Yeast

So if you can't tell the name of my blog, my life is wheat-less.  We don't eat wheat because DH and Audrey are both allergic.  Along with wheat, DH has many other food allergies.  They are all manageable and I never remember the whole list.  Outside of wheat and oranges, we don't worry too much about the rest of the allergy herd.  So that brings me to yeast.  DH is allergic.  I never think about it.  It is actually his biggest allergen. 

This weekend I made focaccia bread from Chebe brand mix.  It was good!  DH was actually excited about eating a sandwich.  I guess we've been missing fancy breads.  Anyways, I mentioned that I could make my own from a recipe I have but I'm afraid to work with yeast.  I always kill it.  DH stopped me and said you remember I'm allergic to yeast right so just buy the mix.  Actually I had forgotten.  I felt like a horrible wife!  Avoiding wheat is so present in my mind but the rest of the allergen gang is all but forgotten.  I bought the mix.

Sexy

DH and I had a long discussion yesterday after my "Feeling Fat" post.  He of course argued that men don't feel like that.  They don't allow the media in like that.  He's a big guy and if the clothes don't fit he just moves on.  Okay, but men also don't have really have the skinny vs fluffy debate to deal with.  If I want something sexy I have to go to a specialty store.  Big Girls 'R Us ain't on every corner.  A fluffy girl has to know where to shop.  We can't just go into any store and expect to walk out with something.  If the store doesn't have a "Plus-size" "Today's Woman" "Womens" or another random for the fluffy girl term section then you are shit out of luck.  With men tending to buy big, thanks to the horrible show your underwear fashion, they can usually find something even if it is just undershirts.  Not true for the fluffy girl.  If I want something other than perfume, Victoria's secret is not for me.  By the same token, if you want something from Lane Bryant and you are under a size 14, they go nothing for you.  Women are set up in a vs fashion.  Skinny bitches vs Fluffy goddesses; what is up with that!?

Anyways, I'm still on the hunt of a garter belt and stockings.  I've gone to the interwebs and have found a lot of stuff.  I'm a bit worried about the budget but only because I found some to die for steel-bones corsets.  Too bad I don't blog toward fashion or might could talk some of these companies into letting me try and review.  LOL.  The quest continues.

I am sexy.  My clothes don't really mean anything.  My feelings about myself are all in my head and on this blog.  Yes, there are times I feel fat.  There are also times I'm walking around thinking I'm the hottest thing ever.  Most days I'm just happy in my own skin.  So with or without the corset, garter belt, stockings, and sky-high pump, I'm sexy and I know it!

Feeling fat

so yesterday I went to Victoria's Secret.  Needless to say I now feel super fat.  Since losing weight with the wheatfree diet, I've been having a crisis of body image.  Strangely, I was more comfortable being bigger.  I felt sexy.  Now I just don't know how to feel about me.  I'm about a size 16.  Basically I'm back to my high school size, not my high school weight but size.  I feel too fat for "regular" sized clothes but the "plus" sized stuff fit too big.  I'm in a no woman's land. 

As part of my trying to reclaim me, I'm trying to evolve my personal style.  I want to be a bit more pin-up and less sweatpants mom.  I want to feel sexy, strong and beautiful all the time instead of feeling so slouchy.  The make-up I can totally handle.  While I tend to be more clean faced, I love eyeliner.  I am in search of the perfect red lipstick but that is a blog for another day.  I am struggling with the clothes.  I want to wear things fitted but then my muffin top shows.  I want to wear things that are breastfeeding friendly.  I've actually had a lot of luck with that.

One area that is actually working for me is shoes!  Since I have to wear pumps and "fancy" shoes to work, I am finding for the first time in my life I can wear high heels without a problem.  So this leads me to Victoria's Secret.  I love wearing a garter belt and stockings.  They feel sexy.  They are classic pin-up.  It's like a sexy secret since it's under the dress and only I know I have it on.  None of my old garter belts fit and I don't have any stockings so off I got to buy some.  I headed to the Secret in hopes of finding something.  Instead, I left with my ego super bruised.  I feel fat.  Oh well, I'll feel sexy another day.

Scary ain't it :)