Saturday, January 14, 2012

Time for me

I just got a haircut.  It had been a good 5 months since my last haircut.  Strangely, I felt a bit guilty taking the time to do it.  Like, I shouldn't be in a stylist chair but next to my DH watching Audrey play.  I have to get over it.  Audrey is getting to be more independent.  I'm not sure I'm ready for that.  She has never been a high needs baby but we do love to be together.  I work full-time; I"m away all day 5 days a week.  I need to spend time with my child but at the same time I need to spend time with myself and with DH.  How do moms with more than 1 kid do it!? 

I have been talking with DH about stepping back in my career once he finishes his Masters.  We want to homeschool and I want to spend time with Audrey without the pressure of work.  I want to be a mom.  DH points out that I have never been good at taking time off.  I have to have my time filled up.  He thinks staying at home would be the death of me.  Maybe he's right.  Can I be happy just being a mom?  But would I just be a mom?  I want to step up my commitment to LLL. I want to teach my daughter.  I want to work more on my blog.  Oh yeah and have more kids.  I think my day would be full.  I also want to go back to college and take some classes but that is a back-burner kind of thing. 

We'll see what happens.  Right now, I'm trying to balance what I have.