Friday, April 4, 2014

Statistics and me

I have another confession to make and it is one that I have made freely to people but I don't think I've really talked about it here.  I'm afraid of statistics.  I know that is a common fear but it is one that has kept me out of my professional/educational path for a long time. 

See I have two Masters degrees.  When people hear that they are always so impress or think I'm crazy but the reason I have two Masters degrees is statistics.  Rather than face the challange of learning statistics, which I knew I would need for a doctorate, I took the easy way out and earned another Masters degree.  It's a bit crazy.  Fear is a bit crazy in general.

Why talk about this now?  Well it has come to a head.  I have declared myself for the Research and Evaluation cognate for my doctorate in Ed leadership which means statistics!  I'm terrified.  I'm in a catch-22 at the moment.  I have no background in statistics but I'm too advanced in my studies for an elementary stats class.  As a fellow doctoral student told me, "You are too smart.  They teach to the lowest person in the class.  You'll be bored and feel like you've wasted your money."  I know she's right but I'm just so afraid since I'm already coming in behind.  I've decided to work my way through the elementary statistics book so that I can get a foundation in stats and then I'll be jumping into the deep end of the pool with a stats class at the Masters level.  I already said I was scare right? 

If I am going to dare greatly then I have to risk failing.  I don't want to take the easy way out and just choose curriculum and instruction for my cognate.  I want to be a researcher and statistic just can't get the better of me.  I think that would be my deathbed regret if I don't go for it.  I never tried to learn statistics and go for my real dream of being a researcher.  I don't want to chicken out.  I want to stand strong and maybe fail in a huge way going for my dreams.  So I'm daring greatly.  I'm entering the arena.  Courage or comfort, never both, right?