So I watched a show a few weeks back about a model becoming a mom. I was struck by one thing she said, "I'm still the same person. The baby didn't change me. I'm still going to do what I did before the baby." Is that possible?
I mean really can you have/adopt/acquire a child and not change anything? Since I gave birth to a child I can only talk from that perspective, I know adoption and fostering are different so I can't say anything about those experiences. So it's not that nothing about me is the same but so much is different. I mean even my body is different. Now I have stretch marks and make milk! I assume that "private area" is different as well. So I'm not the same person physically. At work, I make time to pump. So work life is not the same. At home, I have a baby to take care of so home is definitely not the same! How can anybody have a child and be same after?
Is the baby all I talk about? No, trust me I still bitch about work and things outside of Audrey. But strangely nobody wants to hear that. Before baby people would ask how I was doing now the question is how is the baby. As other mothers warned me, once the baby is here nobody cares how you are doing. While I was pregnant people would ask about the baby and the preparations so the question is do we as mothers get conditioned to talk about the baby by other people or is it just something that we do ourselves?
I have been accused of having nothing to talk about besides the baby. That I'm obsessed with pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding. Yes I am. I've learned a lot about those topics in recent months. It is my current area of research but if I were researching and talking up Slave Era music and talked about it 24/7 would you have a problem with that?
My husband loves to research, he picks a topic and learning everything he can about it. Then he proceeds to teach me about it. While it can be boring to learn about buckeye balls and some kind of condensate, I know that he is excited to learn and to teach so I'm excited to learn and hear him. I don't get in his face and talk about how he's changed and now he's boring. There are people who make their living talking and learning about only one thing, Stephen Hawking comes to mind. People don't get in their faces and tell them they are boring but yet people feel justified in doing that to mothers!
Audrey is my research topic. She is my life's work. Sorry that doesn't fulfill your needs for interesting conversation. But at the same time if you want to know my thoughts on Obama's health care reform then ask me. I also have opinions on Virginia's new governor. I can always talk about Steeler football. And have you watch RuPaul's Drag Race, ask me! Don't blame me when you find the conversation boring, maybe you need to ask more interesting questions.
Mothers aren't boring. We have a research topic that is ALWAYS changing so we always have something new to share. You want to know about other things then ask. I don't always know what is going on in the world outside of Audrey but that doesn't mean I don't care, I just don't have time. Ask, share, and be patient if I'm a little out of date. At least somethings never change. Tiger Woods is still a loving faithful husband and Izzy Stevens is still running the halls of Seattle Grace. Oh wait! I think I heard something on the news about both of those!