Agua (water in Spanish)

I think that is just about everything in her vocabulary.  Of course her number one word is "No!"  The rest she uses as needed.  Pretty good list, I think, but then I am a bit biased :)