I told my mom

Today I told my mom I am pregnant! She was thrilled. I started by telling her that I had bad news. I would not be able to come to Texas for Christmas again this year. (This will make 2 years in a row that I haven't been home!) But I did have good news, the reason I wouldn't be able to make it is because I'll be like 9 months pregnant. It took her a minute but she was so excited. She is making plans to come up and help when we have the baby. I'm glad she reacted to happily. I know it's her fifth grandchild so I'm sure it's not as exciting as the first but she knows I've been wanting a baby for awhile so she's happy that I'm happy.

FEAR . . .

Okay I have to admit that I'm afraid of this whole baby thing. We still have a week until our dr. appt. and I'm so afraid the doctor is going to give us bad news. I have no reason to believe anything is wrong. I'm tired but that is normal for this point of my pregnancy and I've never been one to take it easy so slowing down a bit is not a bad thing.
I guess my fear has to do with my happiness. I'm happy. Life is good. We have a lot of work and saving to do before the baby arrives but I'm happy. Truly I am living a blessed life. I have a wonderful growing family. I've been wanting a baby for a long time and finding out that I'm pregnant was like the answer to a prayer. So why the fear? I'm so happy that I just don't think that the happiness can last. Why should I be so happy when other people are suffering? How can I be building a wonderful life when I'm such a horrible ungrateful person?
I know that God only gives us what we can handle and I think I can handle anything that comes my way but I'm still terrified the doctor will tell me they can't find a heartbeat. I'm praying that everything goes well and fingers crossed the doctor will tell me eveything is progressing well and then I'll go to worrying about things that are important like world peace.

I'm a mommy to be!

I'm 6 weeks along in my first pregnancy. I'm tired! We haven't told many people yet. Not quite sure what we are waiting for. We plan to tell our parents this weekend! We thought it would be a nice surprise for our mothers on Mother's Day. This would be the 5th grandchild for each of our parents!

Despite being married for over 7 years, we are the last ones in our families to have a child. Right now, we are just thankful that God has given us this great and awe-inspiring task.
I've not been much of a blogger before but this feels like an important thing to chronicle. I've even been writing in a pregnancy journal! My thoughts are not deep but maybe some day my child will think they were interesting.

Yesterday my husband decided to call our baby "Bud" since that is all it has right now, according to the books we reading. We'll get our first full prenatal check-up on May 18th. Then we'll hear more about Bud. I can't hardly wait!