What is a soulmate?

 So the topic of the soulmate has been crossing my path a lot lately.  Recently one of my younger running friends was contemplating finding a soulmate and what he is looking for in that person.  Now it was a Facebook post and I had a few minutes so I responded.  Now I'm going on almost 20 years of marriage so I'm the first to admit, I have no real idea what it is like to be dating in today's world.  I have several single friends so I get to hear all about the horribleness of the current dating scene.  But the thing about being married for almost 20 years has also opened my mind to what or who a soulmate is in my life and what it means to have a soulmate and a romantic partner.

So what is a soulmate?  Honestly, I haven't done the research but as I look around, I know I have had more than 1 soulmate.  As I think about soulmates, I stopped to think about my soul and I came to the conclusion, the soul is multidimensional.  For me, in my mind, I have a vision of a heart that is like a cut crystal so there are lots of surfaces and flat spaces.  So to me, a soulmate is a person that fits into one of the spaces/surfaces of my soul.  There is a person that fits each space, maybe they fit several spaces but I have lots of spaces so then I have lots of soulmates.

As I was thinking about my soulmates, I thought about the ones I have lost along the way.  It was hard to go over those naked scarred areas.  Remembering those who have left.  Number one is a person that I use to talk a lot about on this blog back in 2012-2014 or so.  My ex-bandmate, the person I called "Soul-sister."  She has moved on in life and she is completely out of my life at this point.  I still miss her.  She was a person that seemed to get me, understand me, and allowed me to be myself even if she hated certain aspects of my personality.  No one will be able to fit those spaces the way she did.  Honestly, there has been so much life since then that I don't think she could fit those spaces the same way anymore but she was a soulmate.  

Even now, I have probably 2 soulmates outside of my husband.  These are not romantic partners.  These are friends that I met and just clicked with.  Right now if something cool/interesting happens, outside of my husband, these are the folks I want to call/text.  I can go for a run and just tell one of these folks, like everything.  Mom stuff, professional stuff, runner stuff, growing older stuff and we can have those conversations as we are dying on the running trails or later while we enjoy some coffee.  She was a person who came into my life through a mutual friend and just felt like a sister I didn't know I had.  

A soulmate that is still dear to me but actually lives far away is the groom (see blogs from 2013 for more info on him).  I got to see him again a few years ago when I took a trip back to NC/VA area.  It was just like there had been no time apart.  When I moved to Va, he became the big brother I never had, and helping him find a wife was one of the best experiences of my life (I love his wife!).  We just clicked.  I was brand new to the school.  I never felt like I fit the program but the Groom was just so much fun to get to know and really he is like a brother.  I don't get to see him very often, I communicate with his wife more, but we still just fit together and I have a friend locally that is also like an older brother, no one else fits like the Groom.

These soulmates all help me grow and learn more about myself.  They were people with whom I just clicked.  They are people that I name in my prayers.  They are the people that when I was with them physically, it was like a warm hug even if we are sitting across a table from each other.  

Yes having a romantic partner is awesome and amazing and I'm blessed but having those other soulmates is necessary too.  My husband can't be my everything and it isn't fair to try and make him that for me.  Don't be afraid of having lots of soulmates and don't limit yourself to only using the term soulmate for the person in your bed.  

I'm a TROT Ambassador!

 Happy New Year!

So I have a bit of exciting news to share!  If you read the title then you know what it is.  I am officially a Trail Racing Over Texas ambassador!  We are known as the TROT Tribe!

So what does that mean?  Basically, I get to promote TROT races and be part of a kick-ass community.  What does that mean for you?  More posts about running and racing and an invitation to join the community by running and interacting with us.  

As you lived in 2020, you probably noticed that not many races were held.  TROT actually held some live races in the Fall and even with the awesome COVID protocols, due to my parent living with me, I just didn't feel like I could risk it.  So in 2020, I ran Running the Rose (11 miles), which was a TROT race, and then the Race for Hope Half-Marathon here in Lufkin, both pre-Covid.  

Now in 2020, I more or less kept my commitment to run 40 miles per month.  I got a total of 700 miles for the year but I'll be honest, I didn't always get 40 per month. I used running to survive working from home so in May and June I got 100 each month then I more or less coasted to 700.  Had I actually kept my 40 per month then there is no telling how many miles I could have gotten?  Part of my running was I was training for my 1st 50k and then when I saw that running a race was just not safe enough for my family, I just felt like the wind was out of my sails.  Getting the TROT ambassadorship means I'm back at it.  Back to training for my 1st 50k.  I will be an ultramarathoner by the end of 2021.  Actually, I'm targeting late April at the TROT Brazos Bend 50.  

Okay back to the point of this post, I want to tell you about TROT and why I wanted to work with them.  So like I mentioned earlier, I have run a few races with TROT.  I have also run with a different trail racing company and I can tell you TROT is the best.  Rob, the race director/owner, has created a community for all runners.  So many races are focused on elite athletes.  If the back of the pack runner finishes great but the race isn't really for them.  Rob does not operate that way.  He wants everyone to run and enjoy trails.  Rob makes sure he has plenty of food and drinks at the aid stations and that aid stations aren't so far apart a runner would be in danger.  Trust me, not all racing companies worry about that.  

You know I'm a fluffy runner.  I'm a plus-sized runner.  I'm a "back of the pack", I just want to finish runner.  My run at Tejas in September 2019 is the race that made me love TROT.  Y'all I almost didn't finish. It was hot and humid.  The trail is hard.  Rob saw me come into the aid station and talked me into finishing.  He gave me tips.  He gave me encouragement.  Everybody at that race did that for me.  When I ran Running the Rose, Jan 2020, just weeks after recovering from pneumonia, I did so knowing that if it when south on me, I would be safe.  I knew someone would find me and help me get to safety if I just couldn't move anymore.  There might be world-champs on the trail but when I run with TROT, I feel like I'm an elite athlete.  I get fed.  I get hydrated.  I get love.  All of that comes from the top down.  It starts with ROB!

So run with TROT!  On January 16, from 2pm-7pm CST, TROT will be hosting a Signupathon.  25% of race entries and race credits, y'all races will be on sale but just during that time so hop on to the TROT Facebook page and join in the fun.

I hope some of you will join TROT for a race or two this upcoming season.  Races usually have a 5k, 10k, 25k, 50k, and 50 Mile+ option so there is a doable distance for everyone with a published cut off time.  You can totally do it!

If you have questions you can always drop me an email martha (at) wheatlessmama (dot) com  

If you live local to me then please feel free to contact me about joining me for a trail run.  Yes, it can be scary to get out there alone, especially on a trail you have never run so reach out and let run/walk/crawl a few miles together!

Even if it cost you everything: Jeannie Gaffigan

 Depending on what you view for entertainment, you may or may not know who Jeannie Gaffigan is.  Hopefully, you know her husband, Jim Gaffigan.  Both are known as strong family values people and are openly Catholic.  So what does that have to do with anything?

Let me take you back a couple of years to a guy named Colin Kaepernick.  He was a pro-football player who refused to stand for the National Anthem.  He chose to kneel.  He was working to bringing attention and change to police interactions with the Black community.  He lost his job.  He lost his career.  He put it all on the line and it cost him.  Nike, the shoe company, then ran an ad campaign around not just Mr. Kaepernick but his sacrifice was the kickoff point.

Again, what the hell does that have to do with the Gaffigans?  Jim's career has been built on him being a good Christian dad.  Jeannie is an amazing writer and the brains behind his career moves.  They have granted lots of interviews and seek opportunities that are on-brand for them.  They don't go out and do un-Christian things.  They are so not-Hollywood.  It is more important to be true to themselves than to make money.  Like the Gaffigans are everything we want Hollywood Christians to be.  They appeal to Catholics.  They appeal to Christians.  They appeal to pro-family values folks.  In other words, their audience is a bunch of Trumpers, but not exclusively and in fairness, they haven't courted Trumpers, it just happens that those are the people who connect to them.

Oh hell, Martha, what is your point?  Well, a few months ago, they made the decision to come out in favor of Biden/Harris.  Jim released videos blasting Trump.  Jeannie tweeted Biblical and Catholic doctrine reasons for why as a Christian you can't vote for Trump.  Y'all, two people who didn't need to say a damn thing and who know that it could very well cost them everything spoke up because it was on their hearts.  They put their safety on the line.  They put their careers on the line.  

Keep in mind, they are not known for being political.  Their fan base could have turned on them completely.  They knew they could stay silent.  They could cast their vote privately and let people just assume who they would be voting for but no they stood up for what is right.  They got hate for it.  They lost some opportunities for it.  They never backed down.  Even today, they are getting threats and hate.  They are not backing down.

So what?  I was publically supporting Biden/Harris but I was very careful to not make any statements that labeled me a "Catholic for Biden" because I knew the hate that would come my way.  But when I saw the Gaffigans stand up, I did too.  I changed my Twitter profile to include that I am a #CatholicForBiden and man did the hate wave come my way.  I'm a nobody and I got hate.  I can't imagine what they got.

Why am I singling out Jeannie?  She is a mom.  She is a Catholic mom who is truly a role model for me.  I've been reading her tweets.  She is smart and funny.  She educates without insulting.  She quotes the Bible and Catholic doctrine not just responses with feeling.  She is amazing.  I hope to one day be able to put the perfect quote that shows caring and research.

Thankfully Biden won.  I'm more hopeful than I have been in the last four years.  I hope that more people stand up and keep Biden moving in the right direction.  The work is far from over.  As we keep moving forward, I just wanted to stop for a second and acknowledge Jeannie Gaffigan for being a role model.  She stood up when she didn't have to.  She risked everything for her beliefs.  In a world that praises making money and physical beauty above all, be Jeannie.