Friday, March 26, 2010

My daughter is black and I am not.

In case you didn't know, Audrey is half-Mexican and half-Black. I usually don't notice the whole color thing. My husband and I have been a couple for close to 15 years so you just stop noticing but the other day I was playing on the computer and taking pictures of Audrey and I together and I was struck by the fact that my daughter is black. She will probably be able to "pass" as a black woman without anyone questioning her background. Even with her "Mexican" hair, people will just think she has good black people hair with a perm or the ever famous, she's got some Indian in her family.
The problem I have is I'm not black. How do I raise a strong black woman, when I'm not one? How do I raise my daughter to be proud of her Mexicaness, when she will be able to deny it so easily? I'm lucky to have so many strong black woman in my life, my best friend Hithia is an incredible woman and I know she'll be an excellent role model for Audrey. And my mother-in-law and sister-in-law also can't be beat. But shouldn't learning to be a woman come from me? I know she'll get her raising from me, God willing I'll live to see her grow up but tomorrow isn't promised. But I can't help but to worry that I'll miss something vital. Maybe it has nothing to do with blackness and I'm just worried about being a good mom. I guess time will tell.