Sunday, April 14, 2013

What the fuck is a shinobi?

Archnemesis and DH love to speak in Samurai/Ninja/Anime speak. Honestly once I hear anything that I think might be used in an anime I totally tune out. However last night I finally bit and asked DH, what the fuck is a shinobi?

Here is my understanding of shinobi: a ninja/samurai who is willing to sacrifice for the good of the community. According to Urban Dictionary a shinobi is a highly trained ninja who is an expert in stealth retreats also known as a Warrior of the Night or Walker in Shadow. To all of that my response, what the fuck is a shinobi?

According to DH, everyone in the coffee crew is a shinobi. They all give of themselves for the good of the community. So be extension is would include me. I call bullshit. When do I give of myself for the good of the community? Now yes, I would say I give myself for my family. DH and Ravebaby are my world and I have no problem sacrificing for them. When the hell else do I do that shit?

I think some of my resistance is the premises in my mind that a shinobi must be doing this for just the community. I guess I see it as a good guy in the shadows. I am no good guy and very rarely do I do anything without expectation of something in return. How can I be shinobi when I am one never with the coffee crew and two I am looking for something in return?

Maybe this is still part of my own view of myself as a horrible person. I mean I do give but yes I want a thank you back. I don't want money or things in return. Usually I want acknowledgement and a feeling of belonging. I know if you give with the expectation of something in return you are by definition not giving freely. If you are not giving freely then you are not a good person. If I expect something back then I am not really being a good giving person, I am just a self-centered asshole.

Anyways but the point, what the fuck is a shinobi? I don't know.