Mamavation Monday: Scale disappointment and a reality check

So I went to the doctor last week because I decided to go running in 32 degree weather without a hat or jacket.  Yep, I let the sunny looking day lull me into thinking it was warm and totally did not plan accordingly for a freezing north wind.  I only ran a mile but it was one of the hardest of my life.  My ears were hurting so badly I almost went to the ER.  I had never had pain like that in my life.

At the doctor's office they had me step up on the scale.  That evil evil scale!  Why do they start the visit that way?  The horrible number 227!  FUCK!  So at this point I have to options I can pretend I didn't hear or care or I can melt down.  I saved my meltdown rant for later on the safety of Mamavation sistahood.  I hate to admit it really got me down.  For all of the 10k training I had not lost a single pound.  Focus on the positive, right.  I ran a fucking 10k in the middle of December after earning a 4.0 in my doctorate work.  Super positive and yet that damn number is stuck in my head.  227 and suddenly I'm a failure. 

I know I'm far from a failure.  I know I can look at my life and see the good I am doing and yet I'm struggling to shake the number.  Here is the thing, I also know that if I didn't lose I also didn't gain too much.  When Ravebaby weaned at the end of May I gained about 10 lbs.  I also started my doctorate and I was sitting more and more.  If I haven't gained more than the initial weight then I know I'm doing well.  Before I had Ravebaby 4 years ago I was 250 lbs so I'm still better today than 4 years ago.  I'm wheat-free and moving towards more whole foods and cooking more.  As a family we have set a goal for ourselves to try new fruits and vegetables at least twice a month.  We started with butternut squash and this week we'll pick up some parsnips.  We are doing better food wise and I know that will translate to a healthier me no matter what the scale says.

So the reality check is I have a long way to go in learning to cook more of a variety of  food.  I'm also not as cool with the number on the scale as I thought I was.  I know it is a number and yet I feel like it is a judgement on my being.  I'll move forward with the help of my sistas!

Measurements for the start of the year:
Bust: 46
Underbust: 38
Waist: 44
Hips: 49
Weight: 227
Longest distant run: 10k

2013 Year End Review - 2014 Goals

So a quick year end review first.  2013 was not an easy year.  It was full of hard work and seemingly little pay off.  Of course I'm saying that in my whiney voice.  This last 6 months have been very hard but I survived and I'm better for it.  Here is a list of victories for 2013 (not bragging just reminding myself that it wasn't all bad)
1. I have a 4.0 in my doctorate program after 5 classes (Fall 2013 had me taking 3 classes so I'm very surprised by the 4.0)
2. I completed my first 10k with a time of 83:30.  I set the goal at the beginning of the semester so it was a good end to the whole thing.
3. DH has an ownership stake in the local coffee shop.  Never saw that coming.
4.  Ravebaby is alive and well!  Not always an easy thing to do with an active pre-schoolers who also has a wheat allergy.

2013 was okay but I'm ready to kick 2014 in the ding-dong (Per Max Reynolds of Social Bliss).  I'm setting just a few fitness goals and keeping myself flexible since the 10k was a mid-year goal.  I don't want to focus on my weight.  Honestly I'm so sick of that shit!  I'm a big girl and I'm beautiful.  Fitness to me is about being and feeling stronger so that is what I want.
Goal 1 - Complete at least one Mamavation 2-week bootcamp.  This will push me to do some strength building workouts with accountability.  I hate weights but I got to get stronger for goal #2.
Goal 2 - Work my mile time down to 12min miles. I think this is modest and do able.  Right now I'm at 13:30/mile.  I'm at a loss how to do this but I'll get there.
Goal 3 - Run another race.  The weekend doctorate classes have kept me out of most races this last semester but I want to keep completing races.  I think it will keep me running since I"m goal oriented and it will keep me working toward Goal 2.

Goals not set - weight.  This just doesn't seem like a good measure of anything so why bother focusing on it?
Distance - I want to run a marathon at some point but I just don't want to go there yet.  I want to run faster maybe I'll end up running a half-marry or full marry who knows at this point.

So that is the year-end review and where I'm thinking of going.  Let ring in the new year and then kick in the ding-dong!

Happy Birthday Ravebaby

Ravebaby is now 4.  Her birthday was yesterday.  Really I should be calling her RaveChild but it doesn't have the same ring.
Time flies by so quickly.  Seems she was just a baby and now she is so grown up.  She is all of four but she is so grown for her age.
Happy birthday Ravebaby!