#Mamavation Monday: Changing Lives

First let me apologize for not blogging for Mamavation for so long.  My doctoral classes have been kicking my butt and when it is not kicking me, I'm just so brain dead I feel like I have no brain power to blog.  Anyways I'm here!

So the question of the week is what have I done to positively impact my family?  The number one thing I did was have a homebirth.  This isn't an ad for homebirth or about one type of birth being better than another.  Simply put it was the single most life changing decision I've made that still has a positive impact today.

What about that decision has been so impactful?  It spiraled my life for the better.  I know having a child in general can do that but if I reflect back on my life and my attitude toward life before my homebirth, I almost don't recognize myself.

The homebirth led to breastfeeding.  The breastfeeding led to discovering my daughter's wheat allergy.  That lead to going gluten-free which led to eating better then to being active in label reading and finding information on GMOs and trying to go green.  For me it all started with being welcomed into the "crunchy" community via my homebirth.  I wasn't green or hippy-ish before the homebirth and the homebirth community opened my eyes to the importance of the what goes into my body.

The homebirth also changed my outlook on myself.  I felt stronger afterward.  I felt like I could do anything since I had pushed a baby out in my living-room.  I felt more like the woman I was always meant to be and as a result I feel like I live stronger.  As the mother of a daughter, I want my daughter to see being a woman is about being strong and that we can do anything we want.  I don't want to be the do as I say not as I do sort of person so I must show her strength and not just talk about it.

To me this is were Mamavation fits into my life.  I learn about strength, both physical and spiritual, from my fellow Sistas!  Mamavation has given me tools for greening my life as well as working out.  I love that I can turn to the Sistahood when I'm feeling weak.  When I need extra support or just a safe place to bitch.  I love the Sistahood and before my homebirth I would have never reached out to join so yes, my homebirth changed everything for me and my family.

Song response: Emblem3 - Chloe (You're the one I want)

If you don't know this song then look it up.  It is fun and pop-py and sounds like a wonderful idea.  You are just you and I love you for you but listen and it quickly turns into the backhanded complement of the year!

Lyrics:
Chloe, I know your sister turns everyone on
But you're the one I want

No talk about Chloe being hot.  Nothing about Chloe at all.  We know her sister is hot but what about Chloe?  Is she the fat one with a great personality?  What about her turns you on?  I think you just hope the fat chick will put out.

Lyrics:
I love the way that you like candle light

Why the candlelight?  So that you don't have to see my face?  Seriously!

The video is even worse for the back-hand!  They won't let in the models but the Chloes are all model without makeup on!  Where are the girls that look like me?  Actual curves and a spare tire?  I'm fucking hot and turn people on too, right?  Well according to Emblem3, they just settle for me.  I'm not that hot but maybe I'll put out for the right complement.  I don't like this song.

Statistics and me

I have another confession to make and it is one that I have made freely to people but I don't think I've really talked about it here.  I'm afraid of statistics.  I know that is a common fear but it is one that has kept me out of my professional/educational path for a long time. 

See I have two Masters degrees.  When people hear that they are always so impress or think I'm crazy but the reason I have two Masters degrees is statistics.  Rather than face the challange of learning statistics, which I knew I would need for a doctorate, I took the easy way out and earned another Masters degree.  It's a bit crazy.  Fear is a bit crazy in general.

Why talk about this now?  Well it has come to a head.  I have declared myself for the Research and Evaluation cognate for my doctorate in Ed leadership which means statistics!  I'm terrified.  I'm in a catch-22 at the moment.  I have no background in statistics but I'm too advanced in my studies for an elementary stats class.  As a fellow doctoral student told me, "You are too smart.  They teach to the lowest person in the class.  You'll be bored and feel like you've wasted your money."  I know she's right but I'm just so afraid since I'm already coming in behind.  I've decided to work my way through the elementary statistics book so that I can get a foundation in stats and then I'll be jumping into the deep end of the pool with a stats class at the Masters level.  I already said I was scare right? 

If I am going to dare greatly then I have to risk failing.  I don't want to take the easy way out and just choose curriculum and instruction for my cognate.  I want to be a researcher and statistic just can't get the better of me.  I think that would be my deathbed regret if I don't go for it.  I never tried to learn statistics and go for my real dream of being a researcher.  I don't want to chicken out.  I want to stand strong and maybe fail in a huge way going for my dreams.  So I'm daring greatly.  I'm entering the arena.  Courage or comfort, never both, right?