Sunday, December 2, 2012

Theme of the year: get off your ass

So I think the theme for my life general is getting off my ass. After last nights talk with the back alley gang, I think it is the mandate for my up coming year. I've taken a few months to chill and let everyone else work. See I have a horrible habit of just taking things over. I am given a task and then I just do the whole project. Can we say control issues! Anyway, I really have not been doing too much in the way of helping anyone in the back alley. One no one has asked and two some else has been doing it so I was just selfish and sat on my butt. Last night that changed. The call for help and purpose has gone out and I must get up.

Besides just getting up, I know I also need to work on just working on the given task. Right now I along with Rocker wife are in charge of making a Community Calendar. We have zero money and yet a mandate. How will we pull off something beautiful, tasteful and above all useful. I have a vision. Rocker wife also has a vision. Do they match so far so good. On to the task of making it reality. But this in the grand scheme of things is easy. The hard thing for me will be to listen to Rocker wife and create together and then complete the task and wait for my next task. What I don't want to do is step on toes and bully my way to the top and impose my will. I mean I know me, this is my MO. I take one task and then I take over.

How can I change that? How do I keep myself in check? Lucky for me, I seem to have an arch-nemesis for control. A man whom it seems is my DH's brother from another mother and believes that he will bring about the end of the world with sheer will. His own presents and purpose, along with my current "been it, ain't it" attitude, have been enough to keep my hands clean. I haven't jumped in for fear of rocking the boat and then what if I actually have control of something and totally mess it up. I mean things are going well, I can only muck it up right?

The man of sheer will will in fact be holding tight the reins. This I know. I know what I can do, want to do, and where I fall short. This year I learn to jump in and to work instead on controlling. This year, will vs will will all bow to the will of fire and greater collective. My bs won't take over and destroy. I will fake it til I make it and/or get bored/distracted. I will get my hands dirty while not taking the reins. I will learn to be a follower with purpose rather than a leader or a sheep. Guys, wish me luck :)