Sunday, December 23, 2012

Open up or die trying

Last nights year end review had a beautiful image. Someone mentioned hatching. The idea that a new person emerged. After it was said it was the word that we all kept using because it was the best way to describe this year. We all hatched. 2012 was a year of lots of change. Change is hard but if you go with the idea of the egg getting out of egg isn't easy. If you don't try, if you don't break open when it is time then you die. You can't be an egg forever. Hatch or die. Open to the world or never see it.

This year has been full of change for me. I feel like I am learning to listen. I feel like I am learning to ask for help. I feel like I am learning to receive help. I hate to quote OWN but this particular idea really has changed my mindset. I have to be prepared to receive.. I can not just ask for help I have to be ready to receive it. I have to accept it. I can't expect people to come to me be rejected and then keep coming back. I must be open to receive. So I am getting open. I am going to see those chances and accept them.

Of course the other side of the coin is being open to giving. For this is turn to Billy Bob Thornton in Love Actually, "I'll give you anything you ask as long as it is something I am willing to give." So true. I give freely. My money my time what little wisdom I have. What I don't give too freely is my emotional state of mind. I rarely talk about my feelings. In part I do that here and I don't like to rehash things again and again and in part because I find people don't have time. I am the soundboard. I don't use the soundboard. Outside of DH and this blog it is very rare for me to open up about things. A good example would be Brianna. I have written at length about her here and hours and hours with DH but I have barely mentioned her to anyone else. She changed my life and yet I haven't mentioned her outside of my safe circle. So I'm going to get more open. When people give me the chance I will take it. I will open up. Not because it would be a benefit to anyone else but sometimes you should bounce off of another human rather than a blog.

2013 is right around the corner. What will this new year bring? What will I feel, do, say? Will I make the world a better place? Will my band finally settle on a name and play a gig? I can't wait to see.