Big plans for a little baby

So Audrey is all of 9 months old but already people are asking about her birthday.  What are you going to do?  Where are you going to have her party? 

I am unsure of how to handle this.  She is going to be a year old.  She doesn't really have friends so who do you invite?  This lack of friends is beginning to be a problem for Audrey.  She wants to interact with other kids.  She wants to do this during mass, not exactly the best time.  I took her to my aunt's house so she could play with my cousin's son.  He was willing to play but he is about 5 months old and got tired of waiting for Audrey to get going.  But at least she met someone new. 

I want her to have friends.  I don't want to hold her back from becoming the social butterfly she seems to want to be but how do I get her new friends when I don't have any here?  Either I'm finding moms who stay at home and therefore have daytime playdates or it's women with no children.  I really am at a loss.  I know part of the reason I'm holding back on making/finding local friends is that I have one foot out of the door.  The plan is to move to Austin in a couple of years so that Ray can work on his PhD.  Once I decided to stop planning for the future I know I'll find people but I just don't want to.  The last time I finally let my guard down and starting looking for friends, I found group of incredible woman (the Triad Tot Totters).  They were wonderful and I could relate to them and we could hang but then as soon as I found them we moved to Texas.  So I"m a little gunshy.  I want friends, I hate being by myself all day but I'm making friends just to leave them.  What is the best thing for Audrey?  I know the answer is to get off my ass and find some friends so I guess that is my next task.  Anyone in the deep East Texas area want to hang?

Wordless Wednesday - Teeth!

Just showing off Audrey's teeth.

Fear of birth

I have a friend that has entered the anyday now phase of pregnancy.  Well really she's not due for about 5 more weeks but babies have their own plans.  So anyways, I find myself praying for her and fearing the phone call.  I still feel so raw from the shock of B's death, I can't help but to fear the next phone call.  Also in fairness, I also had a friend lose a baby about three weeks ago, which is also still floating around in my head.

You know I had a homebirth.  You know I worry about going to hospital no matter what the cause.  After B's death the fear of birthing in the hospital is so on the surface.  I know K is ready and willing and begging for a c-section.  She also knows quite well my feelings on cutting.  But above all I believe in anyone's choice to birth or not as they please.  I think I've just has the rose-colored glasses removed from my eyes when it come to the hospital birth.  I guess part if just naivety on my part.  I have always felt that good people deserve good things and that God will protect them.  But honest to goodness B was as close to a saint as I had met and she didn't make it thur child birth.  I know good people die.  I know that good vs bad doesn't really matter to death.  So if my faith in fairness is shaken and smaller then what has filled the space and the cracks, fear. 

I love K, much like I did B.  I want to hear/read on her facebook all about the wonderful surgery and how her gallbladder scar and c-section scar make a smiley face.  But I'm afraid I'll be receiving a call from Leann letting me that things are not good.  I'm afraid too for my other friend who will giving birth in the same hospital and with the same practice as B.  That hospital has a reputation for death, especially maternal death.  So I guess all I can do is pray and celebrate and gift like everyone will be there for me to see in the summer when I finally return to Southside Virginia.

Baby J will be a year old, B will not be there.  Baby A will be close to 10 months old, I have faith K will be there to tell me all about the horrible things that Baby A has done.  D will have a 5-month old Baby B and tell me all about how I worry too much and to get advice on breastfeeding a baby with teeth.  A lot can happen between here and there.  I guess I could end up dead, only God knows.  Hopefully we'll be going up there to celebrate a wedding for Leann and a second baby for me.  Only time will tell.